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beacooker
02-19-2011, 08:58 AM
of the mighty asterisks!

Compare:
Offensive:
Your mother is fat and ugly.

Not Offensive:
*Your mother is fat and ugly.*

Offensive:
Your father is a sh!t-kicking idiot.

Not Offensive:
*Your father is a sh!t-kicking idiot.*

Offensive:
What you lack in intelligence, you more than make up for in stupidity.

Not Offensive :
*What you lack in intelligence, you more than make up for in stupidity.*

I'm so happy I learned this trick!

Hammster
02-19-2011, 09:04 AM
Offensive:
Hicks in Hollywood.

Non Offensive:
*Hicks in Hollywood.*

That is a pretty cool trick. Thanks!

suebear37
02-19-2011, 09:23 AM
Offensive: SNORT!

Not offensive: *SNORT!*

Mary Ann
02-19-2011, 11:01 AM
Well, one must have been residing beneath a boulder to not have had knowledge of the ability to not affront someone by merely using an typographical symbol.:)

generic
02-19-2011, 11:55 AM
Gosh, where have I been? Have asterisks replaced air quotes as a way of saying something without taking responsibility for it? ;)

tbb113
02-19-2011, 11:57 AM
And then we wonder why the boards don't get as much traffic as they used too.

IMHO the original calling out should have be done by PM and let the thread remain what it was.

generic
02-19-2011, 12:02 PM
And then we wonder why the boards don't get as much traffic as they used too.

IMHO the original calling out should have be done by PM and let the thread remain what it was.

Oh dear. I didn't know there was a calling out. Missed that. But I do agree with what you said about reduced board activity. :(

Hammster
02-19-2011, 12:22 PM
And then we wonder why the boards don't get as much traffic as they used too.

IMHO the original calling out should have be done by PM and let the thread remain what it was.

Yeah, I'm pretty certain this isn't driving anyone (regs or new members) away. These types of boards run their course and different distractions, like Facebook, take their place.

beacooker
02-19-2011, 12:51 PM
Well, one must have been residing beneath a boulder to not have had knowledge of the ability to not affront someone by merely using an typographical symbol.:)

Love it! :)

Shugness
02-19-2011, 02:36 PM
In my opinion, the calling out was way more rude than calling an area a *hick* town.

Robyn1007
02-19-2011, 02:48 PM
In my opinion, the calling out was way more rude than calling an area a *hick* town.

Wait, so you think that people should just be allowed to be flat out offensive? To me, that's the problem, we let people who are that way get away with it. It's how schoolyard bullies gain their power. If people spoke up for what they believed wrong more in this world I think it would be a much better place.

leebee
02-19-2011, 02:59 PM
Wait, so you think that people should just be allowed to be flat out offensive? To me, that's the problem, we let people who are that way get away with it. It's how schoolyard bullies gain their power. If people spoke up for what they believed wrong more in this world I think it would be a much better place.

I come from the hickenest town in the world, and it wouldn't offend me to be called that. If an individual is offended, then that's one thing, but it's not a blanket thing. It only means someone raised in a rural area to me--I know many people see it as a more offensive term, but I agree that the reaction was rude as well, but there's a history there, too. It may have been better for someone offended to say, "You know, I see what you mean, but that's an offensive word." Point better made, maybe.

JMM74
02-19-2011, 04:16 PM
To each thier own. :) Course, this is coming from a proud hick (who happens to like good food and intelligent banter), so take it with a grain of salt. One of them new fangled flavored ones. Coarsly ground, thank you. ;)

Robyn1007
02-19-2011, 04:34 PM
Yeah, I'm pretty certain this isn't driving anyone (regs or new members) away. These types of boards run their course and different distractions, like Facebook, take their place.

I believe one of the reasons that some members are not as active is because they are criticized simply for disagreeing with statements. When this board was in it's height of activity (there were times when topics could drop back to page 2 or 3 in a single day) there was quite a bit of discussion and disagreement but it was done with civility and nobody was criticized simply for the fact that they disagreed. Nobody was told they were rude for disagreeing with another person's statement. Whether or not the term "hick" is offensive to some and not others isn't my point, the point is that one can't state that they found it offensive without being called rude for doing so.

Shugness
02-19-2011, 04:40 PM
Wait, so you think that people should just be allowed to be flat out offensive? To me, that's the problem, we let people who are that way get away with it. It's how schoolyard bullies gain their power. If people spoke up for what they believed wrong more in this world I think it would be a much better place.

