March "Old" Toddler Moms

[gertdog]

Hey all, I didn't contribute much last month but thought I'd get us started for March! (I'm assuming the moms of young toddlers want to hang together on the thread Kerri started but it's not my intent to exclude anyone who wants to be here!)

Me: Stephanie, 36
DH: Jason, 35
DS: Ryan, 2 yrs. 5 mos.

To continue the discussion of bedtime routines from last month's thread... DH and I alternate nights putting Ryan to bed. We eat dinner at 6:00 and he goes to bed at 7:30. After dinner, he and I play or read while DH cleans up the kitchen :D Some nights we watch 10-15 minutes of one of his Scholastic videos (these have short stories like Good Night Gorilla and Bear Snores On; each one is ~5 min. and Ryan knows he can watch no more than 3 stories). At about 7:15 whoever is in charge of bedtime changes Ryan's diaper and puts him in his jammies. He does goodnight hugs and kisses with the other parent, then heads upstairs with his "guys" (favorite stuffed animals) and a few board books that he likes to sleep with. Once upstairs, teeth are brushed and we read 2 stories. Then he picks out his nighttime music, gets hugs and kisses, and we turn out the light. On a bath night we just go up a bit earlier, do the bath, and put his jammies on upstairs, but otherwise it's the same routine.

Lately he's tried saying he doesn't want the covers on and refusing to lie down in his crib; then, a few minutes later he'll cry and call us saying he wants his covers. Or he'll toss his blankie out of the crib and then call us to come get it for him. Our stance on this is tough tootsies. I make a point of telling him that if he doesn't want his covers on now, I won't come back later to pull them up for him. Seems to be working okay.

I think I said this last month, but it's true this month too- Ryan is just a blur. Always moving, always chattering. He loves to help me with anything and everything... cooking, cleaning, you name it... and while I can certainly get things done faster without him, it's actually a pleasure to have him wanting to do these things with me, so I make accommodations and it's fun.

Question for you all- I'd like to get some kind of outdoor toy for this spring/summer- either a playhouse or a climber. We had the Step2 Kangaroo Climber last summer but it's really just too small and uninteresting at this point. I don't want to spend $$$ on a big swingset since we will probably move within a year. Any recommendations? Thoughts on a playhouse vs. a climber/slide combo? Thanks!

[buffygirl]

Thanks for getting us started. I can't believe Rex is officially approaching 3! What a big boy!


Lately he's tried saying he doesn't want the covers on and refusing to lie down in his crib; then, a few minutes later he'll cry and call us saying he wants his covers. Or he'll toss his blankie out of the crib and then call us to come get it for him. Our stance on this is tough tootsies. I make a point of telling him that if he doesn't want his covers on now, I won't come back later to pull them up for him. Seems to be working okay.

We've been going through this for a couple of months! Unfortunately I haven't been as good at laying the law down. It started with him wanting us to take all of his stuffed animals out of his room at night, then went on from there. For weeks I left the animals piled outside his room, finally I just gave up and put them away. We never know which itmes he's going to become "scared" of at night. His room is now pretty barren, it looks sad.:p I guess it is just him trying to exert some control over his surroundings...

I really like this stage of toddler hood. It is so much fun. And most of the time Rex is really sweet. He's started telling people he loves them which is so sweet. And he loves to be the caretaker of his little stuffed toys, very cute. And then he's also all boy where everything becomes a tumbling match. Very fun!

Kim

[Couperine]

Hiya Stephanie and Kim! It's our toddlers who are "old", not us! Maybe once they all hit 3, we can switch to a young preschool or the obvious 3-Year Olds.

Anyhow,
Me: Nancy, 34
DH: Mark, 36
DS1: Ethan, 2 years and 10 months :eek: He's still my baby.
DS2: edd 5/5, and he'll be my baby too when he's 50.

Sigh, hormones. Just thinking about my babies getting older makes me teary - I love how sweet Ethan is now.

Ethan is doing so well at going to the bathroom by himself - over the last weeks, he's made more trips each day completely independent of me. I've heard him do it a few times during the night too - I'm thrilled. He's also getting up in the morning at daylight, going to the bathroom, heading for the remote and turning on the tv to watch some early cartoons. I love the independence, but it's almost embarrassing to see how well he knows the remote. He now can pause his show to take his bathroom break - TiVo is easy, but easy enough for a 2 year old? :)

He loves superheroes - I make up a story for naptime and bedtime with him as the hero, and I make up new superhero verses for the Kookaburra song each day. He spends vast portions of the day rescuing blocks, legos, trucks, cars, dog food, you name it, it can be rescued. We've been working on our dog's obedience training, and Ethan has decided that the cat needs it too. At some point during the day, I come upon him holding the cat down, telling him to sit. I laugh inside and explain that it doesn't work that way for cats, but I'm not surprised that the cat has found new hiding places in the house. I'll have to videotape it for later - it's adorable since he's so earnest about it.

He's been playing the piano alot - he likes to differentiate between series of white keys and black keys, and he likes counting the groups of 2 and 3 black keys. I've noticed more motor skills in conjunction - he's using more single finger presses instead of smashing blobs of keys; his writing is improving too. I'm finally able to keep crayons and butcher paper continually available - he no longer wants to write on the walls and eat the crayons. I'm trying to find some very early piano books to see how they work with pre-schoolers - I never taught them until they were in kindergarten.

As for play equipment, I've not done any research at all since we're moving soon; I'm interested in what you find out Stephanie! We've also had bedtime issues - he kept opening his door to see what we were doing, but we've resolved the worst of it by leaving his door open a little so he can hear better, but still be in bed.

Enough from me for now - I love how wonderful he is, and I'm so grateful that I got to have the joy of being someone's mom rather than someone's unwanted stepmother. Darn hormones making me cry again... :o

[DanaSD]

checking in - its been awhile since I've checked in here. I think I've been sick all year! stomach virus, 2 colds that BOTH turned into a sinus infection, finished the second set of antiobiotics and felt better for a few days and now I'm on my 3rd cold for the year and I have horrible allergies (thats AZ). Thats what you get when you start your kid in preschool - ugh, at least Brendan has always had milder versions.

