July Older Toddlers

[RebeccaT]

Me: Rebecca, 34
DH: Charles, 34
DD: Julia, just turned 3 on Sunday!
DS: Ben, will be 1 on Tuesday!

I have not been very active on this thread lately, but I will try to be better. I've missed ya'll!

I'll start out answering Meredith's question about the whining. Like I've said before, Julia is not a big tantrum-er (though she's been known to throw down when being disciplined for something) but she loves to whine. She has the perfect voice for it, too - she's already so high-pitched, it's not really a stretch for her to pull it into whiney mode. Anyway, I am fully preparing for this to be a long-term battle, at least based on the experiences of my friends, most of whom have older children. I am finding that it's best to tell her that I am ignoring her. I know that sounds weird, but I tell her "I can't hear you when you whine" and then I ignore her. Or "I am not listening to that whiney voice. Please us a different one." This is particularly effective when she is asking for something I fully intend to comply with, but without reinforcing the whining. For instance, this happens in the car:
Julia (whining): I want to listen to MY music!
Me (calm, cool, and rational :cool: ): I can't hear you when you whine. Try asking in a big-girl voice.
Julia: May I have my music please?
Me (making a big deal over saying yes): Sure! What CD would you like?

This exchange has greatly reduced the whining over music selection in the car. Now she usually asks without whining, and even if I say "It's my turn, we're going to listen to my music for a while," she's generally ok with that. If she whines when I say it's my turn, I say the same thing as above, "I can't hear your whining. It will be your turn when we're going home." She knows she absolutely won't get her way when she's whining, but she has a chance if she's not.

In your example, because she's continuing to badger you after you've said no, I actually would count and then put her in time-out for continuing to whine. That's a perfect time to use counting: "I'm not listening to your whiney voice. That's 1." Then if she whines again, "That's 2." If she whines again, "That's 3. Time-out." Then the next time you count while she's whining, she'll remember that you mean business and hopefully stop whining.

We're seeing quite a bit of improvement this way - she still whines, but she shapes up when reminded.

Julia turned 3 on Sunday! We had a nice family get-together and loads of presents (no one was excessive, she just has a lot of family!) that she really enjoyed. She got a lot of dress-up stuff, and she's loving that. Also a hit - unit blocks from Melissa and Doug. They're wider than most, so more sturdy for building, and she's really enjoying them. Her party is in just over a week. We're having a pancake party - her friends were invited to come over in their pajamas in the morning, I'm plugging in the electric griddle and making pancakes with yummy additions (blueberries, chocolate chips, or bananas, and whipped cream or syrup on top) and inflating the jumpy castle we're borrowing from friends. Should be fun, assuming it's not crazy hot already at 9 AM (in Houston, it very well could be 85 by then!)

[mst]

Thanks for the advice. We are going to try that out.

How is your mom?

Cute story- Ilyssa got in trouble at daycare, and was so excited about it, it was the first thing she told me when I picked her up. Not the smartest kid!:p

[lisas3575]

Happy birthday, Julia and Ben!! I didn't remember that their birthdays were so close together. Is that good or bad?

Ditto to MST about your mom. I've been thinking about her and wondering if there was any news on her cancer. :(

Meredith, I've had luck with the same approach as Rebecca for Owen's whining. I don't give in, and ask him to use his big boy voice, and so far it works most of the time.

[buffygirl]

Happy Birthday Ben and Julia!

We are going through a great stage right now. I'm really enjoying all of Rex's observations about the world:p No big challenges, exept eating of course.

Greg's angiogram this week was completely clear, no blockage, no congenital problems. We are thrilled! So we are just treating his initial problem which is pretty straightforward. We feel so blessed!


How did all of the toddlers do with fireworks??? Rex just hates the loud noise so he spent most of his time inside with Grandma Sue while the big boys (my husband and the other pyros) shot off a 2 hour extravaganza. It was fun. The most dangerous part was the sparklers.:rolleyes:

Kim

[lisas3575]

Kim, that's great news about Greg!! Is he cleared to resume driving etc? Congratulations to you both, you must be relieved. What about that episode he had that started this all off-- any answers? You may have said and I've forgotten. :o

[buffygirl]

Yes, he started driving again on Wednesday! No more driving Miss Daisy!:) What he is dealing with is a condition called vaso depressor synchopee which is where when his vaso vagal nerve gets "tweaked" (by coughing, dehydration, illness, getting up at night too fast), his blood pressure drops, blood pools in his legs and he passes out. Since he is so young and has not had any episodes since "the incident", we're just watching him, staying hydrated, no meds unless he starts feeling weird again. We are so happy to be moving past this!

