June Older Toddlers

[gertdog]

Hi all, I wasn't much of a participant last month but hope to be a bit more chatty this month!

Me: Stephanie
DH: Jason
DS: Ryan, almost 32 months!

We seem to be in a good groove at the moment- Ryan's been pretty pleasant and cooperative, I think in part because we've been spending so much time outside and he's sleeping well. I love all the pretending he's doing. We got him a little play kitchen and he makes us pancakes and picnics, and we do lots of pretend camping. He is also learning to ride his tricycle- we have a hand-me-down Kettler trike with the parent push-handle, which I love.

Now that our crazy month of May is over, we're thinking we'll try potty training this month. Should be interesting. I still don't really have a plan but will try to work on that this weekend. This weekend is also our neighborhood's annual yard sale. It is supposed to be 95 degrees :eek: and I'm not sure how we'll handle Ryan while we're outside- I'm pretty sure he won't be willing to stay inside with one of us and miss all the action! And somehow I scheduled a sitter for Saturday night too- we'll probably be too exhausted to do much besides eat dinner and come home.

And finally, a Ryan funny. Last night he wanted to climb into my lap while reading books. He sat there for a minute, then said "You're hurting me, Mommy- your legs are all sparkly." This was his way of telling me I needed to shave! He insisted on putting a blanket over my legs. It made me laugh. Sparkly is a much nicer word than stubbly. :o

[MinEaston]

Thanks for getting us going, Stephanie!

me: 37
DH: 40
DD: Anna, 3 yrs, 3 months

We are doing fine here - nothing too spectacular to report. Just yesterday I talked to Anna over the phone (she was at my parent's house) and I was stunned at how "grown up" she sounded.

We are enjoying our warmer weather (finally) but yesterday's storms and the predicted heat this weekend are just a warning of what summer's like here. I'm trying to come up with a way to put a screen over Anna's little wading pool for a few days at a time, so that the water is a decent temperature but we don't breed any more mosquitos. I haven't put the wading pool out yet, but we may have to this weekend. And, it will be such a pleasure not to have to deal with swim diapers now!

Stephanie, that's really funny about sparkly legs. Anna uses the term "scratchy," and has told my father and DH that they have scratchy faces. Then she told me I had scratchy legs one day, too.

We've hit a bit of a whining phase but we're working through it. It seems that these phases of less-than-favorable behavior last a few weeks, then they seem to disappear. So I'm hopeful.

Here's a picture from last Saturday. I'm not sure what I gave Anna to grind up in the mortar, but she loved it. Behind her (hardly visible) are the last 4 quarts of strawberries we picked on Saturday. It took me almost an hour to pick them - maybe it would have been less if she hadn't eaten all the big ones :D

http://i243.photobucket.com/albums/ff86/sailinggal71/cooking.jpg

[lisas3575]

Stephanie, let me hurl some rotten tomatoes your way. :D We're going through a rough patch of terrible twos right now, and I'm guessing a lot of it has to do with the fact that SUMMER HAS NEVER SHOWN UP. It's windy, rainy and cold, and I would not be surprised to see snow again. :mad: I'm sick of it, Owen is sick of it, our entire state is sick of this weather. We've been cooped up far too long, which spells disaster for an active toddler.

We continue (and continue and continue) to struggle with the sleep problems. It got better for a couple weeks when we moved Owen to a big boy bed, but he's back to refusing to stay in bed. Last night he was still up playing in his room at 9:30 when I went to bed. And up this morning at 5:30. After trying everything I can think of, today I am trying nothing. Mostly because I am just out. Done. My mommy well is dry. I just put him down for his nap, and I'm not going back in there, not once. He can play, sleep on the floor, swing from the closet rod-- I give up. He's going to have to figure it out.

Sigh. Sorry about the complaining, today is just a day I want to resign from the mom job. :(

[gertdog]

Stephanie, let me hurl some rotten tomatoes your way. :D

SPLAT! You got me. :D

Sorry to hear it's rough right now- UGH on the sleep problems. Maybe doing nothing will turn out to be something. Ryan really seemed on the verge of giving up naps for a few weeks (another reason April-May were crazy and frustrating), but now he's back to taking a good one 5-6 days per week. I don't understand how their little bodies and brains work!

