Giving Notice advice, please!

[leebee]

Sorry for the length--this is a long and complicated situation!

My husband has just been offered a job, well, THE job. We've discussed it and are absolutely going to accept. It's going to be a fantastic opportunity for him and our family. So, here's our situation: His new employer is going to send out a release within days of him accepting (for a job that starts in June), which will likely get back to people associated w/ his present employer. Since he is a high-level employee, he also wants to give adequate notice and help them through the transition. In order to have this all work out, he needs to tell his boss within the next week (after we see the formal offer the new people are putting together). Further complicating things, one of his board members works in my department at my job. So, as soon as he tells them, someone at my job will know (although he is very discreet and private). AND, one of the organizations that my husband works with in the course of his work has a very gossipy co-worker of mine as a member--they will likely know within a week or so. And, for the icing on the cake: my boss is on maternity leave. Oh, wait: there are three people in my "departmentlet," including myself, and there have been rumors that the other two may be leaving this summer. So, what would you all do?

My husband suggested I call my boss on leave, then chat privately w/ our assistant manager. A friend said I should tell the assistant manager and let HR know (I'm least enthusiastic about that one!).

A couple of further notes: I'm not giving formal notice for quite some time, just a head's up to quell the gossip. I'm not worried about doing that--another person who works here did that months ago, and has suffered no ill treatment--our culture is such that they tend to work with us to make things run smoothly. I also want to do this in a responsible manner, since I could end up working freelance jobs for awhile.

Any sage advice?

[misskitty100]

Congrats to your DH and how wonderful for your whole family!!!

I assume you are moving out of the area - is that why YOU would be giving notice too?

How close are you to your boss? Is she a friend or just a boss? While she has been on leave, has she checked in? If she is occasionally checking in, I would mention to her that you will be leaving sometime in the summer and the reason why. If she is not in contact right now with work I don't think you need to tell anyone. Not sure what you do for work, but I doubt your company would start looking to replace you right away if you won't be gone until early summer so what difference would it make to them. If people want to gossip all you have to say is you haven't made a decision yet what YOU will be doing.... and leave it
at that for the time being.

I can't stand office gossips....

[leebee]

Congrats to your DH and how wonderful for your whole family!!!

I assume you are moving out of the area - is that why YOU would be giving notice too?

How close are you to your boss? Is she a friend or just a boss? While she has been on leave, has she checked in? If she is occasionally checking in, I would mention to her that you will be leaving sometime in the summer and the reason why. If she is not in contact right now with work I don't think you need to tell anyone. Not sure what you do for work, but I doubt your company would start looking to replace you right away if you won't be gone until early summer so what difference would it make to them. If people want to gossip all you have to say is you haven't made a decision yet what YOU will be doing.... and leave it
at that for the time being.

I can't stand office gossips....

Thank you for helping me think this through!

Yes, we'll be heading out of the area.

I am NOT close to my boss at all (she's not close to anyone but the couple of assistants in the department), and she doesn't really check in w/ anyone but her direct support staff as far as I know. As far as not looking to replace me, I think you are correct that they won't start looking. However, if the one employee in particular comes over and loudly proclaims, "Hey, what's this I hear about you leaving?" (and he WILL--he's a loudmouthed gossip!), it will make for bad feelings all around. I work on some pretty important things, so we'll need to have contingencies in place early. Plus, I'd like to get a jump on my two co-workers, just so I don't have to feel I'm abandoning anyone. I will, at the very least, talk to my assistant manager. I mostly wasn't sure how to handle the situation w/ my boss on leave. If the A.M. thinks I should give her a call, I will.

[DanaSD]

I would tell your boss. She can then advise you about HR but I don't think they need to know yet.

When I was pregnant I knew we would be moving sometime shortly after returning from my maternity leave (though I did plan on helping with my job while on leave and once returning up until we moved). I let my boss now a month before I went on leave. She was very appreciative that I let her know ahead of time. Also, because I gave her plenty of notice, they appreciated that and when I moved offered me the chance to continue my job working remotely (not something common at my company). I felt it was best to be honest early on and for my boss to hear it coming from me (instead of finding out from someone who saw the for sale sign on our house).

