? Gift exchange called Mystery gift or

[madpots]

White Elephant. We have always drawn names at Christmas but this year my daughters thought it would be fun to do something different. They want to have everyone bring an unmarked gift worth a certain amount. Then they draw numbers and somehow you select a gift and someone can take it away from you. I am confused and the girls seem vague on the rules. Is anyone familiar with this?

[Terri_A]

I do this with a group of girlfriends every year. Here's how we do it. We each draw a number. #1 goes first, picks a package and unwraps it. Then #2 goes - she can take #1's item or open a new package. If she takes #1's item then #1 opens another package. You keep going through the numbers and new people can take previous gifts, and if a previous gift is taken from someone they can also steal an open gift or open a new one. Does that make it clearer at all? The only other rule we have is that an opened gift can only be stolen 3 times and then it can't be taken anymore. The best number to draw is the last one, because you get your pick of EVERYTHING!

It's a lot of fun!

[cocoa'smom]

We do it the same was that Terri A described, except that at the end, #1 gets to go one more time....in that case, #1 is the best # to have. Not sure exactly why #1 goes again, that's just the way I've always played it. It is so much fun!!

[MNGirlTX]

That's the way we do it, too. Only we start with the highest number and work our way down to #1.

[ErinM]

Yep, that's what we do in our incredibly large family as well! (Not brothers and sisters, but aunts/uncles/cousins on my father's side)

[madpots]

That seems simple enough. I'm leary, but it might be fun. I just think it will be hard to find a suitable gift since there are both genders, although most are in the same age range.

I don't normally get in on the name exchange, but since this is different I thought I might. I was looking in some catalogs to get suggestions. I couldn't find anything I thought would be appropriate. Finally I thought about a gift package of cheese or something similar. Everybody likes food!

Thank you for the information.

[Lauren]

Isn't that called a Yankee Swap? Or maybe it's just a New England thing.

[BucknellAlum]

Isn't that called a Yankee Swap? Or maybe it's just a New England thing.

I have heard it called a Yankee Swap and a Chinese Auction, although they are both probably un-PC terms to use.

And yes, you can do this with both genders - there is always food, books, gift certificates, Christmas decorations, etc. One year I was at a party that had a gift exchange and the most traded gift was a box of new batteries of all sizes: AAA, AA, D etc.!

[Kiwismommy]

Cheese is a great idea! Other suggestions that I've liked....wine, DVD, nice serving tray, Cookbook, candle holder, golf balls.....I tend to purchase something I would really like. What's fun is seeing significant others trying to get something for their mate.

This can go on for a long time so sometimes a rule of "a gift can only be traded 3 times" might be warranted.

Have fun with it!

[Blissful_in_TX]

We used to do this on my mom's extended side of the family, and a bottle of alcohol was always the most popular item. ;)

But we stopped doing it a couple years ago b/c it was taking soooo much time to get through everybody, and a lot of people would just regift items that they themselves didn't want, so many people would get stuck with a not-so-good gift.........which isn't a big deal if the limit is only like $10-15, but it kind of stinks when the gift is supposed to be $25 or more. One year one of us picked an alumni item for a university we didn't attend :rolleyes:

[madpots]

Good suggestions. We had thought $50, but after reading your comments I think that is a little steep for what may turn out to be a White Elephant!

[___Rhianna___]

We do this with my extended family, and it is a lot of fun. We call it Dirty Santa and I've also heard it called Pirate's Christmas. We don't have the condition that #1 gets to go again. We tried that one year and no one liked it that way. We don't have a limit on the number of times an item can be stolen, but we have the rule that if a single person has had a certain item three times it's retired and that person gets to keep it. We also have the rule that you can't immediately take something back that has been stolen from you. (This leads to my aunt and uncle teaming up every year and he'll steal back what she wants, but we've come to expect it.) Another thing we do is that each person who brings a gift to play marks the gift for a man, a woman, or neutral, and we separate them into piles accordingly.

[sneezles]

Good suggestions. We had thought $50, but after reading your comments I think that is a little steep for what may turn out to be a White Elephant!


We've always called this game "Scrooge" but with a price tag of $50 I don't think Scrooge or White Elephant would be appropriate. I think the gifts would be very nice at that level...assuming that all players would spend that amount.

[wwhirledpeas]

We have this exchange at two different family gatherings for more than 5 years each. We LOVE it. Each started to keep the elderly relatives out of the stores buying everyone gifts.

We follow these rules

http://www.amazing-christmas-ideas.com/chinese-christmas-gift-exchange.html.

I don't think this has been previously mentioned.... I suggest that the freeze rule be enforced before you start. When a gift is "stolen" four time , it is frozen and can not be selected again. In the early years at each side there was one or two gift that was extremely popular and guests that put a lot of importance in what they got. This resulted in a loop that went on and on and on and on. When this happens - someone has to give up and it's not a happy ending. When the freeze rule is agreed upon before you start, it can be used as a strategy, at the worst. It ends pleasantly within a decent time frame and everyone is planning next year.