Mariana- love the picture of Anna!

[buffygirl]

I have time for a quick post.

First, Lisa, Hugs! Sorry you are going through a rough patch. We've been there! If one more person says "Two's are nothing, Three's are the WORST!" I'm gonna resign too!:p

We are still adjusting after Greg's illness last month. He is doing really well, but he will not be able to drive until July:o Both of us are ready for him to get his wheels back. I was just worn out and ready for a break BEFORE he got sick. I'm past ready now. I am going to Chicago this weekend for 5 days for a work trip and frankly, I'm looking forward to it.:)

Rex is at a really great stage right now. He is doing lots of pretending and acting things out and is getting really good at entertaining himself. He is really enjoying the pool and is in swimming lessons for the next few weeks. Every day he asks if it is his birthday! He can't wait! I can't believe he is almost 3!

Kim

[LaraW]

Kind of late checking in here.

Lisa, how is Owen's sleep going? Has there been any success in doing "nothing"? Is he coming out of his room at 5:30 am? Hopefully he settles down soon. We moved Colin out of his crib at the end of April and so there has been an adjustment period as well. Night time bed seems to be going OK but naps are an issue, still. I have found that making sure he is good and tired helps with going to sleep. And, I don't know if its any consolation or not, but Colin's room has a bed and dresser in it. No toys, no books, no nothing. There is nothing to do in there except sleep. I will try to post a picture of naptime schenanigins that took place before we stripped the room of almost everything.

Stephanie, good luck on the potty training! We have a family vacation scheduled over the 4th of July weekend and I'm thinking about giving the PT a try when we get home. We'll see if I"m up for it. Colin has been asking to sit on the potty before bath, and he goes through phases of telling us he needs a clean diaper but that's it.

Kim, sounds like Rex is doing well too. Have his tantrums kind of subsided? I love the pretend play - so cute!

MinEaston, my BIL used to lay a tarp over their pool to keep from breeding mosquitos (he kind of floated it on the water). I don't know if that is an option for you or not. He also put some kind of pool chemical in it once a week. I can find out what it was, if you want.

We're doing pretty well here. Colin was sick over the weekend but seems to be better now. I'm not sure exactly what it was, but it involved a high fever for about 24 hours and one round of throwing up. He was very clingy yesterday - would not ride in the cart at the grocery store or walk, so that meant I got to carry him all through the store. He is 30+lbs, so it is not easy to do.

Natalie had a playdate with a friend on Saturday who has a sister who is just a little older than Colin - her birthday is in October (Colin's is in January). It is just kind of amazing to me to hear how much other kids his age are talking, and how far behind he is. :( It makes me worried for him in the future. His speech therapist did a little "language study" a few weeks ago where she wrote down 50 spontaneous words/phrases (not his responses to things we said to him) and he has only 1.59 words per sentence. Certainly not where he should be. I know that we're doign the right things and it is so obvious that he understands everything we say but it still makes me worried about him going to school and being behind other kids, what that will mean for him socially, etc. I know I'm getting ahead of myself but its hard not to let my imagination run rampant. :o

I think that is about it for us :) Happy June everyone! Lisa, I hope you're getting some more seasonal summer weather!

[buffygirl]

Lara, yes, it seems like we are over the tantrums at least for now. I belive that setting more clear boundaries really worked well for Rex. Although I don't think we are naturally "leanient" sp? parents, I think we were leaving too much open for him. He works really well within constraints. Example: When I'm driving somewhere he often thinks he needs to tell me where to turn or which way to go. Before, I would try to reason with him "That's not where we want to go" or "That's the wrong way" which would result in a huge tantrum. Now I just say "Mommy is the driver and she decides which way to go." Period, no discussion, no tantrum. I'm relieved to say the least!

I'm glad Colin is feeling better!