He's adjusted to school and drop offs have been good but we've decided this isn't the school for us so in 2 weeks we're starting him at a montessori. I'm very excited for this new school so hopefully it will be a good match for him. Just everything about the school seems much better - love the teaching style, school felt calm yet everyone was busy (instead of the chaos at his school), we send in snacks and lunch (instead of corn dogs, cookies, cake, etc), no food as rewards during learning (no jellybeans during circle time at 830 am), encouraged parental involvement and so much more. We're doing the 5 day week now and I think that works better for him - more of a regular schedule then the MWF.

Unfortunately during the starting school transition and with him getting a cold, we've allowed several bad habits to get introduced - leaving the door open to his room, sleeping with a sippy cup of water, sleeping in bed with us part way through the night (a lot of this had to do with the "leaving him at school"). As soon as we get through the transition to the new school and if I ever get better, we need to work on these.

Also, bedtimes have been more of a challenge - sounds like we're not the only ones. Also, he's been waking a 2 or 3 am with similar challenges. More stuffed animals, more blankets, fix the blankets, etc

ok, reading back through my post I feel like its all complaints. Things are really good though, just some toddler challenges. I love this stage - he's so much fun, is really developing a personality and is now talking by putting words together. And he's all boy - loves motorcycles, fire engines, construction trucks, dinosaurs, dragons and is very good at getting dirty.

no progress on potting training but his new school doesn't use diapers - they said he should arrive in underwear or training pants :eek: :eek: :eek:

[DanaSD]

Stephanie - we have a playhouse (its one of the larger ones, not sure if its Little Tikes or Step 2). I bought it used from Craigs List. When kids are over they use it as a place to run into, then run out - they like to open and close the doors and windows. No pretend house play yet. It does come apart pretty easily so you could move it.

We also have the Little tikes foldling slide but he's starting to get a little big for it.

For Christmas he got one of those collaspable tunnels which works great for active outdoor play but is relatively inexpensive and easy to move.

Brendan just recently started to like swings so I think we're going to look into one of the large wooden playsets. The kids seem to like the ones with forts on top.

[mst]

Me: 33
DH: 37
DD: Ilyssa, 2
Pregnant: 29 weeks!

Hi everyone. Thanks for the thoughts and direction on bedtime. I had to step in and do a few nights, and now I read to Ilyssa in my bed. Nights are going much, much better. It used to take DH an hour and a half to get her down, complete with screaming, and her foot hanging over the side of the crib. I am so glad that this is easier for DH. Poor guy is doing so much around the house, and this was such a dreaded task for him.

Steph- we got a whole bunch of amazing things on Craigslist. Climber/slide, playhouse, etc. Each was like $50. You have to watch Craigslist, and know what an appropriate price is. Very good purchases for us. We also bought a swingset this year. We bought it at the very beginning of winter (and we are in Boston, so the weather is miserable), and we got a *crazy* deal. They sold us their floor model, because they wanted it gone for the spring when they get the new ones. We got 50% off the price, plus free delivery and set up, plus, the guy just kept throwing in things to make sure the deal went, and to get things out of his storage. Since it is the floor model, it has every single bell and whistle- including a parent hammock-y swing which is so great! I think it will be perfect for this summer. I can be on the swingset with Ilyssa, but be in a comfy chair with the baby. So, if you are in the market for a swingset, you might want to look now before it is the season, there might still be deals out there.

Dana- interesting to hear your experience with daycare. Glad that you are finding one that is a better fit. We got super, super lucky and found a good fit the first time. And, believe me, we were not too picky since we needed daycare ASAP. We ended up at a home daycare, which I did not think I wanted, but I think it was a blessing in disguise. I am amazed that they do not allow diapers. Yikes! Ilyssa did pee on the potty at school, and we made a very big deal about it, but not doing too much at home. She keeps trying at school (she is much younger than the other kids, so she feels peer-pressure to try), and we finally took out the potty seat at home. We took a picture- she looked so cute on it!

[food girl]

Hi guys. I feel a little misty thinking back three years ago when we were all on the pg thread waiting on these (now) toddlers. Now I see many are working on #2 or already have had the second!

We are suffering through another cold rainy day. Spring? Where are you? We stay at home a lot and it is getting really old. I employ the t.v. way more than I care to admit. I keep telling myself when we finally get decent weather we will be outside all the time, this makes me feel better about the fact that Anna can now play, stop, pause and re-start the dvd player. :(

I am enjoying having the girls play together more and more. After breakfast they usually play together WELL for an hour. I get dinner prepped and clothes folded. After that hour, things kind of fall apart, thus the video.

Anna's new obsession is toilet paper. She sits on the potty and unrolls the whole roll on the floor. No amount of scolding, explaining etc. seems to be helping. Yesterday she did #2 in the potty and proceeded to unroll a whole roll in the potty before I found it. Since we couldn't flush it as it was I had to fish out a big wet wad. Ick.

News on my front, I am being wooed to come back to work. I have had a couple of offers for part-time jobs and I'm being taken out to dinner to talk about another position tomorrow. I feel so conflicted about going back. We have things figured out here financially and getting even a PT job would require yet another change of preschool for Anna and finding somewhere for Lucy. I don't even have to tell you all what a head ache that will be. I know a lot of you would like to stay home, but trust me, it is hard (ahem, the videos?) but then again, I love being here to put them down for naps and just BE. You know?

Ok, enough of my drama. Regarding outside play things. I second the crawling tunnel and I have to reinforce my love for the skuut bike. Anna rides hers inside and outside. She is getting so good at it. She glides around with her feet in the air and when we go for walks she rides her bike and I push the stroller and it is really hard for me to keep up sometimes. I also have a big rubbermaid container that is maybe 6 inches deep and I keep play sand in it but it sits up on a milk crate. Everyone who comes over loves it because they can play in the sand, but they don't sit in the sand. When not in use you just snap the lid on and it keeps it clean and dry. Total cost : $5

[gertdog]

Thanks for all the ideas on outdoor play stuff. The comments about those tunnels made me remember that Ryan received a pop-up tunnel/tent set for Christmas that I tucked away in the basement for this summer. He also has a hand-me-down Kettler trike that I think he'll be ready for, and we have a sandbox. I'll keep an eye on craigslist- I had good luck getting Ryan's Learning Tower there. Right now I like this little playhouse from Step2 because it has a built-in floor w/ drain holes. It is tiny compared to some of the others, but if we are only going to use it this year it might fit the bill.

