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buffygirl
04-01-2008, 12:13 PM
I'll start us this month...

It is hard to believe that Rex is well on his way to 3! It is so true that the time just flies. I'm sure he will be all grown up before we know it.

He is doing well for the most part. I think with verbal skills he is probably ahead of the curve. It amazes us what he picks up and understands and later uses against us (haha) when we think he isn't even paying attention. Physically we think he is a bit behind the curve. He just does not do the things other kids his age are doing. He just now at 2 1/2 plus has started trying to climb out of his crib, he hasn't made it out yet.:) I am thinking about talking to our pediatrician at his 3yo appt in August. DH has a genetic nerve disorder which Rex has a 50% chance of inheriting. We are thinking that he has it which would explain why he is physically not as coordinated. Also he falls alot (IMO), do any of your little ones still fall down alot?

Tantrums are a major concern right now. From about 6-7 in the evening is just terrible. We really don't know where to go from here. My neighbor is loaning me a book (something like Turning the Terrible Twos into Terrific I think). Maybe I will gleen something from that. Both DH and I are at the end of our ropes. THe only thing I haven't tried is moving his bed time earlier. He is currently going to bed at 8 or 8:30 and takes a 1-2 hour nap at school. He's pretty much dropped his weekend nap. Sigh.

We took him to his first baseball game over the weekend. He had a great time. At first he was scared because it was rather loud. But by the 3rd inning he was loving it. He had fun acting it out the rest of the weekend.:)

How is everyone else doing?

Kim

gertdog
04-01-2008, 12:26 PM
Kim, Ryan still falls a lot too. He has a habit of not looking where he's going which contributes significantly, but he also just randomly tumbles sometimes. Seems like once a week we have to sign an accident report from daycare because he fell and got a bump or scratch (never anything serious, though). He'll be 2 1/2 this month and does not try to climb out of his crib, though he does lots of climbing elsewhere.

We are still avoiding PT here- we have two trips coming up and I'm thinking we might make a concerted effort at the beginning of May, after we're done with the travel.

Related to the travel- Ryan is over the weight limit for his Pack-n-Play and most portable cribs, so we aren't sure what to expect when we travel with him given that he still sleeps in his crib at home. We reserved hotel rooms with double beds so we could put him to sleep in a regular bed; I've also considered buying a kids' Aerobed which has bumpers all around. Anyone have thoughts or recommendations? I guess we need to get cracking on moving him to a big boy bed.

Ryan's teacher has been having them "stretch" in the afternoons as a way to calm down before naptime- the stretches are yoga poses and he has been showing us at home- totally cracks me up because he emulates them really well.

DanaSD
04-01-2008, 12:32 PM
Kim, thanks for starting the thread. And how did it get to be April?

Things are going pretty well here. We were all finally healthy but today Brendan is getting a cold - hopefully no secondary infections this time. We've moved bedtime back to 7/730 and its been a great help. It nice to spend more time with him in the evenings. School is going well and dropoff gets better everyday.

Brendan falls a lot - mostly because he's not paying attention (looking the opposite way) and he's always on the go. Because we're now in short weather here, his legs are covered in bruises and scraps.

He's picking up a lot more words and putting them together. He's very into defining who something belongs to - Daddy's car, Mommy's pan, etc He has a few expressions that are reversed such as "help you" and "show me" - I think it comes from us asking "do you need me to help you" so he now says "help you" when he needs help. Anyone else's LO do this?

Also, how do you get poop out of underware? I threw the pair out this week, but I know I can't keep doing that because there will be many more of these. He is starting to become more aware of when he goes which is why his school puts him in the training pants. And if anyone wants to find training pants (more padding than underware, helps to contain small piddles), they're in the infant section with onsies. It took me a long time to find them since everything else in that isle is for infants. Gerber brand.

Our best solution for evening issues is to spend the time outside. He rarely has tantrums when he's outside.

DanaSD
04-01-2008, 12:35 PM
Stephanie, I've just put a pillow on either side of Brendan when he has slept in a bed. Its been fine. And as long as its carpeted the fall isn't too bad (nothing more than his day to day falls). I think thats what we'll do when we travel this summer. Brendan has always hated portable cribs anyway - they are noisy when he rolls around.

food girl
04-01-2008, 01:58 PM
Kim, Anna sounds alot like Rex. I didn't really notice until we rented a beach house with stairs that she is really sloooow going up and down steps. She doesn't like anything where she feels her center of gravity is shifting ie climbing, walking on low walls and swinging bridges on playgrounds. Once she gets used to a particular ladder or wall she's ok but she always wants to hold on to me. She's in a big girl bed but she does try to climb intothe crib with Lucy. :rolleyes:

I'm a little embarrased to say that we finally (a few weeks before her 3rd birthday) gave up the paci at nap and bedtime. It has gone amazingly well. Her wake up time is now about 30 minutes earlier and naptime is a little shorter but there has been no crying or fit-throwing. She decided to give them to the baby down the street. I kept telling her that there would be no more and she seemed o.k. with that. DH and I purposefully aren't mentioning the word "paci" or talking about the episode in front of her. We are hoping that she will forget sooner if we just don't mention it. Whew. That was my last big hurdle of toddlerhood. 00000000000000000000000000000000

ty.p00000009ing h
elp courtesy of lucy0..........


gotta go
Lisa

lisas3575
04-01-2008, 04:39 PM
He has a few expressions that are reversed such as "help you" and "show me" - I think it comes from us asking "do you need me to help you" so he now says "help you" when he needs help. Anyone else's LO do this?

Yup-- Owen says "doggies out" when he wants them let inside, and "sit next to me" instead of next to you. He gets me and you confused most often. It's pretty cute, and I'll be sad to see it go. :)

Stephanie, it hadn't occurred to me to check the weight limit on the P&P. Do you remember what it is? I was still planning on using ours for overnights away from home. I'm still terrified about getting Owen to stay in a regular bed-- My own hang up, to be sure. He might stay in one just fine! I hate to chance it when we're staying with friends, though.

MinEaston
04-01-2008, 04:59 PM
About sleeping in "regular" beds - when we went to visit my SIL in October, she had a queen-size aerobed for Anna (2.5 at the time). We just didn't inflate it as much as we would for us, and that extra cushiness kept her in it better. Plus she didn't have far to roll off. We just did the same thing when we went to SC for a week - I bought a $16 inflatable mattress at Target and we didn't inflate it all the way. The night we stayed in a hotel I put her in the other bed, and since we were traveling I had to lie down with her for a while, so once she was really asleep I just put extra pillows around her.

At one point I recommended the toddler inflatable bed from One Step Ahead to Bawstinn, and I know she gave it rave reviews because she had Madeline sleeping in it for many weeks when they went back to CO for her DH's continued rehab. I just couldn't quite bring myself to spend the $$$ when Anna seemed to be doing pretty well in a regular bed.

