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barbara-cook
03-13-2007, 02:12 PM
My parents are in their mid-80's, so they've been around a long time and are a bit set in their ways (after that many years, who wouldn't be, right?).

Anyway, I'm 50 and it drives me absolutely INSANE when I tell my mom I did or said something, and she answers me with "good girl". Does anyone else my age get something from their folks that drives them nuts?

I was over to their house today helping them do their spring cleaning and my mom must have said it three times or more when I told her that I had finished with something. Finally I said to her "Mom, I really would like it if you would stop saying that to me. It makes me feel like I'm 10 years old." I could tell she was a bit miffed. "Well, once a child, always a child", she replied. I said "yeah, but I'm not a ten-year-old child. So please. Just stop saying it."

I'm sure I hurt her feelings a little, but I just couldn't stand to hear it one more time. I'm quite sure she doesn't say something similar to my older brother! "Good boy!" Yeah, that would fly!

Another thing she likes to say is when we're parting company, she'll say "now be good!" I want to ask her "at what?" but haven't dared yet.

Anyway, I was just wondering if anyone else out there has a parent or two that says annoying stuff over and over, what is/was it, and if you got them to stop, how did you do it?

Jezebelly
03-13-2007, 02:20 PM
It's a shorter list to talk about things my mother said that DON'T drive me nuts.

sparrowgrass
03-13-2007, 02:23 PM
My dad used to do a couple of things that made me crazy, but now I would give anything just have him back to annoy me again.:o

Enjoy them while you have them--don't let the little things bug you.

Miss Giggles
03-13-2007, 02:23 PM
Mine too.

I'm younger than you but that means I have to put up with it or ignore the comments for more years :(

barbara-cook
03-13-2007, 02:24 PM
Well, I could put together a really long list, epecially if my husband were here helping me. She just says stuff that most people would not say without really thinking about it. Sometimes she just says the strangest stuff and I know for a fact that a lot of people take it wrong. But if I told her not to say anything to anyone, well, I think she would be genuinely ticked off. She comes off as sounding silly sometimes and really snooty other times.

My sister and my neice could probably add to that list as well. A lot.

It's just this "good girl" nonsense has gotten to me lately. Sorry Mom, but it bugs me.

Anyone else?

Jezebelly
03-13-2007, 02:27 PM
Hi Mom, how're you?



Why don't you do something with yourself? Put on a little makeup. You could look so nice.

You wear too much makeup, you look like a prostitute.

tamawrite
03-13-2007, 02:30 PM
My mom always starts our phone conversations (or messages) with "Hi, Kiddo!" I'm 28. Drives me nuts. :mad: :rolleyes:

Krysia1031
03-13-2007, 02:30 PM
Barbara, I am in the same boat. While I love my mom dearly, she says the strangest things sometimes and it drives me nuts. Ex: When my DH & I told my mom I was pregnant (1st grandchild in the family), you would think she would be excited and happy for us. What does she say..."Well, if this is what you want than I guess I'm happy for you". I almost lost it. :eek: I mean I'm wasn't asking her to jump up for joy or anything, but was that all she could really come up with? SHEESH!
Its like she has these little comments and maybe she doesn't know that they hurt my feelings, but I hate to say something becasue I know she will get mad. Oh, what to do...what to do...:(

Kevlar
03-13-2007, 02:34 PM
My mom used to HMMPH! loudly in the movies when there was a sexy scene. We laugh about it a lot and still do it in her memory.

Jezebelly
03-13-2007, 02:37 PM
OMG! My mom would steal condiments too. Ketchup packets, salt packets, sporks, wet naps, napkins, straws, jelly squares! She'd practically rob KFC blind!

I hated it then, but think it's pretty funny now.

beacooker
03-13-2007, 02:41 PM
Barbara, I am in the same boat. While I love my mom dearly, she says the strangest things sometimes and it drives me nuts. Ex: When my DH & I told my mom I was pregnant (1st grandchild in the family), you would think she would be excited and happy for us. What does she say..."Well, if this is what you want than I guess I'm happy for you". I almost lost it. :eek: I mean I'm wasn't asking her to jump up for joy or anything, but was that all she could really come up with? SHEESH!
Its like she has these little comments and maybe she doesn't know that they hurt my feelings, but I hate to say something becasue I know she will get mad. Oh, what to do...what to do...:(

Krysia, when I told my parents about my first pregnancy, her reaction was very similar to that. I asked her about it later (months later, and by that time she really was happy about the pregnancy), and she told me it was because she knew how hard pregnancy, giving birth and being a parent are, and it was hard for her to think of 'her baby' going through it. I would cut your mom some slack for the remark - the news is huge, and will totally change your relationship with your parents forever (even if in a positive way).

Barbara-cook, your mother telling you 'Good girl' and 'be good' is pretty outrageous! That would drive me bonkers, too!

barbara-cook
03-13-2007, 02:43 PM
Sparrowgrass - yep, I know what you're saying. That day will come and I will miss them both terribly, I know.


Krysia1031 - That is a pretty strange thing to say when your daughter tells you that she is pregnant. I would expect something more along the lines of "wow, that's great! I'm so happy!

Another thing my mom said that still sticks with me is after I started my own business two years ago she said that she was really surprised that I was doing so well. Like she was surprised I wasn't failing. Gosh, Mom, sorry to let you know there!

Kevlar - I love it! I got a great laugh out of that. Kinda reminds me of something my grandmother (yes, my Mom's Mom) would do, IF she ever went to a movie! Doubt that.

Thanks everyone, for the chuckles and laughs here.

ErinM
03-13-2007, 03:03 PM
Only thing that my mom says that drives me crazy is "Be that as it may or may that as it be". Killed me just to type it. What does that even MEAN???

Sometimes mom'll bust on with something that is totally her mother, which makes both of us laugh to no end.

Mom still calls me kiddo (sometimes, not often) or "peanut", but never really in conversation.

And I've picked up the best of my mom's "momisms", and use them regularly on the dog:

"Would you like to live to see your next birthday?"

"If you like life as you now lead it, you'll quit that"

God help me when I have kids!

Krysia1031
03-13-2007, 03:06 PM
My mom used to HMMPH! loudly in the movies when there was a sexy scene. We laugh about it a lot and still do it in her memory.

LOL!!! My mom still changes the channel when there is a sex scene on!! Too funny. :D

LaraW
03-13-2007, 03:11 PM
My FIL says a lot of things that really bug me. He refers to us as "kids" which I guess is OK but he acts like he's in some position of authority. As in, leaving a message on our VM: "Hey, Kids - this is the Father Figure. We wondered where you wanted to go to dinner on Friday night". Blech. This was an actual message, and this was the invitation to dinner. No asking whether we were available, whether we wanted to go, etc.

The thing that MIL says a lot that bugs me a lot is for the last 3 years (since DD was born) she has said: "you have to put her in the car seat every time you get in the car? What if you're just going to the grocery store? When our kids were young, we just put them in a cardboard box on the floor of the passenger seat." She says it in this incredulous voice every time. Then she wonders why we don't let them drive our kids places :rolleyes: Um, because the way you talk, I think you might put my kid in a cardboard box! :eek:

I have to laugh at just typing out the cardboard box thing. Its so ridiculous, yet it is a point of conversation EVERY TIME they come to visit us.

DeeK
03-13-2007, 03:20 PM
Ex: When my DH & I told my mom I was pregnant (1st grandchild in the family), you would think she would be excited and happy for us. What does she say..."Well, if this is what you want than I guess I'm happy for you".(

That is similar to what my mom said when I told her that DH and I were getting married. Her comment, "what are you, nuts?" :eek: :(

Krysia1031
03-13-2007, 03:24 PM
That is similar to what my mom said when I told her that DH and I were getting married. Her comment, "what are you, nuts?" :eek: :(

Oh then, you'll love this. My mom's comment about getting married.."What...(Pause)...but you aren't even going steady yet?" By the way, we were engaged in late 2000.

