Need your best mantras, advice, support, etc.

[Jessica]

Well, it is time for a change. For the past 4.5 years, I've been pregnant, miscarrying, nursing or a combination and I recently weaned DS2. I lost the baby weight with DS1 but got pg right away with DS2 and the weight is not coming off this time--he is almost 15m and so it is no longer baby weight but fat.

I also fell way off the exercise wagon and my eating is OK but I eat too many sweets and not enough veggies. DS2 is just now starting to sometimes sleep through the night--it got so bad around 6m that I was nearly hospitalized for exhaustion. But I try to get enough sleep.

I know many of you live very healthy lifestyles and/or have undergone healthy makeovers. What one piece of advice, or encouragement, would you give? Thanks in advance!

[Robyn1007]

"Don't limit your challenges, challenge your limits."

This is the mantra I go by when I feel like I just can't do something. But, my biggest piece of advice is find an event to train for. A 5k run, a sprint triathlon, a bike ride. Something. Having that goal is huge. And register for it so you've spent the money and feel like you have to do it.

[LaraW]

Jessica, I know that your DH travels a lot for work. Would it be possible to have a babysitter come over 2 or 3 times a week for an hour or two, just so you can get out and be by yourself for a bit? I have an hour each week where both kids are in school and I treasure that hour, and protect it like crazy. You can use that time to work out, read a book, take a walk, etc. Or, if you belong to a gym and they have a childcare center, it might be good to take advantage of that.

Just some ideas. I know how hard it is. Hang in there.

[JenniferJJ]

"I don't want to wear it" is what my favorite WW leader says about food that would make a difference for her.

[testkitchen45]

When I did WW after my last child was born, the WW leader always said, "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels."

Of course, I found a few things that taste quite nice, thank you. Hence my desire to be more frequent on the exercise threads. ;)

Also, when I'm working out with weights & don't think I can do another rep, I picture (now this is really embarrassing, but it helps :o) Linda Hamilton's character in Terminator 2. Remember when she's doing all the pull-ups in her prison cell? It's a very powerful mental image, to envision going from "bingo arms" to toned like that. She was 35 when she made that movie; younger than I am now but not exactly a mid-20's babe, & she still looked great.

I'm no success story, but a work in progress. Hope this helps a little. :)

[SueK]

Someone in the board has a saying on their signature line that I tell myself a lot. I know I'm paraphrasing it, but it's along the lines of "If you always do the same thing, you'll always get the same results".

On those early mornings when it's hard to roll out of bed to work out, I say that to myself as I'm getting into my workout gear. It reminds me that if I just go back to sleep, I can't complain about how I look and feel.

Good luck with your journey. I find posting on the weekly workout threads helps with my accountability. I also put my workout clothes in the bathroom the night before so I just stumble in there and they stare me in the face, just daring me to go back to bed. ;)

[SusanMac]

I'm not a mom so maybe someone else can jump in here, but I've read several stories about the growing trend for stroller moms to get together for workouts together. They meet in parks, run with their strollers, do stationary work (like pushups) and other things that can be done while the kids are in the strollers. That always sounded like such a phenomenal idea to me!

As for getting started, I would say to start small and just do something. 5 pushups. Walk for 10 minutes. It takes several weeks to make it a habit, and possibly more before it starts feeling good. But you've got to start with baby steps and take it from there.

As for mantras....I literally have a few pasted in my office & stationary workout area. DH teased me at first, but they honestly help.

One other idea is to track on a calendar each day that you've done some type of exercise. Just a check mark or star. It feels surprisingly satisfying to look at a month filled with those little stars.

[SusanMac]

I hate it when I kill threads!!

[chazkp]

One thing that has worked well for me is to make one or 2 changes at a time. I find that if I try to change a lot at a time, I just get overwelmed and don't stick with anything. However, if I slowly implement changes and add something new once I am comfortable with a change, I don't get overwelmed and the changes seem to stick better.

I have also found that if I write down my goals or share them with a few close friends or family I am more likely to reach those goals as they seem more real.

