If I'd known then what I know now...

[tamawrite]

...I would have stuck to my guns when I was seventeen and tried to break up with my boyfriend, rather than letting him talk me into staying together. Breaking up then would have been a lot easier than divorcing eight years down the road!

...I would have chosen a different major in undergrad. I am not meant to be a classroom teacher.

...I would have spent more time at social events in college. Maybe. Studying alone is still one of my favorite things to do, but I might have met a better guy!

...I would have burned that sculpted cat candle I won in a third-grade drawing, instead of "keeping it safe" until it melted in my bedroom closet.

You?

[tbb113]

I would listen to my gut feelings and act on things sooner instead of hoping that things will change. I would have been divorced sooner (or never even married him, would have changed careers years earlier)

I would make more of an effort to stay in touch with people even when my life gets crazy

[Laura]

I NEVER would have gone to law school.

Looking back I had a certain feelings about my ex that I now know were inherent character flaws, but if I hadn't married him I wouldn't have my two awesome kiddos.

I would have bought the property I wanted to buy in Placerville and Jackson Hole when it was still cheap to do so and I had the money to buy about 5 acres.

[TieKitty]

I wouldn't have married the man I did.

I would have never started smoking (fortunately, I was able to quit a few years ago).

I would have finished college instead of getting married.

[SDMomChef]

I would have stayed in Colorado instead of moving back to South Dakota.

[Missi]

I would have immediately gotten my Master's degree instead of "working for a few years" to make sure I wanted it.

I would have gone away to college instead of living at home to save money.

I would have hugged my grandmother more.

[springsgourmet9]

I would have finished college, although I'm not sure it would have helped financially as most of my college friends aren't doing as well. But it would have helped me in other ways.

I would have read more to my two boys. They are horrible spellers.

I would like to have been a SAHM but instead went right back to work and never stopped.

I would marry my husband all over again, its been 27 wonderful years!

[sneezles]

I'd do it all over again!:p Me wanting a different career may have changed who I am and quite frankly I love my life!:cool:

[little_bopeep]

I would have been more responsible and kept from getting pregnant right out of college. That one act caused me to miss the opportunity to get a Master of Fine Arts in directing that's no longer offered, thereby changing my entire life. It might have been best for everyone around me.

I wouldn't have married the first man that came along, even tho I knew--I KNEW-- it was a mistake. I got three wonderful kids out of it, but they all have so many problems that it may have been kinder not to have had them.

I wouldn't have made the phone call that got me fired from the best job I ever had.

I would have taken the high road when I last saw my dad lucid and we wouldn't have fought. He died a week later, and I still carry that guilt 27 years later.

Wow. Thanks for letting me get all that out!

[Robyn1007]

I would have stayed in-state for college and not spent way too much money on a year at a school that I didn't like.

I would have come to take care of my granny while she was ill rather than take a job that ended up making me miserable.

I would have kept ski racing rather than quitting when my dad quit coaching.

I would have walked away for good when my ex-bf locked me in his house.

[Sookie]

I would invest every penny I had in Microsoft in 1984 and had it out by the end of 1999.:)

[sparrowgrass]

Knowing then what I know now, I would have picked a different father for my children. Biggest mistake of my life.

I would have realized how pretty I was at 16 and 18 and 25. (And when I am 90, I will say that about "when I was 53".)

Ah, well.

[CompassRose]

I'd've whined or begged or pleaded until my parents sent me to the arts high school, regardless of inconveniences of transportation, instead of leaving me at "Last Chance U" (which happened to be in our school area, but was also the final haven for the .... academically challenged, where the only useful things I learned were how to type, and how to get As in all my classes while still reading three chunky paperbacks per day).
I would have pulled myself together, got over my mother's and my personality differences, lived at home during university instead of going away, and actually FINISHED my degree.
I'd have slept with the gorgeous, glamorous boy I was in love with all through high school and years after, when he offered, instead of coming over all virginal at the last minute. From every report, it would have been totally worth it.
I wouldn't have rolled over and let the Evil Ex move six hundred klicks to be with me, even though the other part of the reason I left (apart from #1) was because I had no idea how to break up with someone.
If not that, I would have stuck to my guns when I finally DID break up with him, and realised that even if he WAS hospitalised with bleeding ulcers at the thought, that was his problem and not mine.
I wouldn't have chickened out, and would have made a serious try at professional acting in my twenties.
I would have faced the fact sooner that my periodic depressions have always meant that I was unhappy with something in my life, and addressed those issues instead of going through repeated, and ever more personally and physically damaging, bouts of misery.
I would have given away my cats, and used my inheritance from my grandmother to travel around Europe instead of buying a house.

That's inspiring. :( "Everything you've ever done was wrong."

[leightx]

There's a lot of things I've done wrong, but I have to think that all of those mistakes (and non-mistakes too) have led me to the place I am in right now. And I'm pretty darned happy to be here. :)

There was a plenty of wasted time and money and energy, but if I had done it differently I probably wouldn't have the family and friends and job I have now.

[Deechef]

I wasn't going to answer this but you all have been so honest I guess I can be too.

I wouldn't have gotten the Dalkon Shield (IUD). I couldn't have children because of it.

I would have finished my Phd. DXH talked me out of finishing to help set up his practice.

I wouldn't have adopted our son. I knew it was wrong from the get go but DXH wanted a son. I love him but he has caused so much pain and heartbreak and it continues.

I am very happy though and I think these trials only made me stronger and more able to appreciate what I do have.

[TieKitty]

I would have realized how pretty I was at 16 and 18 and 25. (And when I am 90, I will say that about "when I was 53".)



