Christmas Dinner, Aghh

[Terri-Lynn2]

Every year for the past 10 years I have dreaded christmas dinner. It is a constant battle over where we should spend christmas and which family thinks we are being unfair. We have tried eating 2 complete dinners (which we might have to go back to this year) we have altered my families dinner to brunch, christmas eve, amalgamating the families but it doessnt make everyone happy everyone wants us for christmas dinner. I dread Christmas and now that we have our own children I would like to some how find some time for us to spend together.

I guess my question is how do you arange your christmas that seems fair to everyone...I think Christmas in Hawaii is sounding better and better!!!

Help me please, there has to be a better way then eating until you are about to burst or being consumed by guilt that someones feeling are being hurt.

Thanks for listening.


Terri

[MarciaTJ]

Hi Terri-

Wow, thank you for this thread!! I am coming up on my first anniversary with my husband, and I too dread the Thanksgiving/Chirstmas delimma. However, I have resolved, to do what it is that makes my husband and I happy, despite my or his parent's objections. We will be going to visit his parents for thanksgiving, and my parents are and sibling will be coming to our house for Christmas. I have extended Christmas dinner invitations to my husbands parents and his brother and sister-in-law, however his mother feels that "Christmas should be at home", "her home". Thus the invitation is there, should they decide to take it great, if not great, regardless my husband and I will celebrate the way we want - which I think makes it easier or everyone.

[MrsReber]

Terri, I can absolutely totall relate! My husband has a big family and they do a grab bag each year so we HAVE to see them. Then my family gives me the guilt, since I only have a small family, if we don't go there. We finally decided to alternate for Thanksgiving, but for Christmas, we still do the running around. I hate it. The first year, I didn't see my family at all because we hosted at our house. My family couldn't arrange to stop by, so I knew after that that I would have to go to them or just not see them. How fair is that? My husband's family now wants to go away to and island for Christmas next year! That's hardly fair to me at all. I told him that I really don't want to go- plus it's not Christmas to me unless it's winter like outside.

Anyway, the second year, we left my brother's house before dinner was served and we got to my brother-in-law's house and there was no food left! My husband and I had leftover Boston Chicken for dinner after we got home! I said NEVER AGAIN!

Last year, we ate at my brother's house and then went to my brother-in-law's house- of course, everyone was getting ready to leave soon after we got there. We just cannot win at all. I give up. Next year, we'll have our own child to think about and I don't think we'll be running around! I get frustrated just thinking about it. We just try to make everyone happy and make ourselves miserable in the meantime.

[SueK]

I am fortunate in the fact that both families live nearby. My husband's mother has always, by tradition, made the formal Christmas dinner on Christmas Eve. So, we go there on Christmas Eve, and then eat on Christmas Day at my parents' house. If they are out of town visiting my sisters, I just make a turkey breast and trimmings for the three of us, and we lounge around and enjoy the gifts. I can imagine it's very hard to try to please everyone, especially if the families live far away!

[KimKelly]

We live an "alternative Christmas" life. My husband is an ariline pilot and therefore is frequently gone on holidays, so we have deemed Christmas day to be whenever we are together! This year will be more difficlut as my son is now old enough to know the date and we have to figure out why Santa just may come here on a different day from the neighbors...we're working on that one! Anyway, both of our parents live in northern CA and we live in San Diego. We usually have Thanksgiving at our house and both parents are invited and frequently come (although this year my husband will be working so it is me and the kids.). My husband has frequently been on the bottom of the seniority list so he has not been able to get Christmas off but can get New Years off. This has worked to our families advantage as the parents spend the actual Christmas with the other siblings (we each have one so the parents spend the day with the "other" child) and then we go to my moms for New Years and celebrate our Christmas then. LuUckily my parents and my husband parents get along wonderfully so my in-laws come to my mom's too.

As for spending Chiristmas in Hawaii.. I say go for it! As a kid we used to always go to Tahoe for Chrismas so we missed out on any family problems.

Good luck to those who are running from house to house. I like the Christmas Eve, Christmas day trade off.... maybe that could solve some problems.

