Let's stop apologising...

[lorilei]

I don't want anyone to take this the wrong way, but I've noticed something interesting about these boards... We apologise an awful lot.

We apologise for not being "CL" enough.
We apologise for eating too much cheese.
We apologise for leaving the skin on our chicken.
We apologise for being people who love an occasional indulgence.

And we shouldn't be apologising.

I think we're ALL here because we're trying to maintain a healthy diet. We're paying attention to what our bodies need, and trying to adjust our lifestyles to accomodate that. That's wonderful!

But at the same time, let's not apologise for taking some enjoyment out of life. Let's celebrate that. And let's celebrate being in a community with individuals who share a love for good (and healthy) food.

http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif Lorilei - who is trying to get away from that bad habit of apologising "too much".

[Gail]

Was I apologizing? I'm sorry. http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/tongue.gif

[JJ40]

Gail, you crack me up!! http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif

Lorilei, you are absolutely right. And you know, if this BB were dominated by men rather than women, I bet you wouldn't see nearly as much apologizing. We don't have to apologize for enjoying some of the finer things in life!!!

[Beth Y]

Funny, Lorelei, now that you mention it, we probably do. Then again, I don't get a feeling that anyone takes all of this TOO seriously! Also, you may notice that is hasn't stopped many people from "confessing their sins" so to speak....you know, "sorry this is not a CL type recipe, but here is a really great recipe for (insert decadant dessert, etc.)" Oh, well.

I have noticed, and I hesitate to say this as it usually makes it come true, but this is the most civilized board I have frequented. I have been on gardening boards, travel boards where most of the people seem pretty great, but there always seem to be a few that are snitty to everybody. Here, we tend to go the other way, going out of our way not to offend (I too am happy for that new edit function!). I agree with you about apologizing, but, hey, it beats the opposite!!!!!! (Gee, I am getting a little weepy here.........)

[lorilei]

Very funny Gail... http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/wink.gif

I am serious, though. It's a real shame to spend our lives apologising for doing something we truly enjoy. Or even for thinking of it as something for which we must "confess".

And yes, we are quite civilised here. Let's keep it that way. http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif But, with no apologies for pleasantries.

[Mamasue]

http://members.home.net/rw51/Harriet-Veil-sm.gif

Here I am dancing to the song "Celebrate". I had to do this. I started to say "sorry" for doing this and then I caught myself! Hehe http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/biggrin.gif. I think too that its just part of our vocabulary or nature and most of the time we say the word without really noticing it. We are a great group of people here who share not only recipes but emotions, concerns and most of all life. This is a place that I love to come and visit on a daily basis even though I don't always have something to say or share. I am thankful for having such a great group of people to talk and listen to on the "net". Thank you to each of you for being part of this family and for CL for creating this for us. http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif

[This message has been edited by Mamasue (edited 08-17-2000).]

[Ohioan]

Mamasue, amen, amen, amen! (Or should that be awomen?) This is a great board with great people -- not to mention great recipes. I love coming here. Keep dancing!
Phoebe

[Gail]

Gee, I missed your graphics, Sue... I love the picture!

[christinew]

Hahahaha...I am sorry I am just now posting to this! Great comments. We are engineered as women to apologize, according to my psych background!

Cheers,
Christine http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif

[Susann]

Mamasue, the graphic made me smile. I am back at school, so I haven't been to the board in several days and the lovely dancing diva was just what I needed!

[nanadee]

Mamasue's graphic is great....I ate pizza for dinner and feel like the picture looks.

[Mamasue]

HeHe.....its not easy keeping those chin whiskers plucked either!!!! http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/biggrin.gif http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/biggrin.gif

[Connie]

I love your dancing, Mamasue!! I have not always been able to see all the graphics on the board, so I'm glad I can see this!
I, too, enjoy my time spent here. It's great to be able to talk about food with everyone. Thanks.

[Peggy]

Lorilei,

I am guilty as charged! I confessed today that I left my chicken skin on with the Lemon Curd Chicken recipe and probably was the catalyst for your post. You are absolutely right. Ladies - Leave that chicken skin on for that recipe!! The lemon curd makes an incredible crust. It is so delicious. I had some leftovers for lunch and was in heaven.