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51hq6qIrjAL._AA280_.jpg

Dana, I'm glad you found a school that feels like it will be a better fit for you. Hope the transition is relatively pain-free!

Meredith, glad to hear the bedtime issues are getting better! I try to take it as a compliment that Ryan would rather be up with us than sleeping by himself. :) Having Ilyssa come read in your bed with you sounds like a nice solution.

Foodgirl, (I am so sorry I am blanking on your name), we have had to remove the toilet paper and the kleenex box from our downstairs bathroom. I put them on top of the medicine cabinet; otherwise Ryan unrolls/pulls out every last sheet! It's a little annoying though- I keep forgetting that the tp roll is out of reach on the medicine cabinet til AFTER I pee and need it... :p

[RebeccaT]

I wish I could begin this post with how wonderful this stage with my little girl is, because it truly is. But right now I am so mad and frustrated with her that I could scream.

The nighttime with her sucks. Completely. Starting around 5:30, when she doesn't want me to tend to Ben and give him his dinner, etc. b/c she wants to play with me, continuing with her dinner, which she refuses to eat, and on to the fits she pitches about every little thing from 7:00-7:30, which prevent Ben from going to sleep (he's crying right now, was almost asleep when her temper tantrum at 7:15 woke him up and he can't get back to sleep)... it's making me want to scream.

The worst thing is dinner. She refuses to eat. Well, she'll eat one thing on her plate, usually the fruit or vegetable (I guess I shouldn't complain about that), and then refuse to eat anything else. And we are not talking about just things that are new (although sometimes that's the case), but any old thing. She just won't eat supper. We've tried Ellyn Satter (putting it all on her plate and letting her decide what to eat) - but then she whines all the way to bed about how hungry she is. We've tried "eat this many bites" but she screws around for so long because the loves the attention. We've yelled at her, which I'm not proud of. We've put her in time-out, which is totally inappropriate for meals I know. We have done everything, including letting her go hungry, but that results in a nighttime waking and her crying "I'm hungry!" or her waking at an ungodly hour in the morning demanding breakfast. I simply do not know what to do. Tonight's drama was because we took away all play and story time that she usually gets between dinner and bath/bed because she messed around for so long and it was bedtime by the time she got up from the table (without eating anything but her pear and bell peppers). This is every single night - poor DH doesn't even want to come home for dinner anymore, but he does because he knows I can't do this alone. It's dreadful. The only nights this doesn't happen are the 1-2 nights a week where our schedule demands that I make her a separate supper, either chicken fingers or mac and cheese. I REFUSE TO COOK FOR ONLY HER, but here I am with a child who won't eat what I am making for the rest of the family. I am at the end of my rope.

But she's great. I love this stage. :rolleyes:

[mst]

Rebecca- hmm. I have been trying to think of some mindblowing fabulous solution that you have not thought of, but it sounds like you guys have tried everything. The only suggestion that I have, is maybe to let Julia help you cook, so that she feels more invested in the process. I know that takes up plenty of time and slows things down, but maybe it could help. This morning, DH had Ilyssa "help" him put raisins in her cereal. "I put one here, I put one here. Oops- not there!" Makes breakfast last forever.

Foodgirl- the SAHM vs. WOHM is such a hard decision. It is nice that you are being wooed, whether or not you choose to go back.

[RebeccaT]

Meredith, that's a good suggestion, and it's something I do whenever I can. In fact, Julia drags a chair over to the counter whenever she sees me there working, even if it's not cooking! She loves to help me with cookies, muffins, pancakes, salads, etc. It's so cute, she'll say, "I help? I help?" The problem is that, for dinner, I am usually using the stove and I don't want her near the flame, so I tell her she can't help this time, because it's a "mommy job" (she understands that there are things that only mommy can do, and things she can help with). She doesn't get upset, but it definitely leads to more dinnertime fights.

I didn't kill my daughter last night, just so you all know. And, amazingly, she didn't wake up early or in the night hungry. I guess we'll just have to keep on with "You don't want to eat it? Fine. But that's all there is."

What do you all do when your kids are eating their food, but playing with it at the same time? I've said "Food goes in your mouth or on the plate" more times than I can count. Her favorite thing is to "paint" with whatever saucy thing is on her plate. Argh.

[LaraW]

Rebecca, could you give Julia a snack when Ben is eating his dinner? I know that might fill her up before you eat dinner, but maybe you could give her a "shortened" version of what she is going to be having for dinner. Just a thought. If she eats her fruits/veggies pretty well at dinner, maybe try giving her one of your other sides. Another idea might be to let her sit at the table and do play doh or color.

I remember being in that exact same stage, and we called the 4pm to bedtime window the witching hour.

We have had similar issues with Natalie lingering at the table for-ev-er and have had some success in using a timer. Set it for 1 or 2 minutes, and when it goes off, dinnertime (or in our case, breakfast) is over.

Good luck. I can tell you that we made it through the "jealous-of-the-baby-phase" and everyone in our house is still alive. It was a day-by-day thing, for a while though ;)

Our current table/eating challenge is mouth stuffing and putting food under the placemat. We go through both at nearly every meal. I think the mouth-stuffing is getting better and really only happens when Colin is really hungry.

We are doing pretty well here. Colin had an ear infection last week, so he was feeling kind of off for a while but is doing better. He has to take Zithromycin (sp?) because he is allergic to both penicillin and sulfa drugs. It makes me nervous to have to use those kinds of antibiotics for him, as they just seem so much harsher.

Colin's speech continues to come along. I think I heard his first 3-word sentence at dinner last night: more orange, please :D So, so happy to hear that. We will continue with the once a week therapy through till the fall.

Happy Friday, everyone!