[Valerie226]

Pick a couple small but do-able goals. one related to food, the other to exercise. Be very specific. like instead of " eating more vegetables" which is vague, resolve to have a green salad every night as part of dinner.
another could be buy a pedometer ( under $20) and track yourself daily for a week to get an idea of how much you're moving, and then do something, anything to add 1000 steps a day. When you accomplish those things for 2 weeks, reevaluate. Like susanmac said, track yourself on a calendar.
nothing encourages more than success and nothing discourages like failure. so don't set extreme goals you likely can't meet without disrtupting your entire life.

[Linda428]

Robyn1007, I love this: "Don't limit your challenges, challenge your limits."

There are a few things that I always tell my classes/clients and that is "nothing changes if nothing changes". And, the definition of insanity is always doing the same thing, but expecting different results. Similarly to what SueK wrote is....If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you always got....

At the gym where I do personal training, we're doing a program called "I Lost It At The Gym". I have found that the people who write down everything they eat are doing the best. Some of them had/have no idea what the caloric content of their favorites foods are, and now that they know, they are making better choices. One of the ladies on my team said that a WW leader told her once: "If you bite it, you write it".

I spoke with an RD just recently and she recommended the Mifflin-St Jeor Equation. This equation will give you the approximatey number of calories you need every day. If you goggle Mifflin-St Jeor, you will find some good info. Here's a good website: http://www.diet-blog.com/archives/2005/12/26/how_to_calculate_your_daily_calorie_needs.php

I love reading threads like this, because you all give such great advice....this helps me to help my clients...

[Kerri]

Hey Jessica -

I also found that the weight didn't come off as easily from baby#2. I kept waiting for it to, but finally I had to just do something about it. With my current schedule, I knew that I wasn't going to be able to commit to an excercise program. I do what I can, I wish I could do more, but it is better this way then to make goals and feel bad when I can't finish them. Also, I had never really lost weight by excercising. I decided this time to focus on my eating. I used sparkpeople, which is just a way to count calories. My mantra...

"this is only for a short time!"

By counting calories I learned that eating the crust off of James sandwiches wasn't helping, but the big problem for me was the time after dinner at 6 and when I went to bed at 11. I just choose different foods to fit in my calorie range. It took about 3 weeks to drop about 5 pounds, and then I stopped being so strict about counting calories, but by using what I learned in that first three weeks (and stopping breast feeding) I lost another 5 pounds and am back to my pre-pregnancy weight.

I was really hungry for those first three weeks though.

However, knowing that it wasn't going to last forever, much like the crises of the new baby phase, really helped keep me going.

Good luck to you!

[Robyn1007]

However, knowing that it wasn't going to last forever, much like the crises of the new baby phase, really helped keep me going.

Good luck to you!

That's interesting because for me, I cannot look at it as temporary. This is a lifestyle change not a temporary fix.

And, I agree, start small. Pick a couple of goals and get them under control then add another couple and so on. If I'd started a year ago aiming for what I am now I'd have given up after a few weeks.

[SusanPC]

Jessica:

I have an 11 month old, and I did IVF to get her (with a m/c in there)...which helped pack on some lbs. I was at my all time high weight when I got pregnant. I joined the WW threads too many times to count but always had an excuse as to why I wasn't succeeding. I don't think I was ever fully committed.

Anyways, sortof on a whim on inauguration day I went for a consult at Jenny Craig (I know....kinda embarrassing to admit on a cooking BB :o ) and signed up for 10 weeks for $20. My 10 weeks was up on Weds of this week and I was down 19 lbs. I now have 15 to go to goal, and 20 to get to what I weighed in college.

Someone mentioned your Dh travels a lot. Mine does too. I find it is really easy (and brainless) after a long day with my daughter to not have to think about what I am eating.

I am also exercising but still not hardcore. I am working on getting more regular about it. I have to say, though, that as I try on clothes I haven't worn in a couple of years....I feel like a completely new person. I wish I had committed before now.

I am in no way affiliated with JC, but I'd recommend it. I don't really see it as a "quick fix." I've managed to lose while pretty much eating and drinking whatever I want on the weekends when my DH is home. It is huge in teaching portion control which I knew, but chose to ignore.