It looks like Rex is night trained now too. I noticed that his pullups at night were dry for the last month or two so last week I told him he'd start sleeping with undies since he was such a big boy. He's had one pee pee accident, but 5 out of 6 nights dry. Can't ask for much more than that.

Is anyone else still in a crib??? Rex has still never tried to climb out so I'm just going with it:o

Stephanie, good luck with PT!!!

[lisas3575]

Hi everyone!
I second Kim's request for a report from Stephanie. :) I just bought a different potty seat to try with Owen and it arrived yesterday. I'm so ready for Owen to be trained-- every diaper change is a colossal battle that usually involves crying and a stint of standing in the corner. Yet, he refuses to sit on his little potty. :confused: He never asks to sit on it, or seems the least bit interested. I'm going to make a big deal tonight of having him open the box with the new potty seat, and this weekend I'm going to take a shot at training.

Lara, I'm not sure how I missed your post last week. ((((((((Lara)))))))) I'm sorry to hear that Colin is still behind verbally. You are doing all the right things though, and kids are resilient. You got an early start with speech therapy, and I'm sure he'll catch up before school starts. That's a looooooong time from now. Did you discuss your concerns with the therapist? It sounds like he's made huge progress, try to focus on the gains. I know it's hard.

Kim, I'm glad to hear the tantrums are better at the moment. Gives the rest of us hope! ;) We've had a tiny bit of success with your strategy-- "it's mommy's/daddy's turn to choose the music" or whatever, and if there are two ways to get to a destination, we'll let him choose. He loves it.

We're still in a horrible patch in general (tantrums etc), and I'm guessing it will last for another year. The sleeping thing has gotten only marginally better by limiting his nap and making sure he's up no later than 3p. He's still getting out of bed-- we took all the toys out, so now he just pulls the blinds aside and looks out the window for an hour, and then comes wandering out. Delayed consequences aren't working, so we've been taking his lullaby CD away if we hear him out of bed. Ergo, his music gets taken away every night, and he has a huge meltdown (good, means it's important to him), wails for 20 minutes before he finally conks out. Rinse and repeat every single night. I keep thinking it's going to click, or he'll get tired of crying himself to sleep every single night, but no. A friend suggested having him stand in the corner as punishment for getting up, but that didn't work at all. He thought it was big fun. :rolleyes: I think we're going to just have to wait it out. I'm already dreading the teenage years. :eek: Good thing he's so cute.

Spring is finally here, so it's been nice to finally be getting out of the house.

[buffygirl]

Lisa, Hugs on the tantrums. I think you are right, they will probably just go through phases over the next year. I have found with Rex, the firmer I am the better. At first I felt "mean", but I maintain a kind tone, just very to the point...Good luck on the PT!

I meant to give an update on Greg too. He will undergo an angiogram in 2 Mondays. During his nuclear stress test, it appreared that one of the chambers of his heart is not getting enough blood. So the situation goes on. I'm trying not to stress too much. I'm still driving him around too.:o Nuff said!

How are the other toddler mommies doing?

[lisas3575]

Kim, thanks for the update on Greg-- I meant to ask about that in my novel above, but clearly couldn't wait to start complaining. ;) I'm glad they know what the problem is and have a plan to fix it. It must suck being a professional chauffeur. Is he able to work, and is he feeling well in the interim? Good wishes on the angiogram, I hope it's not a big deal. Please keep us posted.

[DanaSD]

I'm here, just been more of a lucker than poster because I've had a lot going on. Survived an unplanned extended 5 week visit by in-laws but they're gone now so life is returning to normal again.

Transition to the toddler bed went great once we gave him his sleepers back - we tried to lump both together. The bed is great because it gives him more indepence which is something we've been focused on especially with his start at montessori in March. He does get up earlier though - he used to hang out in his bed until 7 or 8 but now he's up at 6 or 7. Usually he comes out of his room with his pillow and books and lays on the floor outside our room until we say he can come in. We had a few times where he ended up out there in the middle of the night but that hasn't happened lately.

