Me and kids want kittens, but.....

[MrsReber]

I have been mulling this over for quite some time now. We currently have 2 dogs- a 15 year old Bichon who I expect is nearing the end of her life- she's really slowed down- and a very dumb, fat yellow lab. My kids are gentle with the Bichon, but she's not all that playful. The lab, on the other hand, is TOO playful and really too rough with the kids. Not much fun for them as he will dominate any game they play outside and we have to lock him up so they can play.
For a few months now, they have been asking to get a kitten. There are 3 kittens at the barn where DD takes riding lessons. From being around them, my kids have learned how to hold the kittens and be gentle with them. Everyone who sees my kids gushing over these kittens tells me "you have to get a kitten for your kids!" They simply adore them and I know they'd take care of them. They're very good about caring for the dogs (brushing, feeding, letting them out to go).

DD is 6 and DS is 5. One of the girls who rides at the barn has a cat who had 4 kittens (4 weeks old now), one of which is an orange kitten and my kids are dying to have him. Having had a male cat, I'd much prefer a female. However, I was thinking we should have 2 kittens so they play together.

Here are my obstacles---- Number 1 is DH. He claims that kittens are "too much work" I already laughed at this. He does not want a litter box in the house. He tried this approach with my cat when we first met. My cat responded by peeing in the house because he obviously does not have opposable thumbs with which to open the door.

Number 2 - how do we keep the kittens from getting squashed in the road? It's not a high traffic area, but cars do speed through here because we're on a back road. I know it'd be impossible to keep the kittens inside with my kids constantly in and out of the house. It's inevitable.

Hmm, I guess those are my only 2 concerns. We do have mice in the house on occasion so I would love to have cats. The dogs just aren't cutting it. They can find a dead mouse, but they don't pay much attention to the live ones.

I am thinking that I should just bring the kittens home and tell DH to live with it as I am stuck with 85 pounds of high maintenance, dumb yellow lab each day -he destroyed 4 pairs of socks this week alone, can't leave the kids toys alone, and runs off every time I let him outside- in addition to growling at me and trying to bite me when I put him in the basement. He likes to make himself cozy on the furniture, including our bed--- but that's a whole other story. DH wanted a yellow lab and took this one in because he had no home.

Okay, so back to the kittens- the kids and I will take care of them, so I'm not sure what DH's issue is. That's why I'm considering just bringing them home and not fully discussing it with him. I know that seems sneaky, but if I tell him about them, he'll just say no without any reason. Why do all of you think??

[SusanMac]

I've had cats for most of my life, and much of those years the cats have been indoor/outdoor cats. The cars issue is definitely a risk you take. But, it's definitely doable. If you keep the kittens indoors for nighttime & for long periods of time, they'll learn to prefer it over the outdoors. So, hopefully the outdoors/car risk hours are more limited.

I did grow up w/a cat that didn't use a litterbox. I was a kid at the time, so have absolutely no idea how my parents trained a cat to only go to the bathroom outside!

I do think that kittens are a lot of work. And 2 kittens would be mania in the household. But, gosh they're worth it :-)

For me personally, I'd never bring a pet home w/out DH's buyin & would be furious if he did that to me. Cats are a 15+ year commitment. That's a pretty big deal to jump into w/out being in agreement first.

[MrsReber]

I've had cats in the past. My last one was 17 and he died as a result of being attacked by a couple of loose dogs (the dogs are no more as it wasn't their first attack). Anyway, DH and I have been over this several times and he's clearly out numbered by me and the kids. He says No simply to say no and doesn't have a valid reason. I would never get his buy in. However, when my cat came to live with him and his dog, he really liked my cat and would go out of his way to do little things for him. It seems to me like he is against the idea of cat, not the reality of having one.

After living with our 2 current dogs, I can't see kittens being all that much work! I am thinking 2 kittens so they can play together because they're so much fun to watch. One kitten would be miserable trying to play with either of our dogs. And the lab isn't really a problem as he lives in fear of the cat next door.

I'll have to get DD to work on him :D .

[CompassRose]

I agree; kittens without the consent of all housemates is pretty unfair.

Personally, if I lived on a known dangerous road, I would keep any cats as indoor cats. My parents don't, and every cat they ever had has been hideously squished on the old Montreal highway leading out of Ottawa...

My cats have always been indoor cats, and it is not that big a deal. Litterboxes are not offensive if cleaned every day (get a metal garbage can with a fitted lid, and put the daily scoopings in tied grocery bags). I've also been using this corn- (or maybe wheat?) based litter called The World's Best Litter lately; it's very absorbent, and really seems to keep the odour down. Expensive, but you don't need much. And you can teach the children to keep the cats inside, they're old enough.