Kim

[lisas3575]

I've had a couple vaso vagal episodes in the last year and they are no fun. :( The last time I was home alone with Owen (DH was across the country for work) and kept passing out on the way to try and get him out of his crib. TG my mom lives in town and was able to come stay with us. Fingers crossed that this is behind Greg, permanently!

[gertdog]

Happy July, all!

Rebecca, happy birthday to Julia and Ben! How did the pajama party go?

Kim, I'm so glad to hear that you've gotten good news from Greg's doctors, and that you're off chauffeur duty!

Re: fireworks- Ryan is usually in bed by 7:30 or so, so we really debated taking him to see fireworks since it would mean staying up several hours later than usual. But he was so excited (they'd been talking about fireworks at daycare) that we decided to do it- and then it started raining. The local fireworks show was only going to be canceled in the event of "heavy" rain so we decided to brave it and I'm glad we did. He was absolutely thrilled. He kept calling out the colors of the fireworks as they exploded and at one point he smacked his hands on his cheeks (a la Macaulay Culkin in Home Alone) and said "Oh my goodness, they just keep coming!" which had me and DH cracking up.

He's also making me laugh with other things he says lately- he's been "verbing" all kinds of words. Examples: "Are we going fireworking tonight?" (on the 4th of July); "I'm brooming the floor, Mommy" (doesn't know the word "sweep"), "Look, Mommy, I'm pianoing!" (playing his toy piano) and, when I called to him from the kitchen to ask what he was doing in the family room, "Just markerin', Mommy" (coloring with his markers).

I am going to be out of town for a long stretch next week- 6 days, which I think is the longest I've been away since he was born. It will be tough on Ryan, and probably even tougher on DH since Ryan is still in a major phase of preferring Mommy. Any tips to make it easier on Ryan? I'll be able to call each evening before bedtime, and he'll have his usual daytime routine at daycare, though he'll be attending extra days (usually he's home with me a few days).

[mst]

Kim- glad to hear about Greg!

Thanks for the advice on the whining. We are working on it, and trying your theory.

Steph- Ryan sounds hysterical.

We are doing well here. Summer brings such great things, like outdoor parties, and we are enjoying them. I went tubing with Ilyssa yesterday and she had fun. I hope she enjoys the water as much as I do!

She's still doing great with Baby Shayna. Makes me melt!

[lisas3575]

Stephanie, I have the only kid on the planet that prefers daddy to mommy at every turn, but I've found that out of sight is out of mind for Owen. If Cory is gone, he has no qualms about me being the one to give him his bath, read the stories, put him to bed (ha ha), etc. Hopefully it will be the same for Ryan, and it will be a special time for them both. Cory is going out of town tomorrow for 6 days too, so your DH and I are in the same boat. :p

[DanaSD]

How many more days until school starts again???? So DS's school is closed for July and he's home with me the beginning of each week though I also have office work for the business to get done. Today he was totally testing me! and I'm not so good at handling it and he pushes me the most. Completely ignoring me or screaming at me when he doesn't like my answer. For the first time, I had to follow up on the "if you don't start behaving, we're leaving the store" - I carried a crying kid out of the store who cried the whole way home. And this isn't like him, he's relatively easy kid.

On another note, want cheap entertainment for your toddler? tape a balloon attached to a ribbon to the wall (without hellium so the balloon is down) - for hours today he batted at it or bounced it off the wall.

I'm looking for some suggestions for plane ride entertainment? We discussed this a year ago, but looking for new ideas and ones for this age. We have a DVD player so that will help.

[gertdog]

I'm looking for some suggestions for plane ride entertainment? We discussed this a year ago, but looking for new ideas and ones for this age. We have a DVD player so that will help.

For our most recent trip Ryan enjoyed a few new things- a foldout magnetic playset (transportation-themed), a "Very Hungry Caterpillar" colorforms set- same idea as the magnet set, crayons and paper (as always). And assorted Dover Little Activity Books (http://www.amazon.com/s/qid=1215617990/ref=sr_nr_n_0?ie=UTF8&rs=1000&keywords=Dover%20little%20activity%20books&bbn=4&rnid=1000&rh=i%3Astripbooks%2Ck%3ADover%20little%20activity% 20books%2Cn%3A4)- they are cheap and perfectly-sized for travel. I have a large stash of these and bring several on every trip. Some are just stickers, some are sticker "activities", some are mini-coloring books, etc.