Things are pretty good and he's still a relatively easy kid, but still shows that he's 2 with some tantrums. Bedtime has moved back to about 730 which is a huge change for us - at times it was 530 or 6 and the last few months it was a quick pushback to 730. Routine has also changed a little - if he's wound up, he'll ask to be rocked for a few minutes and also I have to stay in his room once he's in bed (my rule is for 1 song on his CD).

Major issues - toilet training and trying new foods. No progress on either. Since he started school he's been in underware during the day except for a pullup at naps and when he's at home - he seems to just hold it and wait for the pullups. Sometimes he has accidents. He will tell us as soon as it happens. But every day this week when we get home I try to get him to sit on the potty. He refuses and then a few minutes later has an accident. Other times he'll sit on the potty forever and nothing. So he just won't sit when he has to go. He needs to be potty trained to move to the next class. We did pull out a pile of toys and stickers for bribes at home but no progress.

Also, how do you get your kids to try food? He refuses to even taste it and oftens its foods I think he will like.

One thing that has helped to avoid some tantrums is to give him 2 choices. For example at the end of the bath I say "do you want to let the water out or do you want mommy to let the water out?" as a way to end the bath. Or in the morning when he wants me to come in the playroom and I want to stay in bed its "do you want to play in the playroom by yourself or do you want to go back and lay in your bed?". Doesn't always work but for some situations its great.

Brendan's speech really improved once he started school. He always knew a lot of words but wasn't putting them together. Now its very long sentences (and these are often fun to hear the way they put together words). I think it helped for him to be on his own and have to figure out how to ask for things.

Hope you're all enjoyed the start of your outdoor season - for us its time to move indoors which isn't going over well with Brendan. Its been 115 this week. At least we have a pool but its still miserable.

[jphilg]

Hi guys! Saski is turning 3 tomorrow! Can you believe it? (Of course you can....we're all right there, plus or minus six months). We're actually trying to have a b-day party for her on Saturday, although it won't be remotely the Best Party Ever. It's hotdogs on the grill, fruit salad, Baskin Robbins cake and juice boxes, but I think it will hit all the highlights for the 3-year old set. Not bad for ChemoMom.

Saski had mostly emerged from tantrum hell. She still has her moments, but the running away, not listening, and high drama everything have been replaced with minor crying spells over ridiculous things, and being a major tattletale. The new paradigm is much more livable.

Potty training has finally happened, after many, many false starts. I can't find size 5 underpants anywhere, though. The 4s available in the baby/toddler section of most stores are a little snug, and the 6s in the girls department are downright baggy with rather unladylike gaps around the legs, a bit of a problem with skirts and sundresses. Any ideas?

The best news on the kid front over the last few months is that Zach (15 mo) and Saski have finally started playing together, relatively nicely, relatively unsupervised. I can send them down to the kid-proofed basement together and they'll play for 15 minutes or even a half hour before needing refereeing. I've been fantasizing about this for months, so I really relish these moments. I can unload the dishwasher without anyone trying to climb inside!

We're looking forward to our summer vacation up at my parents' farm in Maine. I have chemo Monday, then we get on the plane Tuesday and hopefully will be settled before the side effects of my treatment kick in. We're staying for the whole chemo cycle, and will return 3 weeks later, just in time for my last treatment. So it will be a nice change of scenery, even if I feel like poo the whole time. Hopefully, I won't.

Lisa, I wish I had an answer for you on the sleep issues. That sounds miserable. ((()))

Dana, I think the picky eater thing might just be the age. Saski used to eat absolutely everything from goat cheese to spicy curries to asparagus with preserved lemon vinaigrette....now we are at tortellini, eggs, and slices of American cheese (how did they even get in my house? Now it is a shopping staple). The only thing I've done that helps is to have her help make dinner, and make a big deal about the dishes she "cooked".