We're doing fairly well over here, just waiting for the weather to get warmer for good. It's beautiful today so I sent Anna and DH to the park to play - over an hour ago. She should be good and hungry when she gets back.

Anna's still physically a peanut, but boy or boy, on her language ability I'm amazed every day. Strangers can actually understand her! We have our share of tantrums and I continue to struggle with my own feelings about how poorly I've done with broadening her food horizons... but I'm really trying to relax about that, knowing she doesn't eat what we CLBB foodies would call junk!

I just spotted a little girl on a trike so I'd better go!

Megan James
04-01-2008, 06:33 PM
Rebecca is 29 months now, hard to believe. We are not yet potty training though I am SO ready. We tried talking about it a bit but she isn't into it and is pushing back especially with poop by telling us her diaper isn't poopy when it is. For a while she would come get us when she pooped but now she won't. Part of the reason is that about 10 days ago we went to a water park and she got an abrasion sore on her bottom. Right where the elastic of the diaper and suit cut. I can not get this sore to heal! All the diapers I have both cloth and disposable either hit right on it or pretty close. I've tried putting a band aid on it and having been using lots of ointment but it's not getting much better.

I'd like to get it to air out for a few hours but I don't know how to do that since I know we'd end up with poop and pee on the carpets, any ideas?

buffygirl
04-01-2008, 07:25 PM
OK, I guess maybe his falling is in the realm of normal. Lisa, maybe he's just more cautious like Anna.

Dana, I'm so glad Brendan is better! I throw the poop underwear out, it makes me gag.:o Fortunately we've only had 3 so far.

Stephanie, we are at that same stage with the big boy bed. I just can't bear thinking about him wandering the house at night.

On the tantrums, our normal routine includes 1 -2 hours of outdoor play in the evenings. Tonight we were tantrum free until it was time to come inside at which time he majorly melted down. He continued NON STOP through his bath. We took away his pre-bed reading time because he literally would not stop screaming and crying. It took both of us about 5 minutes just to dry him off and put on PJ's. We then took him straight to bed where he is still screaming almost 15 minutes later.:eek: When does this type of behavior fall out of the normal range??? We must be pushing it!

ggs830
04-02-2008, 06:31 AM
Hi all. Hard to believe it's already April!

Shaelyn is 27 months now, and, for the most part, she's such fun. She speaks in sentences now, and is pretty good at making herself understood to new people who previously couldn't decipher her toddler-speak. Like others, she gets words confused at times-- saying "my" instead of "I" for example-- but overall I'm amazed at her progress in just the last month, and how quickly she absorbs new words. She's used words like "absolutely", "no problem" and, my personal favorite "crap" (picked up from DH, no doubt :rolleyes:) in the right context.

However, she definitely does have her moments. Our biggest problem has to do with how she interacts with DS, particularly when one or both of them is tired. She hits him or screams in his face, invariably causing him to cry. Nothing has worked to quell this behavior, and I usually just end up on guard duty, protecting DS from Shaelyn. I've tried everything to get her to stop, and nothing has worked so far. It's just very frustrating, and I feel so bad for DS. :(

Shaelyn's been hit or miss on her nap-- she goes from no nap to 1 hour, depending on her mood, I guess. Makes for a very long day, but on the flip side, she's sleeping great at night-- going down between 7 and 7:30 and usually sleeping 12 hours straight through. Sometimes she wakes up around 4ish and comes in our bed, but then goes straight back to sleep. So, this is a nice change from a few months ago.

Megan, ouch about Rebecca's sore bum. Would she sit still for a DVD? Shaelyn will usually sit still for the length of Signing Time DVD, especially if I sit with her.

Lisa, don't feel bad about the paci. Shaelyn still sucks her thumb when she's sleeping, and I have no idea when or how to break that habit. My sister sucked her thumb until she was about 7, despite my parents best efforts, so I'm afraid we might end up in the same boat.:o

Stephanie, we also just put pillows around Shaelyn when she sleeps in a regular size bed. She spends one day a week at my parents, and she's been sleeping in a full size bed there for a couple of months now, with no problems. She's a pretty active sleeper (she'll often end up sideways), but we haven't had any tumbles.

mst
04-02-2008, 07:38 AM
I will post a real post later, but I wanted some quick advice.

Ilyssa is in an at-home daycare with ten kids a day (the kids do rotate a little, as most of the kids in the "preschool" (aka mornings only), do a few days a week- not the whole week. Anyway, she is the youngest in the program by nine months. Someone left us rainboots for Ilyssa at school today. This is one of the girls who does five days a week. Anyway, Ilyssa has the smallest feet ever- she still fits into her size four shoes. The girl left her size seven rainboots. DH turned them down. I appreciate the hand-me-downs, and want people to know that we appreciate it, and are not offended by it. But, I feel badly taking the shoes since I know we won't fit into them this season (and the mom would notice if Ilyssa is wearing other rainboots since they are among the last to be picked up.)

Since I am on mostly bedrest, I rarely pick up Ilyssa, so I can't thank her in person. DH is not a mushy guy, so I would not trust that I could have him thank her in the way that I would (plus, who knows when we will see her next.)

Should we take the boots? Write a thank you? Send in bubbles? Have the daycare explain that we appreciate it, but she is too small this year? I know this seems like a long post for something so mundane, but I am on bedrest- lots of time to think!:p

mst
04-02-2008, 08:05 AM
And, since I am already asking one crazy question, I thought I would add another.

We are trying to think of names for baby #2, and we are limited to certain letters (which is why Ilyssa's name is spelled with an "I"). Anyway, I *love* the name Aiden/Aidan, but am worried it is too popular. According to the social security website, the names are listed in the 30's and 40's. But, if you combine the two spellings, it makes it much more popular. So, how many Aidan/Aiden's do you guys know? If you are in a big daycare, are ther kids in other classes? If our child will always be "Aidan T.", than I would rather choose another name.

Thanks for indulging me!

ggs830
04-02-2008, 09:26 AM
Meredith, we were also considering the name Aiden when I was pregnant for DS, but decided it was too common. We know a couple of Aidens in our extended family, and one friend who's daughter was in daycare said that there were 3 Aidens in the class. I still like the name, though, and would think about naming another child (if we have one!) Aiden.

gertdog
04-02-2008, 10:52 AM
Meredith, I played around on the Baby NameVoyager and it looks like in 2006, there were ~2500 "Aidans" and also ~2500 "Aidens" per million. So about 5000 total for both spellings, which works about to about 1 baby out of every 200 being named "Aidan" or "Aiden." That would put it above "Ryan" on the popularity list- and Ryan was #14 in 2006. I love the NameVoyager. :)

http://www.babynamewizard.com/namevoyager/lnv0105.html

We have yet to meet another Ryan that I can remember and I've not met an Aiden/Aidan yet in DS's daycare or various classes (Gymboree, Music Together). I like the name a lot!