[rosen]

The important thing here is to not do anything at your office until your DH has accepted his new offer & his new company has accepted his acceptance. It very well may be that someone at your office will know before you are ready to tell them... but all you have to say to them is that all offers were/are still on the table. As soon as your DH is totally squared away is the time to drop the news at your office. As long as you let your office know as soon as you can (but no sooner), no one can say that you were hiding anything from them. Follow your current chain of command at your office. If word gets to HR before you do, it actually makes the tattle-tale look worse when you do go to your current boss & explain why things weren't announced earlier.

Good Luck & Congrats!

[Meganator]

Congratulations on your family's new situation. But I'm not sure I understand why you don't just give "formal" notice now. I don't think there's any rule that you have to wait until shortly before you leave to give formal notice. If it is right for the situation, then you can also tell in person the people you are close to or work closely with, but that doesn't have to be separate.

Are you afraid they are going to hire someone to replace you before you are ready to leave? I'm not sure why they would do that since they would then basically have to fire you in order to get you to leave earlier than you said you would. :confused:

Edited to add: maybe I didn't understand correctly, but if someone at DH's new job has some connection to your company, then your company could find out before DH has worked out all the details and accepted with the new company, which changes things on your end. But if all the commingle associations are among your company and DH's current company, then everyone can be told at once after DH has accepted the offer and the new company has accepted DH.

[Kristilyn1]

"Thank you for asking, yes my husband has accepted a position at XYZ Company, but it does not start until June. A lot can happen between now and then. I don't like to count my chickens before they are hatched, so that is why I'm not announcing my departure right this minute."

That way you don't have to worry about people having their friends come in and apply for your job and have them start thinking about getting rid of you or thinking of you as a total short-timer.

Kristi

[Debralynn]

I would give your notice as per your companys policy, if its 3 weeks, then I would WAIt and give three weeks notice. People gossip, don't let thm pressure you into giving notice now. Your compnay may not be as nice to you as they were to previous employees leaving, especially if several of you are leaving this summer. They may ask you to leave early! I have seen it happen. I would NOT call your boss at home while they are on leave, thats a no no. No matter how "CLOSE" you are. Go to HR when its 3 weeks before the day that YOU want to leave. You can submit a letter of resignation and never discuss it with anyone. You may screw yourself out of vacation time, personal days, Trust me I have seen this happen sooo many times. No matter how good your relationship is with your company, the fact is YOU ARE LEAVING. Be very careful. If people gossip, and they will, keep them ALL guessing. Play by your rules!!!!!!!!!
Good luck. - Debbie

[leebee]

Thanks for all the advice. I realize it's hard to understand. DH got the formal offer in the mail today, has signed & faxed it back. It's a done deal--the job was basically created for him. They just got the funding recently and conducted the interview (but it was very clear who was interviewing whom - and he was the only candidate, too). We will be leaving.

The reasons I want to give a head's up are to 1. be pre-emptive about the news since it'll get around, 2. be helpful about seeing what we need to do to get a replacement (I have projects I'm working on that will be going on come June), 3. get a jump on my two co-workers (the ones who do the same thing I do and on a total fluke, also may be leaving.) The gossipy, loud guy isn't just an employee--he's a long-term, respected department director (his loud mouth serves him well in his job). The guy who is on DH's board is an entity vice president/director, and works closely with my department. I cannot go until June to let anyone know. And, we have a house to sell, so if it doesn't sell, I'm prepared to hang out until Sept, so I don't want to give formal notice now.

Honestly, we have a great culture here. We've got a team member who will be leaving for a new opportunity as soon as his home sells. He made the announcement months ago, and is hanging out whenever. Like him, I'll have no trouble committing to my work. I believe in this company and am very happy in my work. I cannot imagine working in an atmosphere where there are well-respected, reliable people I see every day who will KNOW I'm leaving (they know my DH is my DH), and not at least say something. It might not be the norm, but then I'm counting on some pretty darn good recs from some high-level people here. It will not create the kind of atmosphere we strive for here to keep it a secret from those that need to know. I'm not thinking of a huge broadcast of it, but if loudmouth says something to the A.M., I'd like her to not feel blindsided. It's just a product of our company culture, I realize, and may not translate to those of others.