[buffygirl]

Hugs, Rebecca. I feel ya! I haven't posted about our food challenges lately because I'm downright embarassed that we have a kid that will eat absolutley nothing but junk (chicken strips, cheese pizza, fries, carrots and an occasional apple or yogurt):( .

We also have trouble between 6:30 and 7:30, it is generally an all out free for all and is EXTREMELY frustrating. It starts with Rex not wanting whatever we have to eat, surprise! He then whines and cries. If he can't quiet himself, I send him to his room to complete his crying. Generally he comes back about 3 -5 minutes later, settles down, and sometimes eats. I'm not proud of this solution, but it is the only thing that stops the crying. I refuse to have dinner ruined any more than it already is every night.

I can completely sympathize with both you and your husband. It sucks to have the household in turmoil. We did well from 2 to 2 1/2, but 2 1/2 to 3 seems like it is going to be a doozie!

Kim

[MinEaston]

Phew! I'm so glad some of you have "come out of the closet," as it were, about dinnertime/bedtime battles. We're in the same boat! Anna just turned 3 and she's FAR more stubborn and whiny than before. I think part of it is her recent transition to the 3-4YO room at daycare, where the class size is now 18 (compared to 8) and there are older, more aggressive boys. Not that she's really shy, but I'd define her as a "cautious" child.

(((Rebecca))), Anna's not easy at dinner time either. I know that her habits are mostly due to our crazy evening schedules (we're involved in far too many things!), but on the nights that we all eat dinner together she won't eat much. She does well at breakfast and lunch, and through about 5:30, so I try to make sure what she gets then makes up the bulk of her nutrition for the day.

Anna will eat any fruit you set in front of her. Veggies, that's another story. Corn, sometimes. Peas & carrots, rarely. Beans? No way. She's also not fond of meat either, but she will eat TJ's chicken and sandwiches w/ham or turkey and cream cheese. A multivitamin a day, is what I say. :rolleyes:

Anyone have any tips on brushing teeth? Anna's OK with doing it most nights with just water but refuses to try toothpaste, despite the fact that she picked out the Thomas toothpaste and a Hello Kitty motorized toothbrush (I use a sonicare and she wanted a noisy toothnbrush like Mama's)...

[DanaSD]

Brendan still isn't much of a eater of meals either - he's a big grazer. Most of his daily diet is fruit and cereal. Doesn't touch any vegetables - the only ways I sneak some in is sweet potato fries, pumpkin bread and the tomato thats in spaghetti/pizza (and these aren't even true vegetables). Occasionally he'll take 1 bite of carrot. For meat he loves ground beef, pepperoni, and bacon.

His big step forward is that he now eats spaghetti and pizza. So occasionally he does eat what we're eating if its these 2 things. Because of his early bedtime, I usually feed him his own meal for dinner - probably one reason he doesn't eat a wide variety but with early bedtime (630 and has been as early as 530), a family meal just wasn't going to happen. I try on weekends to have a family meal and make sure this is one food he will eat - sometimes its just fruit and bread. Lately when we get home from school he'll eat a cheese stick, cereal, and some fruit. Then at dinner, a few (often 1 or 2) bites of chicken (Trader Joes chicken fingers), some fruit and he's done.

I try not to let it bother me.

[lisas3575]

Rebecca, you've gotten some good tips here. We aren't dealing with the two-kid eating issues, obviously (plus Owen is younger than Julia), but we've had luck with setting the timer like Lara and removing him from the table until he's ready to come back and eat like a civilized human. :p

I'm sure you have all the time in the world to read, but I really found the Love and Logic toddler book (and class) helped me work through some of my hangups about Owen's eating habits. He's not a great eater either (it is getting better though). Telling Owen, "this is what's for dinner, but you don't have to eat it. Breakfast will be here in the morning" helped me loosen up a lot. And I just steeled myself to repeat "I'm sorry you're hungry, but breakfast will be served at 7" if he woke up in the night, but he didn't.

Hang in there, there is nothing as maddening as mealtime struggles. They are the worst!

[food girl]

((((rebecca)))))

We have dinnertime issues 4 out of 7 nights. I try to put tiny amounts of food on her plate so that at least she's not overwhelmed. Sometimes she will eat <TBS of food. Things she loves she won't always eat. I do give a little snack (2 crackers) after nap time. The whining KILLS ME. One of my neighbors has a blog of recipes that have worked for her whole family (a toddler and 2 11 mo old twins). She's a neat person and I do feel better knowing that her daughter eats a lot of ... hotdogs. http://www.fulltummies.blogspot.com/

Here is our solution to this time of night, it's 6:30 now, my DH is playing the harmonica. Does he know how? Not really. The girls love it and it calms them down strangely enough. Other instruments don't seem to have the same effect and of course Anna likes to play it too.

Lisa

[ggs830]

Rebecca, we are totally having the same issues with Shaelyn. She has become so difficult at meals...some days she eats great at every meal, but more often than not, she will take a few bites of her food, and then claim that she's all done. Cajoling, bribing, yelling--nothing works, she just gets more stubborn and insistent. I'm just resigned at this point, and hoping that this is just a phase that will eventually pass.

We are having some serious sleeping issues. Shaelyn goes down okay, and usually sleeps about 10-10.5 hours straight, but then is up for the day at 5:30 or so. Previously, when she woke up at that time, she'd come into bed with us and go back to sleep for another hour or so. The last few weeks, she comes into bed, and rolls around, talks to us, pokes us, tries to climb over us, etc. I tried leaving her in her room, but that just results in her screaming and crying to come in our bed. I'm so exhausted from waking up so early every morning (and DS has not been sleeping well lately, due to teething and a cold).

On top of that, she's stopped napping. I mean, she still takes a nap, but she's only sleeping about 30-40 minutes. When I add up the amount of sleep she's getting now, she's sleeping about 1-2 hours less then she was a few weeks ago.

