Getting to the roots...

[Angelina]

So the other day I was looking at the website for a store that specializes in running shoes. They mentioned that there are still spots available to volunteer at the NYC Triathlon, and that whoever did would automatically be entered for free in next year's competition.

That got me to think...if I volunteered and thereby got signed up for a triathlon, the most likely thing I would do is chicken out. All kinds of reasons pop into my brain, from good ones to pathetic ones. I can't ride a bike, I don't swim with the proper form, why...I can't even run a block!

I don't hate my body, I think it's beautiful and strong. And yet somehow I do not trust myself to do simple things that will allow me to enjoy myself more. I am afraid to drive, because I don't trust my reflexes...same thing with bike riding. I get this instant vision of me riding into a car or something. Rollerblades? Same thing. Of course not driving precludes me from going to the beach and learn to surf. And working long late hours precludes from taking classes for all the various things Manhattan has to offer. You get the idea...:rolleyes:

As a kid, I felt like a klutz. Hated phys ed in school. Now, at the ripe age of 41, I feel better than ever. I lost 60 pounds over the last couple of years, and I am MAJORLY itching to experience more in my life. But I always have the nagging voices in my head...why bother running when you will quit after two days...why bother dreaming of taking capoeira classes when work will always be a problem...

Did/does anyone else feel this distrust towards themselves? How did you overcome it? I know I make a lot of excuses, but I am thinking it all comes out of my belief my body can't handle it and I will hurt myself.

Sorry if it's long...and thanks in advance for your advice. :)

Angela

[Jessnc]

Angela, I'm so sorry you're dealing with this problem. I read your post a little while ago, thought about it, and realized that my problem is similar to yours.

I have a tendency to make excuses about doing things out of fear of failure. I'm afraid I won't be good enough at something. I want to paint a picture, but I'm afraid once I attempt it, it will look awful (the canvas has been in my closet for a long time). I want to exercise but feel like it won't make a difference, or I won't be able to build up stamina and endurance fast enough. I would love to take dance lessons of any kind, but am afraid that I would be awful. Affordability is an excuse I also use, but that's one I should be a bit flexible with. You only live once.

I tell myself that it's easier to make excuses and avoid rather than challenge myself and risk a little harm to my ego (it's rare that I think about the rewards that might be had if I actually did follow through on something). I know I want to do these things, I just have to get the courage to do them. It doesn't help either that I'm not at the happiest point in my life, but perhaps doing these things would make me happier and richer with memories and experience.

[Gecko]

I am probably the last person to give you advice but I do totally understand where you are coming from. Everyone in my family has done a triathlon except me. My husband is totally into this sport and has now done many triathlons, half-ironmans, and ironmans. Sometimes I just feel the need to fulfill this need to prove that I am capable of doing one too. I mean I was extremely athletic in school but the thought of this terrifies me. However, if I was going to attempt a triathlon I would probably join a group to train, especially one with newcomers to the sport. We have such a group here that has a variety of training programs and they are just for women. I have heard that it is super supportive. Maybe there is a group like this where you live that offers weekend programs? Good luck and remember that signing up is half the battle (or so I've been told ;) )

[tbb113]

Angela - When my kids were younger and afraid to do something, I would tell them "you can sit on the sidelines and know you won't get hurt or you can play and hope that you don't" Most of the time they would play! Other then injury the worst thing is that you will try something and realize you don't like it and quit. But the best thing is...you may try it and LOVE it. Go for it! Life is to short to have regrets about what might have been

Now I need to take my own advice and step out of my comfort zone.:o

[Angelina]

You guys are right...I just need to start taking baby steps to deal with my fear of failure (because that is most likely what it is!). I KNOW I can do those things. Well, at least my brain knows it...and at the same time it stops itself from trying anything.

I have been doing some research and found a kayaking club that meets on Sundays to go down the East River. There is a place that teaches surfing and paddle boarding in Montauk. There is a Capoeira female teacher that sounds really cool and she has emailed me and asked me when will I come to her school...all these opportunities can not go to waste.

I wish I could make my brain shut up with all its negative backtalk! My job is extremely stressful right now, and planning and looking forward to some physical activity helps me deal with it, but I think actually DOING it would help even more. :cool:

[claire909]

Hello Angie,

Not only baby steps but also take one activity at a time,master it to an extent and then you will feel good enough and confident to move on to the next one.

[SusanMac]

I thought this thread was going to be about hair color! Interesting topic, though, since many of us deal w/this at some point to varying degrees.

I agree w/Claire. So far you've mentioned one of the country's largest triathlons, kayaking, surfing, paddle boarding & copeira. You might subliminally be making a big list b/c it's overwhelming.

I agree that you don't even have to stick w/something for long. Taking one class that's maybe a month would be awesome. You wouldn't be quitting a sport. You would have tried something new. That's fantastic! Good for you physically, mentally & emotionally, esp if your work is stressful.

As a kid, I wasn't athletic at all. Parents didn't encourage it, and I feared getting hurt, looking stupid or doing poorly. As an adult, I revel in athletic activities. I think I appreciate it more b/c it's all new to me. It makes me feel strong and beautiful.

[Angelina]

About the triathlon, I would never do it. I don't even know how to ride a bike, and all of my research has not turned up any place in NYC that will teach adults. Maybe there is no hidden enough place big enough to ride in and yet private enough to hide our shame. ;)

Not to say that I am not in awe of people who do it. It seems so beyond anything *I* could ever do.

All the other sports, I just want to try them. You know, have the experience and then pick one I like more. Kayaking and surfing would be impossible in winter anyway...

[SusanMac]

I love the idea of picking one and exploring more! Maybe once you jump into the first one, some of the negative-speak will diminish? I hope so! You've got some fabulous, inspirational ideas & opportunities right at your feet.