Why would you prefer a female? Neutered male cats, in my experience, are more sociable than female ones (something to do with the difference in how male and female cats view "territory").

[MrsReber]

I had a male cat who was neutered at 6 months. He still sprayed in the house. Not often, but once is enough. I agree that male cats are more social, though. I was thinking one of each would be good.

I know I can tell the kids over and over to keep the cats inside, but it will never happen. We have the same issue with the lab right now. My kids are oblivious when it comes to the door. They prop it open, leave it open when the a/c is on, "forget" that the dogs can walk out....they can be taught, I suppose, but they need to be reminded each and every time the door is opened and I can't keep watch over that. I work from home and they have come to me many times to tell me that the dog got out "by accident."

[avariell]

Regarding kittens being too much work - i actually have to kind of agree... kittens can be crazy hyper... climbing curtains and running around like mini tornadoes. i know i wouldn't be prepared for it in my house.


the only other advice i would give is that a pet is a serious commitment, and i wouldn't get one if you think there is a chance your dh will not be okay with it. it seems to me like a decision that everyone should be involved in. it sounds like maybe you are so p!ssed about the lab that you want the kitties to "get back at" your dh. i am not trying to put words in your mouth, but your post just seemed pretty mad about the bad dog.... so just be careful about using an animal as a weapon :o

ETA- His issue just might be that he doesn't like cats... i wouldn't want to live with a cat cuz it is just how i am... same reason some people don't want dogs, ya know? :)

[badunnin]

I agree that kittens can be a lot of work. I hand raised 3 of them 2 summers ago - they were 2 1/2 weeks old when I got them - and they were crazy nuts from 3 months old until... present. ;) The litter was originally 2 males and a female, and I kept the 2 boys - the female went to live with a friend of mine. They are both very social (having been hand raised has a lot to do with that) and very sweet, but both can be holy terrors as well. I do think that females can have more "attitude". My boys never spray, but Michael will hump his blanket. :rolleyes: That one has a host of little idiosyncrasies from being weaned too soon. ;)

[PamN]

Having had cats and dogs in the household at the same time, I really think you need your DH to buy in, because it will affect the whole family on a daily basis, at least for a while. It can be done -- we did it, several times over! -- but it can be a bit of a job for you.

How will the lab react to the cats? We've brought kittens into an existing-dog household and felt it necessary to keep kittens segregated until they were old enough to defend themselves, at least by jumping up on a table or other piece of furniture (pack away breakables on table tops!). Our dogs weren't malevolent -- they wanted to play with the kittens, but big dogs play rough and play could escalate to injury, especially if needle-sharp claws contact dog noses. It sounds like your lab wouldn't learn to leave the kittens alone and you'd have to be right there with the kittens to make sure they were safe.

And then, we had a couple of kittens who were so bored with being closed away that after a few weeks, they neglected to use the litterbox. They were getting tons of attention; they just wanted more -- and more freedom. They were kittens who had been raised outside while with their mom and I guess they felt the call of wide-open spaces. When we did give them run of the house, they sat at the back door caterwauling to get out. I would have preferred that they remain indoor cats, but they eventually wore me down.

So, if you get one kitten or two, you'll have a lot more activity in your house. Meowing, woofing, hissing and the skitter of pet feet. Of course, your dog could decide to play mama to them, but kittens are little balls of energy all on their own, so things still wouldn't be quiet for a loooong time.

Maybe the lab would be calmer with the kittens if he had a lot more exercise. It sounds to me like he needs that anyway -- a tired dog is a good dog.

[avariell]

Number 2 - how do we keep the kittens from getting squashed in the road? It's not a high traffic area, but cars do speed through here because we're on a back road. I know it'd be impossible to keep the kittens inside with my kids constantly in and out of the house. It's inevitable.



i feel like i am really being negative about this post and i feel kind of bad about it but... here i go again :) i feel like it is really irresponsible to own cats in this situation. i would feel like the worst person alive if i killed your cat (or your dog) on the busy road. i would really try to keep them as indoor cats. there is no way to keep a cat from being squashed on the road other than keeping them inside or on a leash i suppose. also, your cat can become someone else's pest. my neighbor's cat sits at my bird feeder and attacks birds. it really makes me mad. JMHO :cool:

[tamawrite]

Here's a solution to the litterbox problem that DH and I used at our last house:

We installed a small-dog sized doggie door in a convenient wall, then built a "kitty outhouse" (plywood, about 2' X 2.5') to put on the outside of the door. We put the litterbox in the outhouse, which had a hinged roof for easy litter changing.

