It's time to embarass ourselves again....

[lindrusso]

I seem to be stuck on the embarassment themes, but my new question is:

What is the most embarassing mistake or biggest blunder you've ever made in the kitchen???

Well, I'm sure I have many, but the most embarassing thing (or maybe just plain most stupid!!!!) I've ever done has to do with the toaster. My mother bought me one of those little things that you can press into bread so that your toast will have a message or a design (mine was a heart that said "I love you"). The embarassing part is that I put the press IN THE TOASTER WITH THE BREAD!!! I have no idea what ever possessed me to do this???!!!!!

Of course there are the many times I've forgotten ingredients - most notably the time I left the peanut butter out of the peanut butter cup cookies - but they just came out like sugar cookies. Not as bad as my sister-in-law who forgot the tuna in her tuna casserole.

The blunder that made me the maddest was when I had patiently caramelized onions as a topping for rolls - it took a while to do the onions and for the rolls to rise - and as I put it in the oven they fell on the floor - urgh!!!

And one time I had to laugh at my husband who was making Fra Diavlo and patiently sat and chopped a half cup of garlic (or more!!) - he hit himself in the head when I asked why in the world he hadn't used the mini-prep!!!!

Care to share????

[SandyDee]

Okay I need to preface mine. The first one was when I was quite young and just started drinking ice tea and I was in the break room with a glass of ice water and a tea bag sitting in it until someone came in and asked me what I was doing. Talk about just a tad red in the face. The other one was the night of my first dinner party and I was racing around trying to make everything turn out just right I went to pour the coffee and realized that I didn't put any coffee in the filter. So I just had hot water. I also have to confess that everyone in my family has at one time or another made a big holiday meal and then after the meal is over they go in the kitchen and find that they left one of the side dishes still in the kitchen. Go figure atleast I come by it naturally. http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/eek.gif

[Natasha]

Lindrusso,
I m glad you come up with these topics because the responses are so entertaining. http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif
My biggest oops was probably when I made a quiche that I was all excited about, and that seemed to be coming along perfectly. When the quiche seemed done, I reached into the oven to take it out. Unfortunately (I must have been daydreaming in a major way), I had forgotten to put on the oven mitts! OUCH!! http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/frown.gif I held the pan for a few seconsds in shock and then dropped it (it didn t break, if that s any consolation). I experienced some pretty bad pain and swelling in both hands for a couple of days, despite the efforts of my doctor and whatever medicated creams I could get my hands on (no pun intended).
On that note, I DO intend to make that onion quiche from the August issue - I ll just be extra careful!

[This message has been edited by Natasha (edited 07-27-2000).]

[julia]

When I was 16 I was staying with this family I was babysitting for. I decided to make a cake one afternoon. The two little boys decided they wanted to watch the cake bake - well, they pulled chairs up to the stove and sat there quietly for a long time, then a very long time. I went to check why the cake wasn't baking - and discovered the oven had died.

At least it kept the kids quiet http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif

On another note, Natasha, years ago (before we met) my husband was visiting friends out of town and picked up a hot trivet from the stove and really burned his hand. Apparently his friend applied fresh aloe vera sap to it and his hand cleared up enough so he could drive home. We've always kept an aloe vera plant in the kitchen near the stove, just in case.

[This message has been edited by julia (edited 07-27-2000).]

[nanadee]

As a young bride, I couldn't wait to have my parents over for dinner. I made what I thought would be a great meal and at the last minute I decided to make yeast rolls. When I took them out of the oven, I noticed they were kind of flat. I thought they would be ok and I placed them on the table with the rest of my dinner. My parents each took one, tired it and just looked at each other. When I asked them what was wrong, they told me my rolls were the best hockey pucks they had ever tasted. That was almost 30 years ago & I still get teased about them.

[Laura B]

Well, other than what I did just an hour ago, I cannot think of any humorous ones. A lovely Lemon-Swirled Cheesecake with a Nilla Wafer crust (from the Fresh Strawberry Pie recipe) now peacefully bakes in my oven. Getting it there, however, was a trick. In the midst of mixing, I realized that I had used all of my sugar when I made the crust. I made the crust using sugar from one of those canisters. I reached for my 5lb bag of sugar to get the 1 and 3/4 cup for the filling and there was no bag there! And of course the canister now only had about a quarter cup. I even asked my neighbor for sugar and she had none. UGH! I absolutely hate going to the store in the middle of cooking. My husband will usually go when things like this happen, but he wasn't here. I bet I looked pretty mean storming down the baking aisle and snatching up some sugar, LOL.

My mom was making her yummy Pepper Steak dish one night and I was sitting at the kitchen counter talking to her as she cooked. I watched her put baking soda in it without saying a word (I didn't know any better - turns out it was supposed to be baking powder). Then we watched as the whole thing started bubbling! She had to throw it away. Who knows what we did for dinner that night, probably grilled cheese sandwiches!

[This message has been edited by Laura B (edited 07-27-2000).]

[melisa]

I can't believe I'm admitting this! Last year we were sent some Alaskan King crab legs. My husband and I went to the store and purchased some "crab boil". I've never seen this product before,so upon opening it, the aroma was incredible. Needless to say, I put the bag of seasoning right up to my nose and took the biggest wiff, I could muster. My nose not only bled but burned for days! I never got to eat the crab as I had ice and ice cubes stuck up my nose the the entire evening! I learned that night that "crab boil" primarily consists of peppers!
Melissa

[lindrusso]

Okay so here I am answering my own post... http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/rolleyes.gif

But, I remembered a funny thing I saw - I think it was on America's Funniest Home Videos or something. The clip was of a woman who had cooked her very first Thanksgiving turkey and she was carving it ceremoniously. As she carved she commented that it "even came with its own stuffing!". Her family members expressed some disbelief and went to investigate. You guessed it - she had cooked the turkey with the "innards" bag inside and thought it was stuffing. Yuck! And it was all on tape for her and her family to relive each and every Thanksgiving thereafter!!