BucknellAlum
03-13-2007, 03:34 PM
The thing that MIL says a lot that bugs me a lot is for the last 3 years (since DD was born) she has said: "you have to put her in the car seat every time you get in the car? What if you're just going to the grocery store? When our kids were young, we just put them in a cardboard box on the floor of the passenger seat." She says it in this incredulous voice every time. Then she wonders why we don't let them drive our kids places :rolleyes: Um, because the way you talk, I think you might put my kid in a cardboard box! :eek:

I have to laugh at just typing out the cardboard box thing. Its so ridiculous, yet it is a point of conversation EVERY TIME they come to visit us.

This bugs me as my MIL says similar things about car seats, bike helmets, not eating raw egg, etc. She always says, "we didn't have car seats and you all were fine."

I have actually said to her, "well, not EVERY kid was fine, you know, unfortunately many were killed in car accidents."

I don't know how to explain that, while there are plenty of situations in which I "play the odds," doing so when my kids' lives are at stake is unacceptable.

I would tell MIL that you only buckle DD in the car seat on the trips when you don't want her hurt. ;)

little_bopeep
03-13-2007, 03:47 PM
My mom always starts our phone conversations (or messages) with "Hi, Kiddo!" I'm 28. Drives me nuts. :mad: :rolleyes:

When we were first dating, DH used to call me that. I put an end to it real quickly since he called his cat the same thing. :rolleyes:

Robyn1007
03-13-2007, 03:48 PM
My mom has a bad habit of always giving advice. She always thinks she needs to fix a situation and forgets to listen.

My grandmother was a piece of work though. Some of the biggest things she did to drive us all crazy were in restaurants. If we sat down at a table that wobbled she would use sugar packets or folded napkins to steady it. When we paid for the meal by credit card she would insist on staying until the server picked up the signed receipt or she would hunt them down to give it to them.

sneezles
03-13-2007, 03:52 PM
I thought I would have tons to add to this list but I guess it's been too long now.

However, I'm sure my sons could add a few! :p

While I don't say "be good" (as in please for god's sake don't do anything you'll get arrested for!), I do say "don't be stupid" (meaning the same thing but with a bit more honesty! :p ).

RunnerKim
03-13-2007, 03:54 PM
Barbara-cook maybe you could leave this article laying around the next time you visit. How NOt to Praise Your Kids (http://nymag.com/news/features/27840/) or maybe Alfie Kohn's article might be a bit more direct 5 Reasons to Stop Saying Good Job (http://www.alfiekohn.org/parenting/gj.htm)

Of course these are already one step removed from the "Good Girl/Boy" praise so she might not get the hint.

Kim

colleency
03-13-2007, 03:56 PM
My mom knows where I keep my buttons!

We just had a discussion the other day about how I have to be careful to be in a good mood when I call her. If she's in pain (which she frequently is), she tends to try to poke my buttons. If I'm emotionally low, she can usually make me cry. It's a good thing that I understand about the pain!

stefania4
03-13-2007, 04:03 PM
My mom has a bad habit of always giving advice. She always thinks she needs to fix a situation and forgets to listen.


I gave up giving unsolicited advice for Lent. It's horrifying how many times I've had to catch myself; probably a good lesson!

Mom doesn't have a particular catch-phrase that I can think of, it's more that she has planned all events to the T and expects everyone to joyfully comply - and becomes very pouty/aggrieved when reality (like late flights, or having to work) intrude on her plans.

Grace
03-13-2007, 04:04 PM
My Mom ALWAYS asks me, whenever I get her on the phone and say "hello" (whether I call her or she calls me), "Are you OK?" In a very worried, scared voice. DRIVES ME BESERK!!! Why is the assumption that something MUST be wrong? She says it's the tone of my voice when I say "hello" that leads her to believe something must be wrong. But after YEARS of this same tone, and she asking me if I'm ok, and I exasperatedly telling her I'M FINE, MOTHER! that she would get the idea. And even when I tell her I'm fine, she's not convinced. So the first 2 minutes of all our conversations are of me trying to convince her that nothing is wrong. :rolleyes: The worst is when she doesn't believe me! And then I get this guilty feeling like someone who's been caught in a lie, but I'm not even lying! It's pathetic. I have told her not to do this, but as with everyone else's mother it seems, she just gets upset and tells me it's her job as a mother to worry about me. BIG :rolleyes: I'm 43 and she wasn't worried about me when I was 10, so why now? :rolleyes: And why do I have to feel like I have to PROVE to her all the time that I'm not lying, and everything's just fine? Did I say :rolleyes: ? :rolleyes:

Oh, and when she leaves me messages on my answering machine, she calls me "sweetness". BLECH!!!! I HATE that! Makes my skin crawl. My own husband doesn't even call me honey. I hate those kinds of names, and she never called me anything like that when I was a kid, so I don't know why she calls me that now..... I guess I should be glad - she could call me something nasty I guess, but for whatever reason I can't stand it when she says that.

funnybone
03-13-2007, 04:09 PM
I can't think of a phrase in particular, but one thing that bugs me about MIL is that if FIL starts telling a story, she has to talk over him with her own version of the story. They just both continue talking like that. :rolleyes: 95% if the time, it's a story they already told us the last time we saw them (and we only see them a couple of times a year). Also, she tends to be repetative. In one sentence she will say something, and the next sentence, she says it again. My mom repeats herself too at times, but not as much as MIL.

Jalapeno
03-13-2007, 05:14 PM
I KNEW THAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN!!

No matter what it is she knew it was going to happen you'd think the woman was a psychic! :rolleyes: :D

rosen
03-13-2007, 05:18 PM
Never fails. For the last 25 years, each and every time we go to visit. Whatever the circumstances or the situation... "Your brother is sooooo busy". Said w/ a huge sighhhhhhhhhh.

They are elderly & not in good health. We love it when they say this 'cause it means that all is ok for now...

If my mom called me a "good girl", my reply would be, "you're right! I am!"

They know where all our buttons are because they installed them! ;)

mishquilt
03-13-2007, 05:19 PM
My mother starts every sentence with
"The only other thing I could tell you is...."

and this leads me to believe that
(1) there are forty million "only other things"
and
(2) she thinks I want her advice.



We have also learned never to mention the word "microwave" in her presence. Since the late 70's she has felt the need to respond with "you know it cooks from the inside out."

Despite the quirks, I love her dearly. She has "strongly encouraged" her religious views on me for so long that I started calling her "Father Mother."


Mishquilt

memartha
03-13-2007, 05:31 PM
My parents are both gone (too early) and I do miss them, but they had some doozies as well. My Dad called me "tillie" until the day he died. Don't know where it came from, but I didn't like it. My mom used to annoy me by asking how old my kids were (they were her only grandkids). Then we found out she had Alzheimers, so I had to forgive her.

Lara and Bucknell Alum's postings reminded me of two incidents. One, I was telling my parents something about salmonella (from raw chicken or eggs) in the news and they said, "Oh, that doesn't affect us." (they lived in Florida, where there was never any salmonella, apparently)

Also, when I brought DS for a visit, he was a toddler, and I asked my parents to keep the sliding glass doors that lead to the pool closed. (they could just step out from 3 different rooms of the house to the deck and pool, all on the same level, enclosed.. you know that kind of setup in Florida?). Anyhow, my dad said, "We like the breeze, but I'll keep the blinds closed so he can't get out." As if vertical blinds are going to prevent a 2 year old from toddling right into the pool area. AAAAAAAHHHHHH.

HejazSunKat
03-13-2007, 05:43 PM
Ok, I'm laughing at all of the things that drive all of you crazy because to me, who isn't in the relationship, they sound pretty much like um, nothing. Weird how the simplest things when tied up in the loaded angst of the parent/child relationship will drive us to distraction. It wasn't my mother who drove me crazy but my Dad. Every time I had a car problem the first thing he'd say would be "Is there any gas in it?" I have never, ever run out of gas so it drove me mad that he thought I was too stoopid to look at the gas gauge. When my DH (then boyfriend) and I bought our house his reaction was: "Well, if it doesn't work out you can move in here." Like we couldn't possibly be responsible enough to pay a mortgage. You know, he meant well even if he never phrased it right and I would certainly give anything to have him back again, as well as my Mom, driving me nutty.

