When did you "know"......

[JenZen]

Valentine's discussions are beginning, so here's my contribution: When, or how, did you know you were in love?

Sappy, yes, but appropriate, don't you think?

[Angela]

My heart would pitter-patter!!

I had just started a new job and was developing a friendship with one of my male co-workers. Next thing I knew everytime he would walk into my area my heart would do summersaults and start beating really fast! I even started drinking coffee in the mornings!! He's a coffee addict and I'd go to the coffee pot about the time I knew he was getting to work just so I could see him and hopefully talk to him. I realized one day that I was doing this because I had a major crush. A group of us from work started going out after work on Friday's, one Friday no one was able to go out, just John and I. So he asked if I would like to go out with just him and I jumped at the chance.

The rest is history. We've been dating a year now and like some of you know I'm waiting for that special question to be asked!! I know it's coming soon, just have no idea when or how!

[Jewel]

This is going to sound incredibly simplistic, but I knew Dave was the one when I didn't look at other men and wonder... 'what if'? Stay with me here for a minute. :rolleyes: I used to be what I affectionately called a 'Mind Slut'. Whether I was in a relationship or not, dating someone steadily or just seeing a few guys, whatever...I could see a guy, like the UPS driver, or the construction worker I passed on the way to work, or the waiter at dinner...and I would think "I wonder what he would be like..." Even if I was in a committed relationship and happy I always played that "I wonder" game with guys I saw. I NEVER acted on those thoughts (hence the term 'Mind Slut') but I never stopped HAVING those thoughts.

Dave and I had been together for about two months when it hit me that I didn't do that anymore! :eek: Construction workers, waiters, UPS Drivers and the guy that bagged my groceries at the local Safeway were safe once again. ;) I realized that I didn't need to wonder anymore about how another man would be. I had the only one that I needed. In fact, to this day I find myself looking at my husband when we're at an Antique Show or wandering around a Flea Market with the same look on my face that I used to reserve for those phantom 'I wonder' sessions. ;)

[MrsReber]

Jewel, you are so right! I didn't even look at other men. After more than 5 years, I still can't wait to see my DH at the end of the day. I always thought I'd never be able to get married because I could not stand the thought of looking at the same man every morning when I woke up. I figured I'd end up smothering some guy in his sleep one night. I'd wake up and think "ahhh! He's still here?!?!" and that would be it. With DH, I always wanted to be with him. Sounds corny, but the first time I was at his house, I had this odd feeling that I was finally home and that I belonged there. Nothing else mattered to me except that we were together. And it's still that way :).

[JoanneOR]

I'm sorry, Mrs. Reber, but I just have to ask, was this before or after you met your MIL?! :)

[JenZen]

Ok, my turn. I guess everything is still new to me because this is the first really serious relationship I've been in. I just know I love him because the world is empty otherwise. I used to love solitude more. Now, it just feels incomplete. I don't need him to be entertaining me all the time or holding me, I just want him in the same room. Even if we're just watching TV, it's better when he's sitting in his blue lazy boy.

When he hugs me, it feels like the comfort of a warm blanket. I just don't think anymore .... :)

[lisas3575]

Originally posted by Jewel
This is going to sound incredibly simplistic, but I knew Dave was the one when I didn't look at other men and wonder... 'what if'?

OMG Jewel!!! Another Twilight Zone moment. I've thought of this so often with Cory, and had never shared it with another soul because I felt like a tart (ok, not a tart, but you get the idea ;). This is so true for me. I have no interest, passing or otherwise, in anyone else, which wasn't the case with my XH ever.

I'd rather spend my time with Cory than with anyone else. Sappy, but I really miss him whenever we're not together, even just during the workday. He's my best friend.

(Apologies to anyone who's now ralphing in the wastebasket! :D)

[Jewel]

Originally posted by MrsReber
Jewel, you are so right! I didn't even look at other men. After more than 5 years, I still can't wait to see my DH at the end of the day.

I forgot Susan! You're the other 'SWOONER!' :D:D:D

[JHolcomb]

I knew it was more than a physical thing when (and I hope this doesn't sound Oedipal) I got the same feeling of love and comfort that I got when I thought about my dad-that comfortable, satisfied, oh-so-happy feeling of knowing without a doubt someone loves you as much as you love them. I got that squishy swell in my throat you get when you imagine life without someone you love. Aaah...requited, unconditional love. Then I met his family and loved them too and realized this was where I belonged. And he didn't run in terror when he met my family. That was when I knew.

