Wednesday funny

[Shirley Panek]

A woman rushes home, screeches into the driveway, runs into the house, slams the door and shouts at the top of her lungs, "Honey, pack your bags, I won the lottery!"

The husband says, "Holy Crap!!! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?"

"Doesn't matter," she says. "Just get the hell out."

[valchemist]

hee hee.

that's the second time today the BB made me smile.

[Kayla]

:D Very amusing!

[funnybone]

Good one! Thanks for the laugh!

[KathrynY]

:D :D Thanks Shirley - I needed that today!

[maizeyoats]

A man from Texas in a Volkswagen Beetle pulls up next to a guy in
a Rolls Royce with Nevada plates at a stop sign. Their windows are
open and he yells at the guy in the Rolls: "Hey, you got a telephone
in that Rolls?"

The guy in the Rolls says, "Yes, of course I do."
"I got one too... see?"
"Uh, huh, yes, that's very nice."

"You got a fax machine?"
"Why, actually, yes, I do."
"I do too! See? It's right here!"
"Uh-huh."

The light is just about to turn green and the guy in the Volkswagen
says, "So, do you have a double bed in back there?"
And the guy in the Rolls says, "NO! Do you?"
"Yep, got my double bed right in back here see?"

The light turns and the man in the Volkswagen takes off. Well, the guy
in the Rolls is not about to be one-upped, so he goes immediately to a
customizing shop and orders them to put a double bed in back of his
car.

About two weeks later, the job is finally done and he picks up his
car and drives all over town looking for the Volkswagen beetle with the
Texas plates. He finally finds it parked alongside the road so he pulls
his Rolls up next to it.

The windows on the Volkswagen are all fogged up and he feels a little
awkward about it, but he gets out of his newly modified Rolls and
taps on the foggy window of the Volkswagen.

The man in the Volkswagen finally opens the window a crack and peeks
out.

The guy in the Rolls says, "Hey. Remember me?"

"Yeah, yeah, I remember you. What's up?"

"Check this out... I got a double bed installed in my Rolls."

And the man in the Volkswagen says, "YOU GOT ME OUT OF THE
SHOWER TO TELL ME THAT?!"

[ELAR55]

An old man lived alone in Idaho. He wanted to spade his potato garden, but
it was very hard work. His only son, Bubba, who used to help him, was in
prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his
predicament:
Dear Bubba, I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to
plant my potato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up
a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you
would dig the plot for me.
Love, Dad
A few days later he received a letter from his son:
Dear Dad, For heaven's sake, dad, don't dig up that garden, that's where I
buried the BODIES.
Love Bubba
At 4A.M. the next morning, F.B.I. agents and local police showed up and dug
up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old
man and left.
That same day the old man received another letter from his son.
Dear Dad, Go ahead and plant the potatoes now. It's the best I could do
under the circumstances
Love Bubba.