Re: the boots- I'd probably write a nice note saying thank you so much, so thoughtful of you, etc. but Ilyssa won't be able to wear them this year and you didn't want to take them if there might be someone else who could get use out of them now...

Thanks for all of the comments on having the kids sleep in regular beds- not sure why I'm so worried about it!

Megan, I hope poor Rebecca's abrasion heals soon.

Lisanumbers, the weight limit on the pack-and-plays is 30 lbs (which means we actually used it beyond the limit for a while as it didn't even occur to me to check).

Lisa (foodgirl), Ryan hasn't given up his paci yet- I am too chicken to try. I think I'd better get on the ball though- between potty training, big boy beds and pacifiers I think I need to get over some of my worries that these will all be totally stressful events and just do it!

lisas3575
04-02-2008, 11:48 AM
Crap, Stephanie! Owen is right at 30 lbs.

Happy birthday, Dana! :) Hope you have a great birthday.

gertdog
04-02-2008, 11:59 AM
Crap, Stephanie! Owen is right at 30 lbs.

Happy birthday, Dana! :) Hope you have a great birthday.

Well, we used it when Ryan was around 32-33 lbs. with no problems- but he literally only slept in it- no standing or jumping or climbing around

And ditto on the happy birthday to Dana! :)

food girl
04-02-2008, 12:16 PM
Stephanie, the name voyager thing is so very cool. Both of my girl names peaked in 188o.
I found that all of the toddler transitions, for us, were far, far easier than we imagined. When it came down to giving up the paci I realized that I had some issues... I wanted her to do it on the weekend so DH could help with the aftermath, I wanted to send Lucy to my parent's house in case there was lots of crying, um, the list goes on. It's alot like having kids in the first place, if you wait til the time is right you will never do it. Actually moving her to the big girl bed helped her to sleep better - so get to it girl!!

Megan, I swear by nexcare bandages. I think cooks illustrated did a comparison of band-aid type things and it won out for staying on and not getting soggy and gross and they stick like crazy but they come off with out the ouch factor. They also come with princessess or nemo on them! My MD says that cuts heal best when they are moist and protected. I might even take her to the ped to make sure that it doesn't have an infection. Water park germs + diaper area germs sounds like a bad combo to me.

Ok I just turned 40 and here I am barking out advice like an old hag. :o

mst
04-02-2008, 02:01 PM
Ok- time for a better post.

Ilyssa also seems to be behind physically. Not a big surprise to us because we are not very good at physical stuff either. Plus, being 19 months before walking kind of set a slower pace for her physical accomplishments.

PT- I am glad to hear that some of you are still in diapers with us! Ilyssa was very interested in daycare for a while, but she has dropped that interest. And, there is only one other kid in daycare with diapers, so the peer pressure is there. Daycare told us that she is thrilled when she needs her diaper changed because she then gets one-on-one time with the teacher. I think we have while to go. Also, at home, she is sooo difficult with diaper changes for DH. She throws such a fit.

Thanks for the thoughts on Aidan and the rainboots. I think I will call over to daycare later, and say what Steph suggested.

I just ordered Ilyssa's big girl bed to be delivered on Friday. I am not ready to put her in it, but we have no where to sit in her room. So, I figure we will use it as a couch until we decide to put her in it. She does not normally try to get out of the crib, but she does when she is mad. I would rather not make major changes before the baby is born.

Megan- so sorry to hear about Rebecca's sore. But, I am so jealous about the water park. I love water parks. My whole family was going to go to an indoor one for the weekend, but decided not to because of my bedrest. I am so sad. But, I would have been one jealous girl! My DH says that it is easy to see what I must have been like as a child at Disney/waterparks. I make him run between rides, and even if the park is about to close, I get our hands stamped "just in case".

One thing I love about this thread is how honest everyone is. It really helps me out when someone does talk about their kid's tantrums, because I feel less alone when it happens to us. I think IRL, sometimes people are too competitive with their children to put out when they are having trouble. So, thanks everyone for your honesty.

We are also trying to expand Ilyssa's food choices, and I feel so much better knowing that people here are having the same issues. Obviously, we all found this board because we enjoy cooking, and it is good to know that other people who value a varied diet are having trouble passing that on to their children. Yesterday, DH went out and got us fried scallops and cheese fries (I am pregnant...:o) Anyway, we gave her a scallop- expecting a complete rejection. After she ate it, we let her take some cheese fries. Anyway, she finished all of that, and started crying for more food. I started to give her more cheese fries, and she started getting upset, and made it clear that she wanted the scallops!:eek:We were so shocked. She ended up eating about six good sized scallops. DH is teasing me now that I am going to have to share my fried seafood this summer, and I won't like that! I am still so surprised.

Kim- we are also having nightly tantrums. I think she is having trouble transitioning from daycare to home. We try to feed her a snack, and then play outside if the weather is warm enough. Sometimes it burns off some of her energy, but we certainly have had days where it backfires on us too.

Couperine
04-02-2008, 02:42 PM
Hi all! Fast start this month it seems.

Ethan will be three on the 24th - my baby just isn't a baby anymore. We were going through photos on the computer, and he identified all the baby pictures as his soon-to-be-born brother.

I was placed on bedrest last Tuesday through the rest of my pregnancy, and it's causing some stress for us all. Ethan has been irritable, and he just doesn't understand why I stay in the same places all the time. His potty training has been amazing for the last couple of months - he's been fully independent day and night for over a month, but the last few nights, he's woken up, gotten out of bed, then had his accident so he can get me to go upstairs and change him and his sheets and put him back to bed. It's frustrating. I'm glad that this is all the regressing he's doing.

Ethan was exploring some no and refusal behaviors, but the dynamic changed with bedrest, so it's hard to say what will stick. I do know he misses doing all his usual things with his friends, but he won't remember any of this later in life.

I'll probably be induced in another 2 weeks or so - I was really hoping for more space between Ethan's birthday and David's, but we have to go with the flow. I'd love to be able to celebrate Ethan's birthday by doing things rather than observing, but we'll see how things work out. Nobody is ever thrilled by bedrest, but I really wanted to do more personal attention for Ethan to transition him to his new baby brother.

Hope everyone is well!

Megan James
04-02-2008, 05:23 PM
MST We are still definitely in diapers at almost 30 months. I think Ilyssa is close in age.

Thanks for the advice on Rebecca's sore butt. I think we'll try a DVD for air time, we rarely let her watch TV so that should be a good treat. And I'm heading out for Nexcare bandages tonight! I gave myself a deadline that if it doesn't start healing by Friday we are heading to the doctor.