JKG
03-13-2007, 06:04 PM
My Mom ALWAYS asks me, whenever I get her on the phone and say "hello" (whether I call her or she calls me), "Are you OK?" In a very worried, scared voice. DRIVES ME BESERK!!! Why is the assumption that something MUST be wrong? She says it's the tone of my voice when I say "hello" that leads her to believe something must be wrong. But after YEARS of this same tone, and she asking me if I'm ok, and I exasperatedly telling her I'M FINE, MOTHER! that she would get the idea. And even when I tell her I'm fine, she's not convinced. So the first 2 minutes of all our conversations are of me trying to convince her that nothing is wrong. :rolleyes: The worst is when she doesn't believe me! And then I get this guilty feeling like someone who's been caught in a lie, but I'm not even lying! It's pathetic. I have told her not to do this, but as with everyone else's mother it seems, she just gets upset and tells me it's her job as a mother to worry about me. BIG :rolleyes: I'm 43 and she wasn't worried about me when I was 10, so why now? :rolleyes: And why do I have to feel like I have to PROVE to her all the time that I'm not lying, and everything's just fine? Did I say :rolleyes: ? :rolleyes:

Oh, and when she leaves me messages on my answering machine, she calls me "sweetness". BLECH!!!! I HATE that! Makes my skin crawl. My own husband doesn't even call me honey. I hate those kinds of names, and she never called me anything like that when I was a kid, so I don't know why she calls me that now..... I guess I should be glad - she could call me something nasty I guess, but for whatever reason I can't stand it when she says that.


we must have the same mother. she ALWAYS assumes something's wrong with me as soon as I answer the phone. the only thing that's wrong is that I know she's going to ask "what's wrong" !!

and we she leaves a message on the answering machine she says "hey sunshine" that drives me crazy.

Deb67
03-13-2007, 06:26 PM
My Mom and Dad have been like Archie and Edith Bunker from 'All in the Family' since I was a kid. My Dad is particularly grumpy. Almost every time I see my Mom she says optimistically "oh, he's getting better" I dont say anything in response because for over 30 years 'he's been getting better!' I love the hope she has, but unless the Good Lord intervenes he's not getting better! (I say that optimistically because I do believe in miracles!)

Chefzhat
03-13-2007, 06:42 PM
It's not so much what she says to me, but how she butchers store names. K-Mart and WalMart? Kmark and Walmark. And she pronounces "antique" as "aunti-cue". She thinks she's being cute. :)

TKay
03-13-2007, 06:42 PM
Oh, my gosh! I am laughing at these. I can really relate to some of them. My parents are both gone now (also way too young), but there is one thing my mom used to say to me that drove me nuts. If I was in a bad mood or sad or angry, she'd say, "Where'd my sweet girl go?" Uh, she's right here. I'm the same person I've always been. I just have an EMOTION.
I have to stop myself from saying stuff like this to my kids. In fact, I find myself BEING my mother so often. When we watch home videos, I ALWAYS look like my mom. I smoothly flow in and out of whatever activity we're filming (usually the kids doing something) just like my mom did. Oftentimes, you'll see my hand reach in to light the birthday candles or serve the ice cream and my arm looks and moves exactly like my mother's did. It's crazy.
Now my Dad! He used to talk to us like we were the lamest people ever born. I'd tell him something and he'd give me the most basic advice. Like if I told him I passed out, he would say, "Well, were you BREATHING?" :D

It's funny how after they're gone, the things that drive you nuts are sort of endearing. We all know that's because we don't have to hear them anymore!

Robyn1007
03-13-2007, 06:54 PM
My Dad called me "tillie" until the day I died.

I'm guessing you meant until the day he died? I'm hoping you're not dead yet...:p

leightx
03-13-2007, 06:59 PM
I love my mom dearly, but for about the last 20 years, she has never failed to mention whenever we spoke to her that she was on the verge of losing her job and was either going to be laid off or fired probably next week. It became a joke among DH and I, and our close friends who knew her. Everyone would always ask me how she was doing, and if she had been fired yet. :D

Surprisingly, she never was fired, and she miraculously survived every round of layoffs, was promoted many times, and finally retired last year. And the entire family breathed a huge sigh of relief. I almost miss the lack of job angst now. ;) :rolleyes:

stefania4
03-13-2007, 07:11 PM
These are great!

My great-aunt, every night, "didn't sleep a wink. Not one." From 1956 to the day she died.

Grace, my grandmother probes every area of my life until she finds something "wrong." True conversation, from when my apartment complex was freshening the paint lines in the parking lot:

Gma: And your health? Everything's OK?
Me: Yup. I'm fine. How are things up there?
Gma: And your job? Any layoffs? Any travel coming up? Any problems?
Me: My job is great.
Me: ACHOO
Gma: What? What was that??? [accusingly] YOU SAID YOU WERE FINE AND YOU'RE SICK. What's going on and why won't you tell me???
Me: I sneezed. They're painting outside and the fumes make me sneeze.
Gma: I see. [long pause] Painting over graffiti? Stephanie, are you safe?

@#!$@!#$*

Then Mom called and said "Grandma said you said you were fine, but she's not so sure..." I told Mom I WAS fine when we started the conversation, but I was thoroughly hacked off at the end!

Cookin4Love
03-13-2007, 09:47 PM
My mom just talks about poo a lot. I hear about hers, my dad's, and my invalid uncle's for whom she is caring. I know color, texture, shape, how often, and how much. I don't know what the fixation is, but it drives me absolutely nuts.

The other thing she does is, whenever she calls my cell phone, she says, "Where is you?" as soon as I answer the phone. Not "Where are you?" which would be bad enough. No. It's always "Where is you?" Ack!

Cookin4Love
03-13-2007, 09:54 PM
OMG! My mom would steal condiments too. Ketchup packets, salt packets, sporks, wet naps, napkins, straws, jelly squares! She'd practically rob KFC blind!

I hated it then, but think it's pretty funny now.

OMG! Mine, too. Her thinking: "They wouldn't put them out there if they didn't want you to take them." Even at 47, I'm mortified to go into a convenience store with her, where she'll buy a cup of coffee and load up her purse and pockets with condiment packets! :eek:

LaraW
03-13-2007, 10:37 PM
DH reminded me of another one. When DS was born, we had called our parents to tell them that he had arrived, and MIL's reaction was...

"Well what were your reasons for picking THOSE NAMES?"

:rolleyes:

Sheesh. Isn't the fact that he is healthy enough? We named him a very normal name, not something totally weird.

LonghornGal
03-13-2007, 10:52 PM
Hilarious!

My mom has this delayed subconsious response, where it seems like she doesn't listen to what you're saying. Sample conversation:

Me: The rain is supposed to stop before the BBQ Thursday.
Mom: good.
...5 minutes and 2 conversation topics later...
Mom: I think the rain is supposed to stop before the BBQ on Thursday.
Me: (trying to restrain the rude noise I want to make) That's good.

It's like the statement has to bounce around in her brain and come back out before it's retained. Honestly.

I was on vacation with her and after 4 days of biting my tongue asked her if she was aware that she did this. She said, "Yes, I try hard at work not to so that I don't sound spacey."

--LHG

Peggy
03-13-2007, 11:15 PM
My mother doesn't steal condiments but she HATES to waste ANYTHING. At a restaurant she has been known to take home the empty foil butter wrappers. She saves them in her refrigerator and uses them to grease her loaf pans.:rolleyes:

And I'll never forget when my DD came home from a sleepover at my parent's house. She was about 4 years old at the time and my mom taught her a life changing lesson on using the correct amount of toilet paper... She informed me, "Grammy says you can only use two squares for #1 and four squares for #2".:rolleyes: :o

And speaking of toilet paper... In high school my friends and I were always out TP'ing house on the weekends. When it was my turn to get TP'ed, she would make me go outside the next day and collect all of the strips of toilet paper in large grocery bags. She would put them in our bathroom and tell us we needed to use it. :eek: I am not kidding!!! We never did but we did endure the lectures about wastefulness.