Sorry for the book....hope my exp. may help a tiny bit.

[Jessica]

Thanks for all of your advice and suggestions. I've reread this several times and am on my way...I checked out some new workout DVDs and have been working out during naptime or after the kids go to bed. I am eating more veggies and working on the sweet tooth.

I really want these to be permanent changes and so I am taking it slow and thinking of it as one good decision at a time.

[HejazSunKat]

That's interesting because for me, I cannot look at it as temporary. This is a lifestyle change not a temporary fix.


Yeah, I totally agree. I was having a rambling conversation with my trainer recently where we were talking about the choices we are making to age well and healthfully vs. some of our peers and she said something that has stuck in my head "This is just how I want to live". She and I are around the same age which is one thing I love about having her for my trainer - she 'gets' where I'm at. I'm 49 and many of my acquaintances are having emerging health problems because of their lifestyle choices for the past few decades. I was on the same road until I had a mild health crisis a year ago (chicken pox at 48) that galvanized me to take better care of myself. Not like I'm any expert Jessica but my best piece of advice is be consistent. However many times a week you've decided to exercise (and pick something you enjoy) just get out there and do it. The benefits you will reap will surprise you. You will get addicted to it, crave it. I've also found that because I feel good physically it has changed my confidence level, brightened my moods and consequently the way I interact with people. I don't look at my activity as having an end date - this is just my life, this is just the way I want to live. Another thing Mary said to me early on in our partnership is that when I walked through the doors of the gym this was my time. We all have so many, many demands on us, especially a busy mom like you, you deserve to have some time just for you. You will be a better mom for it and what a great example your healthy lifestyle will be for your kids.

[TKay]

Adding to something Linda just mentioned, dh and I look at our health and fitness as not just being for us. We look at it as modeling for our children. That's not to say we are the perfect role models by any stretch. But there are days when I really don't feel like working out. I'll tell my kids that what I really want to do is just lay down and watch TV, but instead, I'm going to get on that treadmill and get my exercise because it's the best thing for me. I hope that they will somehow absorb some of that discipline and resolution so that when they are faced with similar choices, they'll choose activity over being sedentary.

I also had trouble losing the weight after baby #2. In fact, I didn't have much of a weight issue at all before kids. Now, I have to remain mindful of it or the pounds really add up. One suggestion for a workout that I'd recommend is taking weights with you when you walk the kids around the neighborhood or to the park. I used to carry small handweights with me and place one in the stroller, keeping one in my hand. I'd do bicep curls with one arm and push the stroller with the other. Then I'd switch. When we'd stop to look at something, I'd do bent-over rows. Doing multiple reps with small weights will really tone your arms and make you feel like you're getting somewhere.

Another piece of advice is to be patient. Your body has gone through a lot of changes. The fact that you're not sleeping well isn't helping. Be kind to yourself and don't expect miracles overnight.

Oh, and one more thing. If eating is a big issue, you might want to check out this book from your library: The Beck Diet Solution: Train Your Brain to Think Like a Thin Person by Judith S. Beck. There was a thread on this book for some time on this bb. It really does help you change your relationship with food.

Good luck and hang in there. Post updates and check in when you feel like it.

[Jessica]

Thanks for all the additional comments. I definitely want to set a good example for my boys. My parents and MIL are in their 60s and early 70s and all exercise regularly and watch what they eat. They are fairly healthy for their age group and I hope to have them around a long time!

[Robyn1007]

Thanks for all the additional comments. I definitely want to set a good example for my boys. My parents and MIL are in their 60s and early 70s and all exercise regularly and watch what they eat. They are fairly healthy for their age group and I hope to have them around a long time!

This is a really good point. I have a neighbor who I've always been friendly with but I just had a longer conversation with her. In the course of the conversation she told me she's 63. I know she does very little exercise and it shows. She's the same age as my dad but looks 20 years older. At 63 my dad can ride circles around me on his bike. I mean he's probably twice as fast as me. (Although I'm finally beating him down the mountain on skis!) I want to be like my dad when I reach that age, I do not want to be someone that it looks painful to walk much less run/bike/swim or whatever is my fitness of choice at that age.