The cats would go through the doggie door and into the outhouse, never actually setting foot in the wide and dangerous outdoors, to use the litterbox. It worked great! I'd do it again at our current house, but we have stucco walls now so installation would be more difficult.

If you wanted to take this idea a step further, you could construct an outdoor run, like a dog run but with a top, so Kitty could go outside but still be in a safe, enclosed area.

[avariell]

If you wanted to take this idea a step further, you could construct an outdoor run, like a dog run but with a top, so Kitty could go outside but still be in a safe, enclosed area.


what she said :)

[Robyn1007]

I have a wonderfully loving male cat who adores me and I adore him. The only time he sprays is when I can't get to the right store to get his favorite litter and I buy something else to hold him over. :rolleyes: He used to go outside until I got a call from someone miles away across very busy streets who had found his collar there. He was at home at the time but it showed me how far he'd wandered and scared the livin' daylights out of me. As he's gotten older he's tried to escape less.

I also agree that it's unfair to bring home any kind of animal without buy in from your DH. If he went out and brought home another lab what would you feel like?

[sparrowgrass]

I am stuck with 85 pounds of high maintenance, dumb yellow lab each day -he destroyed 4 pairs of socks this week alone, can't leave the kids toys alone, and runs off every time I let him outside- in addition to growling at me and trying to bite me when I put him in the basement. He likes to make himself cozy on the furniture, including our bed--- but that's a whole other story. DH wanted a yellow lab and took this one in because he had no home.



Isn't anybody else worried about this?

I think you need to solve the dog problem before you complicate your life any more. I cannot imagine living in the same house with an 85 pound dog who feels free to growl or snap at me.

If he growls/snaps at you, what about the kids?

[Robyn1007]

Isn't anybody else worried about this?

I think you need to solve the dog problem before you complicate your life any more. I cannot imagine living in the same house with an 85 pound dog who feels free to growl or snap at me.

If he growls/snaps at you, what about the kids?

Good point, I missed that part of the thread since I didn't have coffee in me yet. The scars on my hand prove how dangerous this can be (actually from a yellow lab coincidentally) and I think it should be addressed as well. Mcgeiger recommended seeing an animal behavior specialist for the dog who bit me so you might look into that for your lab.

[MrsReber]

Wow- I asked for advice on how to make this work, not how to discourage me from getting some kittens, which my children have been begging for for 2 years now. The kids currently take care of our 2 dogs.

I am not in any way "using" these kittens as a "weapon" to get back at DH for the lab. I understand your concern, but I'm seriously not that petty. When he asked if we should take the dog in, I was agreeable. We previously had a very large lab (bigger than this one) when DD was born. He died shortly before DS was born. So we are well accustomed to having three pets in the house and the issues that go along with it. That is not a problem.

We are not irresponsible pet owners. Our pets are very well taken care of and loved. Yes, even though the lab is a real pain and I have some issues with him, I will not give up on him. We're his third home in three years and it's unfair to him, IMHO, to set him up for a life of instability. He needs consistency. He does not snap at the children. Dogs are pack animals and, as a male, he thinks he is higher up in the chain than me, the female. We're working through it.

And lastly, I do not wish for these kittens to come into my home and be killed in the road, which is why I was asking for advice. Yes, yes, I know, make them house cats. Went through that with my last cat. It was impossible to keep him inside as he tried to escape each and every time the door opened. We finally gave up and he lived for 17 long years as an outdoor cat and I moved him three times as well.

Right now, I'm feeling like an idiot for even posting about this in the first place. I seriously doubt that the kittens owner and various other people would be encouraging me to get a kitten if our home were a questionnable place for pets.

[Laurielee]

my neighbor just got 2 kittens 2 weeks ago, they are so darn cute! I was over there playing with them and they had a ball playing with each other and keeping each other entertained. We were talking how nice she got 2 because of how much they play with each other. Its been years since I had a kitten and forgot what trouble they can get into, like making it halfway up the screens in a manner of seconds.:eek:


Laurie

[donleyk]

I am thinking that I should just bring the kittens home and tell DH to live with it as I am stuck with 85 pounds of high maintenance, dumb yellow lab each day -

I loved this remark! Thank for the chuckle.