And then there was my friend who used to think that you had to preheat the microwave!! http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/wink.gif

[KimKelly]

Ok... my husband still teases me about this.

I had read that if you bake bread with steam in the oven it will make the crust of the bread "crustier". One of the tips for making steam was to put an empty pan in the cold oven and let it heat up as the oven heats. I did this and then put my precious bread (one that I had been preparing for two days... ) into the oven below it. Silly me, I put in a pyrex pan ... you are probably ahead of me. My trusty pyrex glass pan heated up and baked there until I poured some cool water into it... it sat there for a second and then just shattered all over my bread below it! I never thought about the cool water on the hot glass. Believe me, I'll never do that again!

Kim

[Cathy]

I had taken a Mexican cooking class where we made a shredded fresh parsnip salad that was quite refreshing and different. When I went to the supermarket to buy parsnips, I accidently picked up horseradish by mistake. Yup, you guessed it. I shredded the horseradish and made a whole salad. My husband took one bite and his head almost exploded! I usually taste as I go to make sure the dish is seasoned properly, but for some reason I didn't this time so I had no idea I made such a mistake! This is my all time screw up.

[Ohioan]

Oh, dear, why are we admitting to such monstrosities? Well, here goes.... It was my first year in the Air Force. I had just moved off base into a house with a brand-new kitchen, complete with my first electric stove (I'd always used gas before), and I invited my Commander and his wife to dinner. For this special occasion, I decided to make my famous lasagna that takes almost a whole day to put together. I assembled it in my largest Corningware casserole, slipped it into the oven, turned on the oven (as I thought), and went about my business. A half hour later, I went to check on the progress of the lasagna and discovered that the casserole was stone-cold. Later, I realized that I'd set the temperature and timer of the oven, but I hadn't turned it on; that should have been done with another switch that I didn't even know about.

So there I was, with my company due in less than an hour, and an oven that for some reason wasn't working. The only thing I could do was cover the casserole and try to cook it on top of the stove. Well, you've probably guessed what the next disaster was: the bottom burned, and although I left the burned part behind in the pot and carefully served out the rest of the lasagna, a strong taste of char permeated the whole mess.

I don't remember whether I ever redeemed myself by cooking a better meal for those people afterward, but the shame of that lasagna has haunted me for (gulp) the past 29 years. http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/frown.gif

[Beth H]

Well, it is pretty embarassing. When I was first married, I made a dinner of pasta shells stuffed with ricotta cheese and sausage in one of those Pyrex portable pans (the kind that keep food warm, have a plastic top). The recipe said, "bake covered," so I thought, well, I'll just cover the pan with its plastic top instead of wasting some foil. Needless to say, when I checked on them after about 1/2 hour, the plastic top had melted into the shells and was all stringy and gooey. We ordered pizza out, and my Pyrex portable was history (although I was able to salvage the pan itself).

[Kristilyn1]

Thanks for the laugh ladies!!! Anyone else think that CL should have a section in the magazine every month for these stories <HINT HINT> Maelynn.

I laughed myself silly over Cathie's horseradish incident--and we wonder why some of the husbands won't try new recipes?!

I totally can relate to Laura B and the storming down the aisles of supermarkets for ingredients in the middle of cooking--and pity the poor fool at the grocery store that cannot explain why THEY HAVE NO SPINACH!!! Making me have to drive to another store!

I know I have had cooking disasters before--the banana bread with no flour comes to mind. But my biggest kitchen mishap didn't actually have all that much to do with cooking. Back when I was a single, hip chick--my sister and I hosted a HUGE party in our little apartment. I kept coming across people making what I suspected were long distance calls on our phone and being hip chicks with no money, I decided to hide the phone. Well, of course I was inebriated and could not remember where the phone was the next day. We kept pushing the button on the phone that makes the cordless emit a beep, in theory, helping you to find it. Well, we kept hearing a very low beeping--so we knew the phone was in the apartment,but darn if we could find it! Several days went by and as I was the cook in the apartment, I was making a Shepards Pie (the poor hip chick dinner--cheap, lots of leftovers--but NEVER consumed in front of men) and I preheated the oven while I finished putting it together. You guessed it, I smell this awful smell--open the oven and there was the phone! Melted beyond recognition.

Kristi

[Ohioan]

This is a hilarious thread! But Maelynn, is there any way to break to a new page before 35 replies on this one? The stories are getting so long that we'll probably overload the server before we hit the 35! http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif

[SueK]

My culinary skills have come a long way since I got married, but when my husband and I were newlyweds, I decided to make a special dish for him. I don't remember what the dish was, but it called for a large amount of green onions. I went to the store and got all the ingredients. (So I thought). I made this dish for dinner that night, and my husband took one bite and got this weird look on his face. I tried it then, and it was awful! Turns out I had bought dandelions, because I thought they were green onions!
It took awhile before my husband would try any more of my concoctions.

[MrsReber]

Wow, what a bunch of funny stories! My husband, darling man that he is, likes to share my blunders with the world when they happen. I make this beef stroganoff recipe every so often in the colder months. I get such a craving for the sauce with the noodles. Yummy. Well, I have rather long hair and I get so busy in the kitchen that I foget to tie it back alot of the time. He took my beef stroganoff leftovers to work and while he was eating, noticed something stringy. He pulled it out of his mouth and it was a peice of my hair, wrapped around a peice of beef about a hundred times! He's pulling it out and the peice of beef is twirling around in his mouth as the hair came unravelled! In front of the guys at work! Eeeew. It also happened to him with a cookie- you think I would learn by now! And to think I almost brought those cookies to my in-laws for Christmas! Someday I will remember to always tie it back.