Aloha!
Kim

[CathyPA]

Boy, do I know how you feel!! I've been married for 18 years, and it is still not easy. Before we had children (11 years ago), we went to my inlaws (locally) on Christmas Eve and had dinner and opened gifts. Christmas day we traveled to my parent's home (2 1/2 hours away) and celebrated with my siblings and parents. It was challenging, especially since my husband was not accustomed to being "on the road" on Christmas, especially after we had kids. He grew up in a family where once you had children, you stayed in your own home. I on the other hand grew up driving an hour to "Grandma's house" every Christmas. My mother expected the same once she became a grandmother. Of course, my mom never had to make the choice I've had to make because her mother-in-law lived in Europe!

I think my in-laws were feeling slighted, so I tried hosting Christmas. I think my family is a little too boisterous for them, so they started declining the offer, but I always left it open. I did this for many years because I had the "bigger house" and my sisters said they had much more fun here than when Mom hosted. My father-in-law died before the birth of my son, which subsequently resulted in my mother-in-law moving in with us (there's an in-law's apartment that was part of the house when we bought it). That's when the fun really began, now my mother was sure I was being brainwashed not to travel. I guess my family was still too much, because my mother-in-law started going to her daughter's house in Virginia for Christmas, and now she has lived with her for the last 2 years.

Our children (there are eight nephews an nieces) absoulutely love seeing each other. However, working full-time in a very demanding job was making it become a burden. If I have the time to plan and be ready (doesn't help that I'm a perfectionist), I love to host, but it just wasn't possible some years. So then we tried rotating Christmas between myself, my youngest sister (she lives about 30 from my parents) and my mom. My middle sister always had to travel the farthest since her husband was stationed at varying times several states away. Now that they are within 2 hours of me, they could host. Basically, I'm in the middle (literally and figuratively) so there is still pressure for me to host because if the others do, it's a 4 hour ride for either sister.

I have to add that my mother has never been happy about it not being at her home every year, and now my parent's are building a home in Florida!!!! She is already asking if we are coming down!!

Why do I tell you all of this? Because in the end, you have to do what you feel you can live with as a couple. Because of different upbringings, that can still be a loaded gun. I love the "extended" family Christmas (and so do my kids, they acutally get upset if they aren't going to see their cousins), but my husband still hates to be on the road. He doesn't mind everyone coming here, but then again, he's not the one who does most of the work associated with entertaining. Because I want a break from the hosting, we have pretty much stuck with rotating Christmas because it works most of the time. If it just isn't possible, for us to "go" or host, then we stay home and set another date to get together with the family. In the end, it's my husband and I who decide where we'll be. You can't let everyone else beat you up and make you feel guilty, because as you have seen, you still feel miserable. In the end, I decided that I would no longer let my mother or in-laws keep count and measure loyalty/sense of family by where I spent my Christmas or Thanksgiving. I try to "spread evenly", but if it doesn't happen to work for us for a particular holiday, then I just go with what works for me and my immediate family.

One last thought, after you and your husband decide how you would like to handle the holidays, maybe a heart-to-heart discussion with whichever side (or both) of the family about the issue might help. Ideally, the time for this would be at least 6 months ahead, but even now is good. It just isn't possible to make everyone happy. Sorry for the missive, but I know how emotional this can be. Good Luck!

[Vanessa]

Terri
I think you should do what makes you and your hubby happy. Also when one gets married one starts their own traditions and specially when you have children. You can also discuss other options. You could compromise and divide the holidays like many families do (Xmas at one place, Easter at other etc)I think eating two Xmas dinner will not be good for your health and you and your husband can decide what you guys want to do. I think family members should be reasonable and not get upset. After 10 yrs they can change their traditions and celebrate at your house. Make things appeling like the idea that they can relax and enjoy this Xmas etc. If things don't work out then have fa members come over to open gifts at your home and have brunch.
It seems holidays can be stressful and you are trying to be nice to all but you must remember you have to be happy too.

[Karen from VA]

I can't resist replying to this thread having been on both sides of the dilemna. As young parents, we divided our Christmases between our two parents, even hitting both places Christmas Eve a couple of years since Christmas Eve was more of a traditional family time than Christmas Day. Looking back, I think we actually placed more guilt on ourselves than was ever put on us by our parents. Nevertheless, I vowed that we would never put our children in the same impossible position. I feel it's important for each family to establish it's own traditions with their children in their own homes if that's what they wish to do. Make your wishes known early on and stick to it. If you're not going to have holidays in your own home, trade off every other year at parents and inlaws, or go one place for Thanksgiving and the other for Christmas and reverse it the following year. Just make up your minds what you're going to do, lovingly make your plans known, and stick to it. We parents and grandparents aren't as inflexible as one might think.