I think getting 2 kittens is a good idea. They can play together when the kids aren't home. If your kids were older I'd say I was a little concerned that the kittens wouldn't play with the kids enough but they're at a good age where the kittens will probably be their focus.

I didn't read the other posts so sorry if I echoed anyone.

[donleyk]

Right now, I'm feeling like an idiot for even posting about this in the first place. I seriously doubt that the kittens owner and various other people would be encouraging me to get a kitten if our home were a questionnable place for pets.

Wow, I wish I would have read the other posts before answering because I would have written more reasons for you to get these kittens!

[avariell]

Okay, so back to the kittens- the kids and I will take care of them, so I'm not sure what DH's issue is. That's why I'm considering just bringing them home and not fully discussing it with him. I know that seems sneaky, but if I tell him about them, he'll just say no without any reason. Why do all of you think??

sorry - i took that to mean you wanted an opinion regarding your whole post. i didn't mean to imply you were a bad pet owner, i was just trying to give another opinion (which is what i thought you wanted - like why your dh might be feeling the way he is).

and i do think people who own outdoor cats are irresponsible - which is just a difference of opinion. no biggie. sorry!

[MrsReber]

I loved this remark! Thank for the chuckle.

I think getting 2 kittens is a good idea. They can play together when the kids aren't home. If your kids were older I'd say I was a little concerned that the kittens wouldn't play with the kids enough but they're at a good age where the kittens will probably be their focus.

I didn't read the other posts so sorry if I echoed anyone.

Thanks for the post! My kids love kittens and really want a couple. And yes, many of the lab comments were tongue in cheek. He's a problem, but we're working with him. My sister recently got 2 kittens for her kids and they love them. She is the one who was insisted we should get 2 since they have a lot of energy and would need to play together. The previous owner of this house had a cat that had a litter of kittens. They all stayed in the basement. I'd get them spayed/neutered ASAP, though. There are enough homeless kittens in this world.

[donleyk]

and i do think people who own outdoor cats are irresponsible - which is just a difference of opinion. no biggie. sorry!

Any pet owner who doesn't take responsibility for any pet is the problem. People who keep barn cats who take care of them aren't problems. I live next to a farmer whose has barn cats are better taken care of then the numerous dog owners in my area. I don't exaggerate when I say there are 10 dogs in my area that run loose, aren't tagged, and fight. The barn cats are spayed/neutered, up on their rabies shots and kill mice, moles and other rodents. I'll take the outdoor cats and cat owners hands down.

And I'm not picking on you avariell, just the misconception.

[avariell]

Any pet owner who doesn't take responsibility for any pet is the problem. People who keep barn cats who take care of them aren't problems. I live next to a farmer whose has barn cats are better taken care of then the numerous dog owners in my area. I don't exaggerate when I say there are 10 dogs in my area that run loose, aren't tagged, and fight. The barn cats are spayed/neutered, up on their rabies shots and kill mice, moles and other rodents. I'll take the outdoor cats and cat owners hands down.

And I'm not picking on you avariell, just the misconception.

fair enough - outdoor dogs (or any pet) running wild would bother me just as much :) it is the fear factor of being the person who kills the animal on a road that seriously messes with my head :( and makes it nearly impossible for me understand why you would take a risk with a pet... but i understand why people disagree :)

[ChristyMarie]

Isn't anybody else worried about this?

I think you need to solve the dog problem before you complicate your life any more. I cannot imagine living in the same house with an 85 pound dog who feels free to growl or snap at me.

If he growls/snaps at you, what about the kids?

I am. I think adding kittens to the mix is a bad idea until you can fix the dog behavior troubles through obedience training. If the dog snaps at you, what will he do to a kitten? And how long before the aggression/dominance issues transfer to your children?

[armel]

I think when he says No he means No. Just as when you say No you mean No.

[MrsReber]

Yes, well, oddly enough, he said no to living together, marriage and children at one time. He says no to things he's not comfortable with for fear of the unknown. He doesn't say no because of any valid reason. If he were allergic or he hated cats, maybe I could understand but neither of those things is true. He even had cats as a child.

I was simply wondering how to approach him with all of this and make him comfortable with the idea. We had a cat previously and DD misses him. Even at the age of 2, she was taking care of him. He was 17 when he died. Our 15 year old dog realistically doesn't have all that much time left.