[mrswaz]

I wanted to add to this thread and say that I was in the exact same place just over a year ago, only my youngest was almost 4, and it was obvious that the baby weight was no longer just going to magically fall off. For me, I have to say, while I dabble in real exercising from time to time, I just don't have the gumption to stick with it. As a busy mom, I would much rather use that energy to play a game of tag or dodgeball with the kids, or chase their kite for them, or go up and down the sledding hill a dozen times. The point being that if I spend 45 minutes exercising in the morning, I don't want to do the active mommy stuff, and that's so much more important to me- plus, it is a workout, just a different kind.

I also had to ban myself from making sweets. It wasn't so much buying a pack of oreos or bringing home ice cream as it was that because I cook, I can just whip up a batch of cookies or a chocolate cake without hardly thinking about it. I could rationalize all I wanted by saying the cookies were for the kids, but the reality is that I am the one who eats most of the sweets. The kids eat a cookie or two and then don't give them a second thought. Me? I'm at the cookie jar all day long if they're there. That was the biggest change for me. I stopped making sweets unless we were having company, and simply by not having that banana bread around every morning, or those cookies too much on made a drastic difference.

I also became a little more aware of calories and where they came from. For example, if I knew I wanted a glass of wine with dinner later that day, I skipped some calories earlier in the day by forgoing a handful of chips or deciding not to have that snack mid-day. But I certainly wasn't a Nazi about it either, I just was more aware, really. After a while, after cutting out most of the sweets and observing where my excess calories were coming from, I found that I could successfully just eat one Oreo and be happy. (Honest!) Probably most importantly though, I learned big time that finishing up those last few bites on my kids plates was dooming me to that extra weight for forever. So I stopped doing that too.

Anyway, the whole point here is that it is very possible just by checking your eating habits. Sure exercise will help, and I may have lost weight sooner had I taken to it, but you don't HAVE to hop on a treadmill or pop on a pair of cross-country skis to do it. You can simply run around with your kids- it's still exercise. It's exercise when I have to dash up and down the stairs twenty times because DD can't find something. In 2007, at my annual exam, I weighed 179, and in 2008, at the same time of the year, I weighed in at 155, and I've been holding steady. My baby #2 weight is gone, and I attribute it completely to eating better.

[healthnut09]

I have found this to be so helpful. Do fun exercise like kids (jump rope, biking etc.) There is no limit! Instead of feeling limited with eating, just change the way you eat. Eat veggies before a meal and switch out the sweets for a healthier alternative. Maybe dark chocolate instead of "candy", frozen yogurt for ice cream etc.
:)
Check out this article: How to Kill Your Sweet Tooth
Losing weight can be very difficult if you are someone who has a raging sweet tooth. You know how it goes, you ate well all day long and then you get a hankering for just a little something extra after dinner. Or other times you just want a piece of cake or cookie and will eat everything else in sight to fill that vote. Sugar habits are tough to kick, but not impossible.

The truth is, the more sugar you eat the more you want. And sugar isn't always in the most obvious places. That white bread you had for lunch good be the cause of your mid-day craving for a candy bar. The pasta you have for dinner could also be to blame. Every time you give into a craving, you contribute to the habit. Caving will only temporarily silence your sugar beast. It will always want more.

There isn't one single solution to this problem and your first step is being aware of its sabotaging effects. Many times you may feel like you want to eat something sweet, but you may not actually want it. How many times have you indulged in sweets only to eat so much that you stop enjoying it? Chances are you could cut back with just a few tastes until you are satisfied. If you tell yourself "no, you can never have sugar" then you will only want sugar. You have to change your mindset to "I can have sugar, but I don't want it right now" once you allow yourself to have it you are much less likely to want it.

Each time that you start a new diet you are excited and dedicated to losing weight. You're going to be strict this time and make it through to the finish line. Then, as soon as it starts and you're momentum is going, you want sugar right this second! You cave and then get derailed. And the cycle begins. Next time, instead of feeling guilty for an occasional small treat, learn to savor the experience and you will find that just a few bites or even half of what you normally would want is all you need.