A friend who regularly travels to Brazil with her preschool-age son- a 13-hour flight- says that she always packs a small rimmed cookie sheet for their flights. She says it's great to place on the tray table and can be a surface for Matchbox cars or trains, or a magnet play surface, or a coloring tray that keeps crayons/pens from rolling away. Her son's current favorite is to put a blank sheet of paper in the tray, and then he and Mom draw a scene with lots of roads or train tracks and he plays with his cars on that. I'm going to try this since I always seem to be fetching fallen crayons and toys from under airplane seats.

For our upcoming trip I have a ViewMaster and some different animal reels stashed away.

Sorry to hear that Brendan's going through a "testing" phase! Ryan has been very "emotional" lately, as his teacher describes it- crying about random things like not getting the color he wanted at art time.

[DanaSD]

Yes, Brendan will break down in tears if I give him the wrong color bowl. I just give him the option of not eating (or what ever activitiy it is) or accepting the color.

I was looking at a magnetic board yesterday but it was huge. Its a great idea if I can find a normal sized one. Love the activity books too. Where do you find the boards and books? I've been scouting target and toysrus for things but haven't come up with anything - everything is so big, makes noise, and mostly junky (I'm so tired of all the licensed character plastic junk). We do havea great teacher supply shop that also sells toys so I'll stop by there this week. Brendan would love viewmaster but would get too excited (and loud) - but I think I'll get one of those for once we arrive.

Lisa, Brendan is also a daddy's boy. If we're both home, he spends all his time with DH. Though at nighttime he usually prefers me or if he gets hurt, doesn't feel well, etc. But if DH isn't home, he's usually fine hanging out with me.

[gertdog]

I was looking at a magnetic board yesterday but it was huge. Its a great idea if I can find a normal sized one. Love the activity books too. Where do you find the boards and books?

I bought a bunch of the books at our local nature center after a class Ryan and I took there, and then ordered more from Amazon, where they're buy 3 get the 4th free.

I got the transportation magnet set at the Phoenix Airport, as it happens! It is a metal tin, about the size of a paperback book, made by Lee Publications. The Very Hungry Caterpillar Set and a Pirate set that I have stashed in the closet both came from Target. Both are smaller than a standard sheet of paper. I also have a Zoo set by Smethport (http://www.amazon.com/s/?field-brandtextbin=Smethport%20Specialty&rh=n:165793011,p_4:Smethport%20Specialty&tag=so0b9-2027166-20) that I picked up at a yard sale for a buck- it's a large cardboard folder (file folder size).

[LaraW]

We just got back from a vacation that involved time on an airplane as well as a lot of time in the car. My kids loved Wikki Stix - they are wax-coated pieces of yarn that can be shaped into various things, and then re-used. I picked them up at Hobby Lobby for about $5.

We also made some use of the DVD player and had some CD's that we listened to in the car. How long is your flight? Colin was happy to color a puppet on the barf bag :o in the plane and then play with said puppet.

[DanaSD]

wikki sticks are fun. We had an awesome local toystore that carried lots of nice toys but it recently closed. They do have another one on the other side of town that I should stop at. We just got back from the mall and went to KB Toys - lots of junk! We did get a great toddler backpack at Children's Place. Brendan wore it out of the store and wanted to nap in it.

We're flying from Phoenix to Philadelphia for a trip to the Jersey shore to visit my parents.

He's 2 1/2 and average sized - should I gate check the carseat or bring it onboard. I think he'd more comfortable without it with more room to move around. We are flying first class (using miles).

[MinEaston]

I'll post more later when I have time (ha ha)

Dana, I would bring the carseat on board, to be honest. I don't think there are any regulations regarding whether kids have to be strapped in, but an airline seatbelt isn't going to do much good with a little one. In our case we had to use the carseat to get Anna to stay put (we have managed to fly around naptime, so far).

We also bought one of those CARE FAA-approved harnesses from Kids Fly Safe, and then we've gate-checked her carseat (except when we fly to visit the SIL who has 3 kids of her own and therefore, extra carseats). I love that harness. Anna's been such a peanut I'm sure we'll use it for a long time.

Where on the Jersey shore will you be? Just curious. We're pretty much due east of there but unfortunately, not on your way if you're going to Phila (BWI, on the other hand...)

but I digress, and I have to get to work to finish 2 reports and a proposal response due tomorrow. First I have to deal with today's contractor questions regarding our kitchen remodel (more on that later!)