[SusanMac]

Don't feel like an idiot for posting! This is much more interesting than the "God" thread :-)

[MrsReber]

Don't feel like an idiot for posting! This is much more interesting than the "God" thread :-)

Thanks for the laugh! That other thread scares me. I'm not even going there! :D

Not that I expect everyone to agree with me, I was just looking for some positive suggestions, ideas, etc. My kids really want a kitten and they haven't let this thought go in the past (at least) 2 years. It's okay that DH says no, but compromise is part of living together as a family. I think he's out numbered here.

[armel]

Yes, well, oddly enough, he said no to living together, marriage and children at one time.

I would think you just didn't move in or start kids on your own though . . . I would think you waited until he was at the point to say "yes."

[MrsReber]

I would think you just didn't move in or start kids on your own though . . . I would think you waited until he was at the point to say "yes."
j.
Okay, I'm not trying to be nasty here, but I really don't get the point of this post or your last one, that no means no. I am a partner in this relationship and I don't recall ever blindly saying no to something that DH wanted.
Should I give up my desire and my children's desire to have a kitten just because DH says no?

[armel]

I'll try to do better at explaining. If he doesn't want a cat, he doesn't want a cat. It seems like you don't agree with his reasons for saying no and so you think he should say yes. You call it "blindly saying no". But from what you described it sounds like he just doesn't desire to have a cat and has stated some reasons. And really if you know you don't want an animal, you know you don't want an animal. So that is what I mean by no mean no.

Also you had said that you were thinking of just getting a cat whether he wanted it or not. So when you pointed out that he had changed his mind other times when he had initially said no, I was trying to say, but in those cases you waited until he changed his mind and his no became a yes.

So in your original post, I thought you were asking for our opinion about bringing the kittens home even though your husband doesn't want them. And I was giving my opinion that you shouldn't. So I would say IMHO you can wish to have a cat, but until your husband also wants one, then you shouldn't get one.

I know (I think) that this isn't what you wanted to hear as an opinion. So do what I do . . . ignore opinions that don't mesh with what I want to do. Or if I missed what your original question really was, then this doesn't matter anyway.

[anyway, my lesson is not to reply to a post when I am at work and don't have much time to type anything.]

[ljt2r]

OK I am going to respond to the question in the OP and some of the issues brought up by the OP, because this is a public forum and my opinions are clamoring in my head--so like everyone else has said, if you don't like them, ignore them. :)

If you cannot trust your kids to keep the animals in the house, then they are not really taking care of them, at least not in that regard. I also live in terror if hitting the dogs and cats with collars I see running on my backwoods country road and it really ticks me off that I have to worry about this. If I hit an animal--and God forbid with my kids in tow, the emotional fallout would be devastating.

Anyway, I will try to answer what it seems to me is your actual question, since I love owning both dogs and cats and sympathize with your desire to do so. Have you thought about dragging your DH along to the barn or wherever it was you said your kids play with the cats? Maybe if he saw how much they enjoy the cats he would feel differently about acquiring one? I am with everyone else about not surprising him with a cat, but I will say that if you owned one previously, the pet owner in me says he does not have a huge leg to stand on to just arbitrarily decide you should not own one now. I know not owning dogs would be a deal breaker for me--just because the dogs I owned now passed away, DH would understand that I will always own a dog. Maybe you could ask DH how he would feel about a temporary (say one weekend) adoption of a kitten, to see how he feels about it? Maybe he would grow attached to the kitten--but be prepared to take the cat back if he does not. Sounds like worst case scenario you and your DH need to have a serious talk about how much this is upsetting you.

OK, and last a dog that is not accepting pack order with you and is growling and snapping is absolutely not safe around a 5 and 6 yr old. I am not advocating giving up on him, but I would get him to a trainer pronto and not let him be unsupervised around your kids. I understand why you don't want to give up on him and I don't think you should, but that is not the same as ignoring the warning signs that could have devastating consequences with small children. JMHO

Laura

[armel]

but I will say that if you owned one previously, the pet owner in me says he does not have a huge leg to stand on to just arbitrarily decide you should not own one now.

And i was thinking that if you had a cat previously then he knows exactly what it was like to have a cat and so he really knows that he doesn't want to have a cat in the house again because of experience.

Unless of course, you made really clear all along that you were a huge cat lover and would always have cats. Then it would be wrong of him to change the rules on you.

[ljt2r]

And i was thinking that if you had a cat previously then he knows exactly what it was like to have a cat and so he really knows that he doesn't want to have a cat in the house again because of experience.

Unless of course, you made really clear all along that you were a huge cat lover and would always have cats. Then it would be wrong of him to change the rules on you.

I was definitely assuming something more along these lines.