It wasn't flat out offensive in my opinion. To me, if more people would learn to lighten up and not take the slightest little thing personally, then the world would be a much better place.

fci5767
02-19-2011, 04:42 PM
I was one who took offense but I wasn't trying to jump down anyone's throat. The person who used that term isn't even the person who adopted the child. I find it shocking that someone would deliberately search for someone from a "hick town" when they are looking to adopt. I spend a lot of time on a pretty PC adoption board so stuff like that stands out to me, even when it's not intended to be offensive.

FLFlygirl
02-19-2011, 05:16 PM
Although I am a relative new-comer, low post count type, I am a long-time lurker. I joined this board long after the pissing match teams were drawn. But after a while it was obvious to me who is on who's team. I hesitated joining for a long time for just that reason.

To me, it is predictable that when one "controversial" person or another says something, the same one or two others will pounce - no matter the topic. Before I am done reading a particular person's post, I know who will be responding with what type of comment. I don't know why the pissing match started, I wasn't here then, so I really don't care; but the predictability and pettiness of the vitriol is something to keep in mind.

Just my .02.

Hammster
02-19-2011, 06:09 PM
Robyn, I hear you. I know sometimes I get fed up with some of the nonsense. Not enough to leave for good though. There are a few people that are here, but not on Facebook, that I do enjoy "seeing" so it keeps me coming back.
I know I used to come here first before going to Facebook, but now I definitely go to Facebook first. I think things changed a bit for me when I no longer subscribed to Cooking Light, the Game of the Week game ended and the supper club I was in broke up.
I also tend to come here to search for recipes. I don't find the search function super difficult, although it can be frustrating, so I'm able to find what I want generally pretty easy. But, I do have the Google search feature on my favorites just in case.
However, for ease of communication, Facebook wins hands down. Plus it's nice to be able to upload a full size pic from hard drive and not have to go through a photo hosting site to get a picture larger than a postage stamp to show.
But I think a lot of this overall slowdown is just due to different interests, wanting to make a bit of a change, things like that.

leebee
02-19-2011, 06:13 PM
I was one who took offense but I wasn't trying to jump down anyone's throat. The person who used that term isn't even the person who adopted the child. I find it shocking that someone would deliberately search for someone from a "hick town" when they are looking to adopt. I spend a lot of time on a pretty PC adoption board so stuff like that stands out to me, even when it's not intended to be offensive.

I don't think it was your reaction that we're talking about. At least I'm not.

And, as far as asterisks ar concerned, they are a mark used to indicate italics when italics or bold can't be used. Quotes are more common in print, but asterisks are acceptable.

sneezles
02-19-2011, 06:17 PM
First of all the use of the word hick in place of rural is insulting to me. It's my opinion and I have the right to express it. If you don't find it so then that's your opinion...doesn't make mine wrong, doesn't make yours wrong.

She is the one who called me dense for not knowing her use of asterisks was fairly commonplace...not only news to me but apparently others as well. I find it difficult to understand how her attack on me seems justified by some of you.

I live in a rural area and certainly don't classify myself, my family or my neighbors as hicks. Some are less educated and others quite educated, none of them hicks by description given by the OP.

leebee
02-19-2011, 06:34 PM
First of all the use of the word hick in place of rural is insulting to me. It's my opinion and I have the right to express it. If you don't find it so then that's your opinion...doesn't make mine wrong, doesn't make yours wrong.

She is the one who called me dense for not knowing her use of asterisks was fairly commonplace...not only news to me but apparently others as well. I find it difficult to understand how her attack on me seems justified by some of you.

I live in a rural area and certainly don't classify myself, my family or my neighbors as hicks. Some are less educated and others quite educated, none of them hicks by description given by the OP.

You have every right to your opinion. However, it sounded as though you came out swinging. I don't think I'm the only one that felt that.

In my hometown there was a higher incidence of teen pregnancy than national averages (bored kids, empty barns, little supervison). There are bright people and educated people, but an equal number of youngsters that just don't think.

Hammster
02-19-2011, 06:52 PM
I think part of what bothered me was that that part of the post really had nothing to do with the thread. And to use words that would inflame some just really is insensitive and seemingly uncaring. Uncalled for, really. I know I've said things on this board that weren't appreciated. However, I learn from it and strive to avoid saying it again or at least say it in a different way. Sometimes we just don't think, but I think that person who posted the hick comment is very thoughtful in thought, but lacking in sense to stop using words and comments in that way.

Not worded very well, but I think I got what I was trying to say out there.

And to Sneezle's reply, I'm in agreement with that. Try to bring direct attention to the issue so that it might not happen again.

