Pregnancy: am I just a control freak??

[mightyh]

I've been reading the pregnancy threads with much interest cause hearing about babies is just so darn cute! It's making me consider having another one myself.

Here's the issue... I don't fit the apparently "normal" pattern of just going off the pill and letting it happen when it happens. Possibly the side effect of having too much medical knowledge (my DH is a doc). When we started TTC our first son, I knew exactly what day my last period was, approximately when my fertile time was, exactly when to check if I was pregnant. I had been off the pill the "requisite" three months, on vitamins for a while, had given up wine, caffeine, soft cheeses (my major downfall--I miss them SO much when pregnant, but DH just got another patient info leaflet from CDC reinforcing this rule :(), and the like, had started exercising more lightly, had stopped taking anything but Tylenol, etc.

HELP! I want to just let it happen when it happens, but I worry that I will have eaten a piece of blue cheese or taken a DayQuil before I know I am pregnant and that I would worry about it for the next nine months.

What precautions (or lack thereof) do you take when you decide you'd like to become pregnant? Am I the only one who is this anal retentive??

[Leslie w]

With both pregnancies (My dd was 5 months old when I got pregnant again) I really didn't take any precautions prenatally. I didn't give up caffeine, didn't take my vitamins every day (vitamins give me such indigestion!), drank a glass of wine or two and never watched my diet. I gave birth to two healthy kids. Of course I followed doctors advice once I found out I was pregnant but by then I was almost out of my first trimester. Of course its always best to give your baby a healthy start but I wouldn't obsess over it. I would avoid certain meds like aspirin and ibuprofen which can cause problems in the first trimester but as far as everything else is concerned, IMO, moderation is key until you're sure you're pregnant. Most of all relax!

[Grace]

I would agree. Healthy babies have been being born for 10,000 years, and for 9,960 of those years, they didn't know all the stuff we know now!

Careful is one thing, obsessive is another. Your baby will be healthier if you're not STRESSED!! :D

[clairea]

I agree that if you can let go of some of these issues you will probably be less stressed, and that is good. However, I will reassure you that you are not the only one who is this way. With both of my pregnancies I spent huge amounts of time before I was pregnant (and before I knew I was pregnant) worrying about what I should or shouldn't do, when was the right time to conceive, etc. In my case my natural tendency to want to control things was probably aggravated by the fact that I had been told by several doctors, since the time I was 20, that I would probably never conceive (just shows you that medical science is not exact -- I conceived the first month with baby #1 and the second month with baby #2 :) ), but I think I would have been the same anyway. Even after I got pregnant so easily the first time I worried just as much the second time. Maybe trying to control as many issues as you can relating to conception/pregnancy is just your way of dealing with this situation, where there are so many things that are completely beyond your control. If you can relax a little, great, but if it stresses you out even more to try to give up control over the issues you can control, I wouldn't worry about it.

Claire

[Jen]

I have to laugh - I don't have any kids yet, but you sound like you're describing me! I'm a natural worrier, and I know that when I'm pregnant (maybe the end of this year or the beginning of 2003) I will spend a lot of time worrying about dumb stuff. Therefore, I've already decided that I'll be careful from the beginning, not because I think I'll have problems otherwise, but because I just know myself and I'd rather not give myself anything extra to worry about for 9 months! I'm going off the pill this spring (for other reasons, not because we're ready for a baby yet) and I think at that time I'll just do the whole nine yards - prenatals, cutting out certain foods, etc. It's good for me anyway, so it can't hurt right? And it will just give me less to worry about. DH and I are planning a trip to Europe next summer, and I'm terrified I'll get pregnant and won't be able to go! (This is pretty much a one-shot deal for us - we may never get another opportunity so I don't want to miss it!). I wanted to go off the pill earlier, but I've heard too many stories of people getting pregnant right off it - even with other birth control - so I don't want to risk it. I asked my dr when the latest time was I could stop the pill and still go to Europe if I got pg by accident! So March it is!

Anyway, sorry to go a bit off topic...but believe me, you're not the only one who feels this way! I work in the medical field too, and I think it's harder to know exactly how/why everything is happening because you really understand how easy it is for something to go wrong! It's nice to hear that I'm not the only "control freak" out there!!

[MrsReber]

My sister had no idea she was pregnant when she consumed almost and entire bottle of tequila at her 30th birthday party. Ooops! No harm done. She has a very smart, healthy little boy. You can drive yourself crazy taking precautions. I normally don't drink caffiene and I don't drink alot of alcohol either. When I did become pregnant (and didn't know it) it was right around Labor Day weekend so I was having a few drinks at the couple of parties we went to. I did give up alcohol completely after I realized I was pregnant. Soft cheeses!?!?! Never!!! I did still eat brie and blue cheese, but in moderation. I would have blue cheese dressing on my salad and maybe a little bit of brie with some crackers. I didn't eat it everyday,either. There were other things that I was still eating that I didn't even know I was supposed to avoid- someone said bean sprouts were no good. I LOVE bean sprouts on my salad and would get them at the salad bar at our company cafeteria.

I agree with Grace. They won't ever know all the dangers and all the things that pregnant women should avoid. We just do the best we can to be healthy and that usually does the trick!

[erinl]

I've never considered myself much of a control freak, but I certainly became one while ttc. It actually relaxed me to completely cut out caffeine and alcohol and chart my temps and know exactly when I would ovulate. I liked that little bit of control.

[BosunsWife]

Sounds like you are stressing just a bit too much.

I gave up alcohol (and believe me some people actually look at me like I have two heads when I tell them this), all prescription drugs (bad allergies) and take/took only Tylenol. Other than that I didn't really worry about it. When we were trying to conceive DD, I just had gotten my period for the second time and thought what the heck I was going to a Jimmy Buffet concert and had as much as I wanted to drink. I got pregnant during my fertile period about a week later! Wonder if there was anything to it?

I also took my prenatals/folic acid and everything in my first pregnancy was fine and I'm doing the same this time and don't expect any different results.

My doctor last time said no raw fish and my doctor here said California Roll and sashimi (tuna) in limited amounts. I think every doctor is different. I will be having California Rolls maybe twice a month, but no raw tuna. My doctor here did tell me he would rather I not eat canned tuna but fresh since you don't know where the canned tuna came from (mercury levels).

The alcohol thing is met with differing views. I was at a Creative Memories crop the other night and someone offered me a beer and I declined saying I was pregnant. The woman went off on how one beer wasn't going to give the baby fetal alcohol syndrome, etc. I was really kind of offended. Maybe she wanted to take the risks, but I have enough going against me with age, I just don't want to factor in any other risks. I took my cropping supplies and sat at another table!

Good luck!

[MrsReber]

Bosunswife- that is so rude that that woman went off about the beer! It's none of her business at all and it's entirely up to you how to take care of your own body. I have read about fetal alchol syndrome and they do suggest that one drink may in fact harm a baby. I'm not willing to take that risk, especially in the beginning of a pregnancy. If I were going to drink at all (which I didn't before and I won't this time) it would be toward the very end of the pregnancy. Some people just don't know how to keep their dumb thoughts to themselves!! (Sorry- hormonal moment)