Which I guess just really illustrates the fact that we don't have enough information to help you decide if you should try to defy your DH on this issue.

[MrsReber]

DH does not hate cats. He owned cats as a child, along with dogs. He owned dogs and even a rabbit before we ever met. The cat was not a deal breaker in our relationship. When I moved in, my dog and cat came with me. To be honest, my dog was more of a problem than the cat was. As a matter of fact, we have a pony and are discussing getting some chickens.

Yes, yes, yes, I appreciate pets running on roads. I am annoyed that there are no leash laws around here. The reality is that a 5 and 6 year old are not always aware of what is going on around them. They are not bad kids, irresponsible kids or not taking care of the animals. They come get me when the dog gets out because they know he's not supposed to.

The lab would never dream of hurting these children. He warns them on occasion, but has never come close to hurting them, though they have climbed on him and bothered him and hurt him in some cases (again, not intentionally, just them being kids). No, I do not leave him unsupervised with my children because I am fully aware that 85lbs is more than 37lbs (DD's weight).

I guess this was just the wrong forum to ask this question. A lot of these replies have me looking like me, DH and my dog need counseling and that things are really out of control at the Reber household- me using animals as weapons, the dog tearing my arm off, animals running wild in the road. I am finding this quite amusing at this point. I'm not offended, I'm actually sitting here laughing. I have owned pets for 30 plus years. My last dog was 17 when she died. DH's last lab was 15 (pretty old for a lab) and my Bichon is currenty 15 and getting around just fine, even runs around outside. I assure you, things are basically calm at home. I work from home and am here 85% of the time. I am the primary caretaker of all breathing things in this house.

I appreciate the posts with suggestions and helfpul information.

[avariell]

I guess this was just the wrong forum to ask this question. A lot of these replies have me looking like me, DH and my dog need counseling and that things are really out of control at the Reber household- me using animals as weapons, the dog tearing my arm off, animals running wild in the road. I am finding this quite amusing at this point. I'm not offended, I'm actually sitting here laughing. I have owned pets for 30 plus years. My last dog was 17 when she died. DH's last lab was 15 (pretty old for a lab) and my Bichon is currenty 15 and getting around just fine, even runs around outside. I assure you, things are basically calm at home. I work from home and am here 85% of the time. I am the primary caretaker of all breathing things in this house.

I appreciate the posts with suggestions and helfpul information.

i think it sounds like this thread could go in the dictionary next to "context", huh? it is hard for me to remember that people on here probably don't/can't see the whole picture cuz we just get snippets of each others lives :) it sounds like you have a pretty good hold on the situation - regardless, good luck with whatever you decide :)

[luv2cook]

Please wait until the kittens are at least 8-10 weeks old before you take them from their mother. My experience has been that they learn a lot from mom during that time period. Being that these kittens are outside (if I'm not mistaken) you might take them a little earlier so that they don't learn too much about the outside.

Two is a good idea. They are so much fun to watch play. One litter box. Bleach it once a month - takes 5 min. Wipe and refill. Food, toys and a scratching post is all you need. You will love them and so will your DH....esp. as soon as one of them jumps on his chest and snuggles...

My DH was against me getting another kitten after Teko died. he knew how much I wanted one and gave in and he just loves the little guy...even if he did chew on the ends of his glasses in the middle of the night and run full force into his cpap another time...

[ljt2r]

Please wait until the kittens are at least 8-10 weeks old before you take them from their mother. My experience has been that they learn a lot from mom during that time period. Being that these kittens are outside (if I'm not mistaken) you might take them a little earlier so that they don't learn too much about the outside.

Two is a good idea. They are so much fun to watch play. One litter box. Bleach it once a month - takes 5 min. Wipe and refill. Food, toys and a scratching post is all you need. You will love them and so will your DH....esp. as soon as one of them jumps on his chest and snuggles...

My DH was against me getting another kitten after Teko died. he knew how much I wanted one and gave in and he just loves the little guy...even if he did chew on the ends of his glasses in the middle of the night and run full force into his cpap another time...

You know I am actually not a big fan of 2. Although they are adorable to watch, as you said, in my experience they bond more strongly to one another than they do to you.

[avariell]

You know I am actually not a big fan of 2. Although they are adorable to watch, as you said, in my experience they bond more strongly to one another than they do to you.

i have also heard from a few vets (i am positive this is a subject that many people/vets disagree on) that owning more than one cat in a confined area goes against "nature" since they are not typically pack animals or whatever you would call it.
it is a curious thing to ponder (and makes me wonder if that is why your cats had so many problems with each other, laura)

ETA: I just found this on wikipedia, which i realize isn't the world's best resource, but it is a good explanation of the difference between a pack animal like a dog and cats, which apparently are social...

