OT! Martha Stewart vs ME!

[Julia1Pin]

I would never normally post something like this, but a friend sent it to me, and it was the first time I ever laughed out loud at work. So, I thought you guys might enjoy:


From "Martha's way to MY WAY...." comic relief for y'all

Martha's Way: Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.

My Way: Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone for Pete's sake, you are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway.


Martha's Way: To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

My Way: Buy Hungry Jack Mash Potato Mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year.

Martha's Way: When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead & there won't be any white mess on the outside

of the cake.

My Way: Go to the bakery. They'll even decorate it for you.

Martha's Way: To tell whether an egg is fresh,immerse it in a pan of cool, salted water. If It sinks, it's fresh, but if it rises to the surface, throw it away.


My Way: Use the egg anyway. If you feel bad later, you will know it wasn't fresh.

Martha's Way: Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.

My Way: What leftover wine?

Martha's Way: Now look what you can do with Alka-Seltzer: To clean a toilet, drop two tablets in, wait 20 min, brush and flush. To remove a stain

from a vase or glass cruet, fill with water and drop in 2 tablets. To clean a thermos bottle, fill with water and drop in 4 tabs and let sit for an hour or

more (if necessary).

My Way: Put your vases and thermos in the toilet. Add a bottle of Alka-Seltzer tabs and you havesolved a whole bunch of problems at once.

[Laura B]

I got that email, too, but it was much longer (maybe you edited it to post it). Anyway, I thought much of it was hysterical. Even though, I tend to like Martha's way... :o

[Lynn B]

I'm LOL!!!

And I'd LOVE to see the rest of it!!!!!!!! :)

[Julia1Pin]

That's all I got :( . Please post more if there is any more.

[Laura B]

I already deleted it from my email. I'll see if the girl who sent it to me still has it.

[SQ]

Thanks for sharing. I received it in my email, too and also got a longer version. Here it is:


Martha's way #1: Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone
to prevent ice cream drips.

My way: Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's
sake, you are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it
anyway.


Martha's way #2: Use a meat baster to "squeeze" your pancake batter onto
the hot griddle and you'll get perfectly shaped pancakes every time.

My way: Buy the precooked kind you nuke in the microwave for 30 seconds.
The hard part is getting them out of the plastic bag.

Martha's way #3: To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag
with the potatoes.

My way: Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up
to a year.

Martha's way #4: To prevent egg shells from cracking, add a pinch of salt
to the water before hard boiling.

My way: Who cares if they crack, aren't you going to take the shells off
anyway?

Martha's way #5: To get the most juice out of fresh lemons, bring them to
room temperature and roll them under your palm against the kitchen counter
before squeezing.

My way: Sleep with the lemons in between the mattress and box springs.

Martha's way #6: To easily remove burnt-on food from your skillet, simply
add a drop or two of dish soap and enough water to cover bottom of pan, and
bring to a boil on stove top.

My way: Eat at Chili's every night and avoid cooking.

Martha's way #7: Spray your Tupperware with non stick cooking spray before
pouring in tomato based sauces and there won't be any stains.

My way: Feed your garbage disposal and there won't be any leftovers.

Martha's way #8: When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use
a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the
outside of the cake.

My way: Go to the bakery. They'll even decorate it for you.

Martha's way #9: Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the
refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.

My way: Celery? Never heard of the stuff.

Martha's way #10: Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking
to yield a beautiful glossy finish.

My way: The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg
whites over the crust and so I don't do it.

Martha's way #11: Place a slice of apple in hardened brown sugar to soften
it.

My Way: Brown sugar is supposed to be "soft"?

Martha's way #12: When boiling corn on the cob, add a pinch of sugar to
help bring out the corn's natural sweetness.

My Way: The only kind of corn I buy comes in a can.

Martha's way #13: To determine whether an egg is fresh, immerse it in a pan
of cool, salted water. If it sinks, it is fresh, but if it rises to the
surface, throw it away.

My way: Eat, cook, or use the egg anyway. If you feel bad later, you will
know it wasn't fresh.

Martha's way #14: Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub
it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.

My way: Martha, dear, the only reason this works is because you can't rub a
lime on your forehead without getting lime juice in your eye, and then the
problem isn't the headache anymore, it is because you are now blind.

Martha's way #15: Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice
cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.

My way: Leftover wine?

Martha's way #16: If you have a problem opening jars: Try using latex
dishwashing gloves. They give a non slip grip that makes opening jars easy.

My way: Go ask the very cute neighbor to do it.

Martha's way #17: Potatoes will take food stains off your fingers. Just
slice and rub raw potato on the stains and rinse with water.

My way: Mashed potatoes will now be replacing the anti-bacterial soap in
the handy dispenser next to my sink.

Martha's way #18: Now look what you can do with Alka Seltzer... * Clean a
toilet. Drop in two Alka-Seltzer tablets, wait twenty minutes, brush and
flush. The citric acid and effervescent action clean vitreous china. *
Clean a vase. To remove a stain from the bottom of a glass vase or cruet,
fill with water and drop in two Alka-Seltzer tablets. * Polish jewelry.
Drop two Alka-Seltzer tablets into a glass of water and immerse the jewelry
for two minutes. * Clean a thermos bottle. Fill the bottle with water, drop
in four Alka-Seltzer tablets, and let soak for an hour (or longer, if
necessary).

My way: Put your jewelry, vases, and thermos in the toilet. Add some
Alka-Seltzer and you have solved a whole bunch of problems at once.

[Laura B]

Thanks, SQ! That is the same version that I got. Very cute. :D

[Lynn B]

VERY FUNNY!!!

Thanks for sharing!!!!

[funnybone]

I had forward this off to some friends. They all loved it. I wonder if Martha is the same at home as she is on TV?! She must let her hair loose sometimes!

[Julia1Pin]

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