Grandma Karen, who is spending Christmas alone with Grandpa this year which, believe me, ain't all that bad http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/wink.gif!!!!

[Laura]

When I was married my husband and I did the two meal deal every Christmas. I remember as a child though that we didn't travel all over the world to visit relatives on the holidays. That is the approach I have taken now. I LOVE to have guests and I will find a way to put them up even in my small home but it is important to make traditions for my family. My mom gets more than a little miffed if I don't come to their home for Christmas especially now that I am no longer married. But I can handle that, she is an adult, has 4 other daughters who can visit her and she knows she is always welcome at my home. I need to be the parent now and do what is right for my kids.

[food girl]

Suddenly, I don't feel so bad! I thought I was the only one with holiday issues!

Here is where I think I will get some sympathY. One Christmas we drove 8 hours to the in-laws. Guess what my MIL made for Christmas dinner? A SALAD!

The next day drove an additional 2 hours (yes, we were 10 hours from home) to see the extended family. We unloaded from the car (all 5 of us) like a pack of weasels.. My MIL did not take so much as a package of brown-n-serve rolls to this family dinner.

This is not how MY family works. My MIL complained on the way home that we had not been offered any leftovers to bring home. I was so embarrased!

I am starting to wonder if it is worth the hassle to try to please everyone.

[ML]

Here is the way my husband and plan to handle things- Up to now we have alternated holidays between the families and that has worked ok. However, once we have children we will have Christmas in our own home. Each of us remember a childhood of christmas at home- I want that for my children! We want to build our own traditions for our children. We have decided that any traveling will be done the week before or the week after christmas. Of course any family is welcome in our home on christmas and we will extend an invitation to all. In the end you have to think of your family- specifically your children- and the kind of christmas/memories you want them to have.

[Nanci]

I couldn't resist responding!!! I am really looking forward to the holidays this year. For the first time in probably a decade I am staying home with my SO and doing whatever we feel like doing!!!!

I was married for seven years and my husband's very close Italian family insisted we spend one holiday "away" with them either Christmas or Thanksgiving. Talk about stress -- seven to ten days trapped with people all the time, stuck doing things I didn't necessarily want to do. Worst of all his siblings all reverted to the age of 8. Oh well . . . it's no wonder we are divorced.

My family lives out in the middle-of-nowhere Oregon, so for the other holdiay we traveled there.

Last year I went to Oregon for Christmas and my SO went to Phoenix. We met up in Oregon for New Year's Eve and than went to LA for a couple of days on our way back to Chicago. His dad ended up in the hospital in Phoenix, he ended-up fighting with a sister and I was lonely without him.

This year I am taking the holidays off. I have extended invitations to come and join us in Chicago, but no takers yet. I can't bear the thought of another frantic holiday trip. I will be home happily enjoying the quiet and we are planning a winter trip to visit my family and a February trip to Arizona. Hopefully we'll all be less stressed and enjoy it more!!!

[Laura B]

This Christmas will be my 4th Christmas with my husband. So far, we have gone to his parents' house on Thanksgiving and mine on Christmas. We usually

[Wendy w]

My parents have been divorced since I was 3 so I am used to the back and forth thing. About 4 years ago, my sister and I told my parents that we were having Thanksgiving and that everyone was welcome. Alas, both showed up and were civilized!! Although my mom gripes, it has made our lives easier for holidays and birthdays.

This year we are going to my sister's for Thanksgiving, although we would prefer to do our own thing (I get guilty as my parents are in their 80's) as my sister is very disorganized.

Last year, she just wanted my boyfriend and me to bring a couple of side dishes and she would do the turkey, etc. My mother showed up 4 hours earlier (very common), and discombobulated my sister so my boyfriend and I had to finish everything! This year, we are taking charge so that things will be somewhat organized.

For Christmas eve, we are doing a simple dinner(probably something make ahead from the CL supplement)evening with my family at my sister's, and then we will be spending Christmas day with my boyfriend's family since his mother and uncle will be in from out of town.

The nice thing about this is that our families are understanding about splitting the holidays without getting hurt feelings.
In fact, last Mother's Day, we took both moms out together! http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif

Wendy

[Terri-Lynn2]

Thank you to everyone that shared there stories about how difficult there holidays are too. It sure was interesting seeing how much pressure there is around Christmas.