Social behavior
Many people characterize cats as 'solitary' animals. Cats are highly social; a primary difference in social behavior between cats and dogs (to which they are often compared) is that cats do not have a social survival strategy, or a 'pack mentality'; however this only means that cats take care of their basic needs on their own (e.g., finding food, and defending themselves). This is not the same state as being asocial. One example of how domestic cats are 'naturally' meant to behave is to observe feral domestic cats, which often live in colonies, but in which each individual basically looks after itself.

Living with humans (and at times their pet dogs) is a symbiotic social adaptation which has developed over thousands of years. The sort of social relationship cats have with their human keepers is hard to map onto more generalized wild cat behavior, but it is certain that the cat thinks of the human differently than it does other cats (i.e., it does not think of itself as human, nor that the human is a cat). This can be seen in the difference in body and vocal language it uses with the human, when compared to how it communicates with other cats in the household, for example. Some have suggested that, psychologically, the human keeper of a cat is a sort of surrogate for the cat's mother, and that adult domestic cats live forever in a kind of extended kittenhood.[19]

With proper training and reinforcement of social behavior, poorly socialized cats can become more social over time.[citation needed] Older cats have also been reported to sometimes develop aggressiveness towards kittens, which may include biting and scratching; this type of behavior is known as Feline Asocial Aggression.[20]

[luv2cook]

You're right. This subject can go on and on. Cats will bond with you if they want to regardless of how many you have. My mom had one. He bonded. She got another several months later. He bonded with her. She has just now added a third -- poor little thing that has been on his own since he could barely walk, we understand. He's learning from the other two how to behave and from my mom, he's bonding.

In brief, I truly believe that it depends on their personality...just like every other living thing...

[ljt2r]

You're right. This subject can go on and on. Cats will bond with you if they want to regardless of how many you have. My mom had one. He bonded. She got another several months later. He bonded with her. She has just now added a third -- poor little thing that has been on his own since he could barely walk, we understand. He's learning from the other two how to behave and from my mom, he's bonding.

In brief, I truly believe that it depends on their personality...just like every other living thing...

You're not understanding me (not that that means I am right, but I do want to clarify). I also had 2 cats, both of whom bonded to me. I am referring to acquiring 2 very young kittens at the same time, especially littermates.

Laura

[Laurielee]

I did respond earlier about getting 2 cats is good. But now that I have read all of the threads and thought more about it, I would not get a pet without DH buying into it. I think its a great idea somone else said about taking him to the barn and seeing how your children react to the kittens. That may seal the deal. Other things to think about, for a lot of young children, taking responsility for a pet is a novelty that soons wear off. Are you prepared to take this on if this were to occur. And are you really prepared to take the task of a life long commitment raising kittens/cats.
The reason I ask this, I thought I was, I hounded DH forever to get a 3rd dog, I just have this need to take in a rescue dog. Well in the last 3 weeks I have done a lot of dog sitting with them staying at my house. I was not prepared for how it disrupted both my cat and dogs lives. ( and me too)

People can say oh they will get used to it, but for me, I thought, no I dont want them to get used to it, I want them to be happy so I told DH I wont bug him anymore and the subject is closed

Laurie

[MrsReber]

DH has been to the barn to see the kittens. We have had pets since before we ever met- I had a dog and cat, he had a dog. We are used to having more than one pet around. I previously had a cat for 17 years. Before that, we had 2 cats (strays that I adopted at the age of 11 after desperately trying to find their owners) and a dog. The pets again were my responsibility. My dog is 15 and obviously won't be around forever. I plan to always have pets so I don't see that the committment factor comes into play at all. I truly believe, having had both, that cats are much less work than dogs. Yes, I understand what it means to have pets. My kids have always had at least 2 animals in the house with them. DD started taking care of the pets in the way of feeding and brushing before she was 2. She loves animals as much as I did as a child.

Am I prepared to take on the responsibility should everyone else not like the animals anymore (quite unlikely- DH takes full responsibility for the lab, but I am with him all day as I am home working.)?? Yes, I have cared for animals on my own since I was 9. We got a dog after I begged for one and I was the only one to walk and feed and care for the dog- even took her to the rabies clinics by myself for her shots. The dog would not even leave the house without me It seems unlikely to me that DD would shirk her responsibility to these animals as she has proven herself so far. She's extremely responsible for a child of 6. DS will follow her lead, as I have seen.

