Need advice-ADD/ADHD toddler?

[Shechef]

:confused: DD is 3 years old, and I have thought for a long time that she may be ADD/ADHD. She has all the signs that I know of-very hiper, jumps from one thing to the next, does not sit still for anything, proplems paying attention, always moving,touching, feeling, jumping, bouncing, and on ... The doctor says that it is too early to diagnose it officially, and has offered no help. She is already becoming a problem in pre-school and gymnastics class because of her not listening to instruction. I love that she is active and energetic, but she does not know how to wind down or focus. (Some have suggested that she is slightly autistic, but she has not specifically displayed autistic behavior.)
I am hoping that someone out there can offer some advice or some books to help with her behavior problems.
Has anyone been throught this with a toddler?? Sometimes we are ready to pull our hair out with frustration!
TIA,
Shannon

[stefania4]

Have any of her teachers spoken to you about her behavior? When she's at "quiet time" (e.g. story hour at the library), is her behavior more or less in line with the other children?

[Shechef]

FIRST day of pre-school, I was told that they have a problem getting her to sit still & follow instruction. Today was the first day of gymnastics, and they are already thinking of "kicking her out"! Well, not completely- they just may put her in a class with a younger group if she does not improve on taking orders. She is distraction for the other kids and they need to spend more time corraling her, and it takes time away from the other students. :(

[Robyn1007]

Not directly helpful but I have to say that if her gymnastics coaches are already talking about kicking her out after only one day that is worrisome to me. Not regarding your daughter but more regarding their ability to work with children. Children have good and bad days. As a coach, I would never dream of going that direction with a problem child until having seen a pattern for 2-3 sessions. Maybe you could offer to stay and assist a little just to help make sure she pays attention to her coaches?

[Terri_A]

It is highly unusual for a child to be diagnosed with ADD/ADHD prior to being school age. The reason for that is that the behaviors need to arise in multiple settings, not just at school or just at home, etc. Also, there is a lot of impulsivity in younger children anyway. It is not unusual for a toddler to not listen to directions, not sit still, etc.

Also, if preschool and gymnastics are both new things, which it sounds like they are, she made need more adjustment time than the other children. The weeone (now 5) was a child very similar to this. She was impossible at the start of a semester at both preschool and preK as well as gymnastics if there was a new coach. If it makes you feel better, we had a terrible first two weeks of kindergarten, but last week was a small improvement and I would bet that this week will be even better.

Keep in mind that change is hard at that age and maybe talking about what she should expect prior to school or gymnastics and ask her about how she feels about it. It could be as simple as her not fully understanding what's expected of her.

At any rate, I don't think she's that different from most kids her age. Hang in there!

[jellyben]

My son is now 10 and every teacher he has had since 3 years old has come to us within a week or 2 of school and told us he has attention and focusing issues. being eternal optimists :rolleyes: DH and I hoped he would outgrow but he has been on ADHD medication for a year with some improvement. I think our waiting too long has made the situation worse in terms of his overall mood and behavior, his self-esteem and his grades. Not that I would have put him on meds at age 3, but we should have done something earlier than we did.

I will have to look for some of the books I read when he was little(we just moved and the books are still in boxes) but a friend just recommended Mel Levine's books(I am not sure if thet are geared toward older kids)

Please PM me if you would like more info. I think some kids just take longer to settle into the routine of preschool and organized activities, but you are doing the right thing by researching and gathering info now!

[Becky13347]

Seeing that you live in the Chicago suburbs, I would recommend seeing some other doctors. You have plenty of places to choose from. She may not be ADD/ADHD but to rely on one doctor's advice may not be the best thing either. You might want to try a developmental pediatrician. They take a long time to get into but it would be well worth it to either a) eliminate ADD/HD or autism spectrum or b) get her a diagnonsis so you can begin any therapies she may need.

You might want to look into other gymnastics classes as well. Is she really so difficult that after one class they would say she needs to be "kicked out"? If she is then the doctor should be concerned, if she isn't then you need a new gymnastics class!