Unfortunately my family is very small, so it makes it even more difficult not to be there. I would love to be as brave as some of you and just do what we wanted but I just cant bring myself to do it. I think we have settled on an late afternoon/early dinner at my families and then a later dinner at his so at least we have time to enjoy it!!

The one thing I did take away from the thread is making time for my own family, I have now decided that Christmas Eve will be ours to create our own traditions and enjoy each other.

Thanks again to everyone for replying, I appreciate all of your support.

Terri

[MaryB]

I agree with all of the folks who (especially once you have children) stay home. I am fortunate in that my parents are completely sympathetic to the problem of what to do at Christmas. In fact, after I had my son, they told me that it was fine with them if we spent Christmas at our home(my parent's leave six hours away). And my in-laws live in Hawaii so they don't expect us to travel there!

My parents had five children with both set of grandparents in town. For the first few years, they would do the two dinner thing. However, after one year where all of the children were sick (they only had three at the time), they declared that if the grandparent's wanted to see their grandchildren on Christmas, then they would have to come to my parent's house.

Eventually this evolved into my parent's having Christmas dinner just for us and my grandparent's and then the rest of the extended family would drop by in the evening for cookies and ice cream. This worked out so well that I have continued the tradition. We have a quiet Christmas day and then in the evening invite friends and neighbors over for desert.

Anyways I know that Christmas can be a very stressful time especially when you are first married so good luck to all!

[MrsReber]

Yes, divorced parents always adds some fun to the mix, too! Mine were divorced since I was five and me and my siblings are so tired of having to go anywhere for any holiday. Sadly, my parents had a big blowout one year and fought over where we should be. After that, I never saw my dad on Christmas Day again. And to keep the peace with my mom (who pretty much raised us alone) I can't even bring up the idea of spending a holiday with my dad, since he "doesn't deserve" to see his kids on holidays. What a mess! My sister always stays at her home in NC and my my mother goes to my brother's house since he wants to keep his daughter at home for the day. Should be interesting next year when my husband and I have our own little one! Someday I will be as brave as you others and tell everyone "we're staying home!!" My husband would probably even back me up on that!

[JeanneW]

This is such a difficult situation. I've lived with this for 18 years now. My husband and I live in Maryland and both our families are in Nebraska. We partially solved the problem by going home for Christmas every other year. Frankly, I'd go every year because I love it even if it's hectic, but my husband wants to have Christmas in his own house sometimes. So at least we only deal with this every other year.

I agree with all the others who've said that you have to do what makes you happy. Your families will deal with it better than you think. I always thought my family was too steeped in "tradition" to ever think about doing anything new, but we've developed a Christmas Eve tradition where both families get together for Christmas cookies. It's very enjoyable and relaxing because there's no real work involved. We just sit around and talk and eat cookies, drink hot chocolate and eggnog and play Christmas carols.

We get up early on Christmas morning and do the presents thing at my in-laws. They always open presents in the morning after breakfast. This has worked out well since my MIL makes a special bread only at Christmas. Everyone looks forward to eating that and then we go open presents. Maybe you could get a breakfast tradition going at one house.

Round about noon or so, we head over to my mom's for the traditional Christmas dinner and my family always opens presents in the afternoon. So it's a little hectic but we manage to get both families squeezed in to the day.

I wish you luck in whatever system you devise. It's a bit early but I'll say it anyway: Happy Holidays!

[BeckyM]

I've been pretty lucky on this one so far. My husband and I live in Cincinnati, which is where his parents (and one of his brothers) live. My parents are in Montana, where I grew up. Because my in-laws are so close, we spend almost every holiday with them. But it is important to me to see my family at Christmas, so my husband doesn't mind going to Montana with my parents for that holiday. Of course it helps that my husband is one of six kids, and usually some of his siblings are around at Christmas, so his parents don't get upset that we're not there.

Of course it's simpler since we don't have kids yet, and it's not too complicated for us to travel. I'm not sure what we'll do once we do have small children. I have thought about inviting my parents (and my sister) here for Christmas then, and I think they would be okay with that, but I think it would be a more difficult thing for me. I'm the one who is really fairly caught up in "tradition", and I dread the time when I can't go home to Montana for Christmas. I'm sure I'll manage somehow though. But for now I'm just enjoying having a solution that makes everyone happy!

[lorilei]

We make our lives so difficult, don't we?