Re: Expanding food horizons. Lately I've been so uninterested in cooking (I'm pregnant) that it's hard to worry about getting Rebecca to eat different things. She can be a really good eater and will try lots of things. Other days she is totally picky. I used to cave instantly on the picky days and offer cereal or something else easy but I've decided that unless it's something like Indian food there are usually enough choices at the table that she can eat something I'm offering. She's a big healthy girl so I know she's getting enough nutrition. And from what I hear from daycare she eats great there.

My take is that sometime in this 2-3 timeframe some of the battles are just not worth fighting. The "I want jellybeans for lunch" battle is worth it in my book but the "I'm not eating corn tonight which I usually love" on is not worth it. I'm pretty sure it's more about control than tastes, and man they sure know how to push your buttons!

buffygirl
04-02-2008, 08:20 PM
I wanted to report back and say that I think last night was a break through night. The bed time tantrum lasted for about 35 agonizing minutes. When he finally stopped crying and howling, DH and I went in to tell him good night and he said "Sorry, Mommy." :rolleyes: Melts the heart. He then went right to sleep. Fast forward to tonight. Again we came right in to eat "dinner". I gave him a choice of yogurt or grilled cheese. By default he had yogurt and then some applesauce. We played outside til time for bed, but had explained how long we would stay out, gave him 5 or 10 minute warnings and we just had a wee bit of whining when it was time to come in. One refusal of the pullup, then a re-direction later and we got him to bed for the first time in 2-3 weeks without a tantrum! Yay!!! I think he is the kid that you just have to throw the hammer down with. There is not much middle ground with him. He tests and tests. I think us staying strong last night really helped.

Nancy, I love your term "exploring no and defiant behaviors". You sound so much more zen about motherhood than I am.:p

Kim

Couperine
04-03-2008, 11:52 AM
Nancy, I love your term "exploring no and defiant behaviors". You sound so much more zen about motherhood than I am.:p

Kim

My stepson is almost 20, and I was his mom figure from age 4 onwards as he lived with us instead of his mother. Absolutely nothing Ethan can do at age 2 compares to the things an angry teenager can do. :) I'll catch up more later - I have more company while on bedrest than when I'm my usual SAHM self!

Bawstinn
04-03-2008, 08:26 PM
At one point I recommended the toddler inflatable bed from One Step Ahead to Bawstinn, and I know she gave it rave reviews because she had Madeline sleeping in it for many weeks when they went back to CO for her DH's continued rehab. I just couldn't quite bring myself to spend the $$$ when Anna seemed to be doing pretty well in a regular bed.



We didn't end up going with the inflatable one, we got this one instead (I was imagining the inflatable getting a leak):

http://www.onestepahead.com/catalog/product.jsp?productId=6640&cmSource=Search

She sleeps on a cot at daycare, so it was a relatively easy transition and we did test it out a few times for naps and at night. I've tried her in a regular bed before, but Madeleine hates going under a blanket and sheet for some odd reason, but being lightly covered with a blanket is OK. It folds up to its own bag and all grandparents are out of state so I figure it'll get used. It is good up to 100 lbs and is pretty long.

I had thought about using the pack n play (someone else mentioned it) even though she was over the weight for it but she is also tall for her age and was too long for it. She often sleeps straight, not curled up.

melis_d
04-07-2008, 08:42 AM
Hi, I'm a frequent lurker and only occasional poster on this thread. My DS, Sam, just turned 3. He's definitely "exploring no and defiant behaviors" but is generally a joy. Sam is very verbal -- to the point where when he was having fever dreams while sick this weekend he was talking constantly. Ahh, the nightmares of a three year old. We heard him say (in a crying / whining voice) "Don't throw the donuts away, they're yummy!" Since he only has a donut once every few months, I'm not quite sure where that came from but it was funny.

On the topic of travel beds, DS is very tall (41 inches now) and we had to find a travel solution while moving last summer. We bought the kids aerobed (http://www.amazon.com/Aero-40010-Aerobed-for-Kids/dp/B00006IV33)(and have used it several times since we bought it. It's comfortable, but a little noisy. It's also pretty sturdy, so no worries about punctures, etc.

lisas3575
04-14-2008, 08:38 AM
We're a quiet bunch this month!

Sooo happy to report that we sold our house and bought another one this weekend. :) Now the fun of moving and closing starts. With a toddler. Any tips on making the transition better for Owen?

He started climbing out of his crib again yesterday-- he hadn't tried it since December, so we bought another few months. Looks like we'll be making the move to a big boy bed at the new house. :(

In other big boy news, he wanted to sit on his potty of his own accord yesterday. No action, but it's the first time that he's agreed to sit on it, and it was even his idea. Progress!

mst
04-14-2008, 09:56 AM
Lisa- congrats! Glad that the house selling is worked out. It sounds like that is getting harder and harder. When we moved to this house, we bought a big toy kitchen, and had it waiting in the house for her. She was like, "the old house? What?" It was all about the kitchen! Packing was so, so horrible. Just start early, and take every single person up on their favors to watch Owen.

As for me, Ilyssa totally busted my parents this weekend. It was pretty funny. They watched her, and offered to feed her breakfast. (Ilyssa likes to talk to each spoonful of cereal, so mornings go ssssllllooooowwww around here.) Anyway, when she got home, we asked her what she ate for breakfast. To which she answered, "Ice cream cone with chocolate ice cream and chocolate milk!" Now, she has not had an ice cream cone since last summer, and she has never had chocolate milk. We decided to let it slide because it was nice of them to watch her. But, I ended up in the hospital again yesterday, and they watched her again. My parents reported that she had three dirty diapers. I mentioned that she had a lot of diahrea since yesterday, what did they feed her for breakfast? My dad was like, "uh..., let me get your mom." My mom said, "ummm- I don't remember." When we got to their house, my dad at least laughed and said, "We need to teach her, what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas." Anyone else have these issues with their parents?

Our newest Ilyssa "issue"- she asks "why" to everything. Everything. (As does my DH- I am sorry his mother passed away, and isn't able to see DH having to answer the question a billion times a day!) Anyway, today, she was playing with a ballpoint pen, and asked DH "how does this work?" Are we in for it?:p

MinEaston
04-14-2008, 10:08 AM
Lisa, congratulations! I don't have any words of wisdom about the move, but mst's suggestions and your thought about a brand new bed in the new house would work. We really talked up Anna's new room last year when we moved her into it, and she never noticed!

mst, that's funny about your parents. I remember one evening when I had a meeting and DH took Anna to an exhibit opening or something. They came home and I asked how the evening had gone, and I asked Anna what she'd eaten at the 'party.' She responded "chok'lut cake!" The look on DH's face was priceless. Then she proceeded to tell me "and grapes and tomatoes and cheese." I know that my parents give her stuff that I wouldn't, but I'm just so grateful for the help that I let it slide.