Wow! This really hit home with me. I was recently organizing old photos and I thought I looked pretty in them. I didn't think so at the time. In fact, I thought I was not very good looking at all. Time sure can change your perspective.

[HRJ]

My first thought was to say ... I would have adopted a child many years sooner than I did, instead of waiting for medical miracle.

But then, had things worked out differently, I might not have ended up with the same remarkable DS that I have now, which is unimaginable to me. So I guess everything needs to happen in its time.

Helene

[EllenL]

Like you, Tama, I would have studied less in college/grad school and had more fun/developed my social skills more.

I wouldn't have majored in psychology undergrad and occupational therapy graduate---much more suited to journalism or library science.

I wouldn't have waited until the age of 40 to get my first pet as an adult!

I would have worried less (started when I was a kid, an only child, born to what was then very old parents- 42 and 45---worried that I would be left an orphan at a very young age. Instead, they lived to be 89/92! And friends' younger parents died prematurely. That should have taught me that worrying is useless!).

I would have stood up to the in-laws from the beginning!

[Jessnc]

I would have cared more in high school and chosen a better profession for myself instead of going to art school and then culinary school. I thought a wonderful man would come sweep me off my feet and we'd get married and I'd be a stay at home mom..... (uh-oh --- I'm still hoping this will happen)..

I would have been more responsible during my first college years. I would have hung around with a more refined crowd.

Every move I make now, I hesitate because I am afraid I am going to look back and have regret. It scares me that so many of you would have not married the man you did. I hope I will be able to make the right choice when my time comes.

[GingerPow]

I would have never followed any one else's advice, and ALWAYS followed my gut.

I would have realized when I was a teenager that I was gorgeous and smart. I did not think I was either.

[PAMMELA]

I wouldn't have wasted 4 years with xboyfriend when I knew he was bad for me after a few months. But I was IN LOVE:rolleyes:

I would have saved my money instead of spending it all on him.

I would have finished court reporting school instead of listening to him saying, "just don't go today".

I would have been brave enough to change jobs and move years ago but.....then we wouldn't have sold our house in CA for 3 times what we paid for it 15 years ago.

Now I've been married to the man of my dreams for 17 years and we have everything we ever wanted. I think all the things that happen in our lives happen for a reason.

[LakeMartinGal]

I would have learned WAY earlier in life to laugh at myself, instead of waiting to 57! :rolleyes: It makes life so much easier...

I would not have changed my husband or children, though... Even though DH and I have not spent all our married life together, due to deployments and his traveling job, we are happy, and have grown together!:D

[armel]

I would have realized that just because somebody you respect gives you advice, it doesn't mean they really even thought about it very much. I wanted to buy a house in my mid-20s. My Dad said, "At your age, you should just spend your money and have fun. Buy a car you really like." So I was 37 before I bought a house. When I recently reminded my Dad that he said that he replied "Oh, I can't believe I ever would have said that. I think there is nothing better than buying your own home."

I would have made any boyfriends decide if they wanted to follow me for my career instead of me making career decisions based on where they wanted to be.

I would have dated far more casually in my 20s instead of spending so much time with boyfriend after boyfriend.

And I would have lived the philosophy from Day 1 not to take the stuff at work too seriously. Work goes on whether you show up there or not. But family is where you really need to be.

[Elisabeth13]

This thread has been weighing heavily on my mind all day. All the regrets about ex-husbands and ex-boyfriends have me a little freaked out! :eek:

I'm only 26, and feel like I'm at a pretty transitional point in my life - i.e., I'm not married yet, don't have kids, don't own a house, and have a job that I like but that probably isn't anything I will stay at for more than 5 years at most. However, I DO feel like I'm at a point where it's time for me to really think about the decisions I make and how they will affect my long-term happiness.

I live with my DBF, and our relationship is far from perfect. In fact, tonight, it sounds like he isn't going to "make it home" because he's had too much to drink and wants to stay with his friends, which is something that happens regularly and really bothers me. This, among other things, has often made me wonder if this is what I want for the rest of my life. Reading about other people's older-and-wiser-now regrets is exactly what I worry will happen to me if my life stays the way it is.

I hope that I am mature enough and smart enough to make the best decision for myself, but it sure is a difficult one - and I can see how someone can end up with someone that they wish they hadn't years later.

[MrsReber]

I live with my DBF, and our relationship is far from perfect. In fact, tonight, it sounds like he isn't going to "make it home" because he's had too much to drink and wants to stay with his friends, which is something that happens regularly and really bothers me. This, among other things, has often made me wonder if this is what I want for the rest of my life. Reading about other people's older-and-wiser-now regrets is exactly what I worry will happen to me if my life stays the way it is.

I hope that I am mature enough and smart enough to make the best decision for myself, but it sure is a difficult one - and I can see how someone can end up with someone that they wish they hadn't years later.

I wasted almost 10 years of my life with someone I knew would never change. I knew I'd never marry him because he couldn't seem to wipe his own nose, didn't pay his bills because he'd throw them out (this cost him his driver's license so he couldn't get to work). Why'd I stay? I probably thought there wasn't anyone else for me. I was wrong. It was painful- I was 25 when it was finally over, went through my "transitional" guy and met my DH. You can do it.

As far as changing things- would I have gotten rid of the slug earlier? Maybe. But we had fun and I learned a lot about what I wanted in life.

I can't really think of anything that I'd want to change, to be honest. I like where I'm at now. Sometimes it's frustrating, hectic, and I want to crawl into a hole and escape- but I always want to come back because most of the time it's wonderful :) . It's life. We live, we learn, we're shaped by what we learn.

I second Sneezle's post. Everything wasn't always perfect, but I have no desier to do it differently.