Peggy

kwormann
03-14-2007, 05:35 AM
"Be careful"

Im 36 years old! She says it if I say "Im going out for a run now"

Drives me crazy!

Another one is her obsession with the weather - always negative too. If something is planned, "well, it might rain..." It ALSO might NOT :) THINK POSITIVE :)

cumulus
03-14-2007, 05:37 AM
Hilarious!

My mom has this delayed subconsious response, where it seems like she doesn't listen to what you're saying. Sample conversation:

Me: The rain is supposed to stop before the BBQ Thursday.
Mom: good.
...5 minutes and 2 conversation topics later...
Mom: I think the rain is supposed to stop before the BBQ on Thursday.
Me: (trying to restrain the rude noise I want to make) That's good.

It's like the statement has to bounce around in her brain and come back out before it's retained. Honestly.

I was on vacation with her and after 4 days of biting my tongue asked her if she was aware that she did this. She said, "Yes, I try hard at work not to so that I don't sound spacey."

--LHG


Snort! DBF's dad is somewhat like this. He'll talk to DBF for 30 min (the man could talk forever- he's like a running Seinfeld episode, but without the jokes...). Any of the questions the DBF does answer, he'll reiterate back to me, as if I had never heard DBF's responses before.

Him: You know DBF has a final tomorrow. (Just learned this, I've know for weeks).
Me: Yep.
Him: Are you going to make him dinner? I want to be sure he's comfortable and relaxed going into it. No stress. (DBF just told him about how I've been making him treats and dinner all week because he hasn't had time to do it himself).
Me: I planned on it, he asked for pork on the grill.
Him: He really likes steak. (We bought pork, he knew that)
Me: We're having pork.
Him: Steak is good for memory, it might be better before his exam. (Who comes up with this crap?)

He'll proceed to talk to me for at least 30 min as well. Typically, we set the cell phone down on the table with the speaker on and periodically "uh-huh" to his ramblings.

My parents, on the other hand, are reasonably well behaved. They just feature some of the classics mentioned above.

Lauren
03-14-2007, 06:07 AM
A little off topic. It's not that my Mom has funny sayings, but she frequently says something I find hurtful. I know she doesn't mean to hurt me, but tends to make comments that are a little insensitive. She also tends to be very critical. Just recently she does this to my 16 yo ... you need a haircut, your side burns are too long, are you washing your face because you have pimples, blah, blah. :confused:

sparrowgrass
03-14-2007, 06:42 AM
Hilarious!

My mom has this delayed subconsious response, where it seems like she doesn't listen to what you're saying. Sample conversation:

Me: The rain is supposed to stop before the BBQ Thursday.
Mom: good.
...5 minutes and 2 conversation topics later...
Mom: I think the rain is supposed to stop before the BBQ on Thursday.
Me: (trying to restrain the rude noise I want to make) That's good.

It's like the statement has to bounce around in her brain and come back out before it's retained. Honestly.

I was on vacation with her and after 4 days of biting my tongue asked her if she was aware that she did this. She said, "Yes, I try hard at work not to so that I don't sound spacey."

--LHG

My mom does the same thing. She also has long internal conversations with herself, and sometimes, she brings you into the middle of them.

We will be working on something quietly, or driving along, listening to the radio, and all of a sudden. . . .

Mom: "Well, I think she did it because he was out of town so much."

Me: "Who? Who did what?"

Mom: "Oh, you know, that redheaded girl."

And on and on, til I finally figure out it is something that she saw on the local news, or something a neighbor told her, or something that happened 50 years ago.

My sister and I joke about how she is often on another page. Or another chapter. Or a whole 'nother book.

However, the other joke is that we will never know when to put her in the home, because she has always been that way.

Doesn't bug me, usually. Mostly it cracks me up.

funnybone
03-14-2007, 06:51 AM
One thing my MIL loves to do is play the martyr. :rolleyes: While we were on our trip and they came to stay with the boys (who are 12 and 15), she did not leave the house while they were at school (for 5 days!). She had from 7:30 am until 3 pm to do what she pleased with FIL or with her time, but, "just in case someone phoned", she didn't want to leave the house. :eek: :confused: :rolleyes: Bizarre. There are many more examples that I just don't have the energy to get into, but she likes to tell us of her "sacrifices". :rolleyes: I told her she was being ridiculous.

donnamp14
03-14-2007, 07:00 AM
Oh, this post is a scream! Just posted yesterday and so many responses. My dear Mom passed away quite recently, and I really did love her. However, she had some lines that can still put me through the roof.

What are you going to do with that hair?
Did you try that on before you bought it?
You really ought to have that front tooth staightened.
Did you put back on all that weight you lost?

and the Queen Mother of Insults, spoken whenever I said what was really on my mind, or disagreed with anything:

You and your rotten disposition!


I loved her dearly, but she could, as I said, make me crazy.

Unfortunately for you "younger" folks on the board, you're always our "kids", no matter how successful, educated, grown-up and capable you are. But remember this, you really do make us parents proud!

-Donna

brickbat
03-14-2007, 07:44 AM
My mother tells other people stories about things that I did in my childhood. The problem is that most of them aren't really stories about me: she has me confused with my brother, one of my cousins, a neighborhood kid, or someone she saw in a tv show! I swear, I think she even DREAMS some of the things I "did." When I try to correct her by saying, "No, Mom, that was cousin so-and-so" or "Mom, I was only five in 1973, I doubt that I heckled President Nixon" she always responds by saying something like, "It was you! You just don't want to admit it."

Her age isn't an explanation either; she is only 62, has no major health problems, and has been doing this for at least 20 years. I've learned to laugh about it more as I've gotten older (and so has my brother; she does this to him as well), but sometimes, especially when my friends or in-laws are around, I still get so embarrassed I could scream.

gertdog
03-14-2007, 08:20 AM
What are you going to do with that hair?


Oooh, you stole mine! My mom's is a variation on that: "You'd be so much prettier if you'd just pull your hair back out of your face." Argh. That's the only one I can think of, but she's been saying it for 25 years now!! At least she's stopped giving me gifts of cutesy barrettes...

The one that MIL does is "I'm so good, I didn't even ask you about (fill in the blank with any topic that's none of her business)." Um, by saying that, you're pretty much asking! We've learned to respond by saying "Yep, that's pretty good!" which makes her sulk. The other one is an infinite number of variations on this theme: "So, I saw that movie this week." Me or DH: "Which movie?" MIL: "You know, the one with that guy." DH: "What guy?" MIL: "The tall one." If this conversation takes place at home I generally leave the room because I can never decide whether to laugh or cry- it can go on for a loooong time with no one ever figuring out what the heck she's talking about.

Barbara-cook, my first boss used to tell me "Good girl" all the time. Drove me BONKERS. He was a nice man, but had no clue about appropriate office communication.

leightx
03-14-2007, 08:41 AM
My mother tells other people stories about things that I did in my childhood. The problem is that most of them aren't really stories about me:

Oh my gosh - YES! I totally forgot about this, but my mom does it too and it drives me insane! We refer to it as "additive memory." :rolleyes:

Robyn1007
03-14-2007, 09:05 AM
Oh my gosh - YES! I totally forgot about this, but my mom does it too and it drives me insane! We refer to it as "additive memory." :rolleyes:

Hehe! My beloved aunt one time was talking about her wedding to my uncle with her daughter and I. I was there (about 3-4 years old) and they were telling the story of me dancing with another uncle. Out of nowhere she turns to her daughter and says "Well you were there." :eek: Umm, no my cousin wasn't adopted until at least a couple of years later. ;) We regularly give her a hard time about that one, she'll never live it down. :p :D

Cookin4Love, my granny used to tell us all about her dog's poo! It became a running joke between my mom, aunt and I. :p

PurplePotato
03-14-2007, 09:32 AM
My mother has started with the "good boy" thing with our son. No matter how many times we've explained that we don't like that phrase, no matter how many times we correct her with "Yes, he is a HAPPY boy" or whatever, she says it. :rolleyes:

She also insists on commenting on my weight. Since having DS every time I've seen her I've heard a comment. Last time I saw here I was in my pre-preggo jeans. Not a word. :mad:

Gracie
03-14-2007, 10:18 AM
Oooh, you stole mine! My mom's is a variation on that: "You'd be so much prettier if you'd just pull your hair back out of your face." .