[DanaSD]

quick reply - try Gymboree for size 5s

[gertdog]

Potty training is not happening here. I just can't get him interested. He's plenty interested in what DH and I do in the bathroom, and he tried a few times but got frustrated because he couldn't make anything come out, and now he doesn't want to try anymore. We have a potty seat (the kind that fits over the regular toilet seat) and a stool in each bathroom and we offer to let him try with each diaper change, but he's not interested. I'm taking a week to regroup and rethink my strategy.

We finished our session of swim lessons and it went pretty well, though Ryan is scared of being on his back (even with me supporting him). We tried having him sing to help him relax and it was SO sweet- he was trying hard to be brave and singing "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" in this shaky, scared voice. It did help, and I was proud of him for trying to do what the teacher was asking. I think we'll do another session in September (they don't have AM sessions in July and August due to camp and daycare groups using the pool).

Re: food- Ryan is still a good eater generally, but there are definitely good days and not-so-good days. Lately he seems to get a kick out of pronouncing a food "yucky." Our rule is that he gets a little of everything on his plate, and he decides whether to eat it or not. He'll ask what something is, and I'll tell him, but I don't give any other encouragement. Sometimes he'll say "I don't want this" or he'll try something and then say "I don't like this" and we just say "that's fine, you can leave it on your plate" which he generally seems to accept.

Lately he also demands precision in naming foods, which I find amusing. I can't just say something is "pasta," I must say that it's "orecchiette" or "farfalle" or "spirals." It's not just "cheese" it's feta or cheddar or mozzarella. Otherwise I get "But what KIND of cheese, Mommy?" Last week there was one day when I was putting his lunch in the fridge at school, and the teacher asked him what he was having. He said "I'm having orecchiette!" (He pronounced it perfectly, too.) The teacher looked at me and said "What did he just say??" Ryan said to her "It's pasta, Miss Angie!"

Happy Birthday to Saskia! Jen, I'm sure the party will be great.

Kim, best wishes for Greg's angiogram- hope you get good news.

[greta]

I'm realizing it's impossible to keep up with "older toddlers", "new moms" and "preK". So, I just don't.

Saif, who is now just over 2 1/2, has always been such an easy kid. Well, easy kid no more. Relatively, he's not THAT bad, but his crying is driving me batty. And, the night waking, struggle going to bed, is so crazy. I think we've just passed the night waking part (thank God!), but he still wants to sleep ANYWHERE but his crib. He climbs out of his crib, but before this demonish phase, he would just climb out when he got up in the morning. We're working thru it, but it hasn't been easy.

I know I've given my potty training schpeal before, but Stephanie, I'd hate to see you struggle with it at this point, really. I truly believe when they're not ready, they're not ready. I feel like one of the main reasons why it worked well with Laith, was because he was ready (right before his 3rd bday).

Saif goes pee and poop on the potty, but randomly and with no real pattern. I've left him without a diaper and he's gone on the potty on his own, and then I've left him without a diaper and he's peed on the floor. I think he'll be ready to "train" before Laith was--and I think I'll try it in August a la Laith style (naked from waist down for a week, stay home, and focus, treats--no pullups). If it doesn't work in August, I'll revisit it in September. He starts pre-school mid-Sept and I'd like to see him almost there, but fortunately he doesn't have to be trained completely.

Ok, unfortunately, I have to cut this short...The boys may kill eachother.

Sorry for the lack of personal shout outs.
Greta

[buffygirl]

On the PT front, not sure if this will help anyone or not. We had one false start using pullups. It just didn't work for us. The next try was with real undies and that made a huge difference. We had a few days with lots of accidents, but overall, Rex was pretty well trained inside a month. I agree with Greta, the kiddo has to be ready. And of course you can't make it a battle ground. These toddlers are stubborn as mules!:p

Thanks for the well wishes for Greg, much appreciated!

