ISO ideas on how I curtail the negative self talk

[applecrisp]

I have realized that I have been upping the internal self talk .... and it's not the positive stuff. :rolleyes: I seem to be doing more negative internal self talk. It's not things that I would say to others... so I know its not ok for me to say those things to myself.

And, I am certainly not counting the unimportant stuff ....like if I do something and think "what a klutz". That stuff isn't hurtful.

I think some of the things have become simply a habit. So I want to find ways to break it.

So, any suggestions on how to curb the negative self talk. I know its not good for my karma (ok wrong word but you get the idea).

Thanks,

[SusanMac]

I can't remember if you've been on the Beck Diet thread. If not, check that out. If so, then I guess this is a more focused spin-off.

My first thought is post-it notes! DH made fun of me when I first started doing it. But now that the teasing is over, he's OK with it & I no longer feel dumb. I have a few notes posted at my desk, bathroom & where I workout. They list goals and motivational sayings. I also made a whole bulletin board with pictures of strong women who motivate me. I have to be careful that I don't let myself think about *looking* like them, just *being* like them. Athletes. Strong. Beautiful. Accomplished. Motivated. No fear.

[littlelion1961]

I know what you are experiencing.

Actually, I don't even call myself "a klutz" anymore because I think that
kind of thinking opens the door for other negative stuff. Counter every
negative thought with a positive one.

I really like what Susan wrote and will have to try the post-it notes.

It would also help to know if you are a religious person; I am, and I have
just now started to think about this abuse in terms of how damaging
it is to my spirit. I am a slow learner!!!

Do something loving for yourself today; and remind yourself how important
you are.

~Paula

[TKay]

A therapist told me this once. She said to treat yourself like you would a child. Would you say to your son or daughter, "What a klutz!" Or "I KNEW you'd fail at that?" Or "Yeah, right. Like you're ever going to do THAT?" (Or whatever self-talk you use.) It really helps me to realize how damaging my words would be if I said them to a child. I'd never tell my son, "What difference does it make? Just eat that cake. It's not like you're getting thin anytime soon." But somehow it's okay to say it to myself? It really helps me to think of it that way.
Also, check out the Beck thread. You'll find some great tips there.

[wallycat]

I am hopeful there will be more.
You can only imagine the bad things I am thinking and saying to myself now!!

[applecrisp]

Thanks everyone. Keep them coming. And I am checking out the Beck thread since I think much of it probably applies to many areas. Oh, and not a bad thing for me to learn how to think like a thin person -- as the title says. :p I did order the book from the library.

Tkay -- you are so right..... great advice (now I just have to listen and follow it) that you shouldn't say things to yourself that you wouln't say to a child (or for anyone else for that matter). I think that is what made me take notice, that I am saying things to myself that I know is just not good. It's too negative. And, what is it accomplishing.. nothing. I just need to find ways to break me from that self talk junk. I think in some areas, it has become a habit -- too automatic.

Thanks again.

[TKay]

Yes! It becomes automatic and sort of mindless, the things we repeat to ourselves. But the only thing this habit does is make us feel bad. It keeps us from feeling the way we want--and need--to. And it keeps us down. It's great that you're aware of it. That's the first step in curbing it. (See how smart we are!) :D

[generic]

I think some of the things have become simply a habit. So I want to find ways to break it.

One thing I've found helpful for those habitual thoughts is to say "cancel, cancel" or "erase" right after I catch myself thinking it. If it's habitual, sometimes you've already said the bad thing to yourself before you can replace it with a positive thought. If you "cancel" it, at least you're letting your subconscious mind know that you didn't mean it and don't intend to continue the habit.

[littlelion1961]

I am hopeful there will be more.
You can only imagine the bad things I am thinking and saying to myself now!!

{{{Ana}}} You will live. You must simply believe in yourself and your unique qualities. Everyday, look at yourself in the mirror and say, "I love you."

There will be lots of time at the end of summer for you to listen to your negative thoughts. I promise you will come out of this stronger,
more content, more purpose driven.

For reasons I won't go into now, before breast cancer, I had
become a control freak; afraid that if I relaxed, all the balls I was juggling
would fall. All of a sudden, I was put in a position of complete submission!
I came out of radiation therapy a new person; and although I would not wish
this on anyone, I am blessed to have received this attitude adjustment. And
if you look around, most of the women who have gone through this, tell you the same thing. You will never be the same person you are today.

Your hormones are probably playing havoc with you right now and you have
several weeks to heal, so be kind to yourself. Do what you need to do to get
focused on your next step. A positive attitude is everything. People who know you here on the BB love you for your generous, compassionate spirit so
draw on that for now.

I just don't seem to be able to put in writing my desire to help you through this. So if I have erred, forgive me.

~Paula

[applecrisp]

Generic -- Thanks for the ideas. I am going to try to start saying a word after I start with the negative self-talk. If nothing else, I am telling myself that it isn''t acceptable to say that. Maybe that will help cut it off, or cut it back. But, grrrr -- I am starting to believe some of the stuff. We all know how good repetition works. :rolleyes:

Wallycat, wishing you all the best.

Any other ideas welcome!!!

Thanks!

[HARRYET]

Have any of you read the book "the secret"

My book club selected it for the read this month, and I was skeptical to read it. I didn't want to purchase it, so I put it on hold at the library, hoping that it would become available to me in time to read. Well it became available and I have read most of it in 2 days, (no very long only 180+ pages & not a hard read). The information they give you is about positive thinking. I wasn't going to purchase the book, but now I am going to purchase it, because I know I want time to digest the information given to me and reread the book when school gets out and life becomes a little calmer for me. But in the mean time I can utilize some of the information I have learned from the book.

Hopefully if you pick this up and read it, you will find some helpful hints to positive thinking as well.

Good Luck, Ann

[generic]

Just wanted to mention the author of The Secret is Rhonda Byrne, in case anyone wants to take Ann's suggestion. I haven't read it yet, as I am on a very long library waiting list for it! Glad to hear it's worth waiting for. :)