[gertdog]

We've been using the CARES harness on board and gate-checking the carseat. I don't trust the lap belt in the airplane seat to be sufficient for little ones. The one downside that I've found to gate-checking the carseat rather than bringing it on board is that Ryan will nap in his carseat, but we've yet to successfully get him to nap on a flight when he's in the CARES harness.

[Megan James]

Things have been hectic around here. We were visiting my parents last week. This coming week we are flying to Vancouver for my cousins wedding.
Dana I'm glad you asked the questions about entertainment for the little one. We did not have near enough entertainment on the 10hour drive to my parents and it was rough going for a while. I was hoping Rebecca would sleep a LOT more than she did. So I'm planning to bring a bit more for the plane ride.
I'm planning to bring the car seat on board. We recently got a Radian65 which folds up so it's easier to carry (though it is heavy).
I'm thinking of getting some Fisher Price Little people sets for Rebecca for when her little brother arrives (late august). I'm having a bit of a dilemna on which ones to get. The older models I think are nicer but the people are smaller and I'm sure classified as a choking hazard. The newer ones just don't seem as nice to me, but on the up size even a large adult couldn't get one of those people down their throat! I'm not too concerned about Rebecca, but a little concerned about her yet to born little brother.

[buffygirl]

Just popping in to post a 4th of July pic, I haven't posted pics of Rex in ages!:o

http://im1.shutterfly.com/media/47b8d932b3127ccec4ceb712d9ad00000040O08AYuGjhi1aOQ e3nwE/cC

[lisas3575]

Kim, can you post that photo a little bigger? I want to see him!

[RebeccaT]

Sorry to disappear after starting the thread, everyone. It's been crazy. Beginning with Julia's birthday, then 4th of July weekend (we were out of town), then Ben's birthday, then Julia's party... it's been a marathon. But lots of fun!

Julia's party was great. It was at our house, which was harrowing (and I almost had a meltdown the night before) but it was so worth it. We had a Pancake Party (Wear your pajamas! Bring your favorite lovey! We're having a pancake party because Julia's turning THREE!) and it was a blast. All the kids came in their pj's, we inflated two bouncers in our backyard (one small one that we own, one huge one that some friends own) and I plugged in the electric griddle and played line cook for the morning. It started at 9am so it wasn't too blazing hot (until maybe the last 20 minutes or so) and the kids all seemed to enjoy themselves. I had some fun choices for the pancakes (the winner hands down was chocolate chips and sprinkles, followed closely by blueberry) and Julia blew out candles on a pancake stack covered in whipped cream and sprinkles with a cherry on top (the cream got kind of melty, but it was still cute). I was wiped out for the rest of the weekend, but not too badly b/c I had great help from family.

Speaking of, my mom is doing well at the moment. Thanks so much to ya'll who asked. She is between chemo and radiation, and feeling good, so she was able to come down for this past weekend and even had enough energy to help in the kitchen with the party (she doesn't do well in heat, so we had her stay inside which was great b/c she made up an extra batch of batter and cooked up the bacon). Radiation begins in a week, so we'll see how that goes.

Thanks so much for the discussion on flight activities. We have one coming up in August, and we haven't flown with both kids before. I am ordering some of those activity books, Stephanie, thanks so much for the suggestion! Ben will be a lap baby for the flight, so we will be dividing and conquering - whoever is not holding Ben will have to keep Julia occupied. Should be interesting!

[buffygirl]

Lisa, I wish I knew how to make the pic bigger!:o I'm not sure what is going on...anyone have any hints???

Kim

[lisas3575]

I think you need to link to a bigger JPG on Shutterfly's site. I'm not familiar with their site, but if you send me an invitation through Shutterfly to the address in my profile, I'd be happy to look into how to do it. :)

[lisas3575]

I'm in the middle of reevaluating Owen's day care situation, and I'm really struggling with trying to balance the best place for him vs. cost. It feels horrible that cost is even a factor, but it is. We're not loving the place he's been moved to (long story), so I've been touring a few other places to compare.

We can keep him where he's at, but the ratio is higher than I like, it's loud, and the playground is in the full, hot sun. On the plus side, there are familiar kids there, and he seems to like it ok (today is only day 2). Cost is mid-range.

The one I really feel good about is significantly higher cost until he's potty trained, and slightly higher once he's trained, whenever that is. The ratio is good, they do an art and music program and it just feels good. Food is organic. The only minus is the financial cost.