And yes, you are in for it with the "why" question. Apparently daycare must stop the conversation by saying "because that's just the way it is..." because we get that expression A LOT. And, if she's not happy about that response, Anna says "I don't THINK so."

We're having a pretty good spring but our biggest challenges are listening and dawdling. And some defiant behavior. Yesterday she didn't want what I'd set out for her dinner and proceeded to drop it on the floor. That's an IMMEDIATE time-out in our house. Eventually she calmed down and came back and ate it (she hadn't dropped the food itself on the floor - just the bowl with it, lest you think I feed my child off the floor :eek:)

On the plus side she seems to be learning what constitutes immediate time-outs with no warning, though :rolleyes:

lisas3575
04-14-2008, 10:15 AM
((((((((((((Meredith))))))))))))) I am so sorry you were back in the hospital. This PG has been so hard on you. :( How much longer until your due date? Hang in there. I was laughing so hard at your stories about Illysa. :D My mom feeds Owen all kinds of cr@p and it really is a bone of contention with me. I've asked her not to, bought her snacks to feed him at her house, all of it to no avail. :mad: I ended up moving Owen to daycare on Friday's because of it (and other issues like TV watching). I can tolerate it for one day a week though.

Owen doesn't ask why very much-- he has other pet phrases. "What's that noise?" and "Where'd _______ go?" (usually a person, sometimes a thing) we hear about a million times a day. :rolleyes: A friend had success using, "why do you think?" as a response to her toddler-- it confounded him and he'd quit asking. :p

jphilg
04-14-2008, 10:24 AM
Lisa, congratulations! I'm so out of the loop these days; I didn't even know you were considering that. Can we see pics of the new place?

MST, we're right with you on the Grandparent food fest. I really am ok with it when it is a weekend here or there, but, like you, there is a lot of grandparent care going on right now, and I just worry about the vast quantities of goldfish and juiceboxes disappearing. And the Happy Meal toys I've found in the toy bins. Oh well. What can you do? I'm so appreciative of the help.

Everything around here is "why". Its enough to make anyone crazy. I just explain why in really long and complex ways and hope that she'll either forget what she asked or pick up new vocabulary. And after a while, I ignore it, or counter with some total non sequitor.

We've had a tough couple of weeks of tantrums, generally over getting dressed or going to school. Saskia is always fine when I pick her up, so I don't really think that she really doesn't like school, but it is tough. Obviously we've had a lot of stress around here with my illness and all of the extra people that have been around to help. We've also been doing a basement renovation to add a better guestroom. So the house is full of people, dusty, loud, and mommy is tired and sick....I understand her angst. But the tantrums have gotten rough, and we finally end up sending her to her room until she can get it together. Is that okay? I don't know any other techniques.....

Thanks to you all for the kind messages and cards.....we're hanging in there, in no small part thanks to all of your support.

Take care, and talk soon!

lisas3575
04-14-2008, 10:27 AM
Hi Jen!! So nice to see you on here. :) We struggle getting Owen to daycare most every day, too. He's fine once we're in the car, but he really fights getting dressed and out the door. It's tough. I just give him a ton of empathy as I push him along. :p I think it's totally ok to let kids get their sh*t together in their room-- we have to do that with Owen sometimes, too. Heck, I need time alone to get myself together, too. :p

Hang in there!

lisas3575
04-14-2008, 10:44 AM
Here's our new house:

http://www.redata.com/100038/mls/stillscoar/2703303ax.jpg

And the kitchen, since this is a cooking site. ;) :
http://www.redata.com/100038/mls/stillscoar/2703303dx.jpg

DanaSD
04-14-2008, 11:10 AM
wow Lisa - thats an awesome house and kitchen. I love my kitchen but really wish we had a breakfast bar. For Brendan we use the learning tower, but it would be nice to have chairs for adults. We moved when Brendan was 4 months old - it was very hard at that stage but I think its a different type of challenge than with toddlers. I think the most important thing is to keep talking to him about it and get him involved - packing stuff, picking out which toys to keep in a bag for the move, visiting the house, picking out decor.

mst - hang in there!

thanks everyone for the birthday wishes earlier in the month (I haven't posted since then). Definately feeling older. But then sometimes I feel like a fake as a parent - the bus stop is right outside our house and one of the kids wrote their name in the wet cement (we were getting cracks repaired) so I had to go out and question the kids to find out who did it. Sometimes I don't feel like a parent and wonder if they're just laughing at me - anyone else feel like this sometimes?

We decided to make Brendan's crib into a toddler bed this weekend and also take away his sleepers (sleep sacs which are his lovey and he sucks on them). Didn't go so well and the second night I put him in a sleep sac deciding it wasn't that important to have him give them up. He still wasn't comfortable with the toddler bed and we had to spend a lot of time soothing him throughout the night. We've always been strict with a schedule and routine and its made him a great sleeper and generally easy kid but then when you change something its HUGE. We're going to give it a few more nights and if he doesn't like it, change it back. I just felt like it was time since his school is all about independance.

buffygirl
04-14-2008, 12:01 PM
Great to hear everyone's updates.

Defiant behavior is ruling our household right now. DH and I are at wit's end. We put Rex in his room fairly often to let him gather himself. He does not cooperate with time out. Period. I can spend 45 minutes putting him back on the naughty step and he will not stay. I am not loving this stage. One minute he is so sweet and saying "I love you Mommy." And the next minute he has melted into a pool on the floor. He is very head strong.

I am reading a book named something like "Making the Terrible Two's Terrific" and although I'm just a chapter or so in, it confirms that we have done everything so far exactly opposite as we should have done.:o

My DH is ready to start spanking which just kills me. I always thought we would not spank, although I was spanked as a child. Like I said, we are at wit's end.

Kim

LaraW
04-14-2008, 01:03 PM
Hi everyone-

Just wanted to jump in, I don't think I've checked in yet this month. :o

DH and I have started taking a Love and Logic class (more for older DD than for Colin :p ) and they addressed the issue of sending to their room in our first class last week. I tried it and it has been fairly effective with her. She is another very strong-willed child.

Anyhow, the technique that they suggested was to use a kind of sing-songy voice and say "uh-oh, I think you need some room time. So sad. Go have your fit, and come back when you're ready to be nice". Very matter of fact, and they said to use the sing-song voice because it keeps you from getting mad (can't be mad if you're singing a song). Then, when they come out and are done with their fit, they get some "recovery time" - that is the "time out" portion and it goes 2-4 minutes.

Part of it, I think, is just the terms you use: recovery time vs time out. When they come down, give them a hug and kiss, tell you that you love them and go on with life, no re-visiting the whole thing that got them sent to their room in the first place.

The first day we tried it, we had to try about 4 times to get her to do the recovery time, but after that, it was fine. And, I have seen a fairly big decrease in the sass we've been having.