[magdon]

Pull-ups didn't work with Declan either (Declan who? How long has it been since i've posted?) but some kids do get it. One friend had this plan when her son seemed interested: couple naked days at home with a lot of 7-up to drink (so he would pee alot and get the feeling/going connection more easily) with M&Ms as a reward when he sat. When that bag ran out she moved to bigger candy but only when he actually went in the potty. Worked for her but really doubt it would've worked for us. Dash (2.3 now) has moved out of the occasional interest in the potty to aint going anywhere near it. Luckily he won't start preschool for another year, so I don't have to stress until at least oh say January :rolleyes:

wish us luck: we've ordered Dash a big boy bed and it will arrive in a few weeks. I'm very interested to see how this will go since we slapped a tent on his crib when he started climbing out about 6 months ago. DH was traveling a ton and I was not in the mood to deal with stay-in-bed training by myself. Things have settled a bit now so here we go.

[lisas3575]

Happy, happy birthday, Saskia! :)

[DanaSD]

quick pop-in.

We have some break throughs this weekend - he sat on the potty after coming home from school and went (he always has an accident at this time) and then yesterday he asked to use the potty and pooped! and he was even wearing his pullups. He wears regular underware at school and mostly pullups at home. His school is also having better luck by letting him ready a book while he sits.

Thanks Stephanie for mentioning that you put everything on his plate - we were doing the family style dishes in the center of the table asking him what he wanted. We tried putting everything on his plate and it has helped a little. At first he protested but we threatend him that he would have to get down from the table (risky, I was afraid he would be fine with that). How do you discipline at the table?

[RebeccaT]

Hey all, so sorry it's been so long and I'm just now posting! It's been crazy (she says, to the choir)!

Hugs to all the potty trainers. It's so, so hard (pull up the January thread for mine and BuffyKim's exploits). Like Kim, we just had to bite the bullet and go for underwear. Pullups were just too easy, and Julia's all about easy (Me: Julia, please pick up that crayon you dropped. Julia: No, you do it!) It took us a week to get to where she'd go pretty much every time she sat on the potty, and another week for understand the "feeling" of needing to go. We've had very few accidents since (although the one last week, while shopping with her for big-girl beds, was one of the most embarrassing experiences of my life! Made an impression, though - now she gets this wild-eyed look of fear when you suggest that she might have an accident if she doesn't go potty before we leave to go somewhere!)

Speaking of big-girl beds, she is getting one for her 3rd birthday. More or less, anyway, we just called her 3rd birthday as good a time as any to move her from the toddler bed where she's been for the past 7 months into a big bed. And it will be big... queen sized. We already have a mattress, and we want to have the ability to put guests in that bed when they come visit, since we have no guest room per se. Should be interesting. She'll be so tiny in that huge bed!

We are not currently into tantrums, although I know where you are all coming from. She'll go through tantruming spells, but they are pretty short-lived. We are, however, living in Whineytown. Ugh. We correct her whenever she whines, and tell her we won't listen to her request until she uses a big-girl voice. It works sometimes, others it makes her whine more.

Our biggest battle at the moment is the onset of sibling issues. Now that Ben is so mobile, and so into whatever she inis doing, she is getting really annoyed (and again with the whiney) when he crawls over to her and tries to grab her Lego or Little People or whatever. And yet she thinks she's entitled to his toys, and will regularly grab them away from him so that she can play with them (and then she tries to tell me, "But I'm showing him how to do it!" Right!) But every once in a while, she'll have a ball playing with him and making him laugh, and I see some light at the end of the tunnel. Any advice?

I now have a toddler on my lap begging to play Charlie and Lola games on the computer. I've created a monster!

[Megan James]

I should check in here more often. Reading these threads makes me feel not so alone and not such a "bad Mom".
We are having issues with both potty training and general not doing what she is told. I think the not doing as she is told is bugging me way more than the potty training. I feel like I am constantly saying "no!" and "come on" other not so nice things. But it always takes 2-3 askings before Rebecca will do what I'm asking.

On the potty training front she needs to be trained for three reasons: 1) She keeps getting nasty diaper rash from sitting in her poop (she won't tell us she poops) 2)Changes are getting harder and harder and she wails and says it hurts 3)I'm due with #2 in August and I think 1 in diapers is enough for me:)

On the good side Rebecca is really cute with her imagination and trying to do all sorts of things. I love it when she "reads" book to her friends. She remembers a few key lines of the story and then says "the end"

-Megan

[lisas3575]

Dana-- Woohoo!!! :) Those little successes are what keeps us going, right?