We toured a third facility today, and their rates are incredibly reasonable (half of the unpotty trained rate at my first choice), and get this-- "Client's rate will never increase so long as the client's family size and hours stay the same." They also offer after school care and summer care for when he's older, which would be a huge plus. It's only about 1/2 mile from our house, too. The minuses are still a higher ratio (though the room seemed much calmer), and poor quality food/snacks. Looks like juice is the main beverage. Erg.

It's so hard to know if it's better to put the money into his care now, or bank the savings for his college. Any insight?

It's so hard, I know he'll likely be fine wherever he is. It is such an emotional decision!

[Couperine]

Lisa, if it comes down to it, when it's time for Owen to go to college, there are many options available to him to help pay for college if you haven't saved enough. At this point, I'd use your assets to pay for a better now since when he's a young adult, he can help with his college experience.

Just my two cents of course. :)

[aprilbride]

Lisa, FWIW...my feelings are the same as Nancy's on this subject.....Elliott has been going to the same daycare since he was about 5 months old (he turned 3 in April) and Mia is now going to the same center, as a matter of fact, she's got the same teachers in the infant room Elliott used to have. I don't even want to think about the amount of money we spend every month on daycare, but we've accepted that it's just the way it is right now and are ok with it because we are very comfortable and satisfied with the care they are getting. We are planning on keeping both kids there through their private kindergarten. We've had to shave the budget on other things here and there since adding Mia to the mix, but it's worth it and I wouldn't have it any other way...

Good luck with your decision:-)!

[gertdog]

Lisa, my 2 cents say go with your gut and choose the more expensive place that you're most comfortable with. How long can it be, realistically, until Owen's potty-trained and you're back to paying a (somewhat) lower rate? ;) Seriously, though- my thinking is that there's so much brain development and social development going on from ages 0-5, that I'd want the best possible environment to stimulate and support that growth.

I'm in Houston for my conference and feeling really tired. Sounds like Ryan and DH are doing well- I've been able to chat with Ryan on the phone each night and with the exception of one "I want MOMMY!" tantrum it sounds like he's been pretty agreeable. I miss him like crazy and can't wait to get home on Saturday!

[RebeccaT]

Aw, Stephanie, you're in Houston? For how much longer? I wish we could get together, but it would have to be tonight, wouldn't it?? I can if you can...

Lisa, I am going to take a slightly different position than some of the others. IMO, since children get most of their earliest stimulation from their parents, I think we parents have more wiggle room when it comes to childcare settings than we think we do. The most important thing children do at this age is play. If Owen can play in a fun environment where he is getting enough teacher attention to stay safe, then I think that's enough for right now. If you are going to be stressed because of the expense, that is not going to create a good environment at home for Owen, or for you and DH. You should be considered in this decision too. If spending that much on daycare is going to make it hard for you to do other things you want to do as a family, then maybe it's not the best thing. Ben is going to a childcare facility next year for two days a week, and while there is another nearby that has more "programming" and is very well-respected, it's considerably more per month. With two in childcare, we just can't afford that right now, so we went with a loving, nurturing church childcare for this next year, and we will reevaluate next spring to see if we can move Ben to Julia's school (we probably will, another reason for saving some $$ for this year). Just my $.02

That said, I agree with Stephanie that Owen will likely be trained by his third birthday if not soon after, and so maybe spending more for a couple of months so that you can keep him at a place you love won't be so bad. Only you and DH really know for sure what toll it will take.

[gertdog]

Rebecca, I so wish I could meet you and Kim and some of the other Houston BBers (Houstonians? Houstonites?) on this trip! I have a ridiculously packed schedule- in addition to actually going to conference sessions I have a bunch of client meetings- since they're here and I'm here, they want to meet now so they don't have to pay my travel to a separate meeting later. I'm sitting in the hotel lobby now waiting for one of my clients...

I did want to clarify that when I said "best possible environment" I didn't mean that it has to be something with a structured curriculum- I agree that kids this age do their learning through play, and through participating in culturally meaningful activities (like helping Mom and Dad clean or grocery shop or having a family meal). I just meant that since Lisa seems to love the environment at the more expensive daycare, and that the main pros of the other alternative seem to be lower cost and that it's not as bad as the current one (I'm paraphrasing), that one does seem ahead of the other in terms of being a good environment. (Also, I personally would be frustrated by a place that didn't emphasize good nutrition.) I don't think expensive necessarily = quality, but in this case it might, between the three options discussed.

