Love and Logic Parenting

[LaraW]

I got a book from the library called "Parenting with Love and Logic". I actually checked it out and read it several months ago, but DH didn't have time to read it during the period of time we had it from the library.

I'm curious to hear if anyone has used this parenting technique with their kids, and whether you felt it is/was a good philosophy.

[beacooker]

Its been a while since I read the book so maybe I'm forgetting lots of parts of it, but my reaction to it was, how else would you parent your kids, aside from letting them experience the natural consequences to their actions (of course, softened in cases where the natural consequence would just be too harsh)? Unless you want to be one of those parents who drives themselves crazy, shielding their little prince/princess from the big bad world, only to have them not be able to cope with the real world as adults.

So, yes, I agree very much with their philosophy, and have found natural consequences to be the best way to teach my kids. Its the way my mom raised us, and the best parenting advice I ever got was from her, when my then infant son was playing in the backyard one day, and eating dirt. I started fussing at him to stop, and she told me to just let him, because soon enough he would figure out on his own that dirt doesn't taste good. And he did! No need for a power struggle. I remember that advice often, and have applied it to many different situations.

[clairea]

I think it is an excellent book. I agree that it is largely common sense, but sometimes it helps to be reminded even of common sense. I have read it, and also "Love and Logic in the Classroom" when I was teaching preschool.

That said, I think the most important thing to remember is that kinds are all different, and no one book or approach is the answer for every child, but there are important lessons to take from most of them. I have one child for whom the "natural consequences" approach often just does not work (he'll just keep on going no matter what happens) so I have to step in and impose some "unnatural" consequences of my own. I used to drive myself crazy trying to make sure that these consequences were always related to the "crime", but then we would just get into a situation where he felt that I was being unfair (and I was often struggling to come up with something). For him, I now just have set consequences no matter what he has done (unless it is something really major). From what I recall of the book this wouldn't fit with what they recommend, but on the other hand it is the most loving and logical thing we could come up with, and has reduced everyone's stress level tremendously. I found the same thing teaching -- some kids respond really well on their own to natural consequences, and other kids need a little more guidance and direction ;) to help make the right choices.

[jjsooner73]

I know that as a teacher, I really like the Love and Logic approach. I try to use a lot of his ideas in my classroom.