Thoughtful or Meaningful Gift for Somone Turning 50 [Archive]

Peggy

03-04-2002, 11:17 AM

A work friend of mine is turning 50 next week and I wanted to get her a nice gift to commemorate the occasion. I want to avoid anything that pokes fun at getting older. I'm looking for something more meaningful, like a book about the positive side of aging... women only getting better, etc. You get the idea. Anyone have any suggestions for a book or something else that might be appropriate?? Thanks so much in advance for any ideas!

Peggy

RebeccaT

03-04-2002, 11:23 AM

When I am an Old Woman I Shall Wear Purple

My grandmother and my MIL have both LOVED this book, and "I shall wear purple" has become my grandmother's mantra.

50 is hardly an "old woman," but these essays do commemorate life and living it to the fullest in a wonderful way - I stole my grandmother's copy when I was in my early 20's and I loved it too.

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0918949165/qid=1015266041/sr=8-1/ref=sr_8_129_1/102-3806949-8892147

HRJ

03-04-2002, 11:47 AM

I think it depends on the person.

I will be turning 41 this month, and I know how I felt when I turned 40, and I would have bitten someone's head off if they'd gotten me anything that had anything to do with "aging," no matter how positive or uplifting or well-intentioned the gift might have been.

But that's just me, and my attitude comes from circumstances specific to my life -- and I tend to have a cranky streak, anyway. Maybe I'll have a totally different attitude when I'm 50.

So, please make sure you're really tuned it with how this work friend is handling this birthday, emotionally and psychologically. You might just want to get her a really nice gift, that doesn't specifically connect to the "age" theme.

I know the book Rebecca is talking about -- my MIL (who will turn 87 on Wednesday, btw ... ) got it a few years ago and loves it, and it is a really nice book for people of all ages. But, I'd hesitate to get a 50-year-old anything with the word "old woman" in the title. Just in case.

Strictly my $.02

Helene

Jewel

03-04-2002, 12:13 PM

I'm kinda with Helene on this one...I'm turning 40 in July, and I've already warned friends and family that no jokes or mention of 'life begins at 40' should be mentioned. Even if it's a postive slant on aging, it's still something we don't really want to hear right then. She might honestly be thrilled that she can get the senior discount at IHOP, but we don't want to mention it ON her birthday! I went through this on my 30th birthday when I lived in California. My father left a box on my doorstep. I opened it to find a wonderful card saying that no matter how old I got, I would always be his little girl. Inside the box was another little card that says "Old people sometimes lose control" and it was on top of a box of Depends. :eek: My father... :rolleyes:

Any reference to age, whether it's pro or con could be very touchy. I would find out what she's into and find something that celebrates loving the life she leads! Does she enjoy cooking? Baking? BBQ? Get her a simple 4-pack Penzey's gift box. Does she like to relax? How 'bout a gift basket from Bath & Body works complete with candles and yummy smelling bubble bath, maybe for two! ;););). Does she need to get out and spend more quality time with her husband? Maybe a gift certificate (together with other co-workers) for a nice dinner-for-two. A wine basket with nice glasses would also thrill me!

I'd get her something to show her that she's entering a stage in her life where she can relax a bit...but that also reminds her that she's not on that plane to Florida just yet!

RebeccaT

03-04-2002, 12:29 PM

Sorry... hope I didn't offend... perhaps that book would be better for someone who is much older, or to buy for yourself... since I am still a young 'un, maybe it would have been better to let others answer...

Not usually this insecure about my posts, but I am really feeling bad about this one...

Jewel

03-04-2002, 12:58 PM

Shirley Ekstein

03-04-2002, 01:16 PM

Listen you lot - at nearly 55 I'm younger than ANY of you and I'm teling you, forget meaningful - if it's any help Peggy, next birthday I'd really really like either a pair of designer jeans or the biggest bouquet of sweet-smelling flowers that ever existed with a card saying 'We love you' - fifty times. (Sorry - 55 times!)

Oh well - maybe when I'm 60. . .

SandyM

03-04-2002, 01:27 PM

HAH! Shirley you absolutely are a STITCH!!! :D

And Rebecca - I love that poem. You did nothing wrong. No apology necessary.

I frankly can't wait to turn 40. :p

MKSquared

03-04-2002, 01:53 PM

If there's a certain hobby that your friend loves, you can definitely tie it in to the "50" theme. Do a little research to see where that hobby was at 50 years ago. Maybe look into buying a magazine from that time, and frame it?

My father loves to golf. When he turned 50, we threw a surprise party for him at a golf course. We had him play with a set of 50-year old clubs, and he had to use every club once -- including the left-handed wood! I know you wre looking for gift ideas, but maybe that might help you out? :)

LaraW

03-04-2002, 02:36 PM

I have a book called Chicken Soup for the Woman's Soul . It's not really about aging specifically, but is just about women in general. I love it!!!!

