Here comes the... "mother of the groom"

[Melman]

After enjoying all these fashion threads for shoes, purses, dresses, and more, it's my time to ask for suggestions. My son is getting married in May. The mother-of-the-bride hasn't picked a dress yet, but she's looking for a long dress. The wedding is at the end of May...and will be held here in the warm south.

I've looked in a few stores but they're mostly still getting rid of their holiday dresses and not stocked very well with wedding-type dresses. Since I can't really look at anything "in person", I thought it would be fun to see what the fashion mavens find as possibilities.

I'd love to find a dress either in some variety of turquoise or coral/melon, but the main thing is to find a dress that's a good color for me. My best colors are autumn-type colors. I'm planning to have at least a subtle amount of tan by then (at least the winter "lily white" glare will be gone!)

I'd like something that will look good dancing. My son and his fiance have been taking dance lessons. *THEY* will look good on the dance floor. He's asked if I want to go to the dance studio to perfect (or at least to have a clue) the groom/mother-of-the-groom dance.

It's a church wedding. Where the bride and possibly the attendants will have strapless or spaghetti strap dresses, I can't get by with that. Slight sleeve, sheer cap sleeve, something like that will be fine. Sleeveless *COULD* be ok, depending on the cut.


And the most important - absolutely nothing that comes anything close to being described as "matronly"!!!!!! ARrrghh!!!! I was at a bridal shop and asked the salesperson to point me toward the "mother" dresses. Good grief!! My grandmother is 91-years-old...some of these things looked too matronly for her!!!! :eek:

Please think of this as fun. Until I can actually see some dresses with my own eyes and try them on to see what looks the best, I'm looking for ideas. If someone comes up with *THE PERFECT DRESS*, I'll certainly search for it. I have Atlanta and Charlotte within driving distance....and will be in DC in March. I have a little more than four months to find the dress.

THANKS!! :D

[Kathy B]

Hi, Melanie! I have absolutely nothing to offer in the area of fashion (trust me, you DON'T want my help!:D ), but just wanted to say congratulations to your DS! What an exciting event! Best wishes to all of you! :)

[Natasha]

Melanie!!

I had no idea your DS was getting married. Many congratulations to him and to you!! How exciting :)

No advice on the dress, but I had to jump in to congratulate you.

Natasha (who owes you a PM - sorry :o)

[badunnin]

Something like these from Nordstrom?

http://a1216.g.akamai.net/f/1216/955/6h/images2.nordstrom.com/ImageGallery/store/Product/MediumLarge/16/_5342156.jpg

http://a1216.g.akamai.net/f/1216/955/6h/images2.nordstrom.com/ImageGallery/store/Product/MediumLarge/2/_5296322.jpg

[badunnin]

Also very nice...

http://a1216.g.akamai.net/f/1216/955/6h/images2.nordstrom.com/ImageGallery/store/Product/MediumLarge/18/_5041358.jpg

[sneezles]

My son is getting married in May.

Oh my goodness, Melanie! Congratulations!!! You must be very happy...you do like your future DIL? ;) I'm sure you'll get plenty of fashion advice but I just wanted to express my joy for you!!!!

[Melman]

Thanks to everyone for the kind comments. :D Yes, the future daughter-in-law is wonderful. They've been dating forever! They started as best friends in high school and dated all through college. He proposed just before Christmas...and she said "yes!" They've done a terrific job getting everything lined up for a wedding barely five months away (from the time of the engagement).

The dresses from Nordstrums are really pretty! We don't have Nordstrums around here, but I know they're in both Charlotte and Atlanta. I think I'm going to have TWO trips to Charlotte before the end of the month. The wrap idea of the violet/purple dress would be very flattering for sure..actually, both of those tops would be flattering. And I could definitely pull off the copper color of the first one. Good ideas so far! Thanks!

[Lauren]

Congratulations! I don't have a daughter, but some day I hope to have wonderful daughters-in-law. :D

The dresses from Nordstrom's are very nice. You may find their on-line selection different than in the actual store. Good luck ... I know you'll find a fabulous dress! :D

[boisewinesnob]

Congrats Melanie!

[syzygy]

The Nordstrom site (http://shop.nordstrom.com/SR?KeyWord=gowns&CatID=6005741%7cWedding+Shop&searchorigin=KeywordSearch) has some really sweet gowns. This one (http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/2914162?Category=&Search=True&SearchType=keywordsearch&keyword=gowns+in+Wedding+Shop&origin=searchresults) caught my eye (vaguely similar to my Mother-of-the-Bride dress when DD got married, though mine was in shades of blue):
http://a1216.g.akamai.net/f/1216/955/6h/images2.nordstrom.com/ImageGallery/store/Product/MediumLarge/2/_5289662.jpg

Congratulations to your son and of course you and your family too (and best wishes to the bride and family). What a wonderful, exciting time! :)

[Terri_A]

Melanie -

First, Congratulations! Second, I LOVE the tan dress that badunnin posted. I think it's young and fun and doesn't look "mother of the groom".