Then there's the time I was steaming some artichokes and my mother in law was coming for dinner. I was so busy chatting with her, that I didn't realize the pot had run out of water! I realized it as soon as I smelled it. The bottom of the pot was so black! The artichokes were ruined! The house stunk! My husband had to go out in his "shop" (the garage) and try to find some way to salvage the pot. He did manage somehow with some sort of hard wire brush.

Kristi, I had to laugh at your story. I bought a house a few years ago and I'd invite my friends over for parties and we may have drank a little too much on occasion. Well, somebody (possibly me) used the cordless phone and then rested it on the burner on the electric stove (hate electric!). And then someone (possibly me again) turned on the burner because she thought she might warm up some food, then promptly forgot that she had turned on the burned until it turned red. Unfortunately this person (most likely me) didn't realize the phone was still there. Well, I did salvage the phone, but it never quite fit on the base the same way. It wasn't easy to charge it! But even more embarrassing was having to explain the charred phone whenever someone wanted to borrow it! I used it for quite a while as money was a wee bit tight at that time. I think my mom finally bought me a new one for Christmas.

[Susann]

What funny posts!!

I can probably fill this board up with silly things I have done in the kitchen, but probably the biggest goof was when I was in college. I really had no CLUE what I was doing, but I had some friends over for dinner. I wanted to impress them and make a good marinated chicken breast. So I took the chicken from the freezer and plopped the block of chicken in the marinade, acting like I knew what I was doing. One of my friends finally broke it to me that you have to thaw the chicken first. oooooooopppps

[kendra]

Last year, I decided to make Shrimp Caesar Salad with Pesto Crostini. I had a bag of frozen, peeled and deveined shrimp. Well, in my mind the shrimp were cooked also. I do realize that shrimp are bright pink when cooked - for some reason I had convinced myself that all I had to do with the shrimp was thaw it. With all the other preparation going on (making crostini, making dressing, etc.), I failed to register that I did have to cook the shrimp and proceeded to dump the raw shrimp on top of the salad and take the dish out to my waiting hungry husband. Needless to say, he noticed the problem right away. We managed to remove the shrimp (and shrimp-tainted salad) and cook them. The dish was then very good, despite my temporary brain malfunction!

[JeanneW]

I love these stories. Isn't it great to know we're not alone?

The one that comes to mind for me is when I made a lemon poppy-seed pound cake for an office potluck. The recipe calls for a combination of cinnamon and sugar to be put in the bottom of the bundt pan and it forms kind of a crusty top. Well, the cake baked fine and looked and smelled beautiful. I served it at the lunch and it had a weird taste. It wasn't until late that afternoon that realized I had mixed cinnamon and salt instead of cinnamon and sugar. Whoops!

My grandmother had a reputation as one of those cooks who never makes a mistake. She was very intimidating to her daughters and daughters-in-law. During a big family dinner, Grandma was ready to pull the roast out of the oven but couldn't find her oven mitts. She tore the house apart looking for them and finally had to use towels to get the pan out of the oven. Later, during clean-up, my mother discovered the missing oven mitts - in the refrigerator. She still laughs at that story.

And then there was the Thanksgiving that Grandma turned to put the turkey on the table and the silly bird slid right off the platter onto the floor! She washed it off and served it, but I don't remember having turkey over there again!

[LIsaP]

I have another Thanksgiving story!
This year, as a new birde, I decided to have my inlaws over. I insisted on doing everything myself. I made a wonderful orange glaze for the turkey, stuck the meat thermometer in and started cooking.

Once the thermometer reached the correct temp, I took the turkey out and let it cool a bit until we were ready to eat. I proudly presented the knife to my new father in law who began to carve the turkey only to find that it was pink inside! Needless to say, I was completely embarrased and quickly received a lesson from my mother in law, who was only too happy to tell me all about the proper cooking techniques for turkey!

We proceeded to eat the rest of the dishes and ate turkey a few hours later for dessert!

[karen w]

Well I've had my share of kitchen memories,too! My most recent was with homemade pizza. I made the dough, put it in an oiled bowl in the oven to rise for an hour(oven turned off). This is where I always put my yeast doughs to rise. I have a double oven, too. The pizza stone is in the upper oven, and that's where I put the dough on this particular day. Anyway on this particular day my kids(4, 3, and 1) were behaving rather poorly, and quite distracting. After feeding them lunch and simmering them down I decided to eat lunch myself. At that point I decided to preheat my pizza stone. You can guess what happened. I had dough baked in a bowl. Fortunately the bowl was oiled so nothing stuck, and the bowl(melamie) did not melt at all. Whew! I decided it was only flour and water(Cheap mistake) and started over. The pizza was great! Then there was the time I sent my husband to the store for baking soda. I was in the middle of making banana bread, and realized I had none. He decided to ride his bike, and it was a good distance. While he was gone I discovered a near full economy size bottle on the top shelf of my pantry.I had not seen it earlier because it was so high up(and I'm pretty short!). He enjoyed his bike ride anyway, and was not angry. Afterall he ate the bread too! My last memorable disaster was with a morrocan couscous dish I made. When we ate it it was tasty, but needed a bit more spice, so my husband and I kept adding more spices at the table to doctor it up to where we liked it. The next day I was going to have some leftover for lunch. Whoa, way too spicy!!! I had to throw it all out. At least it tasted good the first night!