I would be concerned about a classroom that is consistently noisy and chaotic- are there a lot of new kids there who've moved at the same time as Owen? Is there a chance that it might calm down after the transition?

Oops, client approaching- got to go!! :)

[MomofMooch]

Lisa, on the daycare question--you've gotten good advice already, but I just wanted to add a few extra thoughts (since you asked for opinions!).

Often (not always, of course), the more expensive daycares are putting that money toward teacher salaries to recruit and retain the best quality providers they can, and to maintain a lower teacher:child ratio (i.e., to go "one better" on the state-mandated maximum ratios). Our daycare center is one of the more expensive in Ann Arbor, but I know, from sitting on the parent advisory board and seeing the budget at each monthly board meeting, that all that money is overwhelmingly going to: a) retain high-quality providers; b) provide them with good benefits (health insurance) to keep them happily employed; c) always "better" the state ratio maximums in every room (e.g., 3:1 in the infant room, when the state permits 4:1); and d) to support the teachers in furthering their educations (they are all expected to be working toward bachelor's degrees, if they don't already have them). They are committed to fostering the education of these people, minimizing turnover, and not letting the good ones get swept away by a family wanting to hire someone away to be a nanny.

Because the early years are so important (and because I have horrible working-mother guilt that *I* am not the one spending all that quality time with my boys during the day), I feel very strongly that I want the best of the best to be educating and nurturing my impressionable toddler (and now a newborn too). With the cheap option, I would just be so afraid that "you get what you pay for." So, I shell out the big bucks every month (and with a toddler and an infant, it's absurdly high!). But I love my boys' teachers, and both my boys are thriving there.

Not sure this helps you, but if nothing else, perhaps this gives you fodder for follow-up questions to ask at each of those centers as you make your decision--ask them what you are getting for your money to see how they answer! Good luck!

[DanaSD]

Our current preschool is more expensive than the last place but so much better. I feel so good about taking him there everyday and feel no working mom guilt. I think he's happier in that environment than if he was home with me - he thrives on their program and being around kids. BUT I think what is a good match for my son, doesn't neccessarily apply to another child. I've recently become friends with a mom whose son is in Brendan's class, and they're waiting to have another child until her son starts first grade so that they can afford to send the second child to this preschool. When we pick up Brendan he likes to hang out at school and show me everything and I enjoy hanging out and talking to the teachers. Parents are welcomed and there is such a calm and family feel to the school. The calm feeling is just so amazing its hard to explain - they're still kids running around being kids but its not chaotic like his other school and the teachers are so relaxed, happy and seem to really enjoy their jobs.

There is another school in the area that has a reputation of being a top school (its a more traditional type school) and is even more expensive than our current school. I do plan on visiting though because I want to be able to compare. But I really doubt I would switch because I love our current school and its already a lot of money.

I would suggest staying with your school a little longer to see how you feel about it. You wouldn't want to switch him, then not have that school work, and go back to the original.

As far as a familar environment with the kids from his previous school, kids at this age make friends so fast that I wouldn't worry about this if you do decide to change him.

[lisas3575]

Thanks, everyone, for the valuable insight. Y'all had some really good thoughts. I found the discussion about play vs. structured learning especially valuable. We're waiting for DH to be able to tour the more expensive center before we make a decision-- we haven't heard back from them about if there's a waiting list, but it's nice to have a little buffer to see how the transition goes at the current center. I think we've decided against the inexpensive option, it just didn't feel right to me.

Thanks again for helping me reason through all of this!

[Megan James]

Lisa
We just switched daycares too and it is very tough! My decision ended up being slightly monetary in that my #1 choice for Rebecca would not allow the new baby to go part time, so we would have tripled rather than doubled our current cost. I also preferred the home we were originally at for the new baby but then that would mean 2 drop offs. We ended up in a home that takes more kids (12), with a nursery school down the street that Rebecca will go to twice a week in the fall. We switched b/c I really felt Rebecca needed the interaction with other kids her age and our original place it was just her and one other kid. The third place you mentioned sounds promising. Maybe you could go visit there for longer (like bring owen in for an afternoon if they will let you) or visit at a couple different times to judge the noise ratio.
And I hear you loud and clear on the food/drink choices! This time around every place I visited was serving cupcakes or smores for snack with various colors of kool-aid. Turns out the place we ended up at actually does a relatively good job on food and the cupcakes were a special occasion.