Congrats to your son!

[misskitty100]

May I make a suggestion regarding Nordstrom? Call the Charlotte store and ask to speak to their "personal shopper" and tell her what you are looking for. Some of the online dresses may not be stocked in a regular Nordstrom so if you are interested, have them order them into the store so you can try them on. In the meantime, the personal shopper can peruse what they have in stock at the store and hold onto that for you too.

BTW, there is no extra cost for using the services of Nordstrom personal shoppers.

P.S. I would also do that for the Atlanta store because they will have different dresses. I believe there is also a GREAT Nordstrom at Pentagon City if you have time to visit while in Wash D.C.

[tbb113]

Melanie - congratulations! :)

[Melman]

I love the suggestions for Nordstrum's. Since I have 2 trips coming up for Charlotte in the next couple of weeks, I may check out the store on the first trip...and then see about possibly some specific dresses from the website (or from other stores) for the second visit. Thanks for those great ideas.

I saw that red/burgundy one online as well...VERY pretty. They had some really pretty options.

If anyone knows of other fun stores like this...especially with really good websites.....please don't hesitate to share!

Thanks to everyone for all the congratulations. :D

[AzAnne]

Congrats! Very exciting :D
Coming from "mother of the groom" twice last year I can appreciate the matronly comments. Stuff that I found was either too old looking or as my daughter put it "hootchie momma" :p

I loved Nordstroms and found both dresses thru them.
We have one in Scottsdale, but when I call I found out that they don't "stock" all the dresses that they have on their site. What was truly wonderful is that I shopped from home, bought 6-8 dresses, tried them on in the privacy of my own home, had DD and DH give comments. What either didn't fit or "looked better on the model" I took back to the store. I could have shipped back, but since the store is relatively close what the heck. Shipping was only 5$ for all, not sure if that still applies.

Also, I recently saw some suitable wedding dressing on Coldwater Creek site.

Good dress finding vibs coming your way......... :)

[Melman]

Oh, I can so relate to the 'hootchie momma' comment!! I tried on two dresses last weekend at Dillard's. One was ok, but not quite the look I wanted. The other could have been perfect, but they forgot to include the fabric at the chest. The top stopped about mid-chest...which allowed for a lot of chest above the fabric. :o Not that I would EVER wear a top cut that low, but surely there's some rule that says the bride gets to show off the most cleavage that day. :D :D :D

Thanks for that valuable suggestion about ordering the dresses...and about returning them in person to the store. GREAT idea! I'll check out CWC too.

[tbb113]

Melanie - this is from Macys.com

http://www1.macys.com/catalog/product/index.ognc?ID=196596&CategoryID=22122

[MaryMac]

I liked the dresses from Nordstrom. This may be a stretch, but my friend works at Neiman-Marcus and right now their "elegant" dresses are 50% off and I heard from someone else that they go even lower. I'm not sure about the regular prices, but once it gets down below 50% that may not be too bad. Check to see where the Neiman-Marcus is when you get to Atlanta. Just a suggestion......

[Melman]

More good suggestions. :D I just came back from our mall, and I think my best bet is to just wait a couple of weeks. In the past week, the prom dress sections has about quadrupled in one store...maybe the "mother of the bride/groom" dresses will be putting out new items soon.

So far, I *THINK* I'd like to stay away from a dress with a jacket. I'd love to pull off a couple of those slightly drop-waist dresses...or the wrap ones. I found a couple of dresses online that are close to one of the colors I'd like to find...turquoise. The long one cost more than the wedding dress so it's definitely out :D(from the Neiman-Marcus site):

http://webpages.charter.net/melman/long-turquoise-dress.jpg

This one is from Nordstrum's...I love this color (but it's knee-length):
http://webpages.charter.net/melman/short-turquoise-dress.jpg

I haven't found anything close to a coral/melon/peach-colored dress in person or online...but I noticed there are all kinds of clothing out for the spring in those shades. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

Tyra, that's a pretty dress from Macy's. I was in their store tonight but only found the leftovers from Christmas. Of the few dresses they've put out that are new, I swear there's a black and red dress I owned about a dozen years ago that's on one of the maniquins!!! :eek: It's not a wedding-type dress but more of a dress for work. I almost gasped when I saw it.

As far as N-M is concerned, I know one of the "Last Call" stores is at Discover Mills in Atlanta. I noticed that's what they called the clearance section on the web. Good idea to keep an idea on their MARKED DOWN dresses (see dress above that cost more than the bride's dress.)

[misskitty100]

OMG!!! I LOVE the top dress you posted. It is gorgeous!!! You might end up stealing the spotlight from the bride if you wore that :D

[misskitty100]

Here is a website that might give you some more options: http://www.simplydresses.com/dresses-by-event/thumbs.cfm?cat=mother_of_bride


I haven't checked it out myself but looks like they have a lot of choices.