Mine used to say that too. It must be a generational thing.

"Do as I say not as I do" was one of the ones that bugged me.

But the very WORST thing she ever did was if I had a smudge of dirt or food on my face, she would LICK her finger and then rub it off. Ewwwwwwwwww! :D

Loren

kwormann
03-14-2007, 10:38 AM
My mother tells other people stories about things that I did in my childhood. The problem is that most of them aren't really stories about me: she has me confused with my brother, one of my cousins, a neighborhood kid, or someone she saw in a tv show! I swear, I think she even DREAMS some of the things I "did." When I try to correct her by saying, "No, Mom, that was cousin so-and-so" or "Mom, I was only five in 1973, I doubt that I heckled President Nixon" she always responds by saying something like, "It was you! You just don't want to admit it."


A variation on that theme is: "But you USED to (didnt use to) like it..."

She asked DH recently if I liked Michael Bolton. He said "IM sure she doesnt". Mom sayd "but she USED to..." Yes, when I was 12 (not an insult to anyone who likes him). Its just that tastes CHANGE!!!!

donnamp14
03-14-2007, 10:47 AM
This thread is a hoot! I sent it to my best friend and she said it's hoot and a half. I was going to send it to my DD, but I am afraid she'd add her two cents....:eek:

-Donna

TKay
03-14-2007, 11:19 AM
Hilarious!

My mom has this delayed subconsious response, where it seems like she doesn't listen to what you're saying. Sample conversation:

Me: The rain is supposed to stop before the BBQ Thursday.
Mom: good.
...5 minutes and 2 conversation topics later...
Mom: I think the rain is supposed to stop before the BBQ on Thursday.
Me: (trying to restrain the rude noise I want to make) That's good.

It's like the statement has to bounce around in her brain and come back out before it's retained. Honestly.

--LHG

Oh my gosh! Dh does this. I made some comment about some webs we had outside. I said, "That has black widow written all over it." This morning, dh and I were out front before he went to work and he said, "Those webs have black widow written all over them." I'm thinking, are you messing with me? Or did you just internalize my words? He does this constantly.
Sorry, didn't mean to highjack, but it's so funny that your mom does that too. Funny in an annoying sort of way. :rolleyes:

Middydd
03-14-2007, 11:52 AM
The other one is an infinite number of variations on this theme: "So, I saw that movie this week." Me or DH: "Which movie?" MIL: "You know, the one with that guy." DH: "What guy?" MIL: "The tall one." If this conversation takes place at home I generally leave the room because I can never decide whether to laugh or cry- it can go on for a loooong time with no one ever figuring out what the heck she's talking about.



My mother-in-law used to do the "guessing game" thing endlessly. After she'd say "The tall one.", she'd then expect you to start rhyming off tall actors while she would say "No, not that one". Sometimes you'd finally figure out who she was talking about and what movie and then she'd start arguing as to whether you were right or not. I quit playing along long ago and would just ignore the start of the "game" by saying "I have no idea.".

syzygy
03-14-2007, 12:18 PM
"Be careful"

Im 36 years old! She says it if I say "Im going out for a run now"

Drives me crazy!

These would be my Mom's last words to me to me everytime I'd leave the house -- "goodbye, be careful". Almost like a talisman. And I guess it was because the one time she only said "Goodbye" and left off the "Be Careful" I was in a car accident (someone ran a stop sign and broadsided me). So now I always say it to my kids, since they've been little and they are adults now, too. But they have never complained. Maybe I should ask? Is it really that annoying?


Unfortunately for you "younger" folks on the board, you're always our "kids", no matter how successful, educated, grown-up and capable you are. But remember this, you really do make us parents proud!
AMEN! :)

VALERIEA234
03-14-2007, 12:52 PM
Yes She Did, But Mom Has Now Been Gone A Little Over A Year, And I Now Wish She Was Here, Just To Say The Same Things That Once Bugged Me.
Val

SusanMac
03-14-2007, 01:00 PM
What a scream!

The 'kids-in-a-box' and 'detailed poo' stories get my vote for the best ones!

No one has mentioned the detailed stories of people you absolutely do not know and have never met, but your mother acts shocked that you don't know them. "Nancy, who does my nails, blah, blah, blah..."

Canice
03-14-2007, 01:02 PM
This thread is soooo funny (and Stephania4 and Peggy get the "spraying Diet Coke on the monitor" award for me) but yea, moms --and daughters, no doubt-- can say those things that really get under your skin. "As I've said 8 million times..." --and the count is usually pretty close. My mom's old and has a lousy memory so when she's repeating a story for the eight million and first time, she forgets part of it and stalls out, so I fill in the missing details :D . "No, it was your boss who said that; it was the engineer in the office who brought the doughnuts in the first place." "Oh, that's right!" I don't care, but I do think it's kinda funny. She never says anything mean because the rest of the family is gone and I do everything for her. We both play nice because we're the last two standing, but that doesn't mean some things didn't use to make me wince.

I'm surprised I haven't seen:
"You're so sensitive!"

Robyn1007
03-14-2007, 01:05 PM
But the very WORST thing she ever did was if I had a smudge of dirt or food on my face, she would LICK her finger and then rub it off. Ewwwwwwwwww! :D

Loren

One year on Ash Wednesday I had gone to mass and had ashes on my forhead. I saw a friend later that day and she stuck her thumb in her mouth and started for my head! First, EWWWWWWW!!! Second, they're supposed to be there! :eek:

Gilgamesh37
03-14-2007, 01:06 PM
No one has mentioned the detailed stories of people you absolutely do not know and have never met, but your mother acts shocked that you don't know them. "Nancy, who does my nails, blah, blah, blah..."

Ding ding ding ding!!! Only, in my case, they're people my mother is convinced I SHOULD know-- "Oh of course you remember X, you met him that one time when we had the ABC picnic here at the house." "Mom, I was 8 years old, I don't remember." (I'm 44 now) Her: "Oh of course you do!" ANd nothing I say can convince her otherwise, or convince her that I don't give a rat's a$$ about him/her or any miscellanous people from my high school graduating class. In mom's case I know it's one of her ways of feeling like she's still involved in my life, and denying the fact that I loathe my hometown and left it like it was a burning building. So I try to let it slide. It's harder when they visit and she does it to DBF, who truly hasn't ever met any of these people---especially when she talks over him to tell pointless stories about these people he's never met.... :rolleyes:

And does anyone else's mother invite people to stay at your house? "I was talking to [insert random person I haven't seen in 20 years and don't care to] and he asked about you and so of course I told him that when he's in Chicago next month, he really should come and visit and stay with you for a few days." :mad: :mad: :mad:

HRJ
03-14-2007, 01:44 PM
Well, I'm surprised my mother doesn't have carpal tunnel, she pushes my buttons so much. ;)

Among the things that come to mind at the moment, is the "additive memory" thing -- I love that term -- and, also, expecting that I will remember things that happened when I was very, very young ("What do you mean you don't remember the trip to the lake when you were 3???"), or that happened when I was slightly older, but would have been paying no attention to the type of incident she's talking about ("How can you not remember the time your father filed our taxes late?") or that happened to people I barely know/don't know at all. Basically, she doesn't realize that I do not share her brain, and that I have a separate set of memories that do not include the same ones as hers.

Also, whenever I tell her about anything negative, she is always urging me to either "write a letter" or go speak to someone in authority, even when it's clearly not appropriate. If I tell her a co-worker made a mildly snarky comment to me over lunch, she'll tell me I should go tell the boss. If I tell her I bought a carton of milk that was sour, she'll tell me to write a letter to the president of Stop and Shop, and the American Dairy Association.

As for my MIL -- this drives me insane: she does not like to use the word "sleep." Instead, she says "rest." For instance, she'll say: "It's 10 pm -- I'm going to go upstairs to rest." "You look tired. Did you get enough rest last night?" "Good morning! I hope you had a nice rest."