Any thoughts on what's going on? As far as I know, she's not getting any teeth, she's not sick, no new changes. I'm just at my wits end with the sleep thing (and, as an aside, b/t Shaelyn and DS, I am SO fed up with my kids not sleeping. I just want a good night's sleep again!! :( )

[gertdog]

Gouri, Ryan appears to be in the process of giving up his nap and I'm devastated. Some days he naps, some days he doesn't- same is true at daycare. And his naps, when they happen, are much shorter than they used to be. I've already decided that we're instituting an "hour of quiet time in your room, whether you sleep or not" policy because even if he doesn't need/want the nap, I need the break.

Hugs to Rebecca and everyone struggling with mealtimes. We don't struggle with what he eats, but boy do we have issues with the behavior. Fingerpainting in his food, dropping things on the floor, grabbing things from other peoples' plates, refusing to use utensils on occasion, and refusing to let DH and I exchange 2 words at the table that don't center on him. I've actually noticed that the last bit seems to be central to the problem. If we keep him engaged in a conversation he doesn't get into as much trouble, so we're trying to save the boring grownup talk for after dinner. We also use a sticker chart- he gets a sticker if he sits nicely and doesn't play with his food. 5 stickers and he gets a prize. I've noticed that he almost always gets a sticker at breakfast and lunch, but dinner is hit or miss, especially on daycare days when he's especially tired. I feel like we're making progress, though.

[RebeccaT]

Those were some great suggestions, everyone, and it's such a relief to know that I am not alone on mealtime battles. I am definitely going to try the timer, and I've been meaning to do a sticker chart for getting dressed in the AM so maybe I'll do a meal one too. Although I wonder if she'll even let me put the sticker on her chart... she likes to wear them. :) And Lisa, I have been meaning to get Love and Logic for a while - I need to get on that.

No dinner tonight - just fruit. We were at the inlaws, and they served quiche which we all thought she'd eat b/c she likes scrambled eggs, and likes pie, so we called it "egg pie." No dice. The dillemma was that MIL also had cookies for dessert, and we weren't sure whether to withold the cookies we were all eating as a motivator for her to eat some dinner, or whether we should remove the "reward" element from dinner and just let her have a cookie b/c it's just another food. We wound up with Nana giving her a cookie so that the parents wouldn't seem like the pushovers. :o :rolleyes: But when we came home, she immediately said "I'm hungry." We said, to quote gertdog, "Tough tootsies - dinner was an hour ago."

Hugs to those who are having nap issues. We have them from time to time, but generally Julia will still nap for at least an hour. She piddles around and tries to draw it out, though, and it makes me crazy. If she leaves her room, I don't even talk to her, I just point to her room, we walk back, and I tuck her back in. The only exception is to go to the potty, which believe me she has used as a bargaining chip to leave her room MANY times! :mad:

[gertdog]

Although I wonder if she'll even let me put the sticker on her chart... she likes to wear them. :)

Same issue here... now Ryan gets to put one on his shirt and one on his chart. :) I bought some cheap jumbo pack of little foil hearts, happy faces and stars (in the "teaching supplies" section at Staples) and we seem to have enough to last a lifetime! I keep finding them in the lint filter of the dryer though...

[Couperine]

The joys of mealtimes with toddlers - sigh. Ethan is trying to see if we'll give him different food if he doesn't eat what we give him - I refuse to play that game with him, so he's had more than a few meals the past few days where he eats two bites and that's it. My parents so badly wanted to give him cookies and candy all weekend, but he still had to play by the rules there too. He tries variations on the food refusal issue every now and then, but we've always been firm on sharing the same meal at every meal. I think our consistency every time he tries makes the phase pass faster.

Ethan has been through phases of long and short naps - I never figure out the reason why, but I'm pretty determined to retain quiet time in the afternoon so I've stuck to my guns through the short naps. He tried getting up before sunrise and us for a while too - we were very firm that he stays in his bed to sleep until the sun comes up. Of course, daylight savings time makes that bad timing if it were happening now, but we had a week or so of sending him back to bed with fairly short crying sessions and the problem went away. We tried letting him be in bed with us a few times, but he never ever goes back to sleep, so we stopped that and went with sending him back to bed. He wakes early every now and then, but we're very consistent about sending him back to bed now, and he usually goes back to sleep.

I'm sooooo thrilled that he's finally sleeping through the night without bathroom breaks. Kids have sleep cycles of around 4 hours, and during the waking phase, he kept getting me up to help him go to the bathroom. Over the last week, he's either gone to the bathroom by himself or just slept through the whole night - either way, he's not waking me up! :) He travelled so well over our weekend trip - a 5 hour car ride, but normal bathroom stops and actual naps during his usual naptime while in the car. He had no accidents anywhere we went - definitely a good phase of PT for him.

He's currently fascinated with trying to obedience train our cat - every morning I'm having to rescue the cat from being told to sit with Ethan smashing his bottom flat to the ground. Ethan also really wants to put the cat in our dog's kennel, and the stupid cat has let himself be put in there every single morning - you'd think he would learn not to get inside the kennel, but no, the cat just walks in and Ethan shuts the door.

I hope everyone is doing well - best wishes for a good week!

[MinEaston]

Hey fellow toddler mommies, in case you haven't seen or heard the news yet, our dear friend jphilg (Jen) has some "stinky news" regarding her health. Here's the link (http://community.cookinglight.com/showthread.php?t=116710) to the thread she's posted on the Other Stuff board.

((((Jen))))

[lisas3575]

Jen, you are in our thoughts constantly, as is Rebecca who's mom was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. :( (((((((Jen and Rebecca)))))))))

A friend passed along a link to a website that reviews movies as to the suitability for children-- Owen is too young yet to really enjoy movies, but I've bookmarked it for future reference.
http://www.parentpreviews.com/about_us.shtml

[lisas3575]

Can I just vent for a second? Owen is going through yet another horrible sleep phase. We put him to bed at 7:30, consistently, every night. Lately, though, he spends an hour to 90 minutes singing, talking, screaming, banging on the wall, and eventually crying. We are going in 2-3 times to lay him back down, tell him it's time to go to sleep, pat, pat, pat. UGH. I sooooo need a couple hours in the evening sans toddler-- he can't be up until 9pm! We get up at 6, he's usually up by 6:45 and only has a 1-2 hour nap. He needs more sleep, right? RIGHT? :p

I'm worried about losing what precious little adult time DH and I have. Hand me my badge--worst mommy in the world!