Thanks for your continued replies. I appreciate all of your words.

[rosen]

Oh! So DH is a done deal & you have an excellent culture at work. So go to your current (on site) boss & lay your cards on the table. They have kept on others long term knowing they were leaving... they know you have projects that need to be taken care of... you are on good terms w/ everyone... so get in there & be honest. Have the others that are hinting that they, too are leaving this summer put in their notice? Or is that more gossip? If they haven't put in notice... better you be the first. If you are the last, it may cause policy to change in that they will see that they have to have a less lax leaving policy. Are you prepared to leave earlier than you plan to if they feel they need to hire sooner rather than later? The worst that can happen to you is that they ask you to leave as soon as they can hire your replacement.

[Kristilyn1]

Thanks for all the advice. I realize it's hard to understand. DH got the formal offer in the mail today, has signed & faxed it back. It's a done deal--the job was basically created for him. .


I don't know about the state you are ending up in, but here in NH--a signed formal offer means jack. They can rescind it at any time with very little in the way of recourse. Not that I would expect that to happen in your case, but I'd still be wary of protecting your backside. It's nice that you want to be helpful, but don't you think even April would be going above and beyond what could possibly be expected in terms of notice? I realize that the culture says it's not likely, but when my old company was doing a layoff and they basically had to lay off a certain number of bodies--while I was not on the original list, when they found out that my husband was likely accepting a job out of state.....guess who's name ended up on the list? A move wasn't the best time for me to be out of work for two months. It's not like I could find a job that would last 6 weeks. Yes, the time off was nice, but even with the generous relocation package we got, it was still a little bit of a bummer financially.

Kristi

[leebee]

I don't know about the state you are ending up in, but here in NH--a signed formal offer means jack. They can rescind it at any time with very little in the way of recourse. Not that I would expect that to happen in your case, but I'd still be wary of protecting your backside. It's nice that you want to be helpful, but don't you think even April would be going above and beyond what could possibly be expected in terms of notice? I realize that the culture says it's not likely, but when my old company was doing a layoff and they basically had to lay off a certain number of bodies--while I was not on the original list, when they found out that my husband was likely accepting a job out of state.....guess who's name ended up on the list? A move wasn't the best time for me to be out of work for two months. It's not like I could find a job that would last 6 weeks. Yes, the time off was nice, but even with the generous relocation package we got, it was still a little bit of a bummer financially.

Kristi

Thanks for your concern, and I'm sorry about your experience, but this doesn't apply to us. My husband is taking a job that has been designed with him in mind, and there is a grant to fund the first three years which is already in the bank. It's at a university, so it's not a fly-by-night. There is a an announcement that is going out on Monday afternoon, saying how happy they are to have DH & me (both alums), and our beautiful family coming back to roost. It's a sure bet that it will reach several of the people we both work with in a short period of time, for a variety of reasons. My husband is a museum director, so it's a specialized position - and this is for a brand new museum. The job never existed before. It only became available because of the donor and a brand-spanking new endowment. This is a big deal, and isn't going away (it took them too long to get here--they're not giving up on it now). He HAS to give notice because the search to replace him will take three months minimum.

As far as me, we're heading into our busy season, growth is exceeding target and we're doing more work than we can keep up with. Things are rosy, here. In fact, we're looking at adding another person to our team. And, I think it's more likely that'd I'd be cast in disfavorable light if I didn't say something. Again, they will know I'm leaving. For my company, and my position, it will be the right thing to do. Especially since my boss is on leave--we're already short-handed. I am a writer, one of three at my company. One of my co-workers just announced her engagement, w/ a wedding date on July 4. She doesn't know yet where she'll be living. My other co-worker has a 50/50 shot at a job of a lifetime for her, is just waiting to see if funding comes through. So, if I let everyone know ahead, I have a better chance of coming out looking good, which is, honestly, important to me. We also like to hire from within, so it would be nice to be able to train my replacement, who could stay on the clock while we worked together. We wouldn't have to hire someone to either start before I go, or have them jump in without training. I've given this a lot of thought. I have a tremendous amount of company loyalty--they've brainwashed me well!