Good Luck. 3 is a difficult age! They are so active and opinionated! I never thought I'd survive my DDs when they were 3.

[helios7]

I'm sorry that you're having such difficulties teaching the world how to work with your daughter. I work with pre-school aged children (3-5) who are diagnosed with special needs and receive services, so it actually isn't too early to begin exploring your child's situation.

I second the suggestion to seek another doctor, and if you are truly concerned you might want to consider an evaluation. An evaluation would give you a more global view of your child's strengths and weaknesses, and if there are services which could be helping your child you will receive them.

Finally, do you know about Sensory Processing Disorder? Children who have sensory processing disorder often behave in the ways that you have described your daughter behaving. I did a quick google search for information, and found this site http://www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/ Again, this disorder may have nothing to do with your child but I have taught children with sensory processing disorder and they often present with the behaviors you are describing. They cannot sit, cannot focus and are constantly in motion particularly touching, feeling, and grabbing in order to increase the stimulation that the world provides them. There is an excellent book "The Out of Synch Child" by Carol Stock Kranowitz, if you want more information.

Good luck! I hope you find the resources and qualified people to help your daughter become a success in group situations!

[wwhirledpeas]

I agree with Karen - We too had advance warning of things to come. In our case it was swim class.

I think one of the big problems is that ADD children, very early on, get comfortable being different.

If I could have a "do over" I would have started earlier when I knew something was wrong, to investigate....and I would have held him back another year before starting kindergarden...but, that's another story.

Something that has not been mentioned by others is food. I really wish that early on I would have watched diet more closely. There are a lot of good books out there like Feeding the Brain: How Foods Affect Children. It's an area that I now know that it's not bunk.

[BeachBum]

Something that has not been mentioned by others is food. I really wish that early on I would have watched diet more closely. There are a lot of good books out there like Feeding the Brain: How Foods Affect Children. It's an area that I now know that it's not bunk.

This is an area I would start learning about as well. I second the suggestion of finding a new ped.

[AvrilH]

I agree with everyone's sound advice. If your instincts are telling you you need more help, get out there and get it! Sooner is always best.

However, your DD sounds a LOT like my middle son. He is now 9 and in grade 4. I am lucky enough to have a close friend who is a PhD with a specialty in ADD and ADHD. I cannot tell you how often I asked her about my DS. (If I had not had her sound advice and trusted opinion, I would have been dragging him to docs, too).

Anyway - he started calming down a bit by age 4, and had a wonderful Kinder teacher who calmly recognized he was never going to be a sit still and listen to every word kid. She made a huge difference! Your daughter is obviosuly not the lemming type, and her educators and leaders may have to put some effort in to teach her and guide her. (Something those gym coaches sound like they're not ready/able to do).

As for our role, to help him learn to concentrate, we found tasks he loved. He did A LOT of lego starting at age 4. Now he is into art, and I indulge him with art supplies.... by pursuing things he loves he has become more able to sit (not still, though, he still vibrates) and concentrate (most of the time!) for other things. He started piano at 5, and honestly couldn't concentrate for 5 minutes straight. Yesterday we worked for 45 minutes without a break.

We also spent a lot of time working on his listening skills at home, and role-played a lot to impress upon him the need for cooperation. (This was also necessary bc he was being moderately aggressive :()

All of these things have been very successful in settling him down and giving him the skills he needs to participate in school and activities. Now when I meet his teachers, I just tell them that they have to make sure they actually get his attention before they can expect him to be listening (as my DH says, you must clear the dial tone). Otherwise he is an angel of a student who works 10x harder than the kids whose internal dials aren't turned up so high.

He's still high high energy, but as he is older he is finding more positive ways (i.e. sports) to burn it off.

Good luck. Whether or not your DD is diagnosed with ADD or something else, you are obviously a loving and concerned Mom who will be able to support her as she needs it. At the end of the day, that is what she will need most.