[SueK]

I thought of another one as I was reading these hilarious posts. I was making low-fat fettucine alfredo one night, and discovered I didn't have any evaporated skim milk. My husband offered to run to the store to get some for me. He returned, I opened the can, dumped the contents into the pasta, mixed it up, and we sat down to eat. One taste and YUCK! I ventured into the kitchen to discover that he had bought sweetened condensed milk instead! I had been in such a hurry that I hadn't even noticed!
My mother-in-law (whose culinary skills make me look like Julia Child) also made a pie one year for Thanksgiving and we all gagged on it. We asked her what was in it. She proceeded to tell us that it was a diabetic pie. How did she make it "diabetic"? By not putting ANY sweetener in it at all. And this was a pie that normally called for a LOT of sugar!

[Nanci]

These stories are hysterical. Well -- here it goes when I was young and foolish (and married), I decided to make my own pesto. The recipe called for 5 cloves of garlic. I didn't know the difference between a clove and a bulb. So, you can guess how bad my pesto was.

This is probably the most embarrassing. I bought or received a gift of a chicken roaster (a rack that holds the chicken upright) and a board that the rack fits into with a groove cut out to let the juices drain. Well I put the board and the rack in the oven. It didn't say not to bake the board. Well obviously the smoke detector and awful smell brought me running. I bought another board and haven't had any problems this time.

[Danielle]

This is a hilarious thread! When I first started dating my husband in college he told me he loved beef stew. So I tried to make it for him, and oh, what a disaster it was!! The meat and veggies turned into a big pile of mush, and I had added WAY too much black pepper. It was the first meal I made for him, so you can imagine my embarassment. I haven't tried to make it since.

And there's that time I left the cardboard on the frozen pizza when I put it in the oven, but doesn't everyone do that? http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/redface.gif

[Heidi]

One of my most recent is when I made the Mocha Double Fudge Brownies in the June 2000 CL. They call for instant coffee granules. Not being a coffee drinker, I didn't really notice the difference when I used coffee grounds I found in the freezer. The brownies still tasted yummy, they just left little flecks of coffee grounds in your mouth afterwards. I don't think I would ever have known the difference if my mom hadn't pointed out my mistake to me. We laughed a long time over that one, especially when I found a jar of instant coffee granules in the freezer right next to the can of regular grounds! Duh.

[Denise]

My worst kitchen mishap happened when I first began experimenting with baking. I was making an angel food cake and didn't have the right pan. No problem, I found one that all the batter just fit in. I mean the batter was right up to the top of the pan. An hour later there was angel food cake everywhere!!!

I have a cousin who insisted on making chocolate chip cookies all by himself the first time (he was probably 8). Well when the recipe said to add an egg he scrambled an egg, added a little salt and pepper, COOKED it and then added it to the cookie mix. As far as he was concerned that's what an egg was! Needless to say those where some pretty interesting cookies!

[cookgirl]

If my mom's on this board, I'm about to blow my cover! (Sorry Mom!)

I was a good cook when I was a kid (11 or 12?). I was great at following directions and turning out things such as German Chocolate cake, my prized omelets, cheese straws, etc. So , naturally, my mom didn't blink when I said I was going to make some nachos.
I labored over a beautiful arrangement of tortilla chips and yummy cheeses, and then yelled at my mom from the kitchen "how long do I cook them?"
She said something like "oh, 15 minutes at 350." So I followed, per her instructions.
About 10 minutes later, we smelled the wretched smell and ran to the kitchen. Flames were shooting out of the stove eyes and the seam of the oven door. The cabinets above the stove were burning. We screamed and stupidly opened the oven door, only to see more flames! So...we screamed and closed the oven door and called the fire department. She didn't say to put it on "BAKE" (oops, so that's the difference between bake and broil!).
We lived in a small town. within 10 minutes, two fire trucks (one short, one super long with the rescue ladder) a police car and, oh YES, an ambulence pulled up. My sister and I were hiding behind the house, now. We peered through the dining room at my mom as she was faced with a FULLY dressed fireman. We're talkin rubber suit, rubber boots and axe. He followed her into the kitchen where the nacho fire had put itself out. The closed oven door killed the O2 supply to the fire.
My sister and I hid behind a bush as we watched the FULLY dressed fire man walk outside, drop the charred tray to the ground and give it a little stomp of the foot. Then he and numerous other public safety officials proceeded to roar with laughter, hollering "Honey, It's Done!"
OH, the horror!

[This message has been edited by cookgirl (edited 07-28-2000).]

[KateH]

One year, long ago, my mother was teaching a cooking class for 4-H. On the day that this particular incident occured, I was helping her demonstrate in the kitchen. The students, all girls, were several years younger than I, so I thought of myself, with false pride, as something of a role model. Some cookies were in the oven, and my mother was explaining some safety tips for using the oven. The buzzer rang, and right after she had just finished explaing the importance of wearing oven mitts, I reached in with my bare hands and grabbed the cookie sheet. The girls all screamed before I did.

What a role model!

[christinew]

HAHA..Great Post! My mistake or discovery http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/eek.gif was accidentally frying chicken coated with powerdered sugar instead of flour. It had the most bizarre sweet taste and my guests did not say a word. Later I discovered that my husband had replaced the flour container with powdered sugar!!! And with the sweet taste it also had a chewier texture.

[This message has been edited by christinew (edited 07-28-2000).]

[Deanna]

Great stories here!

My best one...the first summer after I was married, we had a home with a HUGE yard...great for a garden! Had my hubby prepare a large garden plot...went to the nursery and found the most darling little six-packs of tomato plants. They were so cute, I bought three six-packs. Anyone who has ever grown tomatoes knows this is WAY too many unless you are planning to open a farmer's market in your back yard.

Well...I kept waiting patiently for those tomatoes to ripen...green, yellow...yellow...yellow...and they never turned red! I called my mother mid-summer and asked her what I was doing wrong! She asked me what kind of tomatoes I had purchased and I told her "the low-acid kind because (DH) can't tolerate the real ones!"

She explained to me that the variety I had chosen were intended to be YELLOW when fully ripe...and most of my summer's gardening efforts were for naught.