[Laurielee]

Since you have your heart set on kittens, how about a trial period, bring them home and see how they do, DH can see if they are fitting in, and if not you promise to find them another home.

a concern I dont think was raised by anyone is how your lab will get along. The thing I would worry about is the lab chasing the kittens away into the street, but if you introduce them properly that shouldnt be a problem

I was worried when I was dog sitting this lab. She had never been around cats before and is also a hunting dog. My cat because I have dogs doesnt run away. He was laying on a chair and I brought the dog over, she had that look of ohh a duck and I am going to retrieve!. I said NO, then my cat just rolled on his back, and after that they got along.

[MrsReber]

Laurielee, I am wondering about the lab, too. I know he's scared of the cat next door. His hair stands up and he goes the other way when he sees the cat. He's such a baby. I agree, they need to be introduced properly.

Okay. so here's the scoop for those of you who care to know. I came home last night with the kids- we were at the church for VBS. I told DD that she hasn't been keeping up her part, telling daddy that she wants a kitten. So she finally said something about kittens being better than dogs. DH said "you want a kitten?" I told him we did. He said "it's just as well. I found another mouse." He's not totally into the idea and is a bit worried as to how it will all work out. But like I mentioned before, he was the same way with marriage and children. Most men that I meet like things to always stay the same and they fear change. I understand where they're coming from. It's clearly fear of the unknown. However, I think we got him to come around.

Really what I was looking for were suggestions. If he came up with an excuse, I wanted to have an answer ready for him. I appreciate all the positive input. I wasn't about to give up on the idea of getting a kitten or two, I just wanted to know what other people have experienced and what suggestions the may have. I've owned kittens and cats before, but there's always ideas that I haven't heard of and I thank those who posted some positive feedback.

Really, my family is not crazy. I'm a former vetrinary technician who has been around animals all her life. Don't waste any time being worried about my kids and my dog or me and my dog. I can handle that situation.

[ljt2r]

Okay. so here's the scoop for those of you who care to know. I came home last night with the kids- we were at the church for VBS. I told DD that she hasn't been keeping up her part, telling daddy that she wants a kitten. So she finally said something about kittens being better than dogs. DH said "you want a kitten?" I told him we did. He said "it's just as well. I found another mouse." He's not totally into the idea and is a bit worried as to how it will all work out. But like I mentioned before, he was the same way with marriage and children. Most men that I meet like things to always stay the same and they fear change. I understand where they're coming from. It's clearly fear of the unknown. However, I think we got him to come around.

Really what I was looking for were suggestions. If he came up with an excuse, I wanted to have an answer ready for him. I appreciate all the positive input. I wasn't about to give up on the idea of getting a kitten or two, I just wanted to know what other people have experienced and what suggestions the may have. I've owned kittens and cats before, but there's always ideas that I haven't heard of and I thank those who posted some positive feedback.

Really, my family is not crazy. I'm a former vetrinary technician who has been around animals all her life. Don't waste any time being worried about my kids and my dog or me and my dog. I can handle that situation.

I know I am one of the people who sounded worried (although I also addressed your actual question I think), and I just wanted to say that having read the rest of your comments, I am not worrying anymore--I think your initial post, possibly out of an attempt at being humorous--made your poor lab sound like a bit of a terror.

Anyway as far as your DH goes, my DH is so like that so I really get it. And then we have a period where I worry that I pushed him into something--and yes getting married and kids were like that too. So was our 3rd dog. The cat (ours just died, we won't get another one until we own and right now we rent) will be similar I am sure. So I am sorry this whole thread fixated on other stuff the way it did, and I am glad that he seems to be coming around. I personally enjoy having a mini zoo and I think it is great for kids. Be sure to tell us about the kitty when you get him or her.... FWIW, I have had one of each and while the male was much, MUCH friendlier he also had horrible peeing and spraying problems. So I have no idea which sex we will get next time. :rolleyes:

Laura :D

[armel]

Really what I was looking for were suggestions. If he came up with an excuse, I wanted to have an answer ready for him. I appreciate all the positive input. I wasn't about to give up on the idea of getting a kitten or two, I just wanted to know what other people have experienced and what suggestions the may have. I've owned kittens and cats before, but there's always ideas that I haven't heard of and I thank those who posted some positive feedback.

Oops. It seems like I totally misunderstood what you were asking in the original post. I'm glad it worked out for you.