Exciting News....but need advice!

[Luv to Cook]

Hi Everyone,

Well, I am happy to report that DH and I are pregnant. A little sooner than we expected ;), but very excited! Anyhow, DH and I recently moved to Charlottesville and met a great couple that we really get along with. Let's call them Lisa and Dave. They have been trying to get pregnant for the past few months and nothing has happened yet. We have a few pregnant friends down here and Lisa mentioned that she was lucky to have at least one non-pregnant friend (me, we were planning on trying in the next two months). Well, here I am pregnant and we have been close enough that I would tell her sooner rather than later. We had them over for dinner last nite and Lisa mentioned that she had a negative preg test that morning. I was so sad for her since I know how bad she wants to have a baby. My issue is this, how and when do I tell her that we are expecting? I do not want to hurt her in anyway...she is very sweet and can be very emotional.

Lastly, I hope everyone can help me in praying for her and her DH in getting pregnant soon.

Please help!

Thanks!
Anita

[funnybone]

I just want to congratulate you and wish you the best!!!

I have no advice to offer except that there will always be times when one person's happiness and joy is another persons sorrow and heartache.

So when is the due date??

[valchemist]

Congratulations, Anita!

I agree with your decision not to tell her last night right after she expressed sadness at her negative result. But I don't think you need to wait much longer. Let her know soon - it would be worse if she knew you were hiding it.

And I'm with Tonya in wanting to know -- what is the estimated due date?

Val

[Julia1Pin]

Congratulaions!!!! Please join us on the pregnancy thread (although today is the last day I can be a true member ;))

I think your friend will be more hurt to be left in the dark, than to be told. It was a good idea not to do it yesterday though. Maybe invite her for coffee (decaf) today and let her know then.

[beejayw1]

I'd go ahead and tell her, and use this sort of slant:

"I just got a positive pregnancy test! Hey, if I can get a positive, that's a good omen for you!" (you get the drift.

You can't shield her and her husband from all of life's knocks, and there will always be times where you encounter someone who has something you really really want. That shouldn't keep you from being happy for them.

And I suspect that they will be happy for you!

P.S.: Congratulations!

[jmarie]

This happened where my daughter worked. The girl who was pregnant just told her before she had a chance to hear it from anyone else. She arranged to go to lunch with her that day, so she could tell her. She told her that she knew that what she had to say was going to be bittersweet news, but that she wanted her to be the first to know because her friendship meant so much to her. After she told her, she gave the girl a chance to catch her breath and she then told her, again, that her friendship had meant so much and that she was not sure what to do about telling her because she would never do anything to hurt her, knowing how much she, too wanted a child.
The girl, was gracious about it, very quiet when they went back to work and the next day acted fine. Then two months later, the girl invited the first girl out to lunch and told her...she had some wonderful news to tell her...and you can guess what it was.

Whoever posted that we can't shield everyone from life's hurts was right. You need to tell her, alone in a quiet place..and I think she will be gracious. And I think she will be happy for you.

[beacooker]

As jmarie said, I think it is important that when you tell her, you acknowledge that the news might be a little hard for her to hear. I had a similar situation with a co-worker when I got pregnant, because my co-worker had been trying for years, and had had 2 miscarriages. I dreaded telling her, but I did mention that I knew it might be hard on her. She was very good about it, and very soon got excited about my pregnancy.

[Molli526]

Originally posted by valchemist

And I'm with Tonya in wanting to know -- what is the estimated due date?


Do you know something that is supposed to be revealed tomorrow? Funnybone = Tonya????


BTW:

CONGRATS Anita & DH!

[Mamasue]

Anita....just wanted to extend my CONGRATULATIONS to you and DH! :)

[Angela]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Molli526


Do you know something that is supposed to be revealed tomorrow? Funnybone = Tonya????

Yeah...what's up with Val knowing Funnybones name??!! Or is Val just assuming??


Congrats Anita!!!

[valchemist]

I am just using my psychic powers...

won't be long now until we find out.

[gertdog]

Anita, congratulations to you and your DH!

I'm sure your friend will appreciate that you feel close enough to her to tell her earlier than others, and will be able to share in your happiness. It will be hard for her too, though. One of my dear friends from college has had multiple miscarriages while other friends have just had one child after another, and as I am also still childless (though by choice) she talks to me about her situation. She takes so much joy in her friends' little ones, even though she often feels sad and a sense of "why me?".

[MusicMom]

Congratulations!

I know exactly how you feel because I had two good friends who had trouble conceiving. One ended up adopting, the other was successful after fertility treatments.

It will be difficult, but you should tell her before someone else does. You have a special friendship, so she should be able to overcome her disappointment and be happy for you. Maybe you could acknowledge the awkwardness of the situation, but say that you wanted her to be the first to know because you are such good friends.

I know that you want to protect her from pain, but couples eventually learn how to cope with seeing their friends with children while they keep trying. All you can do is be supportive. Let us know how it goes.

[Luv to Cook]

I really appreciate all of the responses on this touchy subject. I have not told our friend yet, but I will soon. We are still very early in this pregnancy! But I really appreciate the honesty. I truly keep hoping she will call me with some great news, but until then I know I need to be straight up with her.

Thank you!

Anita

[HejazSunKat]

Originally posted by beejayw1
You can't shield her and her husband from all of life's knocks, and there will always be times where you encounter someone who has something you really really want.

Exactly. If she is as good and loving a friend as you think she is she will be happy for you or she will at least pretend to be. It's not something you should have to apologize for. Since you say it is still very early you could wait until you and your husband are ready to make it general knowledge. Maybe by that time she would have some happy news of her own. If you want to announce now then I think you've gotten some great suggestions on how to broach it in a gentle and kindly way.

BTW...CONGRATULATIONS!!!! MAZEL TOV!!!! MABROUK!!!! YIPPEE!!!! :D

When????

[ccooney]

CONGRATULATIONS, ANITA!!! I think that jmarie hit the nail on the head. Everything she said was very sensitive to the other person's feelings. If you haven't already told her, I think the sooner the better so she doesn't feel left out.
And then maybe she'll be as excited for you as we all are!

[dcornelius]

Happy happy joy joy! I am so happy to hear your wonderful news and I am so sure your friend will be too. I had a some what similar experience when I became pregnant with my DS many moons ago. My SIL and BIL lost a baby at the same time we found out we were pregnant. Boy that was hard to know what to do then. In the end I just told them in as sensitive a manner as possible and got it over with because I didn't want there to be a building tension between us because I was keeping something from them. I will pray for you and your friends for wisdom and "fruitfulness"!:D