Oh yeah, if something is quasi-ironic, doesn't that mean it's also somewhat serious? To me those asterisks, quotes, italics do nothing but draw attention and emphasis to the word.

beacooker
02-19-2011, 06:59 PM
Guess I didn't think very far ahead when I started this thread - I just thought that the asterisk defense was hilarious, no matter what anyone's opinion about what happened on the other thread. But, I guess that was naive on my part - it probably was inevitable that the thread would turn to that. I apologize to Susan - I didn't mean for this to turn into a thread about you and whether people agreed with what you said or not.

Part of the reason I don't participate much anymore is that the conversations that I tend to find interesting are the ones that tend to cause disagreement - politics, race, etc. I love to hear other people's opinions, whether or not I agree with them. However, I find that for the past few years, any conversation like that that starts ends up being dominated by the same person, who posts her opinion over and over, and bullies (unintentionally, I think) anyone who doesn't agree with her. That's not fun for anyone, except her I guess. :(

Blissful_in_TX
02-19-2011, 07:12 PM
FWIW beacooker, I thought your post was hilarious...I really did :D
And for that I give you a *pat on the back*

See ladies and gentlemen.... THAT is the proper use of asterisk in forums (not to be confused with "____")

tbb113
02-19-2011, 09:21 PM
I know that certain people have stopped posting in the past because of the tone the board took sometimes. I know that some people get involved in other things and stop posting. I know that interests change so people stop posting.

All I was trying to say was there is a PM function if you feel the need to respond to a post that offends you. I've been PM'd in the past over a post (would be hard not to after all this time and posts that I've done).

I purposely didn't name names or threads in my post about it here. I figured those of us who already knew, knew ;)

All, I'm saying was it didn't add anything to the discussion of the original thread and it does make me less inclined to spend time on here. Which is a shame because in general, I LOVE being here :)

Robyncz
02-19-2011, 11:31 PM
Not that anyone cares, but I found the original "hick" post insulting, too. Sure, the poster may have meant "rural" and she could easily have written "rural," but she didn't. She wrote "hick" and then called attention to it with asterisks. Using a word like "hick" in place of "rural" IS derogatory, whether or not anyone chooses to take offense. Derogatory category labels ("hick," "f@g," and "n. . .r in place of "black") are used for very distinct sociolingustic purposes of stereotyping and outgrouping. Sociolinguistically speaking, whether or not those purposes were intended by the person who uses the words is largely irrelevant.

I thought long and hard about saying something after I read the "hick" post, but I ultimately chose not to because 1) it wasn't relevant to what was otherwise a very personal thread; 2) history has shown that the person who posted the derogatory language certainly wasn't going to change her behavior or even acknowledge that she might possibly be in the wrong; 3) I'd be accused of attacking her by calling her out. Instead I wondered to myself how the poster, who is clearly extremely intelligent and well informed in so many areas, can be so completely *clueless* about how her responses come across.

And in case there is any question, I used asterisks there to emphasize the word "clueless," not to render it meaningless.

Mary Ann
02-20-2011, 04:57 AM
I thought long and hard about saying something after I read the "hick" post, but I ultimately chose not to because 1) it wasn't relevant to what was otherwise a very personal thread; 2) history has shown that the person who posted the derogatory language certainly wasn't going to change her behavior or even acknowledge that she might possibly be in the wrong; 3) I'd be accused of attacking her by calling her out. Instead I wondered to myself how the poster, who is clearly extremely intelligent and well informed in so many areas, can be so completely *clueless* about how her responses come across.



Couldn't agree more. Those of us who have been around for a long time have seen this played out on more than one occasion.:(




Part of the reason I don't participate much anymore is that the conversations that I tend to find interesting are the ones that tend to cause disagreement - politics, race, etc. I love to hear other people's opinions, whether or not I agree with them. However, I find that for the past few years, any conversation like that that starts ends up being dominated by the same person, who posts her opinion over and over, and bullies (unintentionally, I think) anyone who doesn't agree with her. That's not fun for anyone, except her I guess. :(

Also agree with this. It's apparently okay to post article upon article from the Huffington Post or the New York Times , but one had better not post something from Fox News or one will regret it.:rolleyes:

ClaraB
02-20-2011, 03:38 PM
I believe one of the reasons that some members are not as active is because they are criticized simply for disagreeing with statements. When this board was in it's height of activity (there were times when topics could drop back to page 2 or 3 in a single day) there was quite a bit of discussion and disagreement but it was done with civility and nobody was criticized simply for the fact that they disagreed. Nobody was told they were rude for disagreeing with another person's statement. Whether or not the term "hick" is offensive to some and not others isn't my point, the point is that one can't state that they found it offensive without being called rude for doing so.