Oh, and I just totally stopped paying attention to other men, too. And is it just me, or do men hit on you more when you're attached?

[Peggy C.]

We just seemed to fit together...nothing wild and crazy, things just seemed right. I don't think either of us ever looked back after our first date, and that was 10 years ago last week!

[Jewel]

Originally posted by lisas3575
OMG Jewel!!! Another Twilight Zone moment. I've thought of this so often with Cory, and had never shared it with another soul because I felt like a tart!

We weren't tarts....we were 'Mind Sluts'! :eek:

[JanetJ]

Ok, this will be super sappy:

My BF and I really got to know each other at a work conference in Orlando, Florida. We hit it off there and once back in Washington realized there was something real between us. So...I knew he was something special when a bunch of us were walking through a big crowd of people and he reached back for my hand to guide me. I knew he was special when he walked me to my hotel room every night (after many, many trips to the open bar) just to make sure I was ok. I knew he was special when the morning we left (at 5am with a major hangover) he carried my bags though he was probably feeling worse than I was.

I knew I loved him when he told me my dog could live with him (long story, but my roommate at the time didn't like animals) and when I couldn't imagine being without him. When I hear his voice on the other end of the line I get excited, I can't wait to see him at night and I can't believe I AM the lucky girl that gets to fall asleep next to this man every night and wake up with him every morning and to top it all off......he feels the same way!

Ok, dry your eyes and back to work! :)

[Vanessa]

Dh and I became friends and I guess we fell in love. But the moment I realized it was when I was not interested in any other guys. Funny but while dating DH 3 guys I had dated started calling etc. This guy I had really liked called and when I saw DH sitting on the LR very sure of himself although this guy was calling long distance. I told the guy that I was serious with someone and good bye.
Now that I think about it DH & I got along great talked for hrs and had so much fun I always knew deep down he was the one.
The only thing that worried me was he wanted to move (I did not) but in the end he was right moving turned out to be a wise choice. Someone mentioned that feeling of safe and comfort. I always felt very at ease and felt I could trust DH. I think our hearts let us know when we meet "the one" :)

[JenZen]

And by the way, Al was a little less romantic. I asked him when he knew and he said: "I knew I loved you when I acted like a goober and you didn't care."

I still smiled. :)

[Shirley Ekstein]

After 35 years.

Now, I'm sure.

[boisewinesnob]

Originally posted by Shirley Ekstein
After 35 years.

Now, I'm sure.

Shirley,
thank you for letting me know I am not the only "newlywed" on the board!!! Of course, I am only at 15 yrs of marriage and have been with DH for almost 17, so I have a few to go to catch up with you.
It all seems a little more hazy after so many years, but as everyone pointed out (and reminded me) I also didn't look at any other guys when DH and I got together. Also, we broke up for about 6 months at one point before we were engaged and I could not stop thinking about him. I even called an "interim" guy by DH's name, right in front of my dad!! They both said "who!!!!" And I didn't even know I had said the wrong name. Talk about Fruedian slip ;) ; I knew there would be no getting over him and soon after got back together :) .

Suzy

[kwormann]

Easy...Scott told me he loved me exactally one week after our first date...and I agreed (coincidentally, our first date (and wedding anniversary) was February 12th....:D)

[KValley]

About a month after we began dating, DH and I drove from Ellensburg over Snoqualmie Pass to Seattle for a concert. I had made that 100 mile journey countless times- could have done it with my eyes closed, and after that trip with DH I wondered if I had. I had never noticed wildlife (other than roadkill :o ) on that trip before, but DH pointed out elk, deer, a coyote, a pair of eagles- all visible if you knew how to look.

To me, it was the perfect metaphor for the type of man he is - someone who sees what others can not or choose not to, who has patience, depth, and a joy for life. No question about it, at that moment I knew he was the one- we married four months later.

He filled me with a deep sense of peace and I recognized that I had found my best friend. There was nothing earthshattering, I wasn't swept off of my feet. In fact, with him I felt more grounded and more like me than I had ever felt.

Ten years later, I know I am a better person for having him in my life.