[lisas3575]

We finally were able to tour the smaller, more expensive center together today and DH liked it too. I'm guessing we'll make the switch. Thanks everyone for helping me get some perspective. :)

On a related, irritating front, I was included on the mass e-mail list from this new place yesterday-- they are opening a 3rd home-based location (this is where Owen will actually attend, it's a 2-3 facility that works on potty training) and send out this laundry list of donations they "need". Take a look:
Donations for $100 (x10)
Donations for $50 (10)
First aid kits (x2)
Play house (x1)
Certified Playground Bark Chips (x5 yards)
Child safety gates (at Petsmart -x1)
Shelving (x2 -Target)
Napmats (x10)
Musical Instruments (variety)
Rice Cooker (x1 zojirushi 10 cup)
Kids basketball hoop
Balls
Furniture (chairs, couch, kids furn, end tables)
Area Rugs (x3 solid colors)
Porch swings (x2)

This is only about half the list. :eek: Putting aside that my kid doesn't even go there (yet), can someone please explain to me why I shouldn't be annoyed? I run my own business, and I certainly can't go to my clients and ask them to supply me! It's the cost of doing business, and they certainly aren't a charity. The daycare where DS is currently also does fundraising that leaves me with a bad taste in my mouth. What am I missing? It feel like emotional blackmail-- "you want your kid to have this stuff, right??" Does anyone else's daycare do this?

[gertdog]

Well, on a happy note, I'm glad your DH liked the new place too!

Re: fundraising- our center does it, but they don't ask for donations of the kinds of things you've listed. I mean, if they're opening a new center, safety gates, first aid kids, playground mulch and the like ought to be part of their initial investment, right??? I mean, if no one donates a first aid kit, are they just going to do without? I hope not!

Our center does a few things per year, and I believe most of these are parent-initiated (there's a parent committee that meets once per month with the director). In the fall, there are "KidStuff" books- like Entertainment coupon books, but geared toward local kid-friendly shopping, dining, and activities. They're $25 each and the center gets half. A few times per year there is a book display in the lobby, and the center gets a percentage of sales back in the form of books. Around the holidays they sell "Butter Braids" which are frozen pastries. The only one I buy is the KidStuff book since I get good use out of the coupons. I don't mind the others since there is absolutely no pressure to participate or sell.

I also don't mind too much on principle- from what I learned from sitting in on a few parent committee meetings is that the proceeds essentially allow the teachers to buy a few new toys/activities from a classroom wishlist each year- it amounts to a few hundred dollars a year total, and is above and beyond the annual budget for those sorts of items (our daycare is part of a chain). The money is not paying for essentials like furnishings and safety items.

[LaraW]

Hi Everyone-

It has been a long time since I have posted. I have just had a lot going on!

Big changes at my house. I quit my job on July 3, and as of this Friday will officially be a SAHM. I was SO unhappy at work, and we finally figured out a way to swing things, at least for now. So, the kiddos are done at their current school on Thursday (my last day of work).

I would still like to do *something* I just don't know what. I have been having a mid-career crisis for the last year or so, and just don't know what I want to do.

So, we are looking at church-based preschools for Natalie and Colin will stay home with me. She will go 2 or 3 mornings a week, and then we will all be here in the afternoons. We have 3 different places we're considering, and go to look at the last one on Weds. Unfortunately the morning program at our first choice is full, and we are still #2 on the waiting list. The afternoon program doesn't work as well for our schedule, so I guess we need to decide if going there is more important, or if mornings are more important.

I really have mixed feelings about all this. I feel bad about taking Natalie away from her friends, and we looked into keeping her in her current place and just switching her to AM's but the tuition was just more than we could afford with me not working. I know she will make new friends, and that she will be fine (I know this in my head, I just keep thinking about it from an adult's perspective). And, I don't know how good of a SAHM I will be :o

But, I am confident that this is the right choice for our family, to get me out of a miserable work situation. :( I don't like feeling like I'm "running away" from something, I prefer to feel like I'm going toward something, if that makes any sense.

Sorry, don't have time for personals right now, just wanted to pop in :)

[lisas3575]

Hi Lara! I was thinking about you this weekend and wondering why you were quiet. Sounds like a busy time for you. Good luck with the transition-- it's a big one for all of you. I'm excited to hear about it as time goes on. I know exactly what you mean by mixed feelings, I'm going through the same thing with moving Owen. :( It's hard. You'll feel better when you see how happy she is with the new situation. Is she excited about you being home?

Congratulations!