I know there's nothing really "wrong" with any of those sentences, but it just bothers me the way she consistently goes out of her way to avoid saying the word "sleep," as though the whole act of sleeping is somewhat tawdry. (And I'm not talking about the phrase "sleep with" as a synonym for "have sex" -- she avoids the word "sleep" in even the most innocent context.) I think she thinks it's a more "ladylike" way of speaking.


Helene

Romandub
03-14-2007, 01:45 PM
Sneezles--I chuckled at your response because my standard to 19 year old DS is "don't do anything stupid", intended EXACTLY the way you said--don't do anything you will get arrested for or regret later!

As to the original post, it's not what my mom says that bugs me, it's what she does. Whenever she comes to visit, she unplugs EVERY appliance in our house, before she walks out the door. More than once, I've stuck a slice of bread in the toaster and wondered why it was taking so long to pop up---the answer, of course is that mom unplugged the toaster! Same thing with the iron, coffee maker, hair dryer, you name it. If she could get behind the TV, she would unplug that, too!

LaraW
03-14-2007, 02:18 PM
Ding ding ding ding!!! Only, in my case, they're people my mother is convinced I SHOULD know-- "Oh of course you remember X, you met him that one time when we had the ABC picnic here at the house." "Mom, I was 8 years old, I don't remember."

This is my mom. She will say something about some person who was IN MY PRESCHOOL CLASS when I was 3 years old. I'm 34 now, so in all likelihood, I have not seen or heard of this person in 31 years. :rolleyes:

My MIL/FIL always talk about people who we don't know but it doesn't stop them from talking about them. :rolleyes:

Canice
03-14-2007, 02:28 PM
...
My MIL/FIL always talk about people who we don't know but it doesn't stop them from talking about them. :rolleyes:

So my question is, do they talk about them as if you DID know them? I used to know someone who did that and it was almost surrealistic. "I got an email from Loreen today," she'd say with a frown. (Loreen?) "Her dad had another stroke!" (Dad? Stroke?) "And right after Phil and Jack relocated back to Columbus." (Phil? Jack? Who are they, and when did they leave Columbus?) "I guess I should be prepared to fly to Boston, then." (Boston? Who's in Boston? Loreen? Her dad?). I swear, all I could do was nod empathetically and throw in the occasional, "Oh, that's too bad." :rolleyes:

lindrusso
03-14-2007, 02:30 PM
Gma: And your health? Everything's OK?
Me: Yup. I'm fine. How are things up there?
Gma: And your job? Any layoffs? Any travel coming up? Any problems?
Me: My job is great.
Me: ACHOO
Gma: What? What was that??? [accusingly] YOU SAID YOU WERE FINE AND YOU'RE SICK. What's going on and why won't you tell me???
Me: I sneezed. They're painting outside and the fumes make me sneeze.
Gma: I see. [long pause] Painting over graffiti? Stephanie, are you safe?
@#!$@!#$*



My mom just talks about poo a lot. I hear about hers, my dad's, and my invalid uncle's for whom she is caring. I know color, texture, shape, how often, and how much. I don't know what the fixation is, but it drives me absolutely nuts.




And speaking of toilet paper... In high school my friends and I were always out TP'ing house on the weekends. When it was my turn to get TP'ed, she would make me go outside the next day and collect all of the strips of toilet paper in large grocery bags. She would put them in our bathroom and tell us we needed to use it. :eek: I am not kidding!!! We never did but we did endure the lectures about wastefulness.


Oh my goodness. Thank you all for the laugh - I really needed it today!

I can't think of an annoying phrase per se, but back when I used to watch soap operas, she - who only watched them occasionally - would ask what was going on. Um, seriously? You want me to catch you up on 3 years of General Hospital??

She does that with movies too - asking questions about what's going on, even if I've never seen the movie myself!

She also has this way of winding around a story. For instance, she might start off telling me she got a new car, but on the way to telling me, she'll tell me how it broke down, where she was going when it broke down (let's say it's the grocery store), what was on her grocery list, how Harris Teeter didn't have what she wanted so she had to make a trip to Fresh Fields, how she ran into her neighbor at Fresh Fields and so on and so on. We may or may not EVER get back to the main point of her story - the new car.

Okay, slight exaggeration, but not too far off. ;) :D

MIL and FIL don't tell long stories, but they repeat the same ones over and over.

Gotta love 'em.

Now I'm wondering what my boys will say about me. I know I have quirks now, but I think I need to develop a few more.......... ;) And I'm pretty sure that DH is doing a good job at working on his old age parental quirks - I'm already rolling my eyes at some of the things he says to the boys and he's not even talking to me! :D

Grace
03-14-2007, 02:43 PM
So my question is, do they talk about them as if you DID know them? I used to know someone who did that and it was almost surrealistic. "I got an email from Loreen today," she'd say with a frown. (Loreen?) "Her dad had another stroke!" (Dad? Stroke?) "And right after Phil and Jack relocated back to Columbus." (Phil? Jack? Who are they, and when did they leave Columbus?) "I guess I should be prepared to fly to Boston, then." (Boston? Who's in Boston? Loreen? Her dad?). I swear, all I could do was nod empathetically and throw in the occasional, "Oh, that's too bad." :rolleyes:

My mother doesn't do this, but my SISTER does!! Drives me nuts. When she first started dating her now Ex DH, she would say, Arnold did this and Arnold and I did that..... etc. I remember thinking, Arnold? Who the heck is Arnold? And because she spoke as if I should know him, I kept thinking I must be an idiot because for the life of me I couldn't think of a single Arnold that I knew?? I finally said to her, Arnold the pig? (from Green Acres - since that's the ONLY Arnold I could think of!). She got upset and said, NO! But from then on, he was Arnold the pig (turns out it was an accurate description! :p ).

But she does this constantly. NEVER prefaces who someone is. Ever. Her hairstylist, her now current boyfriend, her co-workers, she just talks about them as if they are all people we have in common. :rolleyes:

Alethea
03-14-2007, 02:45 PM
This is kind of the reverse, but it still drives me batty. My mother can't tolerate being told she "has" to do something. No matter how casually it's being used.

Me: Ooh, these strawberries are divine. You have to try one, they're incredibly sweet.
Mom: Don't tell me what I have to do.

Mom: Your father and I are flying to Nowhereville, EBF. Do you think we can get a direct flight?
Me: No, I think you're going to have to make a stop somewhere.
Mom: Don't tell me what I have to do.
Me: Fine. Call the airline and let them tell you.

Me: OMG, you have to look out the window right now. There's a moose in the yard!!!
Mom: Don't tell me what I have to do.
Me: <under my breath> $(#&*&@%$!
Mom: What is it?
Me: A moose!
Mom: Why didn't you say so?!? <Running to look>
Me: I DID! You didn't bother listening to the end of the sentence.

Normally I manage not the use the "h word" but it's ridiculous the way she pounces on it anytime I do.

gertdog
03-14-2007, 04:31 PM
So my question is, do they talk about them as if you DID know them? I used to know someone who did that and it was almost surrealistic.

My MIL does! Every Christmas she brings over all the cards she and step-FIL have received, and makes DH sit with her and look at every single one, and read every letter because DH "knows" them too. Never mind half of them are people he met as a small child and doesn't remember, and the other half are people his mother has met in her post-divorce life- DH has never met them at all. She simply won't listen when he says he doesn't know them, and just keeps on talking about how so-and-so got food poisoning at the Ruby Tuesday salad bar last year and isn't it great how Jim and Kelly didn't get divorced even though everyone thought they would.

kwormann
03-14-2007, 04:47 PM
These would be my Mom's last words to me to me everytime I'd leave the house -- "goodbye, be careful". Almost like a talisman. And I guess it was because the one time she only said "Goodbye" and left off the "Be Careful" I was in a car accident (someone ran a stop sign and broadsided me). So now I always say it to my kids, since they've been little and they are adults now, too. But they have never complained. Maybe I should ask? Is it really that annoying?