[gertdog]

Can I just vent for a second? Owen is going through yet another horrible sleep phase. We put him to bed at 7:30, consistently, every night. Lately, though, he spends an hour to 90 minutes singing, talking, screaming, banging on the wall, and eventually crying. We are going in 2-3 times to lay him back down, tell him it's time to go to sleep, pat, pat, pat. UGH. I sooooo need a couple hours in the evening sans toddler-- he can't be up until 9pm! We get up at 6, he's usually up by 6:45 and only has a 1-2 hour nap. He needs more sleep, right? RIGHT? :p


Well, Ryan is in the process of giving up his afternoon nap, and unfortunately that hasn't translated to longer sleep at night- he still goes down at 7:30 and is up by about 7. For a while I'd put him down for the nap and he'd cry and jump up and down in the crib while I sat downstairs and hoped he'd eventually fall asleep. Then I tried telling him that he didn't HAVE to sleep- he could sleep if he wanted or just play quietly in his crib, but he'd need to be in his crib. And for whatever reason it's worked like a charm- sometimes he falls asleep, sometimes he doesn't, but when he doesn't sleep he plays or reads or whatever for an hour or so w/o fuss. So, maybe it's a shot in the dark, but maybe you could try a similar strategy at bedtime? I feel for you- I've been so pleased with Ryan's early bedtime and the "grownup" time DH and I get each evening, and would be really stressed to feel like I was losing that time.

[mst]

Ilyssa has been trying to give up this nap since she is less than a year old. No joke. I have been pushing it so hard. She does not at all fall for the "play in your crib" routine. At daycare, she is the youngest by nine months, and is the worst napper. Apparently, she spends the whole time trying to engage the other kids. She mentioned yesterday that the teacher rubbed her back during naptime. I wonder if the teacher did that to keep Ilyssa quiet so the other kids would nap. My niece, who is a year older, still naps two hours each day. I am jealous.

Lisa- I do wonder if Owen doesn't need as much rest as he used to. Ilyssa does about 10-11 hours of sleep a day, including nap.

Cute story- We were playing Simon Says last night. (She gets Simon Says, but does not understand to not do commands if Simon doesn't say.) Anyway, she lifts her shirt and rubs her belly when we say "baby kick". When we say "feel baby kick" she lifts my shirt and rubs my belly. I loved that, and I loved "shake your tushie".

Tonight we are moving her into her "big girl" room. Wish us luck!

[LaraW]

I can certainly sympathize with all the nap issues. I will say, though, as a mom of a 4yo to try to just keep your routine consistent and see if they will get through the phase. Natalie has finally mostly given up her nap at about age 3 1/2, but will sometimes snooze for 45 min or so during the day (usually at school when friends are napping too). We went through the giving up the nap thing when Colin was first born, and we just contained her to her room during naptime.

Lisa, we have been there too, with playing until late at night. I don't know that I have any suggestions other than to keep doing what you are doing in putting him to bed. You might consider not going in and laying him down - just put him to bed with a couple of books and say good night. Natalie has been a good sleeper for most of her life (except in that newborn phase) and just keeping to a consistent routine I think has been part of that.

[lisas3575]

Thanks for commiserating with me. :p Lara, I totally have gotten in the bad habit of going in, trying to help him get to sleep. Sigh. I don't know why I can't relax when he's still awake in there. I guess I still feel on duty, instead of on call. ;) Does Natalie have quiet time in her room instead of a nap now? And how is it possible that she's FOUR YEARS OLD??

[DanaSD]

We have sleep issues everyone once in awhile. A few weeks ago he was waking around 2 am and up for a hour or 2. We made a few changes which helped - switched back to warmer pjs (it has warmed up here but was still getting cool at night), removed the humidifier (its loud) and moved his bedtime back 1 hour to 7/730. This stopped the nighttime waking and led to a better wake up time (7 am instead of 830 which meant he was late for school). Brendan still sleeps a lot (total hours). At school he isn't the best sleep - often 30 minutes to an hour. Often he needs some time in his crib before falling asleep so at school when he finally falls asleep they wake him up. They do lay with him to help him sleep.

We've also had a series of days where he doesn't nap - I keep him in his crib at least 1 hour and then let him get up (but he is playing and not crying, if he was crying not sure what I would do). But so far he has always gone back to taking naps. If he falls asleep in the car before nap time, even if its just 5 minutes, then there is no nap.

Brendan came down with pneomonia last week - he was so sick but finally yesterday is somewhat back to himself. Finally eating and his energy back. He's still on medicine and breathing treatments and we've pushed back his start of his new school a week. So with him home for 2 weeks I've also had the challenge of keeping the business going (DH was ways on business).

He's having a meltdown about his banana breaking in half and he wants me to fix it - must go...

[LaraW]

Lisa, I know - 4 just seems so....old. Then she will be 5 and then she will go off to school. Yikes. Yes, she has quiet time in her room. I usually get anywhere from 10 minutes to 3 hours, depending on how into whatever she is doing she is. :p

Another idea I just had that worked really well with the nap-resistance is good old-fashioned outside running around time. I remember after Colin was born and we were going through nap he** with Natalie that a friend of mine with a son Natalie's age would get together with us to play. And, we ran her - around the park, up and down the slide, etc. It did work. Usually. We play outside again in the afternoon and I try to have them both run around as much as possible. Its harder on school days, just because we're trying to get dinner ready, etc but now that it is light out a little longer, we can do some of that a little easier.

Lisa, I just remembered this. Natalie was probably a little older than Owen is now, but I had gotten into a similar pattern of going in to lay her down, etc. I put her to bed one night and said "good night, see you in the morning" and she actually said something to the effect that I would be back to put her back to bed. Um, yeah. That was the end of that :o :p

[gertdog]

Lisa, I just remembered this. Natalie was probably a little older than Owen is now, but I had gotten into a similar pattern of going in to lay her down, etc. I put her to bed one night and said "good night, see you in the morning" and she actually said something to the effect that I would be back to put her back to bed. Um, yeah. That was the end of that :o :p

Kids are so perceptive! Last night Ryan told DH, as DH was putting him to bed, "In the morning I will cry." DH asked why he would cry and Ryan said "Because that's how I wake you up to come get me."

