Advice? Friend with eating disorder

[veschke]

One of the members of my cooking club has been obviously underweight for some time now. Lately she's been looking worse, and she's given up even a pretense of normal eating in front of us (at last Sunday's meeting, all she ate was the salad. With fat-free dressing). We're all worried about her, but don't know what to do. She's had a tough couple of years and we suspect this grew out of depression, but she's not terribly open about her personal life, so it's difficult to ask questions. Does anyone have any suggestions?

[avariell]

i am sorry you have a friend going through this. i don't have much to offer, but hopefully my reply bumps this up so someone with experience can respond.

good luck

[ellery]

I'm bumping too just in case this was missed.

I'd be worried about assuming she has an eating disorder, unless you already know this about her (I don't know your background info on her). Is it possible that she's ill or depressed? Has anyone expressed any concern to her about how she's feeling, you know, just a general, "you're looking thinner, are you okay?" kind of thing?

Eating disorders are tricky beasts and she'd most likely deny it if asked, but I don't see the harm in expressing your concern to her and at least letting her know that if she needs to talk, that you're there for her.

I don't know if that helped at all... sorry. You're definitely in a tough situation. Hopefully someone else will weigh in with thoughts.

:)

Leah

[veschke]

I'd be worried about assuming she has an eating disorder, unless you already know this about her (I don't know your background info on her).

I'm pretty sure; she's lightly built to begin with, but she's skin and bones now, and she has the "fuzzy" look (lanugo?). I'm just not sure how to bring it up. A good friend in college had eating disorders and dealing with her was just so frustrating.... We've been trying to get together for lunch for months now, but something has always come up. Just wondering if anyone else had a good approach, but there may not be one....

Anyway, thanks for the replies. :)

[Terri_A]

Is she married or is there another family member of hers that you know? I think that speaking to them about your concerns may bring things to light as well. And there's nothing wrong with calling her, telling her you are concerned since she's getting so thin and letting her know that you're there as a friend if she needs it. If she's struggling, she knows it and may not be ready to do anything about it.