Bed Wetting

[LaraW]

I am just wondering at what age do kids generally outgrow bed wetting/needing a pull up at night, and when we should start to get concerned that something is going on.

DD will be 6 in December. She is a very heavy sleeper, and therefore does not wake up when she needs to go. Add to that temper tantrums if we try to wake her up before we go to bed, and the fact that I am unable to get her to drink more water, etc during the day so that she is not as thirsty at dinnertime/bedtime and wants to drink more then.

She thought of using an alarm clock and we instituted that last Friday. It is set for 10:30 pm. It was successful for the first 3 nights, then last night she would not get up, when I tried to help her wake up she had a tantrum and then didn't go to the bathroom and ended up wetting the bed around 2 am. I am just growing weary of my sleep being interrupted with tantrums or laundry.

We have put her in charge of changing the bed, putting the laundry in to wash (we do help turn on the washing machine and dryer). I am just sick of all this, and I am wondering if she will ever grow out of this and/or when its time to place a call to our pediatrician.

[cchhbb]

Lara,

My ped. didn't even ask about bedwetting at our 6 year appointment last year. She doesn't think it is an issue until 7. DS1 outgrew it on his own very close to his 6th birthday, but occassionally will have accidents. He was very resistant to wearing a pull-up at night so I would put it on him after he was asleep. That way we weren't changing the bed every night and I could get some sleep. I did cut him off of beverages later in the day.

Cheryl

[Goin' Coastal]

My one daughter was a bed wetter and there really is not much you can do about it. It is something they WILL outgrow. I used to ask the pediatrician about it, and he always said not to worry - a certain percentage of children (mostly girls) wet the bed at whatever age. It is frustrating, but it is no picnic for your daughter either. We had plastic liners on the mattress which helped with the bed changing. I can't remember what age she finally stopped. It became less and less as she got older, and then finally not at all. I know it's hard, but just don't make a big deal about it - she can't help it and she will stop someday.

[Luv to Cook]

Mine turned 6 in June and we stopped with the pull-ups 3 nights ago. My ped says the same thing...it is just something they will outgrow. Some kids are just heavy sleepers, others have smallish bladders. If nothing else is going on, or if she has always been sleeping thru the urge (meaning, she did not need a pull up in the past, but needs one now), then she will eventually outgrow it. On the other hand, my younger DD stopped wearing pull ups at nite around 3.5, so different kids, different needs.

My DD was starting to notice that her friends do not wear pull ups at nite and said when this last box was done, that she would try. So far, so good, though last night she didn't make it to the bathroom in time and wet her pants on the way there.

I would try holding out a few more months and then try again.

Hang in there!
Anita

[leebee]

DS is 8 (will be 9 in January), and he has had bedwetting issues. He has been mostly dry for the last year, with a few accidents (around stressful events, usually). We have been talking to his ped for the last several years about it, but he has not been overly concerned, as there's been a steady improvement. DS is smallish, so the guess is an immature bladder. He's also a deep sleeper.

There is a device you can get that attaches to the underwear and sounds an alarm when it detects moisture. We used one a few times, and it seemed to help him recognize the urge and the need to get up. The book we ordered did make a few interesting points, one of which was that this isn't something he could control--not when he was having the accidents. He needed to LEARN control. They do not recommend having the child change linens, etc., as that is often a punitive measure, and that could make the situation more stressful and make it actually take longer. I kept a sleeping bag on deck so if there was an issue, I could strip the bed and he could just crawl in the sleeping bag--no middle of the night bedmaking. I also bought some waterproof pads and put one over the sheet on his mattress. Often his top covers did not get wet, so it was just a matter of whisking away the pad & having him change his clothes.

While I didn't think there was an issue with DS, I did share it with his doctor simply because he was a resource and an ally.