Once we figured out they were RIPE at the yellow stage, we started picking. We picked, and picked, and picked. We had two sinks full of tomatoes, every pot, bowl and basket we owned was full of tomatoes. I was skinning and freezing tomatoes as fast as I could. We tried giving them away but neighbors had more than they could use, also. The counter tops and sinks were full of tomatoes...and DH appeared at the back door with another basketful...and I lost it! I was nearly hysterical! This was tomato HELL!!!!

Believe me, we scaled back our tomato operation the next year. And I learned a lot about checking particulars of specific hybrids of any vegetable I grow!

[RunnerKim]

What comes to mind for me goes back to when I was a kid and spending a summer with my grandparents. My aunt and family lived "up the hill" from my grandparents and one afternoon my cousin and I were helping my Aunt make sugar cookies. I was in charge of adding the baking powder. Well I was a little mixed up about teaspoons and tablespoons and let's just say the dogs wouldn't even eat them! I was so disappointed to not get the cookies AND so embarressed.

Kim

[BarbaraL]

The goof that sticks in my mind was a Chinese-food dinner party I had for friends. I was serving 3 main-course dishes, only 2 of which I'd made before. I prepared those 2 dishes ahead of time, and was preparing the third, when my guests arrived. My girlfriend joined me in the kitchen and proceeded to start an in-depth discussion. I paid more attention to her than to the new recipe! The dish (shrimp) wasn't very good, but it wasn't until I cleaned up that I discovered the bowl of batter; the batter that I was supposed to dip the shrimp in before cooking! Oh, well, the other 2 dishes were fabulous! After that, I always try to have as much ready as possible before the guests arrive!

[Pat]

This is a very amusing thread. There are many incidents in my past but one of the funniest is when I made a "low calorie pie." This was several years ago and I was expecting my first child; therefore, I was watching my weight. I was frantic for something sweet and I found this recipe for a lemon pie using sugar substitute. Let me tell you, sugar substitute has come a long way in 30 years. The pie was beautiful! I was so proud. After dinner, I served my husband a piece and left the table for some reason. When I got back to the table, I took a bite and UGH! That was the worst tasting thing I have ever tasted. I said so and he said, "Whew, I'm glad you think so." We lived beside a field that had cattle in it so I took the pie out to the field for the cows. Those cows would eat anything, but they would not eat that pie. It laid there in that field and mocked me for days.

[Cory]

The first time I sauteed scallops, I overcooked them. They had the consistency of rubber and were inedible. I ended up throwing out $25.00 worth of seafood and ordering a pizza.

Around the same time I tried a new chicken recipe that involved baking the chicken (I rarely used the oven, preferring stir-fry recipes). The chicken came out raw. It turned out that the oven wasn't working.

For months my husband begged me not to cook. Now, that all our appliances are working and I have a better idea of what I'm doing, he loves my meals.

[Ohioan]

This thread just keeps getting funnier and funnier. I think Kristilyn1 is right, and CL ought to run these posts either as a one-time feature or as a monthly column. Is anyone on the editorial board listening? http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/wink.gif

Also, Deanna's tomato story reminds me of the time three of my friends and I rented a vacation bungalow in a place famous for its farmers' markets. We went out the first day to get provisions, and bought what looked like a small package of watercress -- one kilo. (That's 2.2 pounds, for the metrically challenged, as we apparently were.) Then we went home to wash our veggies.

It was like something out of a monster movie. The watercress kept expanding until it filled both sinks and spread out across the counters, and we still had some left in the package. We wound up burying most of it out back of the bungalow, because we were embarrassed just to throw the excess out -- and we were half-afraid that it would just keep growing and growing and growing in the trash can, and maybe eat the bungalow while we slept. http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/eek.gif

Cheers, Phoebe (aka Ohioan)

[This message has been edited by Ohioan (edited 07-29-2000).]

[lesliem]

I think my most embarrasing cooking escapade happened when I was nine with my dad's help- so that's my excuse.
My mom was out of town for my grandmother's funeral and we were about to go and meet her. I wanted to bake her a cake. So my dad and I set about doing this. The cake turned out fine but neither of us had any idea how to make icing. I think we started out with most of right ingredients although I know we put baking powder in there as I had seen my mom use this in all her baking. The icing was a bit runny so one of my sisters suggested flour as she was sure she had seen my mom do this, so in went some flour. That made it too thick so we added some water. This kind of went on untill we felt we had the finished product and spread it on the cake where it promptly turned to cement which was bad enough but to make things worse I had insisted we make the icing blue which I then covered with beautiful pink sparkles- We still laugh about that one.

The other really goofy thing I did was in first year university. My roomate and I really liked banana chips and bought them regularly. They were kind of expensive for our budget so we decided to make our own. We had absolutely no clue and thought all we needed to do was slice up a banana and bake it on our brand new cookie sheet. You can imagine how they turned out... soggy, brown, and glued to that cookie sheet. The little round circles never went away.

[Beth]

I'm glad to see this post. I thought about the same topic, but wasn't sure what's I'd post. Reading through these, I was reminded of a time long ago in before law school land.

One of my first attempts at Chinese cooking was making Kung Poa Chicken for a friend and another couple. Living in an apartment, I figured the vent over the stove would be adequate ventilation when I started frying the very hot peppers in the oil. Wrong. By the time my friend arrived, the fan was going full blast, the front door and patio door were open and eyes were still watering. Fortunately, the meal was great and the air had cleared enough that we could eat by then.

Also, when I was probably about 10, I was making hardy candy around Christmas time. I had made it before, but I guess I got distracted while it was nearing the hard crack stage or whatever. The syrup was starting to turn brown. I pulled it off the stove and panicked. I found marshmallows in the pantry and threw some in along with just a little extra cherry flavoring. The white marshmallows hid the brown, and the candy actually tasted good, but I could never duplicate it.