Yesterday I took Ryan to see Sesame Street Live! at our local theater. I think he really enjoyed it. I tried hard to prepare him for what it might be like (mostly, that it might be loud and that we couldn't control the volume since he really seems to dislike lots of noise). I was glad that I splurged a little on good seats- close but not too close to the stage, and on the aisle so he could really see what was happening. It was a good show, definitely toddler appropriate- all the familiar Sesame Street characters, a pretty simple story, and good pacing. I was really nervous as I'd never taken him to anything like this before, but he sat enthralled most of the time and then talked about it for the rest of the day.

[Couperine]

Stephanie, I'm glad the show went well! I'd love to take Ethan to a movie or age-appropriate show, but I keep chickening out.

Ethan has mild issues here and there, the biggest being the continual use of "why?" Drives me nuts sometimes, but if that's my biggest stress with him, I'm all good. :)

I have to share a definite boy moment from today - we were sitting at my IL's table eating lunch, and their male chocolate lab, Java, was panting next to the table, hoping for food. Ethan suddenly pipes up, "Java has a penis, and it's getting bigger and bigger - see?!" My MIL and I hear him and turn away from him, trying not to die laughing, and my poor FIL had him repeat it because he couldn't believe he heard him right the first time. Ah boys - my 19 yo stepson turned beet red for 5 minutes and couldn't say a word when Ethan asked him in all seriousness (in front of his roomates, no less) if he had a penis too. I prefer that he call it what it is, but it does lead to some silly moments!

I'm glad that you are getting some positive news, Jen, about your diagnosis - hugs to you and your family!

[lisas3575]

LMAO, Nancy-- Owen likes to point out our dog's junk too. :D

(((((((Dana))))))) sounds like you've had a rough patch lately. Scary to have a serious diagnosis for Brendan! Is he feeling better? How is your business going? I can't wait for the report on the new school. I've got a couple of tours of preschools scheduled next month.

Meredith, are you hanging in there?

Still no progress on the sleeping front. DH is against it, but I'm going to try pushing back the bedtime to 6:30 on Saturday and see what we get. :(

Sorry to dominate the thread this month, but I'd love your thoughts on a new situation. My FIL stayed with Owen on Weds (long story, but he was the only one not sick), which was super nice of him. However, the next day Owen kept saying, "oh my God!"-- something that FIL says often. I brought it up, and asked that he please watch his language around Owen, and he thought I was crazy. He doesn't think "oh my God" is swearing (which I do), ergo there's nothing wrong with it. Whether or not it's swearing is actually beside the point, but for some reason it really bothers me when Owen says it-- it seems vulgar and inappropriate. Does it to you? Am I overreacting?

[MinEaston]

Hi everyone! We were away last week and I'm just getting caught up again.

Anna's sleep schedule was totally thrown off last week while we were on vacation. It basically shifted 2 hours - only not that much in the mornings. I'm too embarassed to even post what times she was falling asleep. Hopefully today she didn't get as long or as late a nap at daycare, so I can put her to bed at a decent hour and we can "reset." We'll see!

Dana, so sorry about Brendan but I'm glad he's doing better now.

Nancy, I'm totally laughing about Ethan's comments. Did he also ask you WHY it was getting bigger? That would have been Anna's next statement. Everything is WHY. I give her as much explanation as possible, then I try to stop the questioning with "because that's just the way it is." Which usually prompts an "I don't THINK so, Mama" in return.:rolleyes:

Lisa, given that you don't like the expression "Oh my God," I don't think you are overreacting. I'd just leave it be with your FIL, ignore Owen when he says it, and maybe the problem will go away - at least for now.

I had to share a picture from last week - which is now my laptop background. I took it from the other side of the pool (Anna was in there with DH) with my zoom lens. She's no longer a baby, for sure!
http://i243.photobucket.com/albums/ff86/sailinggal71/PICT0067.jpg

[LaraW]

I have a question for the moms here - has anyone had any experience with stopping their child from biting? There has been a rash of biting in Colin's daycare room recently and unfortunately he is one of the perpetrators. I'm not sure what to do about it - he bit Natalie on Wednesday and got a timeout for it, had to apologize for it but beyond that I'm not sure what to do, especially since it is going on at school. He has bit 3x at school this week, plus biting Natalie.

Any thoughts???

[lisas3575]

Ugh, Lara. I wish I had some tips for you. Biting is the worst. :( I vaguely remember it being discussed several months ago, hopefully someone will pop in with suggestions, or you might try to search.

MinEaston-- Anna is so big! :) What a cutie.

Dana-- how is it going???

[DanaSD]

I'm here, mostly lurking on the boards as I try to catch up with my life. :)

Things are slowly returning to normal. Brendan is fully recovered from his pneumonia - he got through the high fever, breathing issues, laying around stage pretty quickly but was still really tired and had a cough for awhile. He started his new school this week so I have time to focus on my business. He is crying at drop off but does fine as soon as I leave. His teachers say he is doing really well and say he's very easy, polite and sweet - he saves his toddlers antics for when we get home. I'm very happy with the school so far and really love his teachers. The training pants things is going ok - hasn't upset him and he just goes through a change of clothes. They have started putting a diaper on him during his nap. He still doesn't want to use the potty but they said he has used it when they put him on it.

Now if the AZ allergy season would just pass, things would be great.

No biting here, but Brendan has started kicking. He kicks me, DH, and his friend next door. Haven't heard any reports from school yet. We're doing timeouts but it isn't helping.

Also, he's been waking around 10 pm and we've been spending some time trying to get him to go back to sleep. Last night I layed on the floor and had only planned on staying a few minutes - I fell asleep and my husband woke me a few hours later to come to bed. It his first week of a new school so I'm not going to push it now (letting him cry) but we'll see if this continues in the next few weeks. But 10 pm is better than 3 am which is when the waking time was before.