HRJ

03-04-2002, 02:38 PM

Originally posted by RebeccaT
Sorry... hope I didn't offend... perhaps that book would be better for someone who is much older, or to buy for yourself... since I am still a young 'un, maybe it would have been better to let others answer...

Not usually this insecure about my posts, but I am really feeling bad about this one...

No, please, Rebecca, don't apologize!! I really, really didn't want to make it seem like I was "dissing" your suggestion -- my intention was not to make you feel bad. Now I feel bad! :(

I just wasn't sure how old Peggy is, or how well she knows her work friend, and I just wanted to say that some people take these "milestone" birthdays harder than others.

Anyway, I'll stop before I dig myself in deeper.

And Shirley, when is the big day, and what address should the flowers go to?

Similar to MK's idea -- a good friend of mine turned 50 last year. She LOVES Lucille Ball (yes, she really loves Lucy...) DH and I found a framed cover from Life magazine from the early '60s that featured Lucy, and it was a big hit with my friend.

Helene

Peggy

03-04-2002, 03:20 PM

I really appreciate all of your opinions and views on this. The main reason I was thinking of a "thoughtful/meaningful it's great to be 50" kind if gift is that her husband is giving her a surprise birthday party and everyone else is planning to get her all of the mean getting old gifts (ie. Geritol, Depends, over the hill stuff) which frankly, I don't think is particularly funny. I've been discouraging people because I feel such gift giving can be insensitive, but they are going to do it anyway. I guess I was trying to balance out the other type of gifts and go along with the theme of "women only get better". Perhaps a good bottle of wine, a gift certificate or the pampering type gifts that Jewel suggested would be best.

Thanks so much for all your ideas!

Peggy

P.S. Rebecca - I just want to say that I have the book you suggested and I love it! An excellent suggestion...

Nirak

03-04-2002, 04:39 PM

Rebecca -- I saw a thing on tv about a group of women who meet for lunch once a month and wear purple hats. I believe they were inspired by that book.

Peggy:

Here is another off-the-wall book suggestion. Lynn Sherr did a biography on Susan B. Anthony called "In her own words" I think there was a subtitle "failure is impossible" but I might be mixing it up. I found it very inspirational and you could play on the strong woman theme without doing the aging woman theme. Anyway, I would love to recieve that book at any age!

Gail

03-04-2002, 07:11 PM

Thank those of you above for saying what I would've said if I'd been around today.

My next birthday will be my 50th, and while it sounds old even to me when I say it out loud, frankly I'm having a hard time assimilating the person in my head with the chronological age. From my point of view, I don't see 50 as a milestone, rather just another birthday-- and the only time I feel old is when I get treated that way.

I commend you on you efforts for trying to rise above the others, but in my opinion I wouldn't give anything which relates to aging--positive or negative-- rather I'd get her something you think she'd really, really like. Bring her something festive, music or flowers. Treat it like any other birthday and simply get her something you think she'll enjoy.

elli

03-05-2002, 04:49 AM

I am turning 50 this years long with my high school friends. I can't wait. I think it will be soo much fun.

As for the book 'When I am an Old Woman I shall Wear Purple', Great book, It celebrates women. I think everyone should read it or at least the poem that the book is based on. I have it framed in a purple frame.

We are not getting older only better!!:)

ewatkins

03-05-2002, 11:53 AM

Just wanted to second the idea that a lot depends on where this person is in her life. My mother was a grandma at 49 and maybe felt old. I just turned 50 and have a 9 and 12 year old, so I definitely don't feel old, nor I am " entering a new stage" where I can do what I want -- I'm still driving carpool and being class mom! That said, I would recommend Anne Lindbergh's book A Gift from the Sea -- it's sort of about finding yourself, no matter what age. An oldie, but a classic!

burgemc

03-05-2002, 12:51 PM

This looked cute:
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/039951936X/ref=pd_ecc_rvi_f/103-8380328-1766250

I followed a link off the other Amazon page that was posted. Again, I am not 50 yet and don't know about the age-appropriate idea, but this looked like a book I would like now! It's called: 100 Things I'm Not Going to Do Now That I'm over 50...sounds cute, but maybe something someone would buy as a present for themselves, not for others!

beejayw1

03-05-2002, 01:03 PM

Originally posted by Gail
From my point of view, I don't see 50 as a milestone, rather just another birthday-- and the only time I feel old is when I get treated that way.

Hear, hear!

I come from a long-lived family; it's hard to get upset about turning 40 or 50 or 60 when you have a grandfather who's 100. (Now, sadly, deceased.)

How about some caviar or a bottle of champagne?

I'd just get something pretty and useless (meaning non-utlitarian) like earrings, perfume, whatever: something that has nothing to do with her age and everything to do with something she might like.

Peggy C.