[gardenmom]

My son has a borderline case of sensory processing disorder or senory integration dysfunction, and The Out of Synch Child
was like a textbook for his early life. He never stopped moving since he could commando crawl at 4 months, had trouble napping and settling for night, had problems with eating, quick to upset, not a good adapter to new situations, and the list goes on.

We tried to wait it out, let him grow out of it. At 4 we thought this all went on too long, he wasn't changing.

We started by asking his pediatrician, and she referred us to the Kranowitz book and to a book on ADD (her son had some sensory issues, so we were lucky to have her experience.)so The Out of Synch Child was shocking in that it described our experiences so closely from birth to preschool years; I couldn't put it down, I read the whole book in one sitting until past 2 in the AM. The ADD book just didn't describe this particular child.

We next talked to his teachers and school director about what they thought about his behavior, ability to cope for his age, etc. They saw a few things, which we then relayed to the developmental psychologist we saw for screening. She couldn't diagnose till past 5, but she was pretty confident since he was able to focus on many tasks under observation, that he wasn't ADD.

We next were referred to occupational therapists that dealt with the autism spectrum and Sensory Dysfunctions, and had testing (2- two hour tests with an OT.) We also completed some extensive questionnaires, and then had some more specific tests as those results were tallied to pinpoint the areas of difficulty.

All of this info was a relief and very helpful. My son is 7 now, in 1st grade. We chose his elementary school and kept him on the older side of the class in light of the info. we had. We completed one year in OT, about 1 1/2 times per week on average. This made a difference, and overall we learned how he needed to move to relieve the stress he felt from being overstimulated.

I'm glad we attacked these problems at 4. We learned coping skills, and he is very well adjusted in elementary school, and did wonderfully in Kindergarten. There still are some funky things he gets bugged by, but I talk to the teachers a lot just to check in, and a few times his sensory stuff was a slight issue;the solutions were easy to find with the teacher.

Mostly, we have learned he needs to move (and when he was young, classes were a disaster, going to the park with parents or a babysitter was the best, as well as swimming with mom and dad). We even installed a big backyard swing set to climb, slide, twirl, swing, do monkey bars, and a big trampoline that the whole family would jump on daily (sometimes even before school to calm him down.) His energy has made him very strong, and he's turning into a good runner, a good swimmer, and possibly a good soccer player.

Hang in there, trust your instincts.

Sorry about the long post, but this is an issue close to my heart, and it was a long journey (not without tears.)

Good luck (they calm down a lot by 6!)

[gabbyh]

Shannon,

I'm a child & adolescent psychiatric RN by profession, although I left the clinical setting 5 years ago when we moved to South Florida...I now work in the nutraceutical field, and I so wish I would have had all the knowledge I now have on supplements back when I was working with kids, instead of just pushing medications, which is the quick fix.

I've linked a few articles below that I hope will give you info on alternatives that you can try that are very safe for children, and there are a ton of studies at the end of the articles where you can pull up more info:

http://www.lef.org/LEFCMS/aspx/PrintVersionMagic.aspx?CmsID=113013

http://search.lef.org/LEFCMS/aspx/PrintVersionMagic.aspx?CmsID=113600

As a side note...when we moved from PA to South Florida, the house we were renting was not in living condition (no kitchen OR bathroom, but that's another story:rolleyes: ) and we had to live with my sister and her family for a few months while my husband did some work...my niece Olivia was 3 at the time, and had just started nursery school...now, my sister and her husband are both very experienced teachers... and my sister calls me one day at work in tears telling me one of the nursery school teachers thinks Olivia needs to be tested for Autism...

With out going into all the details of this, let me just say that Olivia turned 8 last week, and reads at a 7th grade level...and is a perfectly normal child...

It's very important to seek out very experienced professionals that do up-to-date testing...and there are many wonderful programs that can provide early intervention...YOU know your child best.

I wish you the best.

~Gail