Stop Dressing You Six Year Old Like a Skank

[do-lolly]

Have any of you read this book? I read it when it first came out and I believe it's in paperback now. I did a search and I didn't see where it had ever been discussed before. The authors name is Celia Rivenbark. She writes a syndicated column and has turned the column into three books; Bless Your Heart Tramp, We're Just Like You Only Prettier, and Stop Dressing Your Six Year Old Like a Skank. If you have never read any of them, I want to reccommend them, they are just hilarious.

I have attached a link to Amazon, that shows the chapter titles (which are funny in themselves) and you can also read the first chapter. I can no longer listen to mom's talk about Disney World without cracking up now.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/reader/0312339941/ref=sib_dp_pt/103-6487721-7365444#reader-link

[cminmd]

"I'd rather have a three-way with Chip and Dale"

I would have never thought to see those words together!

[Debralynn]

Now there's a word you don't hear to often, SKANK.. lol:D Debralynn

[do-lolly]

Now there's a word you don't hear to often, SKANK.. lol:D Debralynn

Her definition of a Skank is a slut with better shoes.:D

[Autumn]

I had to laugh at the Disney chapter. Years ago, we took a Disney trip with NO character meals (I was clueless about these), and *gasp* we didn't even stay on Disney property. Somehow, we managed to have a fabulous family vacation anyway! I still get looks of "Oh, you poor thing," when talking about it to other moms who describe their character breakfasts as something akin to getting a medal of honor or something. Thanks for posting!

[do-lolly]

I just talked to a neighbor last week, who is going in a few months. She has the book, and has mapped out every second that she will be there. We did stay on the property, but the character breakfast we booked when we got there. Of course we have boys, so we didn't have to get the princess breakfast, that may make a difference. I still chuckle on the inside every time I hear a mom talk about planning a Disney vacation.

[Beth]

I may have to check this out.

I'm curious, but I can imagine the Disney part. I also have boys, so no princess breakfast (now in a couple more years they might be interested, but for different reasons :D ) -- no character breakfasts at all. We bought the tickets, bought passes and made everything else up on the fly -- right down to the wheelchair rental for one son and the other one who got sick on Main Street waiting for the parade. :p

[ChristineVA]

I just talked to a neighbor last week, who is going in a few months. She has the book, and has mapped out every second that she will be there.


This would be me and I LOVE every minute of it!:D

[HejazSunKat]

I may have to check this out, maybe it will help me understand the Cult of Disney. I have relatives who go every single year and they've been doing it since before they had kids (even now the oldest is only 5) so it clearly isn't about the enjoyment of the wee ones. Frankly I think the kids are a 'beard'. :D How come people can't check off that box and move on? How many times does one need to see an amusement park? Do they put something in the water down there? Why would people want to have a fake experience when there are so many amazing places in the world where you can have a real one?

[KristiB]

I've never been to Disney and have no desire to go but I know people really like it.

I checked this out at the library. The other chapters look good too.

[BeachBum]

I may have to check this out, maybe it will help me understand the Cult of Disney. I have relatives who go every single year ...

I don't consider myself a Disney Cult member, but we do go often. We live within a couple hour drive to it is easy for us. We have a toddler, and it is nice b/c he is welcome everywhere. We never have to feel like we are bothering other travelers--which is important to us. The hotels are nice but not stuffy--and there are so, so many restaurants to choose from.
We also enjoy the fact that there are so many activities that we can always find something we enjoy that fits with our schedule--parades, fireworks, concerts in addition to the rides.
Before having our kiddo my DH and I had not been to Disney together. We did prefer to do more authentic traveling. But with a toddler, it is nice to have a place where we can ALL relax and have some fun.

To me it's kind of like a cruise. Not really an authentic experience--but it is a nice way to just kickback and relax. Every time I travel I don't have to see the world. But I also wouldn't be happy only doing "canned" vacations.
If it was my only vacation, I would probably wouldn't choose to go to Disney over and over. But people are different--and I'm certainly not going to knock how other people choose to enjoy their down time.
Now, dressing your 6 year old like a skank--that I can judge like the best of them ;) :D

[lindrusso]

I may have to check this out, maybe it will help me understand the Cult of Disney. I have relatives who go every single year and they've been doing it since before they had kids (even now the oldest is only 5) so it clearly isn't about the enjoyment of the wee ones. Frankly I think the kids are a 'beard'. :D How come people can't check off that box and move on? How many times does one need to see an amusement park? Do they put something in the water down there? Why would people want to have a fake experience when there are so many amazing places in the world where you can have a real one?

I guess everyone just has their thing - if it makes them happy, so be it. I'm not keen on amusement park stuff or standing in line or big crowds (makes me crazy!) and Disney seems to be all of those things. And unlike BeachBum, we don't go on many vacations, some years not at all, so we need to be a little choosier.