Rebecca-- obviously no advice on the sibling issues, other than you are not alone. I think every single mom of multiple kids has the same problem. I have a cute visual of Julia recreating the princess and the pea in that huge bed. Sorry about the accident at the bed stores, sounds like there was some merchandise involved? Yikes.

Megan-- Sorry, but I have the bad mom crown for at least the rest of the year before you can vie for it. ;)

We had one success on the potty this weekend, right out of the gate (hooray!) and then multiple disasters. Day care basically told us today that they aren't willing to train him, but if he starts going at home first, then they'll let him sit on the potty there. Sigh. I was really hoping they'd do most of the heavy lifting. DH is against continuing too, because Owen is still really resisting sitting on the potty at all. They are probably right, though I'm stubborn and I hate giving up already after only 2 days.

[DanaSD]

today he went on the potty at school and his teacher said they all clapped for him. So I guess potty training is on my agenda next week when he's home with me (and while trying to keep my business running without daycare :eek:)

Brendan doesn't listen to me either. It takes a few repeats and usually a threat (I count to 3 and hten its a timeout - he waits until 2 to behave). He's not like this with my husband or anyone else. Its frustrating because its mostly things like getting dressed in the morning.

The reading a book thing really helped to get Brendan sit on the potty. Also, I have a friend who brought the potty into the TV room and they watched lots of movies until she pooped.

[lisas3575]

Just a quick post-- we're heading out the door for a much needed overnight anniversary trip, but I need to vent because I am so upset. I dropped Owen off at daycare for the day, and they informed me that he's being moved to their big center in two weeks! I thought he could stay at their smaller location until he was three. :( I cried all the way home. I have no idea why I'm so upset-- it's really not that big of a deal. Plus, I haven't even bothered to visit their bigger (main) location, and I'm sure it's just as wonderful. Owen has just been at this one since he was one, and it's small and the caregivers are wonderful. I worry about the transition, for him and for me. :o The plus size is that they are moving another 4 kids at the same time, so he'll at least have some familiar faces. That's a huge bunch leaving all at once-- there's probably only 12 kids there total.

Hope everyone has a good weekend.

[helios7]

I have time on my hands today, and was browsing through this thread. I remember when you all had your babies - and now they're turning 3! :eek:I am not a parent yet (although our first baby will arrive in late November) but I am a preschool teacher (currently doing special ed) and through my ABA case this year I got to experience toilet training for the first time. So, I thought i'd share the experience in case it helps. If it doesn't... oh well. I wish you all luck. But my supervisor told me how she trained her typically developing nephew within a day using the ABA technique (which yes, is primarily intended for children with special needs) so I thought it worth sharing.

Basically the child needs to be in underwear. Pullups are too confusing. The child needs to be taken to the bathroom on a schedule (this is a lot of work at first - no doubt about that!) beginning with every 15 minutes in the beginning. As the child begins to progress trips can be extended to every half hour, then every forty-five minutes etc. If the child doesn't go, then you say something like "oh well, we'll try again later." Keep the experience nonchalant, but make sure the child sits for 2 minutes or so. If the child goes... even a drop or two then woo hoo! Potty party! You praise the child, make it a big deal, and give them a treat. This particular child was rewarded with M&Ms, but dried fruit, fruit snacks a cookie... whatever works for your child. Although initially it should be small as there may be many frequent successes. And then you come back again in 15 minutes (or 30, or 45 etc).

It is a LOT of work initially... but a few days of intensive bathroom trips and training can really go a long way. This child is now using the bathroom pretty well and the parents did NOT invest the time so the burden fell on us 8 hours a week. 3 months later.. he's going like a champ.