I'd disagree with this. I don't think the board is any more uncivil now than it's been in the past - there have been flamers ever since I became a member here over 10 years ago. I do think the vast majority of posts are very civil, though, and it is probably one of the more well-behaved BBs on the net. I just think that Facebook is generally replacing the BB concept generally.

SusanMac
02-20-2011, 03:59 PM
Clara & Hammster - or anyone - Why do you guys think that FB offers a better communication experience than BB? I've seen that mentioned a few times & am curious. I think a BB lends itself to more actual discussion.

I'm on FB and really love it. But, I come to BBs for different conversation style. I like the threads, listed by topic, that you can pick & choose. I'm also in control of when I spend time on a particular thread (vs it being served up to me). I feel like I'm at liberty to say more on a BB (FB, while not limited like Twitter, is still meant for short blurbs). And FB, for me anyway, is more personal, to a degree. I'm only FB friends with people I actually know IRL (this is just a personal rule. i know a lot of people open FB up more.) It's fun making friends on the BB, but it's still virtual.

P.S. sorry....no mentions of asterisks or hicks :-)

fci5767
02-20-2011, 04:10 PM
I think it depends how people are using Facebook. I'm part of a private FB group (invitation only and not searchable) with a group of friends who I met on another board. We're also the typical FB friends but our private group operates like a BB operates.

Terri_A
02-20-2011, 06:22 PM
I very rarely post to the CLBB these days. There were several things that drove me to back off and not post or read as much. This board is not even remotely what it was like 10 years ago or even 5 years ago. It used to be that the majority of posts were food related and although our personal lives spilled over and we got to know other posters as people and in some cases friends, the glue that made it all stick was a true love of food, cooking and learning about both.

In recent years the level of opinion statements has amped up and become a bit more aggressive than I would like in a venue such as this. If this were a political BB, or other such topic I would expect it, but I tend to not like bickering at the dinner table, so I've backed away.

Take my words as you will, but I believe the longer a group lets one or more individuals be meanspirited without calling that person into check the smaller their group will become. I would go so far as to say we've already seen that on this BB as the number of posts each day is severely smaller than it was in years past.

I still pop in from time to time, but I'm much more selective about the threads and topics that I read and post about. I come here for food, not fights.

KristiB
02-21-2011, 04:36 AM
Yeah, I'm pretty certain this isn't driving anyone (regs or new members) away. These types of boards run their course and different distractions, like Facebook, take their place.

Yep. I just got busy...

Hammster
02-21-2011, 07:25 AM
Clara & Hammster - or anyone - Why do you guys think that FB offers a better communication experience than BB? I've seen that mentioned a few times & am curious. I think a BB lends itself to more actual discussion.

I like Facebook's interface better. It seems more "natural". One just types instead of having to open up an editing window. I don't have a problem with discussions either since when a post is made in a discussion I've commented in I get that notification at the top of the FB page. Click on that, and you are at the discussion. No need to scroll around to find the individual discussion. I like that a picture can be uploaded directly from hard drive in a size that one can view. In this message board, one has to use a picture sharing type site to share anything larger than a postage stamp. If uploading a pic from hard drive to this site in a message, those images are usually resized to a pretty small size.
Groups can be created in FB and can be kept private and members only allowed via invitation. A cousin set one up for our family and only our family so we can discuss things we might not want the rest of the world to see. It's better than PM because you don't have to type in a bunch of names before sending a message. Just type the message in the FB group and all members of the group see the message. PM can also be sent on Facebook.
Searching is pretty much non-existent over there, but documents can be created and stored in such a way that the group can see the documents so recipes can be shared with the group in that manner.
Searching is better over here. I don't have a huge problem using the advanced search function here, and the Google search also helps.

HTH.

SusanMac
02-22-2011, 11:50 AM
Interesting feedback. I haven't used FB for private sub-groups.

Thx for the info. That is one of the cool things about FB....everyone can approach it differently (I don't do any of the games, for example, but I know they're hugely popular)

charley
02-22-2011, 12:40 PM
In recent years the level of opinion statements has amped up and become a bit more aggressive than I would like in a venue such as this. If this were a political BB, or other such topic I would expect it, but I tend to not like bickering at the dinner table, so I've backed away.

Take my words as you will, but I believe the longer a group lets one or more individuals be meanspirited without calling that person into check the smaller their group will become. I would go so far as to say we've already seen that on this BB as the number of posts each day is severely smaller than it was in years past.



The one thing I appreciate about this board is the level of maturity most people exhibit. There's none of the running to moderators to tattle that exists on many other boards. I actually like that there aren't mega pages of threads to scroll through each day.