[beckms]

Nate was the friend I went to when I was having major problems with my then-boyrfiend of 3 years. I didn't know it, but Nate was in love with me that whole time, even while he was encouraging me to be confident and work it out with my boyfriend. When I asked him about it later, about how he could stand telling me to go back to the guy instead of telling me to break up with him (which I eventually did, obviously), Nate said that he loved me so much that all he wanted was for me to be happy, even if that meant never having the chance to be with me. <aaaawww>

Long story short, I came to my senses and dumped the guy for Nate, and we've been together for over 4 years now.

We finish each others' sentences. We laugh at each others' jokes. He eats vegetables because I cooked them. I follow Ultimate Frisbee because that's his sport. He learned how to ride a bike for the first time at age 22 so he could go on a bike ride around New England with me. There's no one I would rather sit around and do nothing with than him. It's the little things that let you know that you love someone, and the little things that let you know that they love you (who else would encourage my BB habit by buying MasterCook 6.0 for Christmas? only someone who loves me).

Most important to me, though, is that I've retained a sense of "myself" while still allowing my life to be totally intertwined with his. I made the mistake of "losing myself" in my last relationship, so that when we broke up, I had practically no identity anymore, and that scared me a lot.

I think that people can only say they are truly in love after they've passed the point in the relationship when everything is all smoochy and gooey and lovey-dovey...when you love each other in spite of the bed-head and morning-breath and stinky feet and annoying habits and PMS and there's-something-gross-hanging-out-of-your-nose and all the rest....when they reach that sort of comfort level and STILL only want to be with each other, that's the full-blown real thing.

Of course, to each his or her own, right? :p

[MrsReber]

Joanne- you crack me up! Of course, it was before I met my MIL!! Actually, she was great for a long time. It seemed that right before we got married, she turned weird. Jealousy maybe?? I took her baby away??

KValley- I could've written the same thing you did! How many times I'd drive down the road and not see things. Then DH came along and all of a sudden there's geese and deer and rabbits. Wow! I totally agree- he's someone who knows how to see things that others can't see. Also, I'm not sure there's another woman out there who'd put up with him ;)! He likes to do his own thing and go out in the woods for hours (he does hunt), but that's what makes him who he is. He is unique and wonderful. I find him incredibly attractive, too. I don't even care what others think of him, he's mine and I love him.

Yes, Jewel, I'm the other swooner! When DH calls me at work, I am so happy to hear his voice on the other end of the phone and sort of sad when we hang up. Sickening, I know. Hopelessly in love. I hope it lasts forever- and his bedhead is the worst I've ever seen!

[Jewel]

Originally posted by MrsReber
Yes, Jewel, I'm the other swooner! When DH calls me at work, I am so happy to hear his voice on the other end of the phone and sort of sad when we hang up. Sickening, I know. Hopelessly in love. I hope it lasts forever-

Just think Girlfriend...how many women out there are lucky enough to have the kind of love that makes others lose their lunch? Kinda makes you feel special, huh? :D I know I do...

[luv2run]

Okay. Here's a confession. I "knew" DH was "the one" two years after we were married. We met when we were both very young (late teens) and dated through college. When we married at age 21 for me, 23 for him, I was not sure it would last. Yes, I had all the usual romantic feelings but it wasn't until we were married for a couple of years that I truly knew he was the one.

He showed me how incredible it was to have a best friend, soulmate, companion and love all wrapped up into one person. At last, being a fiercely independent person, I didn't mind being taken care of emotionally and physically when needed.

I cannot imagine my life without him. We have been married 14 years and have two beautiful children. He has supported me through every good and bad time in my life.

I would not advise anyone to get married without definitely knowing but that's how it worked for me.

:cool:

[sassafras]

On our first date, I just knew. I was so comfortable! His name is Steve and I asked him how his name was spelled (Stephen or Steven) on his birth CONTROL!!! I meant to say birth certificate and thought maybe he didn't hear my slip, but he burst out laughing and made me laugh. Soon the whole restaurant was looking over at us. We still laugh about it. We were married one year to the day later.

I know it's cliche. But when you know, you just know. At least that's how it was for me;)

[Shirley Ekstein]

For Suzy - (boisewinesnob)

Ah - but what fun you're going to have during the next 18 years!