AMEN! :)

It is to me. It makes me feel like she doesnt think I can take care of myself or definately will get hurt while on a run (at the grocery store, walking the dog)... (but that is just me :))

Canice
03-14-2007, 05:04 PM
My mother doesn't do this, but my SISTER does!! Drives me nuts. When she first started dating her now Ex DH, she would say, Arnold did this and Arnold and I did that..... etc. I remember thinking, Arnold? Who the heck is Arnold? And because she spoke as if I should know him, I kept thinking I must be an idiot because for the life of me I couldn't think of a single Arnold that I knew?? I finally said to her, Arnold the pig?....

LOL! Wow, don't know why but that really struck my funny bone! :p

ADM
03-14-2007, 05:06 PM
Anyway, I'm 50 and it drives me absolutely INSANE when I tell my mom I did or said something, and she answers me with "good girl". , , ,Anyway, I was just wondering if anyone else out there has a parent or two that says annoying stuff over and over, what is/was it, and if you got them to stop, how did you do it?

I had a 90-year-old great-aunt who said the same thing to her contemporaries - and she didn't mean it in anything but in a loving way!

[I am wondering if anyone out there has a CHILD or two that says annoying stuff over and over, what is/was it, and if you got them to stop, how did you do it? And yes, a child can be a 50 year old male or female.]

Canice
03-14-2007, 05:11 PM
...
[I am wondering if anyone out there has a CHILD or two that says annoying stuff over and over, what is/was it, and if you got them to stop, how did you do it? And yes, a child can be a 50 year old male or female.]


Oh, I don't doubt it for one second - annoyances are rarely one-way streets. I'm sure I say all kinds of things that irk my mom, she just bites her tongue. I can tell you for a fact that when I was a teenager she used to count the number of times I said "ya know" in a sentence. So I'd tell her some grand tale of my day in the eighth grade, and she'd say, "Did you realize you said 'ya know' eight times?"

Elizabeth B
03-14-2007, 06:18 PM
Wow, what a funny thread!

My mother has finally given up on the "You should wear your hair short", "You should accessorize more", and "You should wear more makeup", thank goodness.

But I still hear about "You and your sister and all those boys you used to date." I have no idea who they "all" were, but it sounds a lot more exciting now than it was at the time. And what about my brother, who was frequently juggling multiple girlfriends (and even dated a couple of sets of sisters) - she never says anything about him. And she tells people about how my bedroom was always a mess when I lived at home.

My grandfather was the best, though. He would start any story with a weather report for that particular day. Such as, "I remember the day your mother was born. It was a sunny day, although they had predicted rain. The temperature was in the 60's, but there was a cold wind." Just thinking about it brings back some good memories.

eas11
03-14-2007, 06:44 PM
She also has this way of winding around a story. For instance, she might start off telling me she got a new car, but on the way to telling me, she'll tell me how it broke down, where she was going when it broke down (let's say it's the grocery store), what was on her grocery list, how Harris Teeter didn't have what she wanted so she had to make a trip to Fresh Fields, how she ran into her neighbor at Fresh Fields and so on and so on. We may or may not EVER get back to the main point of her story - the new car.

Okay, slight exaggeration, but not too far off. ;) :D

MIL and FIL don't tell long stories, but they repeat the same ones over and over.



OMG, this is my mother too! Drives us nuts!!! All the minutia of every event, conversation, illness, etc.

If she spoke to my brother, I get:
-Have you spoken to your brother lately?
Me: Not for awhile, how are they (he and family?)
-He called me from the car on his way from The City to Jersey.
-He could only talk for a few minutes because he was going to meet someone for lunch.
-Dad saw an article in The Wall Street Journal about something he thought your brother would be interested in, so he mailed it to him.
BLAH,BLAH,BLAH,BLAH,BLAH,BLAH,BLAH,BLAH,BLAH!

After a call like this, my sister and I usually end up laughing about it...
Our conversation is usually:
So, I spoke to your mother today. Do you know that our brother drove from The City to Jersey today?!!! And he was going to a business lunch? And Dad sent him an article??? At this point, the other of us will say STOP!! I've already heard it 2x's from Mom earlier :D

My folks are 81 and 83, so they're entitled to their aging brains! It is however, both maddening and funny to have these conversations.

LaraW
03-14-2007, 07:48 PM
So my question is, do they talk about them as if you DID know them? I used to know someone who did that and it was almost surrealistic. "I got an email from Loreen today," she'd say with a frown. (Loreen?) "Her dad had another stroke!" (Dad? Stroke?) "And right after Phil and Jack relocated back to Columbus." (Phil? Jack? Who are they, and when did they leave Columbus?) "I guess I should be prepared to fly to Boston, then." (Boston? Who's in Boston? Loreen? Her dad?). I swear, all I could do was nod empathetically and throw in the occasional, "Oh, that's too bad." :rolleyes:

LOL

MIL will say something about "Joe", that they ran into his mother and got an update as to what Joe was up to. DH will say "That was John's (DB) friend". MIL will just kind of blink at him and pause for a second and then tell us all about what Joe has been up to.

Or, she will say somethign about someone they know from church. We may have heard the name before just from other conversations about them but neither DH nor I have ever met them and would never know them if we were to meet them on the street. But, even when we say that, she just pauses and then goes on with her story. She's determined to tell the story!

barbara-cook
03-15-2007, 06:03 AM
I can't believe I stirred up this little hornets nest with my first post! Here, I thought I was the only one with "elderly" parents that say and do stuff that bug me a lot! Now I feel a whole lot better, knowing that I have tons of company!

As a postscript to my "good girl" comments at the beginning of this post, on yesterday's visit to continue my spring cleaning at my parents house, my mom said something interesting about HER mom!

Seems that when my brother and his wife had their first child, my SIL sent my grandmother some pictures of the baby. My grandmother actually wrote to my SIL and told her to Please, don't send me any more pictures of the baby. I have more pictures than I know what to do with.....what a way to welcome a grand-daughter-in-law to the family, huh? Anyway, I said something like, well, Grandma sometimes had a way of saying things that just didn't sit well with others. And my mom agreed and then said, AND I know I have said some things at times that came out wrong and I wish I'd just kept my mouth shut.

Wow, she does know she says this stuff. Just no brakes on the tongue, huh Mom?

One of my biggest fears is that I will merrily traipse down this hereditary path without even realising it! I probably am already on it and don't know it. I've told my husband that if I start to say stupid stuff like my mother does, to just take me out and shoot me and get it over with.

I am glad that we can all share our little stories - I was laughing so hard at some of them and could find my parents and aunts and uncles in a lot of them - to make it seem like less of a burden to all of us.

I know that parents usually mean well and we'll all miss them when they're gone, if they aren't gone already. It's probably best to just let them go and find the humor in it.

I'm not sure who posted it, but I LOVED the story about the MIL that said they put their babies in cardboard boxes when traveling by car. And the stories about people you don't even know (but probably should) and the related events that you supposedly saw or took part in way before you were born.

As one added note, I mentioned my "good girl" and "be good" things to my friend at the gym yesterday. So when I finished my work out, what does she say? With a big grin on her face she says "Good girl!" I about died laughing. Then when I left, she smiles at me and sayd "now be good!"

It helped take the edge off that's for sure. And when I was working at my parents house yesterday, my mom said neither of those things to me. I think (hopefully) that she took what I said about it to heart and I won't be hearing those things anymore.

Keep those cards and letters coming folks, we can all get a laugh out of these little gems!