Don't you love it when someone asks you for a recipe after you've tried to rescue a flop or made something up off the cuff?

[Annette]

Good grief!! *laughing hysterically* Between the horseradish mishap and the nachos.. tomatoes... I've laughed so hard my stomach hurts!
My mishap was the first time I cooked artichokes. I was... 15? I think.. anyhow, my moms stockpot was aluminum w/ a teflon coating and so I put the artichokes in with a couple of inches of water. I figured that it would take awhile, so I went downstairs to do some ironing and watch TV. My mom pulls up to the house, comes in, proceeds upstairs and starts yelling something so I follow her up to see what's going on. Well, the poor artichokes were BEYOND cooked... I had left the burner on high (to get the water boiling) and had proceeded to boil the water out, melt the pan to the point that it was a nice aluminum ring around the burner, the base melted into the drip pan, and I had 6 miniature artichoke shaped 'briquettes' permanently aheared to the burner element!! *LOL* Needless to say, the element, drip pan and 'halo' had to go in the garbage!! *LOL*

[laden]

The first time I made dinner for my fiance I really tried hard to impress him. I knew he loved mashed potatoes and I made killer ones!

I generally chop fresh chives and toss them in before serving. Well this time I added the chives before I mashed them with a hand blender....They still tasted great but they turned out a very unappetizing green color.

[SandyM]

My most embarrassing moment in the kitchen was preparing my first Thanksgiving meal for the family. I wasn't aware that there were two "caverns" in the turkey - front and rear. I meticulously cleaned the bird thoroughly, inside and out, stuffed it, and proudly roasted it. The entire family (12 altogether) awaited the carving. My husband of 4 months started moving pieces around to start carving, reached inside the "butt hole" and pulled the bag of "stuff" out - it had steamed the contents! My mother traditionally cooked the organ meat and used it in the stuffing, but my husband wouldn't have any part of it, so I never even wondered where it was. I could have died. Everyone had a good laugh about it, and of course now, 12 years later, he still reminds me to "clean the entire turkey thoroughly"!!! lol

[CATHIEA]

Early in my married life, before I learned the value of planning, I would make elaborate multi-course meals and each dish would come out at a different time. This is was in those pre-history days before every kitchen had a microwave, so to keep dishes warm required using the oven or stove top. Naturally, this led to more than one incident of inadvertently broiled vegetables and apartment fire alarms being set off. There was a period when I was only serving guests a one hot dish meal with a salad and bread until I got the hang of planning. (I think I finally ran out of sauce pans to burn out before I learned.)
My most embarrassing cooking/guest moment concerns the first time my in-laws came to dinner. My husband and I eloped after only dating for a couple of months. He is Catholic, I am not. His mother was very upset that we were not married in the Church, so we had some serious tension going. Anyhow, we finally got them to come over. My mother-in-law had recently had a heart attack and was on a pretty strict diet (in those days the American Heart Association punished people for having heart attacks by making them eat flavorless food) and my father-in-law had food dislikes that made it impossible to serve ANYTHING Italian (no garlic, no hot tomatoes, no olives) which was my ethnic hertitage. So just planning the meal was stressful.
Before they came over I thoroughly cleaned the house and then, because they didn't have any pets, I put the cat out in the backyard. As I recall, dinner went pretty well (I think chicken breasts in broth on a bed of mixed fresh vegetables with seasoned brown rice and fresh strawberries with brown sugar).
I moved everyone into the living room for coffee and dessert- a beautiful oil-crust fruit pie baked by a neighbor. Now somehow, when we had all settled in, but before I actually cut and served the pie, my husband decided to let the cat back in. The cat came tearing into the living room, mad as heck for being left in the yard for so long, jumped on the coffee table next to the pie, shook himself, and then began to clean his genitals, loudly and wetly. There was a moment of appalled silence when my husband said, "usually we make him wear a raincoat before he exposes himself." I started giggling hysterically and my mother-in-law, God Bless her, merely reached over and brushed the cat hair off the pie before she cut herself a slice, as if nothing unusual had happened.
CathieA-Who now includes her cats and her husband as part of the evenings' entertainment.

[PrincessT]

My stomach hurts from laughing so much!!!!!

I have always prided myself on my culinary abilities, and as a teenager, got very frustrated with my younger sister who would not follow recipes. When I was probably 18 or 19, I made a Hershey's Chocolate Cake. I followed the recipe on the cocoa tin. The cake came out beautifully, and smelled wonderful. I went to work on the frosting after the cake cooled a bit. My favorite TV show was on at the time, so I wasn't paying as much attention as I should have. I put in the 2 1/2 cups of sugar, then proceeded to put in 2 cups of cocoa (as opposed to tablespoons). Amazingly, I didn't taste the frosting until after it was on the cake. Needless to say, we ended up scraping the frosting off of the cake to make it edible. My mom forbade me to watch TV and cook after that.

[jlewis]

Originally posted by kendra:
Last year, I decided to make Shrimp Caesar Salad with Pesto Crostini. I had a bag of frozen, peeled and deveined shrimp. Well, in my mind the shrimp were cooked also. I do realize that shrimp are bright pink when cooked - for some reason I had convinced myself that all I had to do with the shrimp was thaw it. With all the other preparation going on (making crostini, making dressing, etc.), I failed to register that I did have to cook the shrimp and proceeded to dump the raw shrimp on top of the salad and take the dish out to my waiting hungry husband. Needless to say, he noticed the problem right away. We managed to remove the shrimp (and shrimp-tainted salad) and cook them. The dish was then very good, despite my temporary brain malfunction!