I will seriously try to reduce my apologizing habit in the future. Lorilei, thank you for addressing the subject. I think we all get intimidated by the "Cooking Light" title of the bulletin board.

Peggy

[Gail]

I'm going to do something you'll never expect and go serious on you for a moment. I thought about what you've said, Lori, and in theory it's completely right. A person shouldn't have to apologize for his or her beliefs or for being who he (or she) is. That would be absurd. But-- I have to keep in mind where I am. This is Cooking Light, where people come for help maintaining a healthy lifestyle. So, if I'm posting a recipe I feel may not be adhering to CL's philosophy, I'm not apologizing for liking my recipe or for my unhealthy eating style-- I'm apologizing to person who is looking for help, saying "Maybe this isn't exactly what you're looking for, but I tried..." The way I see it, it's not a manner of compromising myself, rather a simple matter of good manners.

You guys are all great. I very much enjoy our interchanges, our sillyness and our occasional lapses into "evil." http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/biggrin.gif I would much rather apologize too much, than to unintentionally offend anyone by not apologizing at all.

'nuff said. Now I'm gonna go back to my bad puns and stupid comments.



[This message has been edited by Gail (edited 08-17-2000).]

[Peggy]

Gail,

FYI - I love your posts and your input. You are absolutely delightful!!

Your Fellow Californian,

Peggy

[Holly S]

Well Folks, I love this topic..... My sister and I are convinced that we are guilt junkies, and overworry (is that even a word?!?!) that we will offend someone. Hence our need to completely go over board to apologize in advance for some, perhaps, may happen, possiblity that we may inadvertantly, mistakenly in some small way....well you get the picture..... So thanks Lori for making us all share, without knowing you were doing it, how much we all enjoy everyones input, and have found a place to share with people who enjoy a lost art and pasttime with us. Food, and its multi-faceted preparations, and the joy of getting feedback on it!

[MrsReber]

Well, you just know I have to get my two cents in here. I agree with all of these posts (especially the dancing hippo). I think that a love of good food and cooking goes along with caring, generous people. The art of making a great dinner and sharing it with your family and friends, gathered around the table discussing your day- it's all part of the European heritage. In Italy, the place to gather is the kitchen. Enjoy the food and the company. (Usually, the kitchen turns into the gathering place whenever I see relatives- my mom, my dad, my brother) So I think that's why we are all such nice people. Plus the fact that we all are so enthused about certain recipes that we want to share them with everyone. I love everyone here. You guys are the best and I'd love to hang out in the kitchen with all of you and share and eat food all day- but since we can't do that, this is the next best thing! And about all that guilt and aplogizing- it's our nature and we're stuck with it. I think our moms passed it down to us.

I am addicted to this board as well. I have to see it at least once a day! And remember ladies, it is entitled "Great Food", which includes all kinds of foods!

[This message has been edited by MrsReber (edited 08-18-2000).]

[lindrusso]

Originally posted by Gail:
But-- I have to keep in mind where I am. This is Cooking Light, where people come for help maintaining a healthy lifestyle. So, if I'm posting a recipe I feel may not be adhering to CL's philosophy, I'm not apologizing for liking my recipe or for my unhealthy eating style-- I'm apologizing to person who is looking for help, saying "Maybe this isn't exactly what you're looking for, but I tried..." The way I see it, it's not a manner of compromising myself, rather a simple matter of good manners.

[This message has been edited by Gail (edited 08-17-2000).]

Good point Gail. It is nice to give someone the heads up non-light recipes when sharing on this board - sometimes I say something and sometimes I assume it's obvious - like my cookie post!!

I suppose the apologizing stems from the fact that we feel like we're indulging in "guilty pleasures". But isn't the fact that we feel a little "bad" when we eat these "forbidden" foods part of the fun???

(And I put bad and forbidden in quotes to emphasize that that's how we feel, not that they are, in fact, bad or forbidden - just want to make that clear!)

I also love this board and I think we have a WONDERFUL exchange. In fact, I think I'm totally addicted. It's so nice to find others that are as passionate about food and cooking.

