View Full Version : how do you handle it if someone doesn't like what you made?
06-03-2010, 01:58 PM
When we have dinner parties I find that people have so many different tastes and sometimes it is hard to figure it all out. Has anyone ever told you they don't like what you made and how did you handle it?
06-03-2010, 02:11 PM
Although I'm sure that I've made something that someone didn't like at one time or another, no one has been rude enough to say anything to me about it. That, of course, doesn't include DH or DSs.:D So I don't know how I would handle it. I guess I would try not to take it personally and let it roll off my back.
On the other hand, I have had things at dinner parties that I didn't care for, but would never say anything to the host/hostess. I would appreciate having been invited in the first place.
06-03-2010, 02:50 PM
No one has ever told me that. I think that would be very rude.
On the other hand, I don't get peeved if people don't eat everything in sight. I have been in homes where the host(s) did expect people to eat everything and were grumpy if they didn't! I think that's very poor form. People may have good reasons for not eating a particular food (diet, allergies, etc.).
I try to take people's preferences into consideration, if I know them, and try to make dishes I think my guests will like. But once a party starts, I don't pay attention to who eats what.
If someone commented negatively about the food, I'd be surprised. I'd try to be gracious about it, say something noncommital and let it go.
I would try and be gracious and not invite them back if that is an option. Not every dish is to everyone's taste - what one loves another despises so we rejoice in our diversity! and try to remember not to serve mil mashed potatoes/turnips next time. The note about MIL was to myself, I did not intend to shove it one someone else
06-03-2010, 03:30 PM
People may inadvertently say "I wish this had more..." or "this was too ... for me" but I can't imagine anyone saying negative directed at the person who would have been the one who made the meal.
I think you answered your own question....you can't please everyone.
I expect DH to critique me and sure, it hurts my feelings if he isn't as pleased with something, but I would still like to hear it.
Strangers at parties...not so much. Eat it or don't and move on is my motto :eek:
06-03-2010, 07:10 PM
I agree with peachesandcream. It is better to consider and prepare dishes most people like, as it assures that there will be fewer leftovers. And relax, you should also enjoy the party!
I like to try sophisticated desserts; but when it comes to parties, it’s difficult to be adventurous. Once I brought three desserts to a party, but the creme caramel, disappeared in seconds!
06-03-2010, 07:53 PM
I can't imagine anyone actually saying that but I suppose if faced with it I would just shrug and say "I'm sorry to hear it." And would not invite them back. If they gave a critique such as the ones Wallycat mentioned, I would shrug or not acknowledge the comment. Being a guest in someone's home is not the same as being a patron in a restaurant.
I am a good gauge of the tastes of my friends and I always ask a few questions when I've decided on a menu if I think something is risky or if it's someone I don't know very well. After that, it's up to me to do the best I can, and up to them to be gracious adults.
06-03-2010, 09:21 PM
If I am serving something I am not sure everyone will like, I try to have a second entree that goes well with it. (i.e. when I have fish and rice, I also make an herb stew that has complementary flavors; when we make kabobs, we make chicken AND beef; and I might make tacos AND have chicken enchiladas as well, etc....). Guests can choose one or both items as well as whatever sides they like.
It wouldn't be unusual for anyone to not care for some particular item that is served, but it really isn't necessary for them to point it out, especially if there are other options. If someone can't find anything they like at my table, they are probably way too picky for me to feed.
We don't have quite as much variety for our everyday family meals, so if the kids tell me they don't like something we are having, I tell them "you know where the cereal is, help yourself."
06-03-2010, 10:13 PM
If someone told me that I would be tempted to say something along the lines of "sorry you don't care for it ... but it leaves more for us to enjoy". Common courtsey would prevent me from saying it out loud though ;)
06-04-2010, 05:36 AM
No body has ever said that to me.
My DDs are vegan so we are very aware of food choices and not hurting anyones feelings. It is a thin line. My dds have heard "well there is just a little chicken broth in this OK?"
They have learned to be polite and eat what they can. They learn to enjoy the company and be there just for the food.
06-04-2010, 07:18 AM
There are people who have told me they don't like something but only those people who are close to me and so I am glad they are critiquing the food.
I don't recall a "normal" person telling me they didn't like something although one would have to be a fool not to realize when a dish flops -- as opposed to someone personally having issues with something about the dish - i.e. ingredients; timid palate or whatever.
I am pretty objective about my cooking so it doesn't bother me if a person doesn't like something I cooked that meets my standards but I do try to avoid weird dishes or ingredients or very spicy food when I have a middle of the road crowd - unless I am bringing a dish to a potluck to deliberately test out and am prepared for the philistines to reject. :p
06-04-2010, 09:09 AM
...it doesn't bother me if a person doesn't like something I cooked that meets my standards but I do try to avoid weird dishes or ingredients or very spicy food when I have a middle of the road crowd - unless I am bringing a dish to a potluck to deliberately test out and am prepared for the philistines to reject. :p
i got that!! that said, it really hasn't happened to me (though people have refrained from tasting something i made for T-day dinner) but once in the last 20 years--- i made Nigella's Watermelon salad with feta and olives for a few of my gamer buddies. two said it didn't quite work for them-- but then they both took HUGE seconds...:rolleyes: and that is one filling salad.
06-04-2010, 10:42 AM
My FIL is VERY picky, but would never say he doesn't like something. He just keeps cutting things into smaller and smaller pieces and shoves them around on his plate for a while.
This doesn't bother me; I try to cook at least one thing that I'm relatively certain he'll like but cook what I want to cook for the rest. We actually tease him about his pickiness. My MIL loves to come visit b/c she gets to have a little more adventurous food than she normally makes.
My SIL gets greatly offended by his actions and worries for weeks before they get into town about what she is going to fix for every meal so that he'll love it all.
He's a big boy. If he doesn't like it, he's the one going hungry and missing out on good stuff. He knows where the PB&J are kept, as well as where the local McDonalds (his favorite) is. I feel the same way about dinner party guests...I don't go crazy with weird stuff for the party and there should be something there that should satisfy at least a little hole for everyone. If they don't like it, they can feed themselves with something they like after they leave.
06-04-2010, 01:25 PM
My sister is the only one who has done that -- typical :rolleyes:
06-04-2010, 01:47 PM
I have mixed feelings. I don't feel bad in terms of upset or bad about myself, because people do have different tastes and there are certainly things I don't like. However, like everyone I do want my guests to be comfortable and enjoy themselves so I feel bad from the perspective that I have served a meal that they did enjoy as much as possible.
That said, if someone actually made an unsolicited commented I would be absolutely appalled. I do have some people besides family I use as my "guinea pigs" and I want honest assessment from them, but otherwise -- if you don't like it you should keep it to yourself it you are over the age of about 2.
Now my kids, that is a whole different story. I often intentionally feed them things I know (or suspect) they may not really like, both to get them to continue to try new things, and to help them learn the important skill of gracefully eating things that you don't like. Even when I do this, though, I make sure there are plenty of other things they like to eat.
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