We're starting to think about transitioning to the toddler bed. Also need to break the leaving the door open to his room and sleep sacs. We may try to roll this all in together in a few weeks (waiting until he gets used to his new school).

[mst]

hi- quick post. I will post more later.

What do we want to call our group for next month? Older Toddlers, or should we come up with something more creative?

[gertdog]

hi- quick post. I will post more later.

What do we want to call our group for next month? Older Toddlers, or should we come up with something more creative?

What, you have a problem with "Old Toddler Moms"? :p I like Older Toddlers fine- let's go with that.

Dana, I'm so glad to hear Brendan is feeling better and that you're happy with the new school.

Mariana, love the pic of Anna- she looks a lot like you in that shot.

No biting here, but we're going through a really awful throwing and kicking phase. The worst part of the current situation is that when he gets really mad at me, he hits or kicks or throws something at the dog because he knows it will get the biggest rise out of me. And he's right- poor Gertie has been nothing but tolerant since Ryan came along, and here's my sweet blind elderly sleeping dog getting kicked hard this morning because Ryan was mad that I wouldn't let him go outside right that minute (in his pajamas, in the rain). I was so upset this morning I was literally shaking. I know I need to change my reaction when he does something to Gertie, since it's the reaction he's going for, but I also need to make it absolutely clear that hurting Gertie or other people is unacceptable. Ugh.

[mst]

Lisa- I have no advice on dealing with in-laws!;) If I figure out how to deal with mine, I will be the IL guru! I have been on bedrest for seven weeks, and they live an hour a way. They have yet to bring over food, come over, babysit, etc- have not done a single thing. DH's sisters have figured it out- they keep inviting us all out, and act *very* disappointed that I can't come.:rolleyes: At least they are making plans with DH and DD and keeping them busy.

Mineaston- Anna is so big. Why do these kids keep growing so fast? Are you raising Anna to be bilingual?

Lara- No advice on the biting. Just keep doing what you are doing.

Dana- Sorry to hear that Brendan was so sick. Glad that the new daycare is working out better.

Steph- Poor Gertie. It must be so hard because she does not understand what Ryan is doing. Tough situation- you don't want to give too much attention to bad behavior, but don't want Gertie to get hurt either.

As for me, I have been freaking out about how far along I am in pregnancy. I am not ready! Being on bedrest has seriously slowed down our productivity. But, the past few days have been miserable, so I think it is nature's way of getting me ready to get this baby out!

Ilyssa is having trouble with the transition from daycare to home. She is thrilled when DH picks her up, and thrilled to come home and tell me about her day. Then, we generally have a really tough hour with her. Packed full of tantrums and misbehaving. DH is convinced that she is hungry, so we have been feeding her a snack as soon as she comes home. When the weather is decent, he has also been taking her outside to play on the swingset. Any advice? Anyone else experience this?

[LaraW]

Thanks the thoughts on the biting - its horrible - I feel horrible! This AM he bit Natalie again, and before I could intervene, she bit him back :rolleyes: Not that it makes it right, but I don't blame her. Colin was pretty shocked, and I said "see, it hurts, doesn't it?"

I had a long conversation about the biting with one of the owners at daycare and he assured me that while it is serious, and it needs to stop, it is also fairly normal and is more common in boys than girls. He seemed to think that we were doing the right things and we'd just keep working on it, and that most kids go through a phase and get through it and just go on.

Meredith, I don't know why these kids grow so fast. I tease Natalie that she needs to stop growing so she will stay my little girl. When I start to tease her about it, she says "it's OK mom - I will still be your Natalie girl when I grow up" :D

My IL's are coming to visit this weekend. They will be here for dinner and then tomorrow and Sunday. They stay in a hotel so we have some down-time in the evenings.

Need to run, will check in later.

[lisas3575]

Lara, I had a thought-- does Colin have a favorite toy or something that could go in time out when he bites? Not sure if some kind of alternative consequence would get through to him. That's kind of funny about Natalie biting back :o, I've heard of that aversion therapy approach and it's worked.

Add me to the people who's baby was stolen and replaced with a big kid. ;) DH took this on Easter-- Owen is such a ham and wanted him to take a bunch of pictures of him. I gasped when I saw them, he looks so much like a kid!

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2390/2368837365_e5380a735d.jpg

[aggie94]

pardon the interruption......

Wow, Lisa, he's grown even since I was there two weeks ago!! :eek:

http://echerrera.smugmug.com/photos/266261810_bNgSB-M.jpg

[MinEaston]

Wow, Lisa, Owen is growing up fast. And aggie's picture confirms that!

I wish I had some advice on the biting issue...

Meredith, we went through a period where Anna would act out like Ilyssa when we got home from daycare. Giving Ilyssa a snack is a good idea, and don't forget that when kids are with their mommy/daddy/guardians, that is, the people they love & trust the most, they tend to act the worst. We just went through a similar phase that lasted about 2 weeks, when Anna went up to the preschool room in daycare. She wants to be a big kid, but it's hard sometimes and she comes home and acts like a baby.

Steph, have things gotten any better with Ryan/Gertie? And thanks for saying Anna looks like me - most people can't get past the blue eyes and light hair, and say she looks like DH. Here's a pic of both of us from the same vacation, for everyone else to decide :rolleyes:
http://i243.photobucket.com/albums/ff86/sailinggal71/avl_mal_pool.jpg

Anna is learning Spanish and while she doesn't speak in Spanish, she understands it and has a few words she only knows in Spanish. We are very fond of Dora over here, and since my aunt lives in Miami she's able to send us the books in Spanish, too. Plus my mother bought a bunch when she was in Argentina in the fall. My brother & his wife are going next week so I'll put an order in with them, too.

I'm good with "Older Toddlers" (keep "moms" out of it - ha ha)...

I need to stop procrastinating and work on a newsletter while Anna's napping - so I'll stop rambling on an on for now.

[lisas3575]

Mariana, I see the resemblance immediately! And, man, I wish I was somewhere warm enough to be swimming. :rolleyes:

[MinEaston]

And, man, I wish I was somewhere warm enough to be swimming. :rolleyes:

disclaimer: the air temp was in the 60s, this happened to be a heated outdoor pool!