Typically cravings only last for a couple of minutes so all you have to do is wait it out. Sometimes you will have a quick craving right after eating. Your food has not had a chance to trigger that you are full so always give yourself 15 minutes before eating anything again. Every craving that you learn to ignore you will become stronger, instead of caving every time you will learn that they lessen over time.

Learn to talk yourself or distract yourself out of a craving. Every time you want something sweet just tell yourself "I realize that this is my body's reaction to stress or what I just ate and it will pass, I don't really want something sweet" and reward yourself everyday for not eating a sugary treat. You could give yourself a dollar a day and use that money to treat yourself with a new outfit or a pedicure at the end of the month. Save your sweet indulgences to no more than once a week and you will find that you are less likely to have cravings.

[Jessica]

You all were so encouraging that I thought I would report my progress.

I am now working out consistently every other day with a DVD, and I participate a little on the at-home workout thread. I try to get in a long walk on one of the off days, too. My goal is to get to 4-5 workouts per week but even with 3-4 I am feeling more energetic.

I am focusing on eating more veggies and fruits, and the only thing I let myself munch off my kids' plates are vegetables and fruits.

Sweets...it is better, but not great. That is my next project.

I have a diet/exercise buddy, and I am reading the Beck book and starting her plan. I find her behavioral approach helpful because I used similar psychology to help with my depression, but her program requires a time and energy commitment that this mom of two toddlers does not have! So, I am taking it slowly and incorporating as much of her advice as I can.

The scale isn't moving yet, but I have more energy and I think that is slowly helping me conquer the bad eating habits. I really appreciate everyone's ideas and support. :D

[Robyn1007]

First, Jessica, great job on getting started! That's really the hardest part.

I'm really excited to re-start my organic produce deliver once I get moved next month as I found it really helped me get more veggies in my diet.

About the scale. I found that when I got started I really didn't loose quickly to start with because I wasn't making drastic cuts and I was exercising so my body was adjusting and adding muscle. But, I promise you, your body is improving and you'll start to see it eventually if you just keep plugging away. I've read that it takes 3 weeks to start creating a habit. I've been at this over a year (:eek:) and I'm loosing slowly but at a rate where when I hit my goal weight I know I'll be able to maintain because it will just be part of my lifestyle. I could go through more drastic dietary changes but then when I reach my goal I wouldn't know how to balance.

You really can do this. Think small. If you're standing there waiting for the microwave do some calf raises. Hanging out with the kiddos watching tv? Get on the floor and do a few crunches. It doesn't seem like much but I really believe it helps convince your brain that it needs to keep burning fuel.

[lindrusso]

Jessica - Sounds like you are doing really well. I really admire your commitment to doing it at home. I had a really hard time doing that when the kids were little.

Even now that they are older, I still find it very hard to work out at home! I'm so easily distracted........ :rolleyes:

I think your approach is very wise. If you do it slowly and really take your time with each part of it, it's much more likely to "stick". If your goal is an overall lifestyle approach - as opposed to just weight loss - you'll be much more likely to stick with it, especially during times when the scale isn't moving.

This is the first time EVER that I have not focused on the scale as my primary reason for working out. I do want to lose weight, but my focus is on getting exercise and improving my running, not on what the scale is or is not doing. So while it's a bit frustrating that I haven't seen much weight loss, since it's the exercise and lifestyle I'm focusing on (because it's just plain good for me), I haven't been nearly as discouraged as I have been in the past. In the past, I would have given up out of frustration by now. This is a pretty big deal for me - something I always knew in the back of my mind was the best approach but something I never really fully embraced.

Anyway....continued success with your workout goals! :)

[TKay]

Jessica - Thanks for the report. Sounds like you're doing everything right. I think taking baby steps is key. Get one habit solidly in place before moving on. Congrats!

I'm with you as far as getting more fresh fruits and veggies in the diet. I'm making a commitment to visiting our farmer's market on Saturday mornings during summer. Tomorrow's the first trip. Robyn's delivery sounds intriguing. Wonder if they have that around here.

Enough about me. Great thoughts to you! I think the best part is that even with small kids, you are making an effort to put yourself on the to-do list. That's huge. :D