[karen w]

My DS #1 (now 13 y.o) was not dry at night until age 7 y.o. The ped. was not concerned and did not feel the need for a workup of kidney function etc... unless it persisted to the age of ~ 8 y.o. At his 7 yr. check up, the ped. did recommend a sleep alarm if my son was motivated. Said it is no guarantee, but if the child is motivated it might work. After researching it and talking to DS#1, we decided to go ahead and give it a try. It was an alarm just like Leebee described. All the data said it needs to be used at least 3 months consistently and up to one year to be effective. Well, literally 3 months to the first day of using it, he was dry and stayed dry. As a matter of fact, I don't recall him have any accidents after that time period. I did not have issues with changing bed linens as we would have him wear underwear and then a pull up over that so the only thing that he wet that needed to be washed and changed was the underwear. The alarm would get clipped inside the pullup. Just as a bit of background, DS#1 was also an extremely heavy sleeper and experienced(still does on a rare occasion) night terrors.

Good luck,
Karen

[LaraW]

Thank you for the thoughts ,everyone. We have had a loooooong road with her potty training, as it has been going on for almost 4 years.

Anyhow, it is good to know that there are other kids out there who have had similar issues. She wants to sleep in underwear, but it just has become too much for me to be up with her every night.

[Gecko]

They do eventually outgrow it. One of my DD's is an extremely heavy sleeper and she did not even realize that she had wet the bed when it happened. Pull-ups helped her feel better and kept our sanity with all of the laundry, but then she didn't want to wear them any more. I ended up getting a special protector for the mattress and put down a waterproof blanket for her to sleep on. This at least eliminated some of the big laundry stuff. I know it is frustrating but you just have to keep telling yourself that they don't mean to do it, would rather not, and it won't be for ever. I know, easy for me to say since I don't have this problem any more, but truly you will get there. Before you know it they won't want to hold your hand in public anymore, and then they will get snippy with you and start rolling their eyes, and then.....well I digress and I don't want to spoil all the surprises ahead for you ;) :D

[TKay]

Ds #1 is a heavy sleeper and had accidents far longer than ds #2. In fact, his potty training took much longer as well. It's just who they are, and they do get through it. I don't think there's anything wrong with your dd. She just hasn't gotten to the point yet where she can stay dry. And that's okay.

I will mention that some friends of ours had an issue with their ds (7 at the time) still bed-wetting. They were so frustrated that they tried the alarm described above. It took a few days and bingo! The kid stayed dry through the night.

I'm sure it's not that fast for everybody, and that this particular boy was ready. It's just good to know that there are some tools out there you can try if you're so inclined.

Hang in there. You are not alone.

[LaraW]

Thanks again for all the thoughts. I just didn't know how long this is expected to go on. DS will be 4 in January, and he has been dry overnight with few exceptions since last spring, so before he was 3 1/2. He will sometimes get up in the night to go to the bathroom, but DD just never does.

She has had periods in the past where she had long stretches without an accident and/or will wake up. When she was 3 1/2 and just was fully potty trained, she was dry overnight most of that summer. She got sick at the end of Sept and wet the bed one night. I didn't think anything of it, since she had been up with an ear infection the night before and I figured she was just extra-tired. Well, the one night turned into the whole winter, and she was back in pull ups. Then, the next summer, at age 4 1/2, she had another long stretch with being dry and started wetting again in the fall and all winter.

I was hoping that this past summer (age 5 1/2) she would be dry again, and would just stay dry when the fall came, but she was in pullups all summer as well.

She seems to be motivated and wants to be dry, and we came up with a modified approach, which is to keep the alarm set for 10:30 pm, but wear a pull up, so that in case she wets we don't have the laundry to deal with. That way she can keep practicing. DH and I have also been trying to tell her that if she drinks more water throughout the day that she won't be as thirsty at dinnertime and bedtime. So far she has not been interested in doing that. We will keep trying though.

[sparrowgrass]

Hmmm--could she be too cold at night during the fall and winter? Or she doesn't like to get out of a warm bed to go to the bathroom?

Maybe warmer PJ's?