[Zinnia]

Hi,
Just thought I'd add my 2 cents since I don't get to visit here often/lately. I agree with everyone, (and now realize why I miss all of ya so much! sniff!). This place is awesome, and I think it's unique because of everyone here, and people who join everyday. Whether it be cooking-recipes, advice, tips, problems, or we are in need of help, we know where to come. With that-- TY to everyone here! http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif Zinnia
What's up w/ the Jr. Member stuff?? When will I earn my new badge?! Lol! Take care everyone, http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif Zinnia

[Gail]

Originally posted by Zinnia:
Hi,
What's up w/ the Jr. Member stuff?? When will I earn my new badge?! Lol! Take care everyone, http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif Zinnia

Looks like you're about halfway to member (you need 50 posts.) You'll just have to make a point of stopping by more often again!
http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif

[lorilei]

Amen - and yes, lindarusso! http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif
And good point, Gail!

This board is a wonderful place to come in the midst of a hectic day -- and it's a place where I'd like to think we all feel at home and able to express ourselves. And I'd like to be able to come here without feeling as if I have to apologise for posting a recipe with butter in it...

But there too, maybe I come too much from a generation whose motto is:
Just Be.
Just Do It.
No Apologies.
IMHO, we've been all too conditioned to apologise for who we are, rather than living life our own way, taking responsibility for our actions, and allowing others to "be" as they choose. Maybe I'm just against apologies because they get to be so commonplace. They no longer mean anything, but they sound nice.

I certainly do not want anyone to think that I want to abolish common courtesies on these boards http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif In fact, just the opposite -- I want to encourage us to THANK one another, to be kind, to share, to enjoy each other's company. And -- to be adventurous!!

I really didn't mean to offend anyone with this thread, or insinuate that we shouldn't explain ourselves or our recipes. But apologising insinuates wrongdoing... and that's what I'm trying to avoid.

It's probably the English major in me -- being hypersensitive to symantics.



[This message has been edited by lorilei (edited 08-18-2000).]

[cookgirl]

*********************************************
Originally posted by lorilei:

I certainly do not want anyone to think that I want to abolish common courtesies on these boards http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif In fact, just the opposite --

I really didn't mean to offend anyone with this thread, or insinuate that we shouldn't explain ourselves or our recipes.

It's probably the English major in me -- being hypersensitive to symantics.

*********************************************


I'm sorry Lorilei...but are you apologizing?
Hee hee.

To resolve your semantics issue:

APOLOGY (definition#2 in Oxford American Dictionary): an explanation or defense of one's beliefs.

It could just be an explanation...to help someone, who may not be like you, to better understand you!

I do understand your point though. I AM NOT SORRY TO SAY THAT I LOVE CHEESE AND CHOCOLATE AND BUTTER,ETC!!!!!
My hips, on the other hand, are very sorry!!!!

HA!


[This message has been edited by lorilei (edited 08-18-2000).][/B]



[This message has been edited by cookgirl (edited 08-18-2000).]

[debg]

Guilty as charged.....

[SandyDee]

Loved this thread and don't see that there is much left to be said. I too love these boards and even when I am not posting I am lurking. Must visit everyday even if it is just for a couple of minutes to check out what's up. Mrs.Reber loved your post, I agree this is almost like sitting around our kitchens visiting and I think that the people on this site are the best. Oh and by the way, Beth... Cheese and Chocolate? Don't know anyone who can live with out these two, and don't know anyone who would want to. You are in good company http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif

[Vanessa]

Love the hippo and this thread. Zinnia hope you soon make it to member http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif
I think we apologize because a recipe might not be as "light" or healthy but it might be delicious. This is my favorite web site and ALL of you are great. We all talk, discuss, share and enjoy and learn from each other. I just love it!!!

[Beth]

I just erased the long message I was about to post, and I'll let it suffice to say that I echo Gail's comments. I hope to show courtesy to others if I may not be giving them quite what they asked for, and I'll probably point out recipes that may not be light or readily lightened by obvious substitiutions but that are worth it, but I'm not going to appologize for who I am or what I like. It's my life, and even though my life's report card may not score a perfect 100, I hope I'll have an "A". Think they grade on a curve?

[Beth]

Oops, meant to edit, but as for cheese and chocolate, I don't apologize -- I attribute. I'm half Dutch. Could I live without cheese or chocolate?