[BarbaraL]

No advice, but lots of congratulations. How exciting! Has the bride picked a color scheme? Does the mother of the bride have a color in mind for her dress? It would be nice to have a color that "goes" with the wedding party, if you find such a color that you like and suits you. I've heard that the mother of the groom should wear a different color than the mother of the bride - is that correct?

Hopefully the joke that the mother of the groom should "wear beige" is just that, a joke!

[BeachBum]

Hopefully the joke that the mother of the groom should "wear beige" is just that, a joke!

I think it is traditional that the MOG wear a champagne color, AKA beige. My MIL wore a champagne colored suit with rhinestone buttons and it was lovely.

[momqat]

Hopefully the joke that the mother of the groom should "wear beige" is just that, a joke!

I think it is traditional that the MOG wear a champagne color, AKA beige. My MIL wore a champagne colored suit with rhinestone buttons and it was lovely.
Interesting -- I've never heard that one.
At my daughter's wedding, the MoG wore a deep eggplant color -- very elegant.
And my own MIL wore a fire engine red dress :eek: at my wedding...
I don't recall any of the MoGs at any of the very many weddings I've attended over the years wear beige. The closest I can recall was the MoG at a friend's daughter's wedding who wore an ivory gown that was almost the same color as the bride's gown. Her gown was lovely but not very appropriate (in my mind) for her son's wedding -- I thought it kind of a tacky move, but maybe she was just doing the MoG beige thing. :confused:

[BarbaraL]

Actually, the entire joke, or saying or whatever that I've heard is that the mother of the groom should keep her mouth shut and wear beige. As in, stay out of the wedding planning and not wear something that will overshadow the bride or the mother of the bride (like maybe fire-engine red?). I'm not agreeing with this philosophy, jsut mentioning I've heard it said more than once.

Anyone see the CSI episode where the mother of the groom is murdered at the wedding? She (MoG) wore a white dress and made a toast in which she trashed the bride. She also insulted just about every guest or service person at the wedding, so everyone was a suspect!

[Melman]

I guess the customs are that the bride's family plans and pays for the majority of the wedding. The bride's mother gets to pick her dress first.

I happen to have the perfect setup. Neither the bride nor her mother have been very involved with planning weddings in the past. The bride has come to me to ask for suggestions, names, and general wedding advice. :D This is great! Plus, her mom asked if I'd picked my dress yet. That was the first she'd heard that she's supposed to pick her dress first. :D She told me to go ahead and start looking. The only thing she said is that she'd like to wear a long dress. That works for me. When I find the dress I like, I'll check with her to be sure she hasn't picked a similar color. Since I'd really like to find something in the turquoise or coral family, I really don't think she'll go that route.

For anyone who knows me, you know that I'm not wearing beige or trying to fade into the woodwork. :D I have no desire to outshine the bride or her mother, but I figure there won't be another chance where I get to be the third most important person at an event. :D I want to enjoy this and look appropriately attired...if the word "elegant" turns out to be a good description of my dress and appearance, all the better. (That definitely beats the heck out of "matronly" or "hootchie-mama".)

I showed the dresses suggested so far to the women in my office. They couldn't ooh and aah enough. I think the overwhelming thumbs-up is the first dress posted by Badunnin. :D

[avariell]

here is a completely off-the-wall idea..
my brother was married last june and my mom wore a light aqua suit from macys. it was absolutely elegant and lovely. i have no idea what type of body you have, but i was really happy my mom broke out of the same old mother of the groom/bride dresses and wore something really bright, classy and different. she really stood out but in a sophisticated way. she looked fine dancing but maybe not as swishy as you'd like :p :) she had the buttons changed on the suit to something gold and amber to "dress it up" a bit.
on the other hand, my mom wore a periwinkle dress from nordstrom's to my sister's wedding ~3.5 years ago and looked stunning. i do second all the opinions about using nordstrom's personal shopper service... my mom looked lovely and really she didn't spend that much more than she would have anywhere else.
congrats on the wedding and good luck with the planning :)

[LaraW]

Actually, the entire joke, or saying or whatever that I've heard is that the mother of the groom should keep her mouth shut and wear beige.

The joke that I've heard is that the MoG is supposed to "show up, shut up, and wear beige". My aunt joked about this b/c she was the mother of the bride, and SHE was wearing beige at my cousin's wedding. ;)

My mother has worn the same dress to my wedding and my 2 sisters' weddings. Another sister is getting married this summer. I wonder if she'll wear the same dress :rolleyes: We have joked about passing the wedding gown around too (there are 5 of us, 3 are married and 1 is getting married this summer)

Melanie, I love that purple wrap dress that badunnin posted.:)