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View Full Version : Secrets For a Happy Marriage - Need (Humorous) Tips!



HejazSunKat
01-08-2008, 05:07 AM
A colleague of mine just announced her engagement last week (stuck her hand out over lunch with a bunch of us whereupon I promptly burbled onion soup down the front of my sweater in surprise :rolleyes: ). Her work friends are taking her out for dinner this Friday night and it has been suggested that we come up with some humorous (or not, maybe just wise and sage) advice for a happy marriage that we will pool together and let her read one by one during cocktails (so I can spill those all over me!). This will be a 2nd marriage for her, first for the groom-to-be and they have been living together awhile so it's not like they haven't figured most of this out but heck, it will be fun.

So far all I've got is:

"Never begin a sentence with "You Always..." or "You Never..."

Heard any good ones lately? Lay 'em on me! :D

TIA!

Beth
01-08-2008, 06:26 AM
Don't begin your married life with wedding cake that is a life-size replica of either of you. :D

Chefzhat
01-08-2008, 06:52 AM
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

KCSoccer
01-08-2008, 06:54 AM
My grandparents celebrated 73 years of marriage together before they passed away. My grandfather always said the secret to their long marriage was just two words: "Yes, Dear."

mst
01-08-2008, 07:07 AM
This is not advice, but it makes me think of my grandparents.:) My grandfather always used to say that when they got married, they agreed that she would make all of the unimportant decisions, and he would make all of the important decisions. Would you believe in 67 years of marriage, not one important decision?:D :p

raka1214
01-08-2008, 07:54 AM
Do your best to stay married to your husband, you wouldn't want to inflict THAT on the rest of the world.....

Husbands, you shouldn't leave them and you can't kill them.....

sfarler
01-08-2008, 08:13 AM
Here are thousands:

http://www.romancestuck.com/quotes/marriage-quotes-4.htm

shscharles
01-08-2008, 08:27 AM
A favorite DH heard on the Comedy Channel:

When arguing, you have a choice. You can be right, or you can be happy.:D

ctd1103
01-08-2008, 08:50 AM
This was actually written in our guest book at our wedding six years ago - it still cracks me up... "may all your ups and downs be in between your sheets." (smirk.....!) :)

Kathy B
01-08-2008, 09:08 AM
My grandfather always used to say that when they got married, they agreed that she would make all of the unimportant decisions, and he would make all of the important decisions. Would you believe in 67 years of marriage, not one important decision?:D :p

Too cute! :)

Pony
01-08-2008, 09:30 AM
If you are going to argue, argue naked. :D

Gilgamesh37
01-08-2008, 10:07 AM
(re: the important/non-important decisions, the version I've heard is "So my Mom made all the minor decisions, like what kind of car to buy and what neighborhood to live in. Dad made all the major decisions, like what our foreign policy on China should be.")

Separate computers
Separate checking accounts
Separate bathrooms

Kerri
01-08-2008, 10:21 AM
A funny one I heard before I was married, "Just remember those three little words...let's go out!"

MinEaston
01-08-2008, 11:04 AM
My maid of honor hosted a wine-based engagement party for us (coming up on 13 years ago), where she had everyone affix a label with some advice to their favorite bottle of wine. We still have some of those bottles!

But, by far, one of my favorites was "The toilet paper comes over the top"

(We also had "Never go to bed angry.")

Jewel
01-08-2008, 11:06 AM
When you are standing at the altar gazing into your future husband's eyes listening to the minister talk about your future as husband and wife, don't picture the young and vibrant man in front of you. Picture less hair, a few less teeth, more wrinkles, an age spot or two... picture a few more chins and a couple of wiry black hairs sticking prominantly out of one ear and an even longer one out of one nostril. Gaze lovingly down and picture a little belly hanging over a somewhat shriveled and shrunken hoohoo.

If you can picture this and still want to marry this man, continue gazing into his eyes and say "I do...". :D

LakeMartinGal
01-08-2008, 12:26 PM
Marry someone you like to converse with... the sexual fires may die down, and conversation will be the most important thing left!;)

Puppylove
01-08-2008, 07:38 PM
As my own DH is fond of repeating: A happy wife is a happy life!

And I tend to agree!

jmarie
01-08-2008, 07:49 PM
I saw this one online and thought it was cute...
☻Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half-shut afterwards. - Benjamin Franklin

HejazSunKat
01-09-2008, 05:25 AM
Thanks everyone! There are already some jewels here that I'll be sharing on Friday night!

Beth, I sent the link with the lifesized wedding cake to the bride-to-be yesterday! :D