Now, going to the beach every year, THAT I can understand. :) That's my favorite vacation - the only vacation where I come back feeling totally relaxed because there is no obligation to DO anything at all - and I'd never get sick of it. ;) But some people would find that totally and completely boring and never understand how someone could do that every year (we don't do it every year, but we would if we could!).

[ChristineVA]

:D I don't consider myself a Disney Cult member, but we do go often. We live within a couple hour drive to it is easy for us. We have a toddler, and it is nice b/c he is welcome everywhere. We never have to feel like we are bothering other travelers--which is important to us. The hotels are nice but not stuffy--and there are so, so many restaurants to choose from.
We also enjoy the fact that there are so many activities that we can always find something we enjoy that fits with our schedule--parades, fireworks, concerts in addition to the rides.


Ditto for me. And I *am* a cult member.:D I don't go every year, but I try to go every other year. My kids are now 16 and 12 and they absolutely love it. My parents also go with me. It is a vacation where you can truly take EVERYONE and there is several things for all age groups. I like the cleanliness of the parks, my kids LOVE the rides, and I go for the different signature dining experiences which are wonderful to me. But, bottom line, it is a truly EASY vacation. I used to go on many other vacations where I pretty much ended up being the tour planner and guide and I was so stressed when I got back. At Disney, everything is done for you. So, for me, it is a truly relaxing experience but I wouldn't call it real "touring". I put it on the same level as going on the beach trip every year--which I used to do. But after having kids, I found myself not really having a good time at the beach. I was STILL going to the grocery store, STILL planning meals, and STILL doing too much laundry and vacuuming the sand up. I ended up moving my home to a beach 3 hours a way. Not fun for mom and dad anymore! So that's my reason for Disney.

[boisewinesnob]

do-lolly,
thanks for posting this thread! I put the book on hold at the library and have just read about 1/4 of the way through. Her style reminds me of Dave Barry a little bit; so funny! I laughed out loud at the part where she didn't sign up for the character breakfast in time so she was told she'd have to eat chicken out of a bucket with Sneezy. Ha! :D

BTW, I have been to Disneyland twice and Disneyworld once. I like it, but I agree with her that it is so flippin' expensive.
But I'm secretly hoping I can take the grandkids in the future ;)

[Debralynn]

Thank you so much for recommending this book, I just picked it up from Borders last night and read the first 50 pages. It is sooooo funny, I mean really laugh out loud funny. This is the first book I have read tht was written by C. Rivenback - are they all this funny ??? Thanks again, you made my night. :) Debralynn

[do-lolly]

I'm so glad to y'all like it. Her books just crack me up and I'm glad that you find her as funny as I do. I can't read them in bed, because I end up laughing so hard that I wake up DH.:D

Debralynn, all of her books are funny, though I think the first one is more about the south and is not quite as funny as the second and third ones. I personally love her stories about being a mother and the first book doesn't have quite as many mom stories as the other two. I would still reccomend it though.

[saserre]

Just got from library and started reading it. It's great, thanks for the recommendation! It reminds me of David Sedaris (Amy's brother) and his style of writing.

It was also neat to read that she's from North Carolina like me.

I enjoyed the comment at the beginning of a chapter about the sixth wedding she attended in a summer, and it's anyone living in sin anymore.

I have to admit, I was a Disney freak when I went a few years past, but no kid, just me and ex. I bought the book, planned when to fast pass, printed the maps of what to visit when, etc. Go figure, I went the week after Sept 11 (flight was scheduled to leave Sept 11, obviously delayed), and it was crazy empty. Will never be that empty again. We rode rides five times in a row because the lines were so short. All my planning for nothing.

[do-lolly]

It reminds me of David Sedaris (Amy's brother) and his style of writing.



I love David Sedaris. I have only "read, read" one of his book, but have listened to all of his books on DVD. I found that I much prefer hearing him read it, than reading it myself. I just put them in the car and listen to them on the way to work, or when I'm going to pick up kids from school. I know that people think I'm crazy driving all by myself and laughing hysterically. If you have never listened to one, I would highly recommend it. He has such great delivery.

I think my favorite story is the one about Christmas in another country. The name of the chapter is Six To Eight Black Men, and it is so funny.

My favorite line from, Me Talk Pretty One Day, is when he's trying to speak french at a dinner party and asks the hostess if he's eating is cow brain. The line is: "Are them's the thoughts of cows". I laugh out loud every time I hear that.

[do-lolly]

BTW, I went to her website the other day, and there is a very short video of her talking about the book. At the end of it she says, "I thought.....she needed killin......but it wouldn't be Christian." I don't remember if that's a line from the book, but I thought that was pretty funny.