03-05-2002, 01:24 PM

I have a very dear friend who is 20years older than I am. When she turned 50, I sent her a beautiful bouguet of flowers, as Shirley also said she'd like, she wrote me the most appreciative letter, saying she enjoyed them more than any other gift she'd recieved. Her husband wouldn't spend money on flowers and after a while she stopped buying them herself, she'd forgotten what a truely simple pleasure they were.

sharon kopenski

03-05-2002, 06:38 PM

When I turned 50, my kids and husband send me $100 bouguet of flowers. It was HUGE and the talk of work. I loved it because it was fun and totally not practical. I think of those flowers often and always get a smile on my face. I also received both of the books mentioned here and they are both great, but not impractical. I gave my girlfriend a gift certificate to a lingere store that was a little wicked but fun. I think we should celebrate each of us as we age because we truely do get better. Our uniqueness is a joy. Your friend is lucky to have you in her life.

SusanL

03-06-2002, 03:47 AM

the flower idea!
Forty hit me really hard until DH reminded me that in our next running race, I would be youngest in my age group!! That made me feel better, so that when I soon turn 50~

beejayw1

03-07-2002, 07:58 AM

...and here's what I sent her:

http://www.proflowers.com/cfm/productDetail.cfm?pID=528&lng=&REF=&validAcc=&catID=fROS

I also wrote a very nice letter to her telling her how glad I am she's in my family, and how much I've enjoyed knowing her.

gobluem82

03-07-2002, 01:28 PM

We were invited to a good friend's 40th birthday party, and I didn't want to get a gag "over the hill" gift like everyone else, but I didn't want to be overly mushy, either. Since everyone always says she must be a saint for putting up with her husband, I ended up getting her a halo, which she proudly wore during the party.

Jen

03-09-2002, 08:04 PM

One neat thing I've seen is to buy an old Life magazine from the week your friend was born. It's not as tricky as it sounds - many used book stores have boxes of old Life magazines, and there's one store in our area that actually specializes in them. My parents bought one recently to take to a relative's retirement party - they bought a magazine from the week he started teaching, in 1968. They're really inexpensive; they make for lots of conversation at the party; they're good at making you reflect on how far you, and society in general, have come; and they would work really with with any other gift (flowers, gift basket, etc.) without breaking the bank.

Jen

03-09-2002, 08:07 PM

OK, wanted to add one more thing...

I know you're not planning the party, but for my dad's 50th we did something that worked really well. My dad is a huge reader - he practically lives at the library, and all the library ladies know his name - so when we sent out the invitations for his surprise party, we asked everyone to bring their favourite book as a gift (it could be a new or used copy). We also asked them to put their card or whatever inside the cover, instead of on the outside of the package. It was kind of fun, because he had to open each book and try to guess who brought it. Most people had a story about the book, how they'd found it, what it had meant to them, etc. At the end of the night, he had a huge pile of new books to read and some really special memories!

Peggy

03-10-2002, 10:48 AM

Jen,

I love the book idea!! I will file that one away for future reference.

Peggy

ChristineB

03-11-2002, 09:05 AM

What about a gift certificate to a local day spa or salon? Depending on your budget you could get anything from a manicure/pedicure to a facial or massage. What women doesn't love to be spoiled & made to feel special and beautiful!!

My best girlfriend gave me a gift certificate to a day spa for a European facial and I felt like I was walking on clouds for days afterwards--it was fantastic and such a treat that I wouldn't normally do for myself.

Christine

akairo

03-13-2002, 04:25 PM

I, too, love the book idea.

Jewel, your dad is hysterical. Although I am certain that it wasn't funny at the time.

As for the flowers, I am a true believer of, why give just a dozen when you can give them a rose bush that will keep giving for years. Wyntour has a coupon in the green section of the phone book for $5.00 off a 5 gal shrub; roses are included. And they have the most beautiful rose bushes right now. Or perhaps a gardenia.

I do embroidery on fabric. If you would like to personalize somwthing for her, ie table linens, bath linens, shirts etc let me know. I will do it for you at no charge. I have alot of designs to choose from; antique lace looks to a cute mouse stuck in a candy jar and everything in between. Think creative and put a little of your heart into it.

BTW want to get together for coffee?

Tamara

Peggy

03-14-2002, 09:03 AM

Originally posted by akairo

BTW want to get together for coffee?

Tamara

Tamara,

That would be fun! I would be very interesting in meeting you in person and seeing how you are adjusting to our area. Coffee, lunch, or perhaps a walk on one of our beautiful trails? The trick will be finding a time in our schedules when we are both free. I'll PM you!

Your offer to make something for my friend is very kind and generous. However, your time is valuable and you should definately charge for your efforts! It sounds like you have a wonderful talent. I received so many wonderful suggestions on this thread that I have already solved my gift dilemna, but thank you anyway.

Peggy