Just something to think about. THere is a book called Parenting with Love and Logic, and if you think it is something you might be interested in, I"d suggest giving it a read. I got a copy at the library.

mst
04-14-2008, 02:50 PM
Min- I like to answer Ilyssa's questions because I think it helps her learn, but I think we can all agree that it can make a person crazy!:p I have a cold, and keep coughing. Everytime I cough, she asks me why I am coughing. So, our new catchphrase is, "because sometimes that happens".

Lisa- when things get too repetitive, we ask Ilyssa questions back. Like, when she complains during Sesame Street that she wants Elmo, I say, "what does Mommy always say?" And, she responds, "I have to wait until Elmo's turn." Done. It usually ends the complaining. I love, love your new house. That kitchen is amazing. You are totally going to enjoy that. When do you move?

Jen- It has been really hard for me to give up control with Ilyssa. Luckily, we had super luck with her daycare, and I have no complaints about them. My problem with my mom is that she equates having fun with eating junk. Ilyssa is a pretty decent eater for a two year old, so I hate to introduce crap when there is no need to. I appreciate that she wants to spoil Ilyssa, but ice cream and chocolate milk for breakfast? Ilyssa has never even had chocolate milk! I love that you give long drawn-out answers to Saskia! Cracks me up. We might have to try that. Problem is, my husband seriously still asks as many questions as a two year old. So, he is thrilled that she has entered this phase! We have a hard time getting out in the morning too. It takes two of us an hour to get her out the door. She wants to "help" with everything. And, she needs to talk to her cereal and sing songs to it. With everything that you are going through, I think you need to do your best, and try to not worry about what you would do differently if you were 100%. Easier said than done. But, I am sure just getting out of bed is tough- no less dealing with two kids. I love the idea of your hairshaving party (on the food board). You are such an inspiration for turning lemons into lemonade.

Dana- any thought to a bit of bribery with the bed? It might be hard to change the bed and the sleep sac at the same time...

Kim- sorry that Rex is giving you such a hard time. I hope it is just a stage, and he outgrows it soon. We all know how frustrating being a parent can be.

Lara- good advice about the recovery. Sometimes Ilyssa gets so out-of-her-head crazy that we have to calm her down before we can do a time out. I hate to coddle her when she is being such a crazy girl- so I will give your method a try. She might still be a bit young for it though.

DanaSD
04-14-2008, 03:25 PM
Since he loves being independant and doing things for himself I thought he would like the toddler bed and thats why we also tied in the sleep sac - big boy bed and no more baby sleepers. We even talked about it every day for a week before the event. I also bought new fire engine pjs which were a hit.

Brendan is a chocolate milk addict - he loves it. Yes, I gave in and he even sometimes has it for breakfast. I drink Carnation Instant Breakfast every morning and have done this almost my entire life - I think it was the only way my parents could get me to drink milk. It was hard to tell Brendan he couldn't have chocolate milk as I sit there drinking it myself. My only hope is that more exposure to different foods and flavors will widden his interest in foods (and hopefully not just towards junk food).

buffygirl
04-14-2008, 07:58 PM
Lara, thanks for sharing that technique and the book. Where do you take your class??? I would love to do that. We are so clueless. We had Rex so late that we don't have much to compare our skills to.

Lisa, love your new house and what an amazing kitchen!!! I agree with what others have said, group several changes with the move...

Jen, great to see you here!

Dana, good luck on the toddler bed. Rex is still in his crib and hasn't really explored getting out. Since he is so "off" right now, I'm gonna leave him in his crib a while longer.

greta
04-15-2008, 07:11 AM
Hi All!

Lisa, I love the house and kitchen. I didn't know you were looking!! How fun. You know, when we moved from Long Island to where we live now, I didn't really prepare the boys too much in advance. I just told them that we were going to our new house. It's amazing how well they adjust. (But, it could be that my kids are used to living the gypsy life) ;)

Jen, it's great to see you here!

Kim, we have sent Saif to his room a few times--it's definitely more effective than time out for us.

It's funny, I sometimes forget where I belong in terms of threads and kids...But I do definitely belong here with Saif. He is now almost exactly 2 1/2 years old.

Saif started climbing out of his crib the week before Sami was born. Great timing! We just put him back in and told him he needed to stay in there. After a few nights of putting him back in, he decided he'd just stay in there. A few weeks later, he started climbing out on some nights and to go to sleep in his closet. Yes, his CLOSET! He would turn on the light, put all of his clothes on the floor (as a mattress), close the door and fall asleep. He's a character! We decided to just open the door and turn off the light when we checked on him before going to bed. He slept like a log. Now, he's just staying in his crib again. I am not going to officially take him out of the crib until I decide it's time for Sami to no longer sleep with me (I'm trying to enjoy every minute of this one--sad to think Sami's our last).

I thought that Saif was giving up naps a couple of weeks ago :eek: but I just kept putting him up in his room even if it was just for quiet time. On the days he wouldn't nap, he'd play up there for over an hour. Fortunately, with more outdoor play in the morning, he is napping again. He's my energizer bunny, and I really need him to have some down time!

Ok, now back to the boys...(I had time to join you all this morning because Saif is on Long Island with my mom and dad for a few days--she's going to take Laith next time). Laith really needed some mommy time--it was evident in his behavior.

Greta

lisas3575
04-15-2008, 09:01 AM
Kim, we took a L&L class last fall too, and have implemented a lot of it (including what Lara is doing with Natalie), so I don't think Rex is too little. Some it is for older kids, though. There is a specific toddler book that I was able to get from my library.

They also have a great website (http://www.loveandlogic.com/) and it looks like they are doing a podcast too. The CDs are fantastic, and a good refresher. Feels almost like moral support. ;)

RebeccaT
04-15-2008, 12:33 PM
Hi all, I know it's the middle of the month, and I'm sorry for not checking in sooner.

It's been an intense month for our family. My mom, as some of you know, was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer about 5 weeks ago. She has had surgery (a procedure called the Whipple that was able to remove her tumor and basically took apart and put back together her entire digestive system), and it was successful though the recovery has been long. Julia keeps asking if the boo-boo's in her Ce-ce's tummy are all better - it's so cute. Mom starts chemo at the end of the month, since by then she'll be fully healed from surgery. I have been traveling back and forth to Alabama, where she lives, and that's been pretty hard on Julia (Ben doesn't seem to care - he's glad to see me when I'm back, but doesn't miss my when I'm gone). My mom's prognosis remains to be seen, but the fact that she could have that surgery was huge and means that she's already in a tiny minority of pancreatic cancer patients, since most have inoperable tumors and very low survival rates.