[RebeccaT]

((((Lara))))

Congratulations on making such a big decision, one you've clearly thought through to make sure it's right for you and your family! It's so hard to embark on something new, but kids are SO resiliant and supportive, and they will be glad to see their mom happy (vs. in a work situation that was, from the way it sounds, making you very unhappy!). Best of luck with the preschools... that's hard too. But things will fall into place, I am sure.

[gertdog]

Lara, congratulations! Sounds like it has been a tough process but I'm glad you found a way to make it work out with you at home for a while, and you'll have time to think through the "what do I want to do?" question. Good luck with the preschool hunt, too.

[LaraW]

Well, so much for plans. :rolleyes:

So, my last day of work was today (alleluia!). We had a trip to Yellowstone over 4th of July weekend (I gave my notice July 3, the day before we left). When we got home from that trip, I had an email from an agency that does PT staffing and they had a position and was I interested in interviewing for it. I figured I didn't have anything to lose, and I was having all these mixed feelings about staying home that I went ahead and interviewed for it. I found out last Weds that I didn't get it.

Oh well, back to Plan A.

Well, late in the day yesterday I got a phone call that I did get it, if I want it. I thought about it last night and accepted it, so we are not leaving daycare, etc after all. This was hard, because we had prepped Natalie for her last day of school, we made treats to take today, etc. Everything! And now it was for naught. I think that this will be a good move for me professionally, and I will be working a few fewer hours (will go back to 2 days, vs the 2 days the first week, 3 days the next I have been doing).

So. I am taking Tuesday next week off and then will start on Thursday. It is in downtown Denver so I will be riding the bus instead of driving to Boulder every day, so that is good. I will have some reading and/or knitting time there. :)

[lisas3575]

Lara, I had to giggle at your post. :D Congratulations!! When one door closes you never know what window will open up. Good luck with the new position, and let us know how you like it.


I haven't had a chance to post here yet, but I have to share about how much Owen is rockin' the potty. He decided last Friday that he wanted to use the potty, and he's been dry every day since, and most mornings too. This morning I heard him get up and go in the bathroom, and by the time I could get out of bed and in there, he'd taken off his pj bottoms, and diaper, climbed up on the potty and was finishing his business. :D It's so sad what makes me joyful these days. ;)

My guess is that the switch to a daycare with bigger kids using the potty was what motivated him-- Friday is a daycare day and I know he's influenced by older kids in a lot of ways. I'll take it! We're not fully there yet, but it feels good to be on the way.

[mst]

Lara- too funny. Hope this turns out better for you.

Lisa- woo hoo on the potty situation!

Us- no potty-training in sight. Like today, Ilyssa told DH that she wanted to make a poop. He asked her if she wanted to make it on the potty. She said no. I came in later and made an off-hand comment about being surprised that she did not want M&M's (she knows that is her treat). So, she has done peed and pooped on the potty at school many times, and I have never seen her do either. I am trying not to make it an issue, but I am ready to be done. Daycare got me all excited that she was close, and I was thinking of life without diapers.

Funny story though. We had a bunch of neighbors over for pizza the other night, and then we went away for the weekend. We came home, and DH went to use the bathroom, and noticed that there was pee in the potty. He was so excited, and felt badly that we did not make a big deal about it. It sounded fishy to me, Ilyssa can't take off her own diaper. I thought about it, and realized that one of the neighbors kids who is also potty training must have peed in the potty. She is in pull-ups, and also working on PT. How funny is that! Also- kind of gross that it sat in our little potty all weekend.

[mst]

Should our group change titles and become preschoolers?:eek:

[Couperine]

I think you're right about a new title - Ethan is a preschool child, definitely not a toddler anymore. :)

[gertdog]

Yep, I agree too. I went to register Ryan for a few more sessions of swim lessons yesterday. They asked for his birthdate and then said "Oh, after this next session he can join our preschool class."

Me: :eek: :eek: :eek: They grow so fast!

[buffygirl]

Me too. So who wants to be the bold one to start the newly titled thread??? I'm a little sad:o

Kim

[lisas3575]

Ohhhhhh, I am so not ready for that yet. Can we have one more month of older toddlers, please? :(

[mst]

I am Ms. Drag-My-Feet-Through-Motherhood, so I am fine if we stay "older toddlers". In fact, "New Moms" work for me too! I just feel bad that there are so many toddler categories nowadays! Don't let me push us too fast...

[LaraW]

I started an Older Toddlers/Pre-schoolers thread - will that work for now?