My husband and I have always had conflict about where to spend holidays. We've had to give up life long traditions to divide our time between two families, and it was hard at first. But I think we've reached a mutual understanding about the NATURE of such holidays that helps.

First and foremost, it is not the DAY on which we celebrate that counts. In order to get together with both sides of the family, we've been known to MOVE holidays. We've celebrated Christmas in January and Easter on Palm Sunday. It makes everything around the holidays a whole lot less stressful, and we're still able to celebrate with our loved ones.

We've also discussed these issues with our families -- and for the most part, everyone has come to an understanding about what they can expect from us. Our intention is never to exclude someone, but we can't be EVERYTHING to EVERYONE all the time. So, we've really tried to make an extra effort to convince both sides of our family that we love them and care about them - regardless of whether or not we can make it for a special celebration.

What makes it hard especially for us (and you'll be surprised by this) is that our parents live within 2 miles of one another -- so we COULD legitimately celebrate at both places on every holiday. But, it's simply too stressful. So, we've worked out ways to give everyone part of us at the holidays, without giving away our sanity besides http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif

[Beth]

Thanksgiving was always the bigger ordeal for us, but two years ago, we moved from the area where my husband grew up to near my family. That meant we didn't have to travel half way across the country every year to see them at the holidays, which was the only time my father would take off any time. Since then, he has retired. We felt bad about not being able to make the trip back to visit my husband's family last year, so we thought about trying to go this year. When we sent the siblings notes (his mom passed away this year), one responded about a month later that they couldn't make any plans that far in advance, and the other didn't respond at all. Since we can't go unless we plan well in advance, we've decided this may be the year to take the kids to Disneyworld and be back at home in time for Christmas. Our area is doing a family oriented First Night celebration for New Year's Eve, so we'll be here for that too. Looks lilke our great dilema will not be multiple meals, but gift exchanges! Double AGHH!

[tobykitty]

I had to respond.

I have dreaded Christmas time for the past 6 years. My in-laws always had three christmas celebrations. I spent 3 weekends in December "celebrating" Christmas.

We have finally moved away and this will be our first Christmas alone. I cannot wait. Just think, I can get up Christmas morning (when I want - not to the alarm) and open presents and eat dinner and never have to leave. I'm giddy with anticipation.

We spend plenty of time with our parents and siblings and other extended family throughout the year and there are some days that should just be enjoyed.

As for Hawaii, go for it. I take a vacation EVERY Thanksgiving and have never regreted it. My favorite is Las Vegas.

[Ed]

Hi,

I can certainly sympathize with all you fine people, and all the running around at Christmas Time.

Sharon & I have been there & done that.

When our kids were all at home we were on the road Chrismas Eve and Christmas Day. Yes Every Year. This was because we lived within driving distance to both sets of Parents.

We'd be at My folks on Christmas Eve, Chritmas eve always started at noon at their house. We'd usually start for home late enough that our girls were all in & slepping in the car on the way home. (about a 2 hour drive) When we'd get home the kids would be all rested up and want to stay up and play with the gifts from Grandma & Grandpa, and open a few gifts from us.

So it was usually very late by the time Sharon would get them headed for bed, then I'd need to quietly start to get things ready, like putting together toys & the like in the basement, then helping Sharon get all the stuff from Santa out of storage and into the living room under the tree. (I usually got to bed about 2 or 3 A.M.)

Kids being what they are, our Girls would be up at about 5:30 or 6 A.M. bouncing into our room to have us go down with them to see what Santa brought. After this excitement & playing with those presents, & trying on the clothing gifts etc. it was time for breakfast & then get ready to load the car with the gifts for Sharon's folks and of course to get the Girls and a few of their favorite gifts, so far, in the car.

Then we'd drive to Sharons folks. We had all we could do to get there by noon, (it was a 90 minute drive) We'd get there before time to eat usually, and the kids were usually rested up from their nice long nap in the car, which was good because Grandpa wanted to have them lively when we got there. (he was never disappointed) We'd spend the day there and have a fine time, sometime after supper we'd finally start to get ready to head home--usually about 8 P.M.

We'd make the 90 minute drive home which usually took a little longer as I tend to drive slower when I'm tired and on snow packed roads.

We'd usually get home around 10 or 10:30 The Girls would be well rested from their nice nap in the car, which was good because they would need to open the rest of the gifts from us that they ran out of time to open before. They'd want to play with them for a while and of course it was necessary to have lunch before bed. Usually by Midnight to 1 A.M. I could go to bed, It's funny, My Girls would many times tell us it would be O.K. if we went to bed early, they'd get to bed by themselves O.K.