Last week, we got the horrible, horrible news that the daughter of friends of ours was abducted from her bus stop after school, was sexually assaulted and then, amazingly, was dropped off about 20 miles away. She is alive and safe with her parents, which is the miracle, but the fallout from all of this on her and her family has been huge. She's only 7 years old. They caught the guy (because he's basically a moron and the police were so on the ball, a good combination) and they have a very good case, but the little girl is traumatized, won't talk to the police any more, her younger brother is scared and acting out, and her sweet parents are just trying to hold it together. So, needless to say, it's made any issues I've had with Julia feel so minor... I have just been hugging on her and loving on her and so grateful that our friends' daughter came home so her parents can love on her too.

<whew>

All that said, I can totally relate to the tantrums, dawdling, and general chaos that is living with a 2.5 year old. I've heard it called the first adolescence, and I can believe that - mood swings, defiance, testing boundaries... yep. But it's also so charming... we also get the "whys" all the time, but the way she asks is pretty hilarious. She'll say "what's that about?" She wants to play all the time, which can be taxing when I'm trying to run the house or feed her baby brother or whatever, but it's so sweet when she tilts her head to the side and squeaks, "Want to play with me, Mommy?"

WRT discipline, I need to check out the Love and Logic books. I have heard very good things. I have also had some success with the book 1-2-3 Magic. Basically the premise is that by counting, you are giving warnings to stop whatever behavior, and then when you get to 3 you say "Take 5!" which is time-out. Not a naughty chair or a corner, but just sending the child to their room to remove them from the situation, as others have said. According to the book, we as parents talk WAY too much when disciplining, therefore diluting it and making the discipline less effective. By using this sort-of broken record technique of "That's 1! That's 2! That's 3! Ok, Take 5!" you make it very clear what the offending behavior was, and what the consequences will be. I think it's actually very similar to Love and Logic, jsut with slightly different techniques involved.

Anyway. Sorry for the novel. Hug your kids today, please, and don't let them out of your sight. :(

jphilg
04-15-2008, 12:43 PM
(((Rebecca)))) Thank goodness your mom is doing as well is she is. She has a long road in front of her, still, and you are so wonderful to be there for her. And my prayers are with that little girl and her family. That's every parent's nightmare. You take care of yourself.....what a year.
((()))

buffygirl
04-16-2008, 01:42 PM
Rebecca, I must have missed the news about your mom the first time around. I'm so sorry that your family is facing this. You all will be in my prayers. A situation like some of you are facing certainly puts things into perspective. Thank you for sharing.

food girl
04-21-2008, 07:04 PM
Tomorrow is Anna's 3rd birthday. It is so hard to believe! She's very excited. We aren't having a party, though I just spend $40 at Party City. We are inviting a few of the neighbors & kids over for ice cream and cake on the porch after dinner. I'm getting a nice cake from the neighborhood bakery and we made cupcakes today too. I found Anna with a raw, uncracked egg in her mouth. gag. She'll probably have salmonella tomorrow!

Speaking of bad things in the mouth, I have found Little Lucy with all manner of chokable items in her mouth recently. It is so hard to keep Anna from getting out little things (pennies, marbles, sea shells) and putting them on the floor. In some ways things are much easier, in others I have to be so much more diligent about Lucy than when she was just a little lump.

The other night Anna and I had a very interesting conversation in the shower. I never shower or bathe with her but this night she wanted me to so she had lots of questions about the body parts and wanted to "nurse" I told her there was no more milk, to which she replies, "maybe just a little in the back?" Then I explained that she had teeth now and she might accidentally bite me. Her response? "But Mommy, my teeth aren't very long". Then I tried to divert her to talking about something else and she mumbled something about not remembering nursing and then she looks at me and says, " Oh NO. I have short term memory loss" Of course, this is from Finding Nemo which she's in love with. But it cracked me up. I was laughing so hard she thought I was crying. I was pretty impressed that she used the phrase appropriately.

Rebecca your post really hit home for me. Our next door neighbors occasionally leave thier 4 kids home alone. :mad: There is a little 7 year old girl who we all love but I worry about her! She was over here last night when her Mom and Dad were gone with one of the other kids and I told her that she could come over anytime her Mom and Dad were gone, in fact I wanted her to come over instead of being outside alone or home. I tried to say everything I could without saying "your parents shouldn't leave you home alone with just an 11 year old". :rolleyes:

Lisa

RebeccaT
04-22-2008, 11:58 AM
Lisa, that's hilarious about Anna's commentary and questions in the shower! It always surprises and amazes me, too, when Julia comes out with some comment or question that's so... insightful maybe? Just whenever she says something that's more like a conversation, that really demonstrates how her perception and understanding have advanced. So funny. And that's terrible about your neighbors. I can't imagine thinking that an 11 year old is responsible enough to tend to 3 siblings, and that all four of them are safe. That's just not the world we live in, sadly.

Julia had so many tantrums yesterday, I lost count. They have gotten really defiant, where she's not just crying in frustration (although she does that too), but where she's really P*SSED! We're getting a bit of shoe throwing and that sort of thing now. Poor girl. She's her mother's child. I can't remember the last time I got that angry (either I'm a master at controlling my feelings now, or I am so out of touch with them that I don't even know when I'm mad, I haven't decided yet :p ) but I SO remember being that mad and not knowing how to express it as a child. I had tantrums until I was about 6 or 7. Nice. I have at least 3 more years of this. :eek:

Editing to post the flip side, so that I'm not just complaining about my daughter...
I love that Julia has gotten so affectionate lately. Not just accepting my affection, but she'll pet my hair, or just walk up and hug me, or reach over and hold my hand when I'm sitting with her on the sofa. I love it! :D

mst
04-22-2008, 08:41 PM
((Rebecca and Jen)). I hope you guys are doing well. Sounds like you both have a lot going on.

Last bath, Ilyssa pooped in the tub. She freaked out. So upset. "Take it away!" We talked about all the people who probably pooped in the tub when they were little. We tried to give her a bath today, and she would not have any of it. Poor thing. She was super upset.

Ilyssa also has plenty of tantrums, and plenty of sweet moments. She has been telling everyone that her mommy has a baby. It is very cute. I just hope she does as well when the baby comes. I think she is going to be disappointed because she keeps talking about doing puzzles with the baby.

jphilg
04-25-2008, 11:54 AM
I love spring.....I love grubby toddlers playing in the mud. I love my kids.
http://images.kodakgallery.com/photos4908/6/4/86/95/21/3/321958604605_0_ALB.jpg
Saski helping in the garden


http://images.kodakgallery.com/photos4908/6/4/86/14/54/5/554148604605_0_ALB.jpg
Zach marching proudly

lisas3575
04-29-2008, 09:49 AM
Lovely photos, Jen. :) I can't get over how BIG Saskia is!

