School is out and the bickering has begun

[lsdesign]

Well, it's only been since Friday and I already can't take the constant teasing, bickering and fighting. The 11 yr.old can't resist setting the 7 yr. old off. We've instituted a list of chores for the summer and have a day camp for mid-July but other than that we can't afford any other activity.
Any suggestions to keep them busy? (I have two boys)

[sneezles]

Oh, do I remember those days! Can tell you though that it does finally end (the constant part anyway)! If the 7 yr old has a good friend that you could have over a lot then I would suggest that since the 2 against one always seem to frustrate the older one and he'd finally give up (in our house ;) ).

[DmOrtega]

Wow, they waited till the summer break to start bickering? My kids can wait only until I pick them up from school each day. ;)

[boisewinesnob]

I am with you! My sons usually get along really well. We just got home from a trip to Yellowstone, and for 4 days in the car there was almost no bickering. Then over this weekend (since we are home) they haven't stopped! I want to kick them all out into the back yard.
I am going to make a schedule for them to limit the fighting over time on the Nintendo, computer, etc.
They do seem to aggravate the youngest quite a bit (he's 8.5), maybe I'll do what Sneezles suggested and have his friend over more often :cool:

Suzy

I'd like to hear other ideas too!

[Grace]

Well, I don't recommend this idea at all, but I can tell you what worked for my Mom when my sister and I bickered INCESSANTLY.....

One day, she was so fed up, she grabbed us each by the hair on the back of our heads and CLUNKED our heads together!! :eek: Ouch.

That worked for a little while...... :rolleyes:

(And she never, ever hit or struck us ever before or after that, so it was a REAL shock to my sister and I!!)

[LaraW]

Grace, I think my dad did that to my sister and I once when we were fighting and would not stop.

It probably worked, but only temporarily. :rolleyes:

[boisewinesnob]

OK, any other ideas that don't involve "cracking skulls" heheheh!!! ;)

[lsdesign]

Wow. The clonking of the heads sounds good in theory. It is about how crazy the bickering can make you that deperate measures seem in order. I had a friend whose grandfather held her mother and sister underwater in a rain barrel because they would not stop fighting. He told them he'd only let them up out of the water if they would come up hugging each other. And they did. Extreme, but those were the olden days.

[401krep]

When my sister and I were younger (I'm talking 20 years ago), my mom would put us both in a room and tell us we couldn't come out until we were done fighting. After about 10 minutes, we would be laughing. That ALWAYS worked!

Vanessa W.

[LaraW]

Even though I did get my head clonked once, my mom's usual way of keeping us from fighting was to just get us out of the house. We were not really allowed to play inside unless it was raining, no TV or anything. We went swimming a lot and had friends that we met at the pool. We had a day camp at our house for little kids once, and we did crafts, etc with that. We called up the mom's of the kids we babysat and asked them if they would like to have their kids come over for the morning the next week. I think we charged $10 per kid or something, so we made a little money too.

[Lauren]

I feel for you! My two boys (11.5 and 9) fight and bicker all the time. I can't stand it!!! I call it "recreational wrestling." So, I go to work to escape. :D I try to break them up by giving them some chores. I always think they're bored. Good luck!

[lindrusso]

lsdesign - I hear you! School got out for us May 31. The first couple of weeks were horrendous! Will it make you feel better if I tell you that it's better now? :)

I really think it just takes them a while to get used to being around each other all day and getting used to their different schedules. Earlier this spring, I had been telling everyone how well the boys get along and that they rarely fight (maybe one short-lived disagreement each day). Then the older one got out of school and it was all over! :eek: :eek:

Things have settled down a bit, but it's still trying. I just try to keep them as busy as possible. We've joined up for different activities, but like you said, they cost money.

I think it really helps to set up times for them to play with their own friends. They MUST get sick of seeing only each other and no matter how well they get along, there is an age difference (4 years with your boys, 3 with mine) that gets in the way on some level. So, I would suggest doing things like having friends over to play or maybe arranging for one of the boys to go to a friend's house (and then doing the same for the other boy). Not only will they get time apart, but one of the boys will get some one-on-one time with you too. And it's totally free! :)

Good luck and may the rest of the summer be blissfully peaceful! :D

One more thing - there are free things you can do to help keep them busy - for example, you can check with your local library for reading programs. Do some research around your area - there may be other things that have no or little cost.

[KristaMB]

ldesign, I saw these in the paper today and thought of this thread. I hope that you find something useful.

http://www.signonsandiego.com/news/uniontrib/sat/currents/news_mz1c22camp.html

http://www.signonsandiego.com/news/uniontrib/sat/currents/news_1c22bore.html

~Krista