Well now all our kids are grown up with their own kids, and much to my surprise even at their age, (43,42, & 34) they still want to come to our place for Christmas Day, My Grandkids are usually well rested when they get here, which is just fine with me because I like to hear about all the fine gifts they've recieved so far.

I really thought by the time our kids got to this age Sharon & I would be back on the road going to their places, but for some reason they all like to come back home.
(And that's just fine with me.)

You might think because of all of the above I might feel sorry for my Daughters and their Husbands because of all the late nights, early mornings, & driving the highways at Christmas time.

I don't

Although I don't usually wake my son's-in-law up from their naps after dinner to watch football the way my Father-In-Law did.
(Both he & my Dad felt a young guy should be able to stay awake)

Please let me be the first to wish all of you a Merry Christmas!

Ed

[Terri-Lynn2]

Thanks again for all of your stories, it sure puts things into perspective. Maybe we can plan a trip to Hawaii because we want to visit, not because we have to get out of town.

I was struck by what Ed said because the most ironic thing about the whole ordeal is that everyone wants us for Christmas Dinner, which is the thing that doesnt really mean that much. When my sister and I were hashing it out with my parents the thing that meant the most to us is that we are at my parents with the kids christmas morning!! My parents thought that by now with our own families they would be coming here but we are adamant that we go there and open presents. We both have such great memories of being with our grandparents christmas morning that we want our kids to share in that. The problem is that having us there for Christmas dinner means as much to them as us being there christmas morning does to my sister and I. Of course the complication comes in finding the time to fit in the in-laws because there christmas has always been christmas evening to have dinner and open gifts. Oh well, we made a huge step forward this christmas and we still get to go to mom and dads christmas morning and that makes my sister and I very happy!!

I hope that you all have a wonderful holiday season.

Terri

[Gail]

After reading all of your comments, I believe we've finally found the solution to all your Christmas angst. Leave your troubles behind and go to Ed's house. Sounds like you'll have a terrific time! http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/biggrin.gif

[Terri-Lynn2]

Hi Gail,

I was happy that you popped up, we havent heard much from you lately and I have been wondering if you were still around. Its just not the same without your expertise and wit!!!

Terri

[Margie]

I'm an orphan and have no family except a sister 1000 miles away. Luckily, my new husband's parents are still around and we can spend the holidays with them. They come to our house and I do all the work because they are very old (93 and 90). I'm exhausted when it is all over but I am so glad to have a family again. I say this by way of adding a little perspective. It seems like a pain when there is family around and expectations for holiday sharing, but I say make the most of those times in whatever way suits, because the holiday season may come when there are fewer choices.

[Ohioan]

Margie, that's a beautiful and very important observation. Isn't it sad how we sometimes don't appreciate what we have until it's no longer there, and how little we realize that people who don't have what we have would gladly take all the pains just to have the joys?

Warmly, Phoebe

[Terri-Lynn2]

Phoebe,

I couldnt have said it better myself. Thank you for expressing that so beautifully. It sure puts things into a new perspective.

My father was also an orphan and spent his holidays locked in an attic (worse then anything hollywood can portray) and that was one of the reasons we wanted to keep christmas morning because this means soooo much to him, never having that when he grew up.

Thank you Maggie for reminding us all the true meaning of christmas.

Terri

[gainesm]

I have also been married a year and last year Christmas/Thanksgiving was not too bad. My husband has a brother that is married and I have a sister that is married also, so trying to plan dinner was very difficult. However, all of our parents were very understanding that we were now our own family and had to do what was best for us. What we found helpful was doing Thanksgiving Day with his parents and family and Christmas Day with my family. Not everyone was able to attend each dinner but we tried to make it to the large family gatherings that fell before Thanksgiving or Christmas and that way we were able to come and go and still see everybody. Until we have children we will use this system and just alternate each year. It worked for my parents who have been married 27 years and I hope that it will work for us. http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif

[Gail]

Originally posted by Terri-Lynn:
Hi Gail,

I was happy that you popped up, we havent heard much from you lately and I have been wondering if you were still around. Its just not the same without your expertise and wit!!!

Terri

No more of that stuff, Terri, or I'll need a crowbar to get my big head through the doorway. http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/redface.gif