Just need to vent a little bit (what else is new, right??). We've been having a rough couple of weeks with Owen. I know the disruption of packing boxes is contributing and we can't keep him in bed at night so he's overtired, and he is pushing pushing pushing testing testing testing every part of his life right now. Which is what he's supposed to be doing. But seriously, it's turning into this huge battle of wills to get dressed in the morning, pajamas on at night, teeth brushed, off to daycare, diaper changes, eating dinner-- everything. Here's a fun example off the top of my head, which happens every time we put on his socks:

Do you want red socks or blue socks?
I want red socks. NOOOOOO RED SOCKS!!! I want blue socks.
NOOOOOOO BLUE SOCKS!!! I WANT RED SOCKS!! RED SOCKS!! NOOOO RED SOCKS!!! WAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! BLUE SOCKS!

Sigh. :(

MinEaston
04-29-2008, 10:33 AM
How did I miss Jen's photos over the weekend? They are so cute!

Lisa, we're right there with you. I can empathize. It's getting better with Anna but this morning we had a battle over what we were going to wear and it took me 20 minutes to do the preschool drop-off. It may not help that I'm going away for a couple of days, even though she's looking forward to Anna-Papa nights!

Here's Anna at the local volunteer fire dept's 200th anniversary parade last week. She was fascinated for 1.5 hours. The only part she didn't like was the "noisy motorcycles."
http://i243.photobucket.com/albums/ff86/sailinggal71/PICT0041.jpg

mst
04-29-2008, 01:00 PM
Jen- Saskia looks so big! Zach is a cutie too!

Lisa- Maybe Owen was confused...he was probably rooting for the Red Sox!:p
I have been feeling so guilty about not being able to do as much for Ilyssa, and that I am having a new baby. We have definitely seen some acting up, and a lot of "no, mommy do this!" behavior. My poor husband was so excited about his birthday because he thought Ilyssa would be super excited about it. She was such a bear to him all day.

Mariana- Anna looks adorable.

Ok- here's our issue. It takes us about an hour to get Ilyssa to eat breakfast. She talks to her food, sings to it, has a running commentary. Asks us about the status of our breakfast, etc. How do you get your kids to eat a little faster? I know that daycare has trouble with her talking through lunch. Dinner is not as big of a deal- we have more time. Any thoughts? I hate to take away her food when I know that she wants/needs it.

RebeccaT
04-29-2008, 01:03 PM
Precious, precious photos of precious, precious kids. I almost typed 'babies,' but they aren't anymore, are they? <sigh>

Lisa, I am so there. Julia is definitely testing, although hers tends to be less tantrum and more "let's see what I can get away with." As in, I tell her "Don't finger-paint with your yogurt on the table, Julia." Then she looks at me while dipping her finger in the yogurt and proceeds to finger-paint on the placemat, because after all I didn't mention anything about not finger-painting on that, now did I??? Argh.

As far as getting dressed is concerned, here's what we're trying this week. So far it's working pretty well - an idea I got from 1-2-3 Magic... I bought an egg-timer, you know, the kind that goes tick-tick-tick (we only had digital timers in my house somehow) and I bring it into her room, and I set it for 10 minutes. If she is completely dressed (with my help of course) and hair brushed and shoes on before the buzzer goes off, she gets a sticker on her sticker chart. The idea is that then it's the tick-tick that's nagging her, not me. We're two days in, and so far she's responding well. I wouldn't call it racing around, but we're getting a little less dawdling than we have been. We'll see if it still works once the novelty wears off; I'll keep you posted.

eta: Meredith, the timer might work for breakfast. Not that you want to encourage scarfing your food down, but if there's a reward for finishing before the buzzer, or if the food goes away when the buzzer goes off, that could help. It would only take a few times for her to get the message - she won't waste away from missing part of a breakfast or two. I've had to take that tactic with Julia, even though it kills me to send her to school when I'm sure she hasn't eaten enough.

jphilg
04-29-2008, 01:42 PM
Girls, I am so with you, on every front. The testing (socks, tooth brushing, ...she got up at 2 am last night to complain about her pajama selection), the dawdling over breakfast, and the lastest: no nap for almost 10 days.

We're getting through it, though, and I think it is because we are really consistent about time-outs, natural consequences, and choosing fights. So Saski sometimes spends half the morning in time-out, for hitting or talking back, but she also can wear a party dress to school any day she wants because I just can't have that fight every day. We use 1-2-3 Magic, too, and while it has taken about 6 months of use to really be effective (maybe we started too early? Right at 2 years?), she's really responsive now, to the point where she'll come back when she hears us counting, even if she's bolting. Because she's a bolter.

We also have instituted natural consequences, in addition to time outs. If she doesn't brush her teeth, no bedtime stories. Sometimes it takes 20 minutes, but she's really not willing to give up stories, so the teeth get brushed.

Having an almost-3 is an exercise in patience. I just have to have faith that at some point, we'll be in a nicer phase. It has been about phases since day one, so I know there has to be something good in the pipeline.

Napping is a different issue. Saski has always slept a lot, so I thought she'd continue to nap longer than average. But she makes such a fuss about napping these days that she wakes Zach, and I'm not willing to force that issue because I need Zach to nap. So Saski gets 60-90 minutes of TV, with her frog and blankie, and that just has to be good enough for now. I've tried lying down with her, "treat naps" in Mommy and Daddy's bed, "quiet time" in her room. Not a go. So, I'm sort of saying uncle. She's getting 12 hours at night, maybe even 13, and she doesn't seem overtired at bedtime. I don't know. What do you guys think?

Also, we just hired a nanny to help out while I go through treatments. Having a different relative/church friend/neighbor help out every day has been really stressful for the kids, and I spend a lot of time managing the helpers. We had some trouble 2 weeks ago when both Peter and Zach were sick; I couldn't quite keep it together. We decided that even though a nanny is not in the budget, we can find the money if we think of it as a medical expense, just for the summer. And a wonderful woman who used to care for a friend's kids is available, just for the summer. So it is a win-win situation on paper. She starts Thursday, so we'll see how it goes.

Hang in there, girls....I know it will improve!

lbd
05-03-2008, 04:00 PM
I know I just should start a May thread but for the life of me I can't find the button to do that right now. ???

The new house and kitchen are gorgeous!! We are still househunting, learning way more than I ever wanted to know about septic systems, and having ups and downs. Ben seems to like the idea. Some days we take him along and some days he stays with Grandma and Grandpa, but he will repeat endlessly that we're going to "buy new house" and who will live there - "Mommy, Daddy, Ben, new baby" -- in varying order. I still think he'll have major withdrawal when we leave G&G behind but they'll be close.

I haven't read any of the 123 Magic stuff but my brother and SIL do it with their 4 1/2 daughter. I don't know if they're doing it wrong but it seems to the rest of us that counting to 3 before there are consequences for bad behavior has basically taught her she can keep misbehaving until they get right to 3. Just a thought.