Miss_Liss
03-15-2007, 08:16 AM
This thread is too too too funny. Thanks for starting it barbara-cook. I think that the sticking the kids in the cardboard box is one of my favorites too :D

My parents are only in their mid-60s and my DM is pretty un-annoying, though she would correct my grammar and pronunciation, in the middle of sentences, until I was 18 or so. Now when I speak to her on the phone and I say who instead of whom, I can hear her take a little breath but she doesn't say anything :p

My DF takes the cake though. I'll call him and he'll say "It's been ages since we spoke. Why haven't you called? I miss talking to you" or I'll get an email saying "Haven't heard from you for ages....please call" - Um but dad, you haven't called me either!!:eek: It just never occurs to him that he should pick up the phone if he wants to speak to someone so he suffers until we call him (I know he does this with my sister too). It's like a weird mental block. :rolleyes:

Slightly off topic but I have to share that I was speaking to DF the other day to tell him that DBF and I were returning to Oz for a holiday (he's never met DBF) and he said something about us living in America forever. I mentioned that DBF and I had discussed that when we have kids, we would probably return to Oz to live for at least some of their schooling - DF went all quiet and then I heard a little "really?". I continued on and said that yeah, this is something we'd thought about and then I heard a little "I'd really like that". Now my dad is a big strapping Aussie bloke who I've only seen cry twice (when his brother and mother died) but I could hear the tears in his voice. Awww shucks dad :o :)

boisewinesnob
03-15-2007, 08:41 AM
My mom suffers from low self esteem.....in a pretty big way. She loves to take credit for things and ideas; even if they were not hers :rolleyes: .
Example: she comes to visit us at a new house and says something like "oh, you put that picture on that wall like I told you to." Um, what? Maybe in her mind she thought about telling us to decorate in some way, but that's news to me. She also hates cooking and never really made good food very often when I was a kid (or now, for that matter). But whenever I make a yummy recipe she'll act like she's made it before. Whatever.

Veronica
03-15-2007, 09:01 AM
I agree with the person who said Mom knows how to push all my buttons because she put them there. So true!

One of the most annoying things my mom does is say my full name in a sing-song voice. It's said in a very disapproving, tut tut, "you're being ridiculous" tone, and it's a sure way to get under my skin.

Robyn1007
03-15-2007, 09:04 AM
The conversations reminded me of some that I've had with my dad. Here's a recent conversation when my dad called me.

Me: Hello!
Dad: Hi Sprout! (his nickname for me)
Me: How are you?
Dad: Good. Did a bike ride this morning and heading to the grocery store with Marilyn right now.
Me: Oh, that's good.
Dad: Did you ski this weekend?
Me: Yep, coached yesterday and on my way down from skiing today.
Dad: Great! Well, talk to you next weekend.
Me: Um, okay. :confused:
Dad: Bye
Me: Bye

Did he even think I might have something to tell him? I called my stepsister and we both got a laugh out of it. He is just too much sometimes! :p

barbara-cook
03-16-2007, 08:49 AM
I'm still enjoying the fact that I started this and got everyone chuckling. I found myself doing something the other day that is probably annoying the heck out of my 15 years old son. If we are in the car, and I have something to tell him, I always reach over and tap his knee. I guess it's so I get his attention, and he hasn't said anything about it, but I think I'll stop before he does!

Does anyone have any suggestions on what to say to their kids and spouse on the way out of the house in the morning? I seem to be stuck on "work hard" for my son and "have a good day" to my husband. I'm sure they are sick of it, or will be soon!

Maybe I'll switch to "don't do anything stupid" for my son!

Miss_Liss
03-16-2007, 09:10 AM
Does anyone have any suggestions on what to say to their kids and spouse on the way out of the house in the morning? I seem to be stuck on "work hard" for my son and "have a good day" to my husband. I'm sure they are sick of it, or will be soon!

Maybe I'll switch to "don't do anything stupid" for my son!

I'm a "love you" kinda gal but I can see how that wouldn't necessarily be popular with a 15 year old. :D

lbd
03-16-2007, 11:00 AM
MIL is an expert on everything and, like Jalapeno's mother, is psychic. Any question anyone asks, no matter what the answer, she replies "yes, I thought you would XX". Oh, really? So last summer she came to visit after DS was born and we had a childcare book out on the table. She asks about it, clearly having never seen it before, and the conversation moves on. Not 30 minutes later she's telling DH that he should pay close attention to the book because it's really good. All with an air of absolute knowledge.

Oh, and I confess to using spit to clean off DS sometimes :o , but he's only 9.5 months old. How soon do I need to stop before it becomes a post on this thread or a topic for his shrink?

barbara-cook
03-20-2007, 02:42 PM
Miss_Liss - I actually tell him this every night before bed and he always replied back "I love you too". But it would be overkill to use as he heads out to school. I try to vary what I say to my husband when he leaves - have a good day, see you tonight, be careful (if the weather is nasty), or don't let the ........ get you down.

lbd - I think all Mom's are guilty of the using spit to clean a kids face at some point in their little lives. I guess the time to stop is when they make a face or try to get away from you when you try to do that.

Well, now that I started this thread and had lunch with a couple of friends and told them about the "good girl" thing, now they are saying it to me! At least it defused it for me. I'm just waiting for my Mom to say it again.....urrrrrrrr!

stefania4
03-20-2007, 04:54 PM
My mother can not throw a party without it being a surprise party. Apparently it's a tradition in the northeast to throw a shower (baby or bridal) as a surprise party, but any birthday, graduation (nope, I had NO idea I was graduating), welcome-home, farewell, etc. has to involve tricking the guest of honor into being there and stashing decorations in the dark corners of the basement.

The next one is my grandmother's birthday party - yes, we're all traipsing to Virginia (from 3 different states), and it's supposed to be a SURPRISE! She'll never guess there's an ulterior motive despite the fact that we haven't all been together since my wedding 4 years ago (and before that, my sister's wedding).

Actually, to some extent, it will - the party is in April, her birthday was in January.

aggie94
03-20-2007, 05:22 PM
My mother tells other people stories about things that I did in my childhood. The problem is that most of them aren't really stories about me: she has me confused with my brother, one of my cousins, a neighborhood kid, or someone she saw in a tv show! I swear, I think she even DREAMS some of the things I "did." When I try to correct her by saying, "No, Mom, that was cousin so-and-so" or "Mom, I was only five in 1973, I doubt that I heckled President Nixon" she always responds by saying something like, "It was you! You just don't want to admit it."

Her age isn't an explanation either; she is only 62, has no major health problems, and has been doing this for at least 20 years. I've learned to laugh about it more as I've gotten older (and so has my brother; she does this to him as well), but sometimes, especially when my friends or in-laws are around, I still get so embarrassed I could scream.


LOL! Reminds me of MIL, who has 5 kids (DH is the youngest). She is constantly confusing stories of the kids -- who did what, who said what, etc. One time at Christmas, she started telling a story about DH being in college and getting in trouble for setting fire to his dorm room door, and the school sending them (MIL & FIL) a letter about it. DH insisted it was his older brother, and I defended DH to the death, as I was with him almost all of his college years. Come to find out later that DH did it (!) and was deliberately trying to make his parents think it was his brother. Which apparently worked, as his parents are now convinced that they were confused and it was his brother. :eek:

My mom is generally pretty good, and nothing specific comes to mind, except a comment she made to me right before my wedding, when I got the brilliant idea of wearing a traditional Chinese wedding dress to my reception, only it was too late to get one. I was a little sad that I hadn't thought of the idea sooner, and in an attempt to make me feel better, she said, "Oh, that's OK - you can do that at your next wedding." :eek:


I can't think of an annoying phrase per se, but back when I used to watch soap operas, she - who only watched them occasionally - would ask what was going on. Um, seriously? You want me to catch you up on 3 years of General Hospital??

OMG, DH does this, except it's always with the grocery list. When he goes to the grocery store with me, he ALWAYS asks, on the way inside (or the way there), "What are we getting from the store?" Ummm, do you want me to read you my list??? I've finally started just handing him my list when he does this.

Applepie1101
03-20-2007, 05:29 PM
Do you think he is going to call....

Do you think you are going to see him again...

cangoss
03-20-2007, 07:16 PM
I wish I had a blog now so I could post an Amazon Affiliates link to this book and make a mint...

http://ec1.images-amazon.com/images/P/081297266X.01._AA240_SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg

I went to hear Deborah Tannen speak about the book with my mother last year, the week before Mother's Day. It was really eye-opening to learn about the motivations behind some of the comments that come out of my mother's mouth. I'd encourage all of you who are frustrated with your mothers to check this book out of the library.

I grew my hair out for my sister's wedding, which was a week ago, and got about four inches cut off on Friday. I am dreading seeing my mother and hearing the comments about the fact that I cut off my BEAUTIFUL hair.