Hey guys, I just joined Cooking Light. I was in the supper club section and passed this along. My wife and I just started using www.allfreshseafood.com (http://www.allfreshseafood.com) I saw your shrimp story so I thought you might be interested in them. We use them alot. They're great.

Jeff

[MrsReber]

Sandy! You and me both! The first turkey I ever cooked was about 2 years ago. It was a freebie, so I was only cooking it for me and my husband. I too thought there was only one cavity and wound up cooking a package of gook. And, being a man, he must remind me of that each time I cook a turkey!

[andreajackson]

I was making a strawberry pie and I was in quite a hurry so I bought an already made pie crust. I fixed the strawberrys just right and poured them in, and put it in the frig. however when I took it out to eat a piece, I realized that I hadn't cooked the pie crust!

[SandyDee]

Mine happened my first year I was married and I wanted to impress the new in-laws, so for the holidays I made a pecan pie to take to their house (my father-in-law's favorite) I was extra cautious as I checked and rechecked the time to make sure all was right. When the timer went off the pie looked and smelled heavenly. I was so proud. When I walked in the door and presented it to him, he was thrilled. He talked about it all through dinner how he couldn't wait for his pie. After dinner we proceeded to cut the pie amid oooh's and aaahh's. And all of a sudden, the center of the pie started to oooze. It was barely baked at all. The side crust and the top of the pie looked fine but inside it was syrupy. I had read the recipe wrong and had the heat set way too low. My father in law was quite gracious though. He got out the ice cream and literally poured the pie over the ice cream like topping and praised it. I was off to a great start.

[csicc]

cookgirl, your story reminds me of a similar "broiler" fire we had.

We were making some garlic bread in the broiler and left it in the broiler a bit too long. When we went to check on the garlic bread, flames were shooting out of the broiler. Acting quickly, we took the entire loaf of bread (which was wrapped in aluminum foil) and threw it off of our 2nd floor porch in our apartment building. Good thing it was winter time and there was 2-3 feet of snow on the ground so the snow quickly helped to put out the fire. No fire trucks were called for this one but it sure was funny.

Carolyn

[debg]

I just can't resist putting in my 3 cents! My most reoccuring kitchen blunder is putting something in the oven, setting the timer, getting ready for dinner (or whatever!), being starving when the timer goes off and all the while never having turned the oven on!!!! You'd think I would learn by now!

Also, being in a hurry and having a friend waiting for me, I dropped a 5# bag of flour on my kitchen floor! YIKES! I decided to go with my friend and clean the mess up when I got home. Couldn't deal with it at the time!

[sooz]

Oh gosh, these stories are great-the mischief we've all gotten into trying hard as a new bride to impress someone! I once used a "stewing" chicken for a company dinner that actually required a nice roaster, and our teeth actually bounced off the meat-quite humiliating to say the least!When happily preparing my very first beef stew as a newlywed, it did not occur to me to brown the meat first-I just poured water over beef cubes, thinking that the rest would take care of itself and produce rich brown color, but it was quite gray and unappetizing! Undaunted, I threw in as much food color as I thought it might take to rectify the color--hmmm-as u might guess, things got pretty ugly (or uglier!)from that point!

[matt stewart]

i belive it is a good thing to have these blunders. one night i was trying to make chicken croquets and i washed the chicken it went down the drain. one day a couple of months ago i had decided to make the strawberry mouse i had made with a brand new blender. the top and the bottom were secure and it went flying. in my kitchen i have catherdral ceilings so it was a good thing. or the time making eggplant. I had put too much salt. everyone thought they were going to die.

[sally]

My faux pas was not in the kitchen, but it is food related - thought everyone might get a chuckle. One of my first dinner dates in high school took me to a seafood rest., I love shrimp so I ordered boiled shrimp. However, my mom always peeled them so I really was unprepared for the shells, legs etc. Anyway, rather than ask questions, I put the first one in my mouth (shell and all). Date had to leave the table due to laughing so hard - I was mortified, but I learned my 1st cooking lesson!

[Wendy w]

Funny that many of these stories involve fire or almost...
My most embarassing kitchen incident happened about 2 weeks ago. I had my pressure cooker out and was in the process of making lentil soup.

I had sprayed the cooker with Pam and was in the process of sauteing the onions when my roommate went out into the garage to get the trash ready for pickup the next day.

We happen to have one of those elitist, totalitarian, strict trash companies (with an attitude similar to the DMV, or the IRS) that are picky about separating, etc. This was a week where we had more trash than the container would hold.

I happened to go out there to help her compact it and then I remembered that I had something on the stove. I got there just in time to see a large flame sprout up and I happened to grab the baking soda just in time!

I feel really bad because I have never done anything like that as I always try to cook in a safe manner. We were very lucky. As my Grandma used to say, I felt like 2 cents waiting for change. http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/eek.gif

[This message has been edited by Wendy w (edited 09-14-2000).]

[BarbaraL]

To Lindrusso, who's mistake was leaving the giblets bag in the turkey: a few weeks ago, I was buying a spit-roasted chicken from the grocery store (one of my too-tired-to-cook tricks). I noticed something white in one of the chickens. Turns out, the grocery store cook had left the giblets bag in! I told the deli clerks, and they cracked up.
To Pat, who made a pie with artificial sweetener, and it was awful: not all sugar substitutes can be cooked! Nutrasweet breaks down with heat and gets bitter. I forget if it's SugarTwin or Sweet and Low (or both) that can be used in cooking -- have to check the box!

[Gwenniver]

I didn't put my two cents in on this one the first time, but I couldn't resist when it came up again--just reading the original posts was making me giggle at my desk at work!

Ok...I decided to have some friends over to my house for Christmas. I was making ham, mashed potatoes, veggies--simple but good. I also decided to make my dessert specialty, Grasshopper Pie (if anybody wants the recipe *after* I post this, I'll be happy to type it in http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif ).