We have $10.00 - 15.00 price range at both for each gift. I have a husband and two older children so I used to buy 8 of these type gifts a year. Starting last year - I made my kids find their own.

Popular gifts we have had over the years:
food coins to local restaurant
box full of lottery tickets
gift card to subway-chipolte-sheetz-starbucks
Burt's bees product collection
small wooden step stool
camping pie maker
camp lantern
basic bird feeder
humidifier

[magdon]

If it becomes enough of a family tradition, you can have one gosh-awful joke gift that is always put back in the swap every year. My husbands family had this ceramic boot that always came back (you had to do some creative wrapping so no one knew what it was). The really funny thing was that one year his sister decided that she wanted it for a planter or something and we never saw it again-- everyone was a bit upset!

[Jazzmatazz49]

We call it Dirty Santa, and the main rule you should probably set up is to set a limit on how many times you can steal during one round. It can make for a very long evening if you don't.

[Kristilyn1]

We call it Dirty Santa, and the main rule you should probably set up is to set a limit on how many times you can steal during one round. It can make for a very long evening if you don't.

We call it a Yankee Swap and do it with our extended family every Christmas night. We also let #1 go at the end. We have never had a limit on how many times a gift can be "stolen". For us, that is half the fun. A really popular gift may pass through the hands of just about everyone there and that is what we find hilarious. The strategy becomes that you pick a gift you like, but that you don't think anyone will steal, unless you have a fabulous number. Every year we have a really embarrassing gift that Aunt Elaine's kids always make sure that she opens. They are good sports and make sure she never has to keep it, but it is hilarious watching her open tiny red thongs with enormous matching bras, etc. She enjoys it just as much as everyone else.

The most important thing I can tell people who are new to this--is you have to buy into the fact that it is supposed to be FUN. There are years that I have brought home ugly, useless and really stupid gifts in spite of the fact that my gifts are always thoughtful and popular. I have also brought home gifts that are obviously less than the limit set. If you spend too much time worrying about that, you will not enjoy yourself.

I do have a question though, why would lots of stealing make it go longer? I'm wondering if there might be a difference in how we do it.

Kristi

[Jazzmatazz49]

What I said was, limit the steals per ROUND. (Of course a gift can continue to be stolen in later rounds, that IS half the fun.)Once three steals have been done in a round, the last person has to choose a new wrapped gift from the table. Maybe with a small group it wouldn't be an issue, but our faculty party has about 35 guests, and one year it went on for hours. The fun sort of wears off after a while.

[hollysmom]

When I have been involved in these things at work, I would go to Big Lots, etc. and stock a holiday basket with holiday-themed dish towels, pot holders, etc. Never failed to be one of the most popular items - and couldn't be easier.

SSM

[madpots]

I was not too enthused when my daughter mentioned this, but after reading all the fun it can be I think I might enjoy it. When my 7 children were small we started drawing names and now that they are all 'old' we still do it with the addition of in-laws. I always enjoyed seeing them take care to get something nice for their secret Santa, but we did have a joke gift. My oldest son is very precise in his clothes - one year my youngest son gave him a sort of plastic jacket...it was not a joke at the time - the youngest son had gotten himself one and thought it was so great he gave it for his gift! The next year the jacket, including tags, appeared as someone else's gift. That when on for years until it finally got lost. But it was always fun to see who got the 'jacket'! We still wonder what happened to it - no one can remember who had it last.:D :D

[barbara-cook]

We do this in my family - just call it the grab bag. We buy one gift for men and one for women. Sometimes it gets nasty - like last year someone put a 50' extension cord in for men and my 23 year old neice wanted to get it. My other neice's husband wouldn't hear of giving it up. Why she wanted it, I wasnt' sure, but she was determined! I was tempted to put one in this year so she could get it!

But this year I bought travel mugs and a bag of coffee for both genders. Most everyone drinks coffee and can always use a new travel mug. We have a $15 limit.

We usually stroll through Target, Bed, Bath and Beyond or Linen's and Things and can always find something that most anyone can use.

Oh, this is only for the adults. The younger kids get their own gifts.

[MNGirlTX]

We buy "gender neutral" gifts. The "rule" is that you buy something around $20 that you wouldn't mind getting yourself. Of course, that means that sometimes "gender neutral" means a set of drill bits. (Which is technically gender neutral, but mostly the men in our family want such gifts.)

Alcohol is usually a popular gift for us. When my Uncle Tom was still alive, he would always put one of his photographs in the pot (one that he took, not one of himself!), and that would be popular. And, yes, there are times when you get end up with something...less than perfect for you. Living in Texas, I didn't really need the electric blanket that plugged into the car lighter that I got to bring home 3 years ago! (And, I know that sentence doesn't read right, but I can't figure out how to make it any better!!!)

As everyone else has said, the most important thing to remember is that you are supposed to have FUN!