The key points -
Going frequently in the beginning minimizes the likelihood of accidents and maximizes the likelihood of reinforcing or rewarding the behavior you want. It's not meant to drive you crazy! :)

The reinforcement (treat) is key at the beginning. Eventually you can phase it out (reinforce every couple trips not every trip) but it can be motivating to a reluctant child.



I don't remember who said their day care wasn't on board, but that's a problem. That will delay the process. Perhaps you can work on it at home during a week when the child is not at daycare so their skills are strong enough that the teachers will take them to the bathroom. I'm sorry - toilet training IS part of preschool, and a child will not train nearly as well if only training at home. :( Perhaps something worth taking up with the director, if they continue to resist.

Hopefully this will be helpful to someone...back to lurking! :)

[lisas3575]

Thanks, Heather!! That was really helpful, and pretty much in line with what we did. Where we ran into trouble was getting him to sit after the first couple times-- he got really resistant about not wanting to sit on the potty and we didn't want to turn it into a battle. We're holding off until he's willing, does that sound reasonable?

It was me that posted about day care not doing any PT. It's kind of a long story, but he's at their smaller satellite center, for newborns through 3 (or 2.5, see my previous post :rolleyes: ). They said they don't do PT at their location, it happens at the bigger center. I guess that's a plus about his upcoming move.

[cchhbb]

Potty training has finally happened, after many, many false starts. I can't find size 5 underpants anywhere, though. The 4s available in the baby/toddler section of most stores are a little snug, and the 6s in the girls department are downright baggy with rather unladylike gaps around the legs, a bit of a problem with skirts and sundresses. Any ideas?


Delurking
Jen,

The best place to find size 5 undies is Oshkosh. I went through this with my older son and was able to find Oshkosh undies in a 5. They also don't strink the way that many undies do. I'm a total convert to their undies. I used to find them at TJ Maxx, Ross, and Marshalls, but haven't lately. I end up going to the outlet stores.

Hope this helps.

Cheryl

Back to lurking.

[jphilg]

Thanks, Cheryl and Dana.....I'll check out your suggestions.

Ill-fitting panties aside, we're so there on PT! No accidents all week. In fact, she's had a dry pull-up in the morning for the past 3 or 4 nights, so I think we're going to go for night PT tonight. Hurray! Only one in diapers!

[mst]

Hello everyone. I am always reading what is going on with everyone (and learning lots!), but usually do not have two hands free to post.

We have not started PT. Daycare has recommended the "pull and pray" method- pretty much what Helios suggested. We (daycare and us) are going to start next Monday. I figure that they are the experts, I will let them give it a go, and let me know if they think she is ready. We "mention" PT a lot. Like, "oh look! So-and-so has dora underwear. Cool. Hmm. When you are PT, you could get those too." It would be nice to have her trained.

So, questions for you guys...
Ilyssa whines about things for a while. Like, if we say "no juice", she will hang onto the refridgerator whining, "but I WANT juice. Mommy- I want juice. Juice. Juice. Etc..." I pretty much ignore her, but DH feels that she should not keep whining about things after we tell her no. So, he wants to put her in time-out for whining about things like that, but I feel like she will live in time-out if that is a time-out offense. Plus, I like to keep time-out for bigger things. I am afraid if we put her in time-out all the time, it won't be effective.

On that same line, DH and I have different views on some things. Dumb things- like it bothers him that Ilyssa likes to suck grapes into her mouth. He's afraid that she is going to choke. So, he tries to correct her, and when she does not listen, he gets upset with me if I do not back him up. But, I don't really care, and I don't want to be disciplining her for things that don't matter to me, and I feel are very minor. I ended up telling her that she had a choice- either I cut the grapes, or she needs to stop sucking them. But, it makes me crazy that I am the one who ends up cutting the grapes, and dealing with her crying that her grapes are cut. Anyone have suggestions when they disagree with their spouse?

She is adorable, and trouble. She is in love with Shayna. The phrase most commonly heard at our house,
Us: DON"T wake Shayna!
Ilyssa: I am not waking Shayna.
Shayna: WAAAAAHHH!
Ilyssa: Shayna is awake! I am going to play with her! :rolleyes: