Summer 2009 Toddler Thread [Archive] - CookingLight.com Community

Kerri

06-03-2009, 01:33 PM

Me: Kerri
DH: Mark
James: 2 3/4
Andy: almost 1 year

Thanks for getting us started, Maria. It is good to have a toddler thread again. The biggest thing going on here is major potty training. We have really been on the right track and with my school being over, plus James's school being over, I have decided that we are just done with diapers. If we are home, James is naked, but he wears underpants at all other times except sleeping. It has gone well, I really think he was ready. I mean, we have accidents, but they aren't really a big deal. I think I was stressing James out by asking him all the time if he had to go and had a little strike last week. This week, with the naked, I just put his little potty in our main living room and just remind him from time to time that is where it is. Like most major transitions, it has turned out to not be as big of a deal as I thought it would be. So, how do you know when you are done potty training? ;)

In other news, summertime is super fun with toddlers. We went to a playgroup with a bunch of water toys and James had a great time. It really seems like you pay for that fun later with them being extra tired and more tantrums. Anyone else experience this?

TLee4

06-04-2009, 09:58 AM

Me: Terri 37
DH: Dan 39
DS: Joey: turned 3 on Tues
DS: John-Paul, 22 mos

Hi Maria and Kerri. Yes, hard to believe they are 3!! We had a wonderful b-day on Tues. We went to Chuck E. Cheese (just our family) and also took a tour of the local fire station, which the kids loved.

We had some recent bedtime battles too. Still not perfect by far but I really toughened up and the shennanigans are decreased. My main threats: closing his door (he hates that) and a threat of "no Diego and juice" tomorrow morning, which is his 6am ritual. So far I haven't actually had to withhold Diego!! Oh, and Joey still migrates to our bed around 4am every day. I don't really care though.

We are pretty much done with PT, although he does still have the rare accident. We do pull-ups at night. He wakes up dry about 80% of the time.

Other than that, life is good. Can't wait to see baby pics, Maria!

Terri

p.s. is everyone still napping? Joey is crazed by late afternoon if he doesn't nap, but I try to keep the naps to about 90 min in order to keep bedtime on track.

Bawstinn

06-04-2009, 10:42 AM

Madeleine refused to wear a diaper one night a month or so ago because she is a 'big girl'. She was waking up dry 98% of the time anyway - it was more my not wanting to chance it. We had one problem, one night, since then.

We are having some issues where she waits too long to go and then makes a mad dash for the bathroom. Funny thing, she'll be in the basement (finished, so there is a bathroom down there) but she will go all the way to the 2nd floor to go to the bathroom. :confused: It isn't like she is going to her bathroom either, she'll go into the master bath and then I'll find the panties on the floor.

Dropped Madeleine off at daycare this morning with her cupcakes and she was proudly wearing her birthday crown when I left. Dave's parents come in tonight and I got a cake to have with them.

Induction set for Saturday morning - :eek:

We took her in for some pictures last Sunday - this one is one of my favorites.

http://i97.photobucket.com/albums/l223/Bawstinn/Madeleine3yrs.png

Terri - she still takes naps at daycare from 12:30 - 2:30 every day. I believe that still continues in the preschool room when she moves there. There have been a few days on the weekend where she hasn't gotten a nap and then by 4 she is a mess and falls asleep where she is - which then means she won't go to bed at 7:30. When we are home I really try and make sure she doesn't miss a nap - it really isn't worth it!

TLee4

06-04-2009, 11:52 AM

Beautiful pic of Madeleine!
Good luck on Sat!!

We have those mad dashes to the bathroom too, as well as what I call "potty malfunctions" where he is on the potty but the pee pee goes elsewhere!!

SooCookie

06-04-2009, 01:30 PM

Me: Michelle 31
DH: 32
DD: Kayla turned 3 on 5/31
DS: Ben 9 months on Monday

Yay for the toddler thread! Thanks Maria! And what a beautiful picture of Madeleine!

I am so glad you mentioned sleep issues. I thought it was just us. Kayla is also up during the night and frequently doesn't fall asleep until 10:30/11ish. I don't know what to do. I thought maybe it was due to the nap, but when she doesn't nap she is a mess by night time. When she does, we have to deal with the bedtime "shennanigans" (thanks, Terri!). I also have gotten tough, but most nights, it doesn't seem to deter her from getting out of her room. Done the no juice, done the no Lucky Charms (yuck - but her favorite cereal), taken all her animal friends away, I just don't know what to do about it anymore. Kayla also hates her door being closed, maybe I should try that one more often.

On the positive side, potty training is going very well. We had a bit of an issue with #2, but it all seems to be worked out now. I thought I was going to loose my mind, but in hindsight, it really wasn't that bad. Just like you said, Kerri. She is also in Pull Ups at night and for naps, and most of the time they are pretty full, so I don't think we are quite there yet.

Well, glad to see you are all still out there! Here is a picture of my kiddos.

http://photos-b.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs004.snc1/4408_1179341366388_1313771416_486745_5528517_n.jpg

TLee4

06-04-2009, 02:06 PM

Michelle,
Your "babies" are beautiful!
Re: the door closing thing, I found that I had to be willing to hang around (basically outside his door) for a while. The stupid thing is that I have no desire for his door to be closed, but it seems to be a good "consequence". So if I close it he will try to open it but he realizes I am there so he backs off. Then once I go downstairs he opens it again :D so he feels like he wins, but since he then stays in his room, I win! :)

(One time during a nap he came out and said "I pooped in my pants". I asked him why and he said "because you were out there"..I guess that my technique for making him afraid to come out of the room worked too well in that case!!)

Terri

sugarbaby

06-04-2009, 02:25 PM

Me & DH: 32
DSs 1 & 2, David & Jonathan: 2 1/2

Thanks, Maria, for getting us started! Good luck on Sat.! I love all the pictures of everyone's kiddos!

It has been a VERY challenging month with one of my boys, but things seem to have evened out over the past few days. Crazy insane long-lasting tantrums, not sleeping at night (they're getting their final molars), and one of my boys decided to play hide-and-seek, only I didn't know he was hiding and I wasn't looking for him until DH said, "Where's David?" :eek: We ran outside up and down the streets, looked in the pantry, laundry room, etc. It was the most frightening 2 min. of my life! (especially since he can open doors now, and our front door was unlocked) We finally found him sitting quietly in the toy closet under the stairs, just hanging out and sucking his thumb.

Potty-training question - how do you know when they're ready? We've been sitting them on the potty, but they're not terribly interested, and I'm just not sure they're ready. They don't wake up dry...ever. Should we just hold off on it? TIA.

TLee4

06-05-2009, 07:14 AM

Hi Sugar. Sorry about the challenging month. I haven't experienced long-lasting tantrums, although JP definitely seems to have more of a temper than Joey did. Whenever he gets at all frustrated he starts hitting me. (Occasionally hits Dan or Joey but mostly I'm the lucky one). So far I just stick him in the corner or in the pack n play, and a minute later he will happily say "sorry Mommy. Kiss?"

Re: potty-training, I'm no expert either. Joey was pretty easy at the start. Have you tried incentives like stickers or m&m's or anything like that? That might make them more excited about it.

Terri

NewMrsG

06-05-2009, 09:53 AM

Me: Jori 39
DH: 42 next month
DD: Macy, 3 on 6/18

Potty training. So hard! Macy absolutely "gets it", but is so stubborn that she digs her heels in and refuses when she isn't in the mood. :rolleyes: She also refuses to poop in the potty - did you notice this with your kiddos too? We're trying not to push her. Stickers were helpful for a while and we've now moved on to telling her that if she poops she can have a play-dough set that we let her pick out. How do you handle situations where you can't get her to a bathroom quickly? Like if we're in the car for 90 minutes?

She's otherwise doing great. So, so funny - I just love the things she says. I need to make arrangements for having pictures taken. Any experiences with The Picture People? I'm thinking of trying them.

I love the pictures of the kids Michelle and Maria!

I also think I'm not going to throw an actual birthday party for Macy. We are flying out to my mom's next week (assuming I'm well enough - see the pregnancy thread for details), and we'll do something family-oriented there. My in-laws, who are local, wouldn't come (don't ask). Macy is also transitioning at daycare, so we'd either have to pick just a couple of kids from there, which I'd feel funny about, especially since a couple of kids in her two's classroom had parties recently where they invited everyone, or would have to invite kids from both classrooms, which would be potentially 30 kids. And our friends all have kids who are older, so I'm stressed out by the idea of having to think of things to entertain a wide age range. Plus she just doesn't need 20 more toys. So I think we're going to let her invite 1-2 friends to take to the zoo for the day and have a birthday cake. She'd really love that and it would be low-key. Am I a terrible, lazy mom?

SooCookie

06-05-2009, 11:18 AM

Maria, how did I miss that you are having your baby this weekend???!!! Congratulations, and good luck!

Re: knowing when they are ready to be potty trained. I used some advice that our pediatrician gave us. He said to give the child a choice in the morning what they want to wear, diapers or underwear. And make it so that the underwear are more easily accessed than the diapers. Kayla did this a couple times, telling me that she wanted to wear underwear, but was having an insane amount of accidents. So I didn't give her the choice for a couple weeks after each time we tried. Finally on the third try, she went all day without an accident, so I knew she was ready. The 2nd day was ok, but the third day she told me she wanted to wear diapers again. I told he no since I knew from the past two days experience that she was capable. So we gave all of her diapers to her little brother, who conveniently is in the same size as her (I know, he is huge at 9 months!).

NewMrsG, how horrible that you were in an accident! I am glad that everyone is relatively unharmed, especially considering how much worse it could have been! I hope you are feeling better soon, and don't feel guilty about Macy's party. I think your plan sounds wonderful! And most importantly, she would love it.

TLee4

06-05-2009, 11:42 AM

Jori, sorry about your accident!

We never had any issue about not wanting to poop in the potty (although I know it is common). But when we were having accidents, I said that we would buy something special and we would get to play with it once there had been a whole day with no accidents. He picked out finger paints at the store. It took a week or two before he got to use them!!'

No real b-day party here either. In fact we are just "celebrating" with various family members when we see them, which is equalling out to 3 cakes for Joey! Here is a pic from his actual b-day. You will see that my "Diego cake" is quite lame but he loved it and helped make it.

http://i262.photobucket.com/albums/ii91/tleexiv/439265209705_0_ALB.jpg

Bawstinn

06-05-2009, 04:03 PM

Any experiences with The Picture People? I'm thinking of trying them.

Madeleine's pictures were done at The Picture People. We have always had good results with them.

MinEaston

06-05-2009, 04:07 PM

Quick post to wish Maria good luck tomorrow and we'll look forward to the report from the "other side."

ellery

06-10-2009, 08:53 AM

Just a quick slacker post since I'm slammed at work but have a question. I promise I'll do a proper post later where I actually say hi. (fingers crossed)

Can't wait to hear about Maria and the newest little one, by the way. :D

So my BIL is getting married at the end of August and his bride to be has requested that Danny (just turned two end of March) be a ring bearer, along with her nephew, the same age. Complete with tux, walking down the aisle, etc. Naturally the wedding is at 2 pm, which is right in the middle of Danny's naptime. I'm thinking he's just out of luck that day, since there will probably be pictures before the wedding and all kinds of shenanigans after the wedding, and I really shudder to think what he'll be like with no nap. He typically naps 12:30/1 - 3:30/4/5:00 (depending on the day, and I really REALLY love those days of 4 hour naps, especially since he still goes to bed at the same time).

He's a pretty normal toddler, with normal toddler angst. He had a little chorus recital at daycare last week, and as soon as he walked in the chapel and saw me, he was done. We watched the recital together. ;) He had no interest in getting up on the stage with his friends, and to be honest, not many of the kids in his class (I think 2 out of 9) actually participated in the show. Everyone was either on a staff member's lap or their parent's lap. Even some of the older kids were freaked out by the whole thing. It was actually kind of funny - you had sobbing kid standing next to bouncing up and down kid, all the while, very little actual singing going on.

I really don't think Danny is going to go for this wedding thing at all. Even if we can manage to wrangle him into his tux, I think he's going to be overwhelmed by everything and is not going to want to do anything the grownups are hoping he will (e.g. standing still for family pics unless I'm in them and holding him), especially walking down the aisle by himself.

Anyone have any experience with this or advice?

TLee4

06-10-2009, 08:59 AM

Hi Leah. When I got married (11 years ago this Sat :)) I had my 3 nieces in the wedding. One of them was 18 mos old. She actually walked down the aisle just fine. My nephew was the same age and I think he actually walked in holding his dad's hand, which was fine.

But my thought is that no one can actually expect that a 2-yr-old will cooperate, but as long as she is fine with that possibility then just go for it.

Terri

MinEaston

06-10-2009, 01:01 PM

Hi Leah;

What Tlee said is spot-on. As long as the bride doesn't have (unreasonable) expectations that Danny will do this willingly, I'd say OK. But the bride really needs to hear (and hopefully, accept) that havnig a cooperative 2YO when it's usually naptime is, well, a challenge. Maybe she'll already have heard it from her nephew's parents.

Kerri

06-10-2009, 01:44 PM

Leah - my cousin recently got married and had my sister's 3 year old son and 18 month old daughter in the wedding. (she also asked for my 2 year old, but we also had a 3 month old so we declined) The 18 month old rode in a wagon and did fine. The 3 year old had a meltdown. Video of this incident here (http://wholovesmath.blogspot.com/2008/10/sothere-was-incident.html).

It just depends on the type of person your kids is. At 2 years, your son will probably do ok with no nap, although will probably be cranky.

That was good times though...

ellery

06-10-2009, 06:29 PM

Kerri, thanks for posting the video. I'm pretty sure that I'll be posting one just like it sometime late August. ;)

Oh well. The bride to be is officially warned and we'll just see what happens. :D

SooCookie

06-11-2009, 12:12 PM

Well, since we are posting birthday cake pictures.... :rolleyes::cool:

http://photos-d.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs015.snc1/4217_1177385077482_1313771416_479747_1098100_n.jpg

http://photos-f.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs015.snc1/4217_1177385157484_1313771416_479749_6632405_n.jpg
(anyone have any ideas on how to nix the thumb-sucking?)

As you can tell, I made a cupcake cake that I copied from here: http://cupcakestakethecake.blogspot.com/2008/10/tinkerbell-cupcake-cake.html
While it doesn't look anything like what I wanted it to, I was pretty happy with the results.

Leah, I have no experience with the wedding thing, but just want to sympathize about the no nap thing. I am very strict about the kids' naps and when they don't get one, I think I stress more than the kids.

lbd

06-14-2009, 07:52 PM

Congratulations Maria!! Wow, things happen when a person doesn't log in for months at a time.

Me: Lorien, 35
DH: 37
DS: Ben, was 3 on May 24th
DD: Abby, 8 months

I truly can't remember the last time I logged in, has been at least a month but quite possibly 2 or more. Not sure what's been going on that I've been so out of it but we're hanging in there with everything. Abby has been taunting me with sleeping through the night but is mainly waking to eat in the wee hours - long before I need to get up but close enough to DH's waking and daylight to make it nearly impossible for me to fall asleep again. So I've been feeling like a zombie a bunch lately.

We had a family party for Ben's 3rd. Jori - don't even begin to feel guilty about skipping a big to-do. There will be plenty of years to come in which parties will be more or less a necessity but I say keep it low-key as long as you can. My ILs were here for a very long weekend and we had a cookout on Ben's big day, a Thomas cake from BJ's which he loved and is still talking about.

I actually logged on to look up some old potty training threads. I'm getting ready to start being more active about it now that summer is here. We've got big-boy underpants, a box of peppermint patties for rewards, and I just ordered a travel potty seat to carry around. (We had one time at the outlet mall when he wanted to go but got a little scared about the big toilet.) I think he's ready, he knows when he needs to go and we talk about it all the time. Our main issue is the same as for eating and many other things - he just doesn't want to interrupt his playing to go do it.

Interesting to read about the tantrums and sleep issues. We're having discipline issues as well -- think they're all typical 3 year old stuff but I swear this kid can see the silver lining in anything. I finally took the bed out of his room because he wouldn't/couldn't stop chewing on the wood. It wasn't intended as punishment but I thought it would at least be a negative consequence, right? Oh no, he started raving about how "wonderful" it was before the durn thing was even out the door. Turns out having a mattress on the floor is 3 year old heaven. Yesterday, we put all the trains and legos in timeout because he bit his dad and he immediately starting happily playing with his toolbox. Yeesh!

Kerri

06-14-2009, 08:13 PM

I forgot to mention our issues with sleeping. We were having a big problem: not napping/getting up REALLY early. I just really starting tweaking his schedule. Up by 7am(rather then letting him sleep till whenever) down for nap 1:30-2(instead of 12:30-1), wake him up from nap by 4(if he did take a nap, he would sleep FOREVER...see he did need a nap), moved his bedtime back to 8pm(instead of 7:30, kept it at 7:30 if no nap). Sometimes by playing around with the schedule, it helps. Now I think he is going through a growth spurt, because he is sleeping all the time!!

Lorien - a thing about boys and potty training, the world is really their potty. I think what got James's interest is when the weather got warmer and he would go pee pee in a bush. I mean, is that fun or what?!?!

I also wanted to say sorry for my negative nancy wedding post. It wasn't my kid, so I thought it was funny/cute; however, the parents are both extroverts and I think my nephew is an introvert. Sometimes I think they just don't understand him. As for the no nap, I am also a nap nazi, just as my son gets older it is such a relief to know that if he does have to miss a nap, it is doable, same for Danny.

So, we are dealing with fears. Somehow James started saying anytime he had a tantrum, "I got scared!" I mean, how can you not melt at that. Well, the 30th time I asked, "are you scared you aren't going to get to watch your show?" "yeaaaaahhhhhh" Ahh. Well, ok then. Lately though, he keeps saying he is scared of the monkey. He saw some sort of primate at the zoo being very active and LOUD. He watched it for awhile and then it frightened him. This was last fall. We went to the zoo in the last few weeks and although we didn't spend any time around this primate, he heard it and is now afraid it is going to come here.

I think was is hard about this age is that you don't know what is a genuine emotion, and what they just remember you reacting to and getting attention from. We just explain to him that monkey's are actually very funny and they can't get out of their cage or into our house.

Anyways, here is a picture of James:

http://i117.photobucket.com/albums/o79/wirrek/2009-kids/DSC03860.jpg

amcleod

06-18-2009, 08:01 AM

Hey everyone! It's been a long time!

me: ann, 38
dh: 38
DS: michael, 3 on Saturday

Like everyone said, how in the world did our kids get to be 3?! WOW time really flies. I also love this age. Michael is such a good boy. He is excited to turn 3 and have a party. Which is just in our backyard with a couple other families with kids his age. I think including Michael they'll be 6 kids. Much to my shock, the in-laws are coming down for the party too. I didn't invite anyone from daycare...i figure he can party with them at school. I think this year and maybe next are going to be the last times we'll be able to get away from that.

Somehow potty training for us is complete. I really think it has more to do with him being in daycare, though. Long story short...when he transitioned into the 2-year-old room they immediately started potty training. Looking back, he really wasn't ready and it seemed like it was never going to happen. We had some major shuffling around of teachers at school and the one old-school teacher, who'd say every night when we left, "Michael don't forget to use the potty!" got transferred out of his class...then wham, he was potty trained! I think the pressure was off and he decided that he'd do it. And then all of the sudden he started peeing standing up. He still wets at night half the time so he is in diapers at night. I take zero credit for any of this potty training so I have no advice for the rest of you unfortunately! But the freedom of it all is wonderful!

We went on a cruise last week and michael loved it. When we left he said, "I want stay on the big boat! I no go home! I stay on big boat!" It was so cute. I totally recommend a cruise vacation...they had a kids program with lots of activities so we were able to have some downtime too.

Otherwise, it is so interesting to read everyone else's posts and see that the same things are happening with all our kids! Michael who was always a good sleeper has been waking up a couple times a night too. Last night was the first night in a week that he didn't wake up.

Photos: we've used picture people before and they were ok. I tried a new place last time called Clix...they have studios nationwide and are truly AWESOME. the greatest photos...hopefully they have a location near you...they're not as big as picture people. www.clixportraitstudios.com

well this got way long and i have a meeting - great catching up with everyone!

ellery

07-10-2009, 07:43 AM

It's been quiet here, so hopefully that means that all is well in Toddlerland. (Or Land of the Whimsical Dictator, as I refer to it in my house)

I just wanted to get some tantrum feedback. I'm pretty sure I know the answer, but it's nice to have validation and feedback in this uncharted territory. :)

A friend lent me "Girlfriend's Guide to Toddlers (http://www.amazon.com/Girlfriends-Guide-Toddlers-Vicki-Iovine/dp/039952438X) recently and I've just finished it (and highly recommend it), and she had some interesting things to say about tantrums. I've re-lent it to another mom, so I can't look up the exact words, but she discussed the difference between the manipulative tantrums and the frustration tantrums. The latter ones being the ones that happen when the kid is tired, hungry, frustrated, nothing is going right for them, and has just experienced the last straw of a) not being allowed to eat gummy bears for dinner b) being told that he's getting no more tractor rides because it's dinner or c) not being allowed to take his favorite bear into the bath with him. (My examples :D ). She pointed out that the frustration tantrums are the ones where their brain has completely short circuited, fuses blown, no signals being received... and your job is to just sit with them and reassure them that it's okay, they're okay, etc.

For about the past two weeks Danny has had a little meltdown almost every night (weeknights, when he's had a full day at daycare) usually between 6:45 and 7:30, dinner and bathtime. They're not too bad, and don't last too long, and usually come upon me like a tornado. He's happy and smiling one minute and them BOOM, he's insane. My response is always to remain calm, remind him that no, he still cannot have gummy bears/popsicles/M&M's for dinner, and if he doesn't chill out I whisk him upstairs to start bathtime preparations since he's obviously tired and has lost his mind. He's in control enough to swat at me, hear me tell him "no hitting, do you want a time out? [no!]" and stop hitting. (I can see his little brain working, searching for some way to express just how ticked off and frustrated he is, especially now that I've just removed one of the options). It's sad and just a little amusing at the same time because I feel bad for him and can relate to having days like that. I'm just not allowed to have tantrums anymore when I feel the same way.

This is normal, right? I can't think of anything that I'm doing different, nothing in our household has changed, his activity level at school hasn't changed, he's still getting a fairly good nap at school, and I don't think I'm doing anything to encourage these tantrums. But I feel sorta stupid when I have to recount Danny's day to DH and am wondering if I'm doing something that I don't realize to contribute to the problem.

As far as I can tell, I remain (relatively) calm in the situation, continue to set and enforce limits, try to remember that I'm the identified adult, etc. DH seems to think that I should spank Danny in these situations, but I don't agree. (That was a fun conversation last night) And that tantrums themselves don't really concern me, it's the EVERY FREAKING night part that's got me a little confused.

Anyone?

MinEaston

07-10-2009, 11:43 AM

Hi Leah! First, let me say that I think your approach is exactly right, and I admire you for it. We've had a string of hard nights here too and I've done my best to remain as calm as possible but it's frustrating. I doubt, as you say, that Danny's overtired, but given the timeframe of the tantrums, I'm sure he's definitely at the end of his day. Anna's similar in hers. She'll be fine one minute, but then I say it's time to go upstairs and get a bath or get ready for bed, and everything is over.

Hang in there. In our case, I'm hoping it will resolve in a week or so (the past few streaks of trying behavior have resolved in a few weeks).

PoppyJ

07-10-2009, 03:12 PM

Leah, that sounds like normal toddler behavior to me. Avery has some type of tantrum about 5 days a week. This just started within the last month or so. Some are minor and others can last and last and last. I think you are handeling them perfectly. It is so hard to know what to do. Avery hates to be alone when she is having one, but does not want to be touched either. So we just sit in a room together and I try to talk her down. Some times I use distractions and other times I just sit there and let her do her thing. It has to be hard to be a 2 year old....and it is REALLY hard to be a 2 year old's mother. ;)

Quick question: is anyone giving there toddler a multi-vitamin? If so, what kind and when did you start? I am debating about starting Avery on them.

Have a good weekend.

LHBryan

07-10-2009, 03:13 PM

Hi Leah! I was just going to post about this very thing last week, but never got around to it. Hannah was particularly rough last week w/ major meltdowns throughout each day, but now we seem back to the usual one or two per day. (I did just notice some new teeth beginning to poke through, which probably explains her extreme crankiness.) Yes, Danny sounds completely normal to me, based on my limited experience. Hannah melts down either during meal prep ("Up on Mommy!!") and/or at the tail end of dinner. It almost always happens during dinner on a daycare day, when she's utterly exhausted. I'm certainly not skilled at handling tantrums, but it sounds to me like you're doing a terrific job. The every night side of it is incredibly frustrating though, because then you're just dreading the inevitable. Since he's so tired/maxed-out on the day, have you tried moving back his bedtime about 15 minutes? I know that's easier said than done w/ working.

Oh, and as for the spanking issue....That's a sensitive subject so I'll try to tread lightly. Last week I was reading about toddler behavior and discipline in our American Academy of Pediatrics book "Caring for Your Baby and Young Child," and they have a great but brief, very straightforward section addressing why spanking is not the answer. They explain it very rationally--i.e. it's pretty odd to scream at your child, "No Hitting!" and then turn around and hit them--and also address some of the behavioral ramifications. Maybe you could show it to DH. I could photocopy it for you if you don't have the book, or try to summarize it better when I have my copy in front of me. You're already doing exactly what that book suggests, by the way--being the grown-up and modeling calm, responsible behavior for Danny. And that is tough to do when they're going bonkers!

Things are going pretty well for us, but I'm in need of lots of advice these days. First, which is related to Leah's post, are there any books y'all recommend for dealing with toddler behavior? Is "Love and Logic" geared more toward older kids or toddlers? Secondly, does anyone else's toddler still sleep with a pacifier?:o Hannah adores her "MaMo" (her word), but is allowed to have it in the crib only. We really need to think of weaning her from it, but either need to do it asap or a few months after DD2 arrives (due 8/3). Her new room at daycare doesn't allow them--even during naps--and apparently she's been fine, but that's just 1 or 2 days/week. I hate to take it from her when she's having such a tough time teething, and her dr. said we should just worry about it once DD2 is no longer "new." Any thoughts? Lastly, we're deliberating moving Hannah to a big-girl bed. She's 2yo, but ordinarily we wouldn't move her quite this soon if it weren't for DD2's arrival. We planned on moving her in the next week or so, but then I was reading in the pediatrics book that we should wait until the new baby is ~3-4 months old and the household is less disrupted in terms of sleep. I would prefer to wait (b/c I can't imagine Hannah having free reign in her room!!), but then I'm afraid she'll view the situation as baby sister stealing her bed. And I'm not sure DD2 will be comfy in the bassinet/pack-n-play for that long. We planned for several weeks in the bassinet in our room, but not quite that long. Hannah does seem interested in big-person beds, so that's a plus. Advice? Any reassurances that life post-crib isn't so rough would be greatly appreciated!

Hope everyone has a great weekend!

-Laura

ellery

07-10-2009, 07:02 PM

So glad to hear I'm not the only one. Every time this happens and I don't handle it the way I'd like to, I beat myself up about it. Last night I instinctively swatted Danny after he bit me and I felt terrible about it. Two weeks ago he was losing it during the day (just to switch things up) and I was sitting with him in time out next to the bathroom door. He kept hitting and kicking and I ended up putting him in timeout in the bathroom (with me sitting on the other side of the door). I'd open the door every minute or so and ask him if he was done hitting, he'd yell "no!!" and try to take a swing at me, and I'd shut the door on him. After about 5 minutes and asking him 5 times if he was done hitting, he finally was. My coworker today told me that I should've put him in his room, but I still disagree with that, as he loves his room and my point was to remove him from the object of his aggression (me!), keep him close, and put him somewhere not fun.

But ever since then I've felt terrible that I'm a mom who swats and puts her kid in the bathroom when he's misbehaving. :o

Anyway, to answer other people's questions.

Poppy, Danny has the stupidest diet ever, so I've been giving him a multivitamin since he turned 2. We do the chewable organic/without an overwhelming amount of additives ones. Shaped like a bear. I got them at the supermarket and between a daily one of those and his daily Pediasure I've reconciled myself to having a kid who lives on dairy and carbohydrates. He's very happy and healthy and active, so I figure that I'm doing something right.

Laura, first off, hugs to you for being pregnant and the mom of a 2 year old. ;) And I definitely agree about the no spanking thing. I'd say about 50% of the kids I work with at work have been physically abused, and I really hope that I will never feel that I have to resort to spanking. I personally feel that spanking or not is not the issue when it comes to your kids respecting you and behaving - it's more who you are as a person, are you consistent, are you fair, are you semi-scary (do you follow through on consequences when you threaten them, are you firm, do you have the "evil eye, cocked eyebrow" scary look and tone of voice down). I don't think that spanking or not spanking ruins your kids, it's more who you are the rest of the time, if that makes sense.

As for your other questions Laura, honestly, I wouldn't recommend changing anything at this point in time for Hannah, especially as she will undoubtedly regress once the baby arrives. I'm all about whatever helps, so Danny sleeps with a pacifier (or 9 or 10 - they tend to fall out of the crib during the night), a blankie, and 5 or 6 of his favorite stuffed animals at home. He doesn't use a paci at daycare, but that's more because other kids tend to steal them and he does fine without it. He also knows that he can only have a paci for naps, and it and his blankie never ever leave his bedroom. I know that pacis interfere with teeth, etc. but I'm hoping that the two hours or so that it's actually in his mouth (it falls out when he's asleep) aren't hurting anything. I also don't have any plans to take Danny out of the crib until he's 16, or physically able to deconstruct it himself. I'm kind of over all "the rules" that say kids have to be doing this or that by a certain age, and it starts to feel like a competition at some point. Another mother at daycare whose daughter just turned 2 is all about potty training her kid, who so totally isn't interested. The mom keeps buying book after book and trying method after method, and even the mom isn't able to really put into words why she's so bent on potty training a barely 2 year old. I figure that kids do things in their own time and it makes life a whole lot less stressful to modify my expectations or schedule and just accept Danny as who he is, versus pulling my hair out and trying to make him move faster or whatever it is that's bugging me. He's poky in the mornings, so I wake him up earlier than he needs to be, and pad extra time into our morning routine, just so that he can be poky and I can let him be. If he's not ready for potty training (and he's not) I'm not going to worry about it. He will be when he is, and I'm fairly certain that this will happen at some point before he hits middle school, and I'm okay with that.

As for books, well, I really like the one I mentioned in my other post. I loved her book about pregnancy, and I really like her philosophy about toddlers. I also like Love and Logic and don't feel it's at all too early to use it. I do it with Danny on a daily basis and have done so ever since he was teeny tiny, and he's totally used to having choices the great percentage of time. Other than that I think it's just up to whatever your philosophy is on parenting. I try really really hard to choose my battles, to only take a stand on the really important stuff (I only do timeouts when it's a safety issue, like standing on chairs, hitting, etc.), to absolutely always follow through on what I say and never ever ever give in (refer to previous post about gummy bears for dinner) unless it's a reasonable request (having a juicebox for breakfast instead of our usual milk). And then sometimes you just get an easy kid (Danny) and sometimes you don't.

With all that being said, of course, tonight Danny was awesome. No tantrum, not even a hint of one. We sang songs together, snuggled on the couch while watching Barney (another thing I swore I'd never do, along with pop tarts, Crocs, etc.), and life was good. Urgh.

Okay, I'll shut up now. But first let me proudly post a pic of He Who I Answer To and Sometimes Obey. :D

http://im1.shutterfly.com/media/47b9d931b3127ccec7c1adba277400000040O00AcNGbNk1ZuW IPbz4M/cC/f%3D0/ps%3D50/r%3D0/rx%3D550/ry%3D400/

lbd

07-11-2009, 10:00 AM

Vitamins - when we moved last summer, our new ped was surprised that Ben wasn't getting a multi and said he should be getting one with iron. We'd given him trivisol as an infant but just stopped at one point without really thinking about it -- not sure why. Anyway, he's a peanut and didn't/doesn't really eat any meat so the iron supplement makes sense. I was willing to try a gummy multi but none of the ones I found had iron, and he absolutely hated the taste of polyvisol with iron (Abby is now taking the trivisol with iron and doesn't like it either, but she's too little to really fight it off. :p) Anyway, Ben takes 1/2 of the generic multi from BJ's which compares to Flintstones; once we convinced him to try them, he really liked them. They're shaped like animals and are fruit flavored but no sugar.

Nothing helpful to add to the tantrum debate but it sounds like you're doing a fantastic job dealing with them, Leah. The overall circumstances make me think it's fatigue even if nothing seems to have changed, maybe growth-spurt induced? I try so hard to stay calm but it can be really hard sometimes, and then I feel so guilty when I hear my voice going up. Hang in there.

No books to recommend. Other than looking up medical questions, I haven't looked at any of my books in ages. I figure they're both going to progress at their own rates and will eventually get to wherever they need to be. Worrying is only going to stress me out.

We finally have some nice weather and are trying to enjoy it before the heat sets in. Hard to believe it's already mid-July.

PoppyJ

07-11-2009, 03:28 PM

Leah, Danny is one handsome and cute little boy. How could you not give him gummy bears for dinner with a cute smile like that?!?

And I love your attitude about parenting. I am all about letting them do things at their own pace. Sure you can start potty training the child as early as you want, but that is just going to make it a really, really long process. I would love for Avery to be out of diapers before the next one comes (in 2 1/2 months:eek:) but I am not going to push it. And I also plan to keep Avery in her crib for another 5-6 years.

Speaking of cribs, it's naptime for both of us! :p

Kerri

07-11-2009, 07:49 PM

Just wanted to add my experience with the paci. We got rid of it before James was 2.5. I just felt like it was time. He had 3 paci's:red,blue, and green. For each paci, we made paci cookies with the corresponding M&M color and spaced out the cookie making by a week or so. When he asked for his paci, we just told him it was in his tummy and never had any problem with it what so ever. Here (http://thenaptimeblog.blogspot.com/2008/12/green-paci-cookies.html) is a blog post about the experience.

HOWEVER, not 2 weeks later, James started climbing out of his crib. Also, not that big of a deal, we were planning on transitioning to a big boy bed in a month or so anyways, but after he could accomplish this, this started a 4 MONTH BATTLE OVER NAPTIME. I did think maybe he was trying to drop it, but when he did nap, it would last like 3 hours, so he definately needed the sleep. That was a bad time and I wonder if I should have waited to get rid of that paci until he was a little better going without a nap. Just something to think about.

I will go ahead and say that we do spank in our house. It started it when James did not seem to understand he could not play with the oven. It is just another tool in my disapline box and there are definately times when I feel it is the most apropiate way to deal with things. (ie, 4 hours into a 6 hour drive, you can't really say, "if you take your straps off again, I am going to pull over and give you a time out!!) Now that James is older, I find time outs more effective, especially, as others have mentioned, it is hard to say, "don't hit" when you spank. I would never spank for a temper tantrum though. That seems the exact opposite of what you should do.

I will definately check out that girlfriends guide to toddlers though. I have read a few books about this age and found most pretty unhelpful. It just really depends on your kid. Some of the ones I have read are Happiest Toddler on the Block and The Spirited Child. I did take a few piece of info from both of them and just keep plugging away.

I will post pictures later.

Bawstinn

07-13-2009, 08:29 AM

Poppy - I have had the multi-vitamin question for weeks now, but everytime I popped on, I totatlly forgot to ask the question!

I have looked for vitamins but can't believe the main ingredient is sugar or corn syrup in all of them. I have to hunt some organic ones down, I think, which isn't easy here since the organic section in the grocery store is so small.

I also have to find flouride to give Madeleine since we are on well water. Her doctor recommended taking it as well.

ellery

07-13-2009, 08:59 AM

Okay, now that I look at these vitamins (http://www.drugstore.com/qxp67653_333181_sespider/lil_critters/gummy_vites_kids_multivitamin.htm) that I give Danny I'm realizing that their only selling point is the no artificial colors or preservatives thing. Their second ingredient is sucrose (yay) and they have no iron in them. I'm trying to deal with the iron thing by giving him fortified cereals and other foods that have iron in them. He certainly doesn't seem anemic or tired (ever!) but who knows.

Thanks for all the input on the spanking thing, by the way. I know we all have different opinions and it's nice that we can share them without worrying about getting slammed. Parenting is hard enough and it's good to know we all support each other.

valchemist

07-13-2009, 09:34 AM

I could be wrong, but I would guess even "organic" vitamins are going to have sugar. otherwise, they'd taste bad. and lets face it, sugar is sugar. whatever fancy name the organic label gives its sugar isn't going to make it better for you. it's just a small amount and we just give them and brush teeth afterwards.

regarding the fluoride, we use poland spring bottled water that has fluoride added.

http://www.polandspring.com/Products/FluoridatedEightOunce.aspx

the kids drink at least a bottle of this per day which, according to my doctor/dentist is plenty to suffice.

also, on the iron...
we once gave a multi vitamin with iron and it actually stained julia's teeth (this was 5 years ago) so we have since stopped that (the dentist told us the staining came directly from the iron). cream of wheat is a great source of iron if you can get your kids to eat that for breakfast.

to answer the original question...
we started giving vitamins at probably 2 1/2 or so. we have used flintstones or equivalent and something called gummy vites (I think). anyway, I am pretty sure they are all similar.

just found a link to the gummy vites
http://www.drugstore.com/qxp67653_333181_sespider/lil_critters/gummy_vites_kids_multivitamin.htm

DanaSD

07-13-2009, 10:04 AM

preschooler mom popping in,

I think you need to find the discipline that works for your child (and this is different for every child) and I've found that this needs adjusting as they grown. For Brendan, timeouts used to work great - I would tell him to go to timeout, he would, then he would calm down and return with good behavior. As he got closer to 3, this stopped working and had no effect on him - he would just return with the same behavior. I found it better to put a toy in time out (this still works great) and now sometimes I take away priveledges like TV, swimming or some other fun activity.

As far as acting up when in the car, I pulled over once and got out of the car and that had a great effect on him that I didn't even need to do the timeout - I think he thought since we were in the car, he was safe and could get away with it

As for temper tantrums in the evening, have you tired adjusting bedtimes? We've adjusted B's bedtime anywhere from 6 to 8 needing earlier bedtimes for school days, growth spurts and swimming days (closer to 7 these days). Evening temper tantrums and fighting bedtimes is usually what we use to guide as to when we need to move his bedtime up. It seems to need slight adjustments every few months. The early bedtimes is hard when you work and need to cook dinner so we've tried switching to simpler meals and moved baths to the morning.

our pediatrian is against vitamins unless he sees the need in a child's development. But now I'm wondering about flouride.

maryellenmd

07-16-2009, 10:31 AM

Hey everyone,

Wow, I haven't logged into this site in months and months, but today I just happened to stop on by, and I so enjoyed reading all of your updates. I can relate to many of the stories you are sharing about your kiddos. It's so great to "see" you all again!!

We have had some big transitions recently. Christian turned 3 at the end of June, and we had a party for him at one of those Gymboree type places with friends from his daycare and playgroup. It was a Cars theme, and they had a blast running around, eating pizza and cake!

He moved up to the 3 year old class at the end of June too. He was in a class with 12 kids now to a class with 20 kids. So far, so good. He seems to be adjusting well and enjoying his new teachers and getting to know the other children - they follow a similar schedule so that helps. 3 of his little friends "graduated" with him too.

We are in big boy underwear here too -- he is not very good at telling us he has to go, but as soon as we are in the bathroom, he knows exactly what to do. He hasn't had any accidents at school the past week and a half, knock on wood. One of our issues with it is the protesting of no potty at times. I think it's more of a control, I'm in charge thing than anything else. He wants to be boss. We have not had luck with pooping in the potty, and I've had a couple of messy episodes at Target and Barnes and Noble. Yuck. At night, he is staying dry in his pull up. At school, he was standing up to go, which totally surprised me because I was having him sit! The boy never fails to amaze me.

Yesterday we visited the pediatric dentist for the first time, and he was such a little trooper. The whole visit was only about 15 minutes, but the dentist was able to look at his teeth and complete the cleaning while Christian sat calmly in his cool Diego sunglasses because of the "bright dental lights". LOL

We took him on a cruise in June too, and he loved it. Here is a photo from the trip.
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2183/3635485846_88a4730b0e.jpg?v=0

I will have to remember to login and check out these boards more frequently!!

-Mary Ellen

Bawstinn

08-13-2009, 08:10 AM

Hi Mary Ellen - great to *see* you. Christian is getting so big (like the rest of them, I suppose). :)

Let's talk naps. Madeleine has been sporadically skipping naps at daycare over the last 2 weeks but she is falling asleep in the car on the way home. She is still taking naps on the weekend though (2+ hours now - probably to make up for the weekdays. Thoughts? Is this the beginning of the end of naps? <do I need to add what a cranky little thing she is at night - I think I am seeing a mini version of the teenage years>

Also, how long are they sleeping at night? Right now I try to get her to bed by 7:30 (which is getting harder since Christopher has decided 7:30 is also his bedtime). Right now she gets a reprieve and sleeps until 6:45 but I go back to work on Monday and she'll need to get up at least a 1/2 hour earlier. I am trying to decide if I need to try and push her bedtime earlier.

Thoughts?

Couperine

08-13-2009, 08:27 AM

Hi Maria!

Ethan is almost 4 1/2, and he's been mostly napfree for months now. I'll have him do quiet time in his room for my sanity while the babies are sleeping, but he's certainly not asleep. We go with 8pm for bedtime for all the kids, and Ethan wakes up around 7am daily. I'd try to see if having Madeleine going to sleep earlier helps, but Ethan wakes up the same time each day no matter what. She may want to nap even less if you have her go to bed earlier.

Hope this helps - I know every family has to go with what works for them!

Kerri

08-13-2009, 12:39 PM

How funny, I was just thinking I needed to find this thread while listening to James NOT take a nap AGAIN. He isn't even three!!! I would be interested to know what schedule everyone is one. I have been thinking maybe we are expecting him to sleep too much. Here is our ideal schedule: awake between 6:30-7, nap between 1-3, bedtime at 8. Here is our actual schedule. Up around 6, no nap, bedtime at 7:45. If he does nap, we put him down closer to 8pm, but he is usually up and down until around 8:30-9. He will still get up at 6 the next day, and not nap. I really feel it is a phase, but it has been a long road with no end in sight.

Things have been though. So far, three is WAY worse than 2's. The lack of sleep really hasn't helped, but also, my other son is 14 months and very mobile. I feel that I have to give Andy so much attention that it is really starting to affect James.

Maybe we are just ready for school to start. He is going to 2 1/2 year old preschool, but it doesn't start until Sept 10.

Here is a picture of my boys are the recent opening of a chick fil a. It has been big news!

http://i117.photobucket.com/albums/o79/wirrek/2009-kids/DSC04317.jpg

Couperine

08-13-2009, 01:28 PM

I almost posted some of my issues about splitting time between kids as well, Kerri, so I'm glad you did!

Thankfully the summer after we had David, we enrolled Ethan in 3 year old Montessori school, and that helped me feel like he was still getting enrichment while I spent so much time with David. Now David is 16 months old, and baby Kyle is 2 1/2 months old, and I'm having a similar crisis of enrichment for David and Kyle. I remember holding Ethan in my arms ALL the time, and I feel like I'm totally missing that with Kyle. Nothing I can really do about it - I take children in order of whose problem needs solved the most, but I feel guilty at times letting Kyle cry a few minutes more while I do something fairly quick for Ethan or David. Since Ethan is such a good help, I tend to ask for his help alot, so I'm also trying to make sure I show him how much I appreciate that. I definitely feel like it's a juggling act and there are plenty of times when I feel like I'm doing an awful balancing job. :)

TLee4

08-13-2009, 06:42 PM

Hi all. Thought I'd pipe in re: the sleep/naps too.

Joey was 3 in June. 6 out of 7 days he still naps..normally about 2 hours. He is normally up by 6am (or earlier!) Naps around 1. I put him to bed around 7:30 but in reality he normally is not asleep until about 9pm. He also gets up and comes in to our bed almost every night. He knows who likes him there (daddy) and is smart enough to climb in on that side!

On Fridays, my MIL keeps the kids. For some reason she does not nap Joey. Those are the days that make it clear to me that he still needs a nap. By the time I get there (around 4:30pm) he is pretty much of a beast. And he falls right to sleep when we get in the car.

John-Paul was 2 this month. His actual sleep schedule is: 8pm-7:30am and a 2.5 hour nap (or longer).

Terri

p.s. Joey just got up for time #2 since I put him down 15 min ago. He said "I just wanted to say that I REALLY love you. And can I rhyme something?"

NewMrsG

08-16-2009, 09:23 AM

Hi all! It's been so long since I've posted on one of these threads. I'm now on bedrest with my second pregnancy, so have tons of time. :)

Naps: Macy (who turned 3 in June) gave up naps a few months ago. Gradually at first, but I can't remember the last time she napped - either at home or at daycare. I have to admit that we're not very disciplined about her sleeping schedule. She tends to get up at around 8:00 or so in the morning M-Th, which are the days she goes to daycare. We try to get her upstairs between 7:30 and 8:00 and asleep by 9:00, but it's a challenge when we're not home until 6:00 most nights during the week. We also now have her enrolled in a gymnastics class that goes until 7:30 Monday nights (the Saturday class we originally had her in had 20 kids and it was just too overwhelming for her).

Weekends are pretty haphazard, and I'm blaming pregnancy-induced laziness and summer schedules, which are more lax. There have been some nights we haven't had her down until 10:00 or so, and then she sleeps in, often until 10 am. It's probably not good practice to have her schedule varying so much, I know.

Maryellen - Macy used the potty well but absolutely refused to poop in it. And then one day, she just decided it was okay. Funny how they do that.

I'm mostly concentrating on trying to prepare her - and us - for a second little person. Going on bedrest unexpectedly has really added a lot of stress. Not that I can do anything about it, but it takes away from the time I can spend with her and do some of the things we've talked about doing before her little brother gets here. We have had to rely on her a lot more to help, which I guess is good practice for what's to come. She's great the vast majority of the time, but at times she's regressing a bit, which I guess isn't terribly unexpected.

Please feel free to pass along any pointers!

And since we're posting pictures, here's my baby:

http://im1.shutterfly.com/media/47b9d910b3127ccec7ebc68b2fe800000070O08AaNHLRi5ctA e3nwo/cC

ellery

08-26-2009, 07:13 PM

Okay, I'm putting my fingers in my ears and humming loudly. I do not want to hear anything about giving up naps or going to bed past 8. Right now we are very spoiled (Danny's almost 2 1/2). Up between 7:30 and 8:30 (later on weekends), still doing a nap every day, between 2 and 4 hours (longer on weekends - don't know what they do to him at daycare during the week but he sleeps a lot on the weekends) and to bed each night around 8. I don't know if he falls asleep right away but he's quiet in there, so whatever he's doing in there is fine by me. :)

Jori, so sorry to hear about the bedrest. I can't imagine how hard that is, but it'll be worth it to keep the new little one happy and healthy.

Okay, can I just vent one more time about this stupid wedding? Yes, I'm the wedding curmudgeon, but having Bridezilla/The Princess Bride as a future sister in law seems to have brought it out in me.

I strongarmed Danny into trying on his tuxedo tonight and it was pretty awful. There was lots of begging and M & M's finally helped. (the promise of them, that is - wasn't going to deal with smeared chocolate all of the tux) No amount of M&M's could coerce him into putting on the tie or letting me button the buttons. If I can't even get him to try on the tux, how am I going to get him to wear it for longer than 5 minutes? Bad bad feelings about this wedding this weekend. :(

Here he is, unbuttoned and sobbing. :(

http://im1.shutterfly.com/media/47b9d607b3127ccec7a08ef64b3e00000040O00AcNGbNk1ZuW IPbz4M/cC/f%3D0/ps%3D50/r%3D0/rx%3D550/ry%3D400/