Some stupid questions about potty-training

[veschke]

We're kind of baffled on how to get started here. All of the tips and hints and baby books vaguely imply that your child will let you know when she's ready and that it will just sort of happen after that.

Well, she hasn't let us know, and she's just turned 3, so I'm starting to get anxious (probably not necessary, but still). She watches me. She has a potty. She sits on it cheerfully enough, but the point seems to elude her. She's never indicated in her life that she needs to be changed, or that she has to go (we can tell sometimes when it's in progress, but not beforehand). Should we wait for that? Or do you just take them out of diapers and hope they'll get the idea after a few wet times?

[mikex1337]

You can't "hope" for anything. IMHO, you have to guide the child and show them what to do. Constructive criticism. I hope other members have better advice for you. Let us know how she progresses.

[RunnerKim]

You might search for potty training threads - I know there have been several and you might find it helpful to read others experiences and struggles.

I don't think there's any right way to potty train that works for every child. I do think there are two philosophies(probably more). One is the "wait for the child to be ready." The other is the "it's time to use the potty." I think both can be successful and depending on the child one might be easier than the other.

We didn't have much of a choice about it with DD - her daycare required kids to be potty trained by 2.5 to move to the next room. It works for all those kids (some with many more accidents than others). We went cold turkey with Lainey and it worked well for her. She really needed to feel herself get wet. She'd been happily sitting on a potty for months before this. She'd never really indicated she was wet and to some degree about pooping (that was mostly us figuring out the signs). We found it best to have her naked - padded underwear definitely inhibited the process. Being naked not only made it easier for her to feel the pee but also made it easier to get to the potty. We kept the potty close at hand. Once she peed in the potty the first time she had very few accidents (not counting during sleeping).

My DS asked to sit on a potty at a young age - under 2. He indicated he needed to pee and he actually did it. I hadn't done any of the potty awareness stuff I did with DD. I didn't even have the books out or making comments about it. Havign a big sister I'm sure had something to do with it. Having gone through the process with my DD I decided to go cold turkey with DS too even though he was so young. I didn't want him thinking he could pee in the potty only when he felt like it. He had accidents for a few months - not every day but a few times a week. Shortly after turning 2 he wasn't having accidents anymore and he's even stayed dry overnight now. Crazy.

Oh the first time we went cold turkey with DD we gave up too soon. She was peeing every 10-20 minutes (and sometimes shortly after getting up off the potty). After a couple of hours we gave up. The very next weekend (after her teacher encouraged us to wait her out) she was potty trained.

Diapers really are pretty convenient though. There have been many times I've thought how much easier it would be on *me* if Jamie were still in diapers.

Kim

[veschke]

Thanks, I'll look for those other threads. It's just sort of frustrating not being sure if she's really not ready for it, or what's going through her little head that means she seems perfectly content in diapers. We might have to try "cold turkey"... perhaps she'll surprise us.

[RunnerKim]

I suppose it depends on what you mean by ready. From what I've been told almost all 3 year old bodies are capable of potty training. i.e., the bladder can hold it long enough etc.

If you mean more that she wants to use the potty - that's a different issue that depends a lot on how comfortable she is with change, how much she sees of other kids (and adults for that matter) using a potty, how uncomfortable she is in a wet/dirty diaper etc. etc. And it all goes back to philosophy. There are many things our kids learn to do that they don't necessarily want to do.

Good luck!

Kim