This involves marshmallow fluff in the filling (always messy), whipped cream (whipped by hand as I didn't have a mixer at the time in my first apartment, though I did have a Crock Pot, go figure), and an oreo crust.

Everything was made and looked beautiful when I went to pour the filling into the crust. Unfortunately, I had the pie plate too close to the edge of the counter, and the whole thing went *** over teakettle onto the floor-and into a pair of my shoes that were conveniently located on the floor next to the counter!!

To make a long story...long, I stood in shock and dismay for a moment. Then I started cleaning up. Has anyone ever stepped on an Oreo? Then you understand what an insidious and evil substance Oreo crumbs can be...the kitchen rug was a loss, I threw it in the tub to deal with it later http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif.

My friends were very nice when they arrived--we went to 7-11 (the only place open on Christmas day) because I **** well wanted my Grasshopper Pie. We bought marshmallows and melted them into fluff by hand; we bought oreos, separated them (and ate the filling) and crushed them by hand, and we whipped some *more* cream by hand.

The pie was delicious--but now when I fill pies I keep them so close to the back wall I can barely reach them!

[lindrusso]

Originally posted by sally:
Anyway, rather than ask questions, I put the first one in my mouth (shell and all).

Sally,

Thanks for letting me have a good laugh at your expense - I needed it!

[Alba]

A couple years ago, I found a recipe for a berry cobbler with hazelnut topping in the New York Times. It sounded delicious, and certainly looked wonderful going into the oven. It looked even more tempting when it came out, and as soon as it was cool enough to eat, I cut myself some and eagerly bit in.

Crunch!! After a few bites, I realized that the whole piece was filled with little hard bits that were impossible to chew. It was as if there were little rocks or pieces of wood in it. As I puzzled over this, my mother ventured into the kitchen, drawn by the scent of fresh-baked cobbler. Before she dug in, I had her taste my piece and asked what might have happened.

"Did you shell the nuts?" Well, no, were you supposed to? I'd never cooked with hazelnuts before, much less seen a whole nut; I'd found a bag of hazelnuts in the cupboard, measured them and whizzed them through the food processor. She had a hearty laugh at my expense; but as beautiful as the cobbler looked, it was inedible.

A few days later, I made the recipe again; this time removing the shells from the nuts. And it was good http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif

[Jen]

We have a small apartment, so we rarely entertain. I've always felt bad about eating at my parents' house so often when we can hardly ever reciprocate. So the first Christmas we were married, we had both our sets of parents + my brother over the week before Christmas for a big dinner (since become a yearly tradition!). Anyway, I was trying to be Christmassy and decided to make a cranberry mousse for dessert. My kitchen has hardly any counter space, so I quite often use the top of the stove (when it's off, of course!) as a working space. You can probably see where this is going...I put all the ingredients in the blender (a wedding gift, not yet used) and started it up...only to have all the mousse - 8 servings! - pour out everywhere! The bottom ring on the blender was cracked (of course I never thought to check it first!). I now had liquid mousse all over my stove, including inside the burner pans and dripping inside the oven. I had our families coming in just a couple of hours, so it was pretty frantic trying to get it cleaned up - I need to use the stove and oven! But now it's a pretty good laugh.

[lindrusso]

Originally posted by Alba:
A couple years ago, I found a recipe for a berry cobbler with hazelnut topping in the New York Times. http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif

Wow, I'm surprised the hazelnuts didn't ruin your food processor or something!

Would you mind posting the cobbler recipe it's not too much trouble - I have hazelnuts leftover from a nut project gone wrong last Christmas (I store them in the freezer) and am trying to use them up. And they are already shelled.... http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/wink.gif.

[phantomcg]

Well, this could have been an embarassing moment, but I was the only one home!! I was making a corn, spinach and rice casserole in my crockpot and noticed that the cooking time was 2 1/2 hours on high, I thought this seemed kind of short, but didn't think to much about it. Well after the 2 1/2 hours, the dish just didn't look like I expected it to. I took a taste and almost broke a tooth! Then I looked at the recipe again and realized that it called for "instant" rice and I had used regular rice. Well, I was pretty hungry, so I just put the whole thing in the microwave and finished cooking it!!! Which does bring up a question. If I were to make this recipe again with "regular" rice how would I adjust the cooking time?

Thanks,

Cheryl

[NydiaC]

My most embarassing moment happend just this weekend. My boyfriend was over for dinner and he asked me to make homeade pizza (he LOVES my pizza) so at 3:00 I proceeded to prep my bread machine with the ingrediants for the dough. We left for awhile, so the machine didn't get turned on until 4:30 (no timer for dough either http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/frown.gif ). Well, about 6:00 I went in to check it as it should have almost been done. My SO peeked in the lid and asked what was up, because it didn't look like dough. I looked inside the machine and the dough had never been mixed after all this time. http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/eek.gif Apparently I was in such a hurry to get the ingrediants in the bread case that I never bothered to look to see of the kneeding blade was attached. The last time I washed it and put it away, I must have just set it on the bottom of the bread case and didn't attach it to the motor mechanism. Of course I was mortified and had to get premade crust from the store (Yuk!). My SO laughed soooo hard! When he asked me what had happened I, of course, told him that the blade must have detached during the mixing process. http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/wink.gif (Only ya'll need to know the real story...)

[This message has been edited by NydiaC (edited 09-19-2000).]

[Alba]

Originally posted by lindrusso:
Wow, I'm surprised the hazelnuts didn't ruin your food processor or something!

The machine did make some strange sounds, but the blades don't seem the worse for it - definitely won't make that mistake again!

Would you mind posting the cobbler recipe it's not too much trouble -


Alas, I cannot find it among my recipes; my mother must have it. If she finds it, I'll post it right away.