Friday groaners

[lisas3575]

Q: What do you get when you cross a turtle with a porcupine?

A: A slow poke.

 

Q: Why did the fig go out with the prune?

A: He couldn't find a date.

 

This guy has been working as a bag boy in a supermarket for five years. One day the supermarket gets new orange juice machines. When the bag boy hears about it, he gets very excited. He goes to the manager and asks if he can work the juice machines. The manager says no. The bagger says, "But I've been working here for five years. Why can't I run the juice machines? "The manager says, "I'm sorry, son, but baggers can't be juicers."

 

Q: Why did the magazine editor go see a shrink?

A: He had some issues.

 

Q: What did the necktie say to the hat?

A: "You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while."

[lhall]

BOO!

Leigh

[lisas3575]

You can't say I didn't warn ya! ;)

[lhall]

That's true, I was warned. I think you and my Dad have similar tastes in jokes.

Then again, they are better that the Knock Knock jokes DH taught DD1.

She tries to do the banana/orange you glad I didn't say banana, but gets it messed up all the time. The Boo Who? one isn't much better....but funny to watch

But,

Knock Knock!
Who's There?
Interrupting cow
Interrupting cow w??
Moo! Moo!

This works with all sorts of animals, and must be done alternately by each of use over and over again.

Leigh

[Gail]

Ugh.

I couldn't've done worse myself. ;)

[AndreaU]

Leigh- I LOVE the interrupting cow joke!!! Last summer, at camp, this little girl told us the joke and we were on the ground laughing so hard. I don't know why that's funny, but DH also bust a gut when I relayed the joke to him.

I actually like all these jokes- understand that I teach 5th graders, so that's right about where my mentality is at lately!

Here's MY all-time favorite:

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say banana?! :rolleyes:

[DmOrtega]

I'm not good at telling jokes, but someone sent this to me and I got a chuckle.

What to say when caught sleeping at your desk:

10. "They told me at the blood bank this might happen."

9. "This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in that time
management course you sent me to."

8. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the White-out. You probably got here
just in time!"

7. "I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and
envisioning a new paradigm."

6. "I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance."

5. "I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related
stress. Do you discriminate toward people who practice Yoga?"

4. "Dang! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution
to our biggest problem."

3. "The coffee machine is broken..."

2. "Someone must have put decaf in the wrong pot..."

1. ".....in Jesus' name, Amen."

[Shirley Panek]

Thanks for the big smile!

[Wendy w]

Baad! Have something fun on my email at work, will post Monday when one always needs a laugh!