Another baby shower thread, but with a twist...

[RebeccaT]

In a few weeks, I will be hosting my very first baby shower. DH and his group of guy friends from high school have managed to remain close after all of these years, and in June, the first of them is to become a father. I have offered to host a co-ed baby shower so that the guys can have a chance to congratulate and honor their friend and his wife, and celebrate the upcoming birth.

But here's my question... How the heck do you throw a baby shower with boys in attendance???

I mean, I guess it's a "couples shower," although not all of them are "coupled." And of course, we want them there, too. This is feeling a lot harder than couples' wedding showers that I have thrown!

My thought is to make it just a party with gifts (which the dad-to-be is totally thrilled about, honestly. He can't wait to open baby gifts!) But should I have a theme? Should we play games? (please say no, please say no...) Is there anything I can do to keep these guys from feeling awkward at what is usually a "girls-only" event?

I really want to do this for them, and they are so excited, especially the dad-to-be, about giving the guy friends a chance to honor and celebrate the first child in the group. But how do I do this? Help me!!! :o

[aggie94]

Originally posted by RebeccaT
Should we play games? (please say no, please say no...)

No, no, an emphatic NO. Sorry, but showers can be torturous enough without having to endure dumb (sorry again) shower games. And for a couples/co-ed shower? I can't even imagine. No offense to anyone (this is JMHO), but no way would *my* DH be caught dead in attendance at any kind of party that would involve lame games (unless those games also involved drinking :eek: ). I would definitely support your idea of just having a party with gifts. Theme is optional. If the parents-to-be have a theme picked out for the nursery, you could plan the food, decorations, gifts, etc. around the theme, but otherwise, why not just enjoy a gathering of friends to celebrate an expectant couple? NO games! :o

[Ms. Chevious]

I've been to a bunch of co-ed showers (in fact no one I know has plain girls only showers anymore it seems) and usually its just like a regular party/barbeque - very casual.

I can second the NO GAMES suggestion - that is torturous! Just make it like a big BBQ and have some baby themed stuff around if you want but don't feel like you have to get carried away - sounds like they will all just enjoy having a chance to get together.

[erinl]

If you wanted a game, you could always have a chugging contest using baby bottles. Winner gets a small prize and mom/dad-to-be get to keep all of the bottles.

I actually requested games at one of my showers. I was sick to death of the only entertainment being me opening gifts in front of everyone. Ugh! That said, out of 7 showers (wedding and baby) I only played games at the one.

Another simple and unobnoxious game is to set a timer while gifts are being opened. When the timer goes off, whoever brought the gift that is being opened gets a prize. The timer is then reset until all prizes are given away or all gifts are opened. At least then, people pay attention to you opening presents.

[slknight]

I'm in the "no games" camp, but I do like Erin's ideas. A chugging contest. I can see DH liking that.:rolleyes:

If you're looking for dessert ideas, I just saw this in the latest issue of Martha Stewart baby. Talk about a cute cake!

http://a444.g.akamai.net/7/444/703/20030305183635/www.marthastewart.com/images/content/feature/ft_baby03cake01_l.jpg

Here's the info on how to make it:
http://www.marthastewart.com/page.jhtml?&type=content&id=channel182244&site=&page=1

[lisas3575]

I co-hosted a co-ed shower a couple years ago. We did a cocktail party, and had it in the evening. Here's the invitation I did:

http://www.ideasmithdesign.com/portfolio/images/43_skyler_new_lg.jpg

We made the invitation look like a bar menu. It was a tad un-PC from the FAS standpoint :o but it was a fun party. We made special, fun alcohol-free drinks for the mom-to-be. It also worked out because all the attendees went in together and bought a baby jogger. There wasn't anything organized (I agree with no games), it was just a meet-n-mingle. :cool:

[lhall]

I was picking up the plates, etc for the shower I'm hosting this weekend. They actually had chocolate cigars. That might be fun for the guys.

I'm not doing games at the shower.

Leigh

[aggie94]

Susan, that cake is SOOOO cute!! Now I wish I had someone to make it for. :(

Can I ship it to you? ;)

[HejazSunKat]

Originally posted by aggie94
No, no, an emphatic NO. Sorry, but showers can be torturous enough without having to endure dumb (sorry again) shower games. And for a couples/co-ed shower? I can't even imagine. No offense to anyone (this is JMHO), but no way would *my* DH be caught dead in attendance at any kind of party that would involve lame games (unless those games also involved drinking :eek: ).

Eva, this cracked me up! Am I the only one who takes a rough, eyeball count of the presents to calculate when I might be able to go home? Much as I enjoy seeing all the adorable outfits for the baby it's not a heck of a lot of fun to sit and watch someone open presents for 3 hours let alone being subjected to games.

[lindrusso]

Originally posted by aggie94
but no way would *my* DH be caught dead in attendance at any kind of party that would involve lame games (unless those games also involved drinking :eek:

LOL! You could do a baby-themed game of "I Never". :D

I usually hate the games at showers too. However, it would be pretty darned funny to watch the guys do that game where you blindfold someone while they attempt to diaper a teddy bear. :)

Lisa - Did you design the invitation yourself??? It's beautiful!

[MrsReber]

I was at a co-ed shower for my friend. Granted, three of the men in attendance were gay (I'm serious!!), but they were there, as was the father and a couple of other guys. We just had a lunch out at a restaurant. They did have games and the guys did join in, believe it or not! The guys actually made up wise*** answers to everything and it was pretty funny. Overall, though, I do hate games.

I agree with what everyone said- just make it a regular party. I did see on A Baby Story how one couple did their co-ed shower. They had the bottle drinking game that Erin mentioned.

Lisa- that invitation is awesome!

[Peggy C.]

No games no games no games. I'd throw a party with presents and the usual baby themed stuff.

I've been to 2 co-ed baby showers and hope that any I ever have to attend in the future are co-ed. It really cuts down on the episiotomy, mucous plug and breast feeding talk. (sorry if I've grossed anyone out or offended anyone) I'm a mature female who is not grossed out by this stuff, just don't need to know this info about my friends and acquantances let alone strangers.

[pammy]

I threw a co-ed baby shower for my best bud and her hubby a couple years ago. I would have loved for it to be a barbecue, but since she was due at the beginning of March, we had to have a mid-January brunch. It was very laid-back, and we served beer for the fellas. This was the only shower they had, so there were some couples from their families who didn't know everybody. I thought the diaper pin game would be a good way for everyone to break the ice. The "diaper pin game" is pretty simple: everybody gets a diaper pin as they arrive at the party, and the simple instruction not to say the word "baby". Anyone who hears someone say the word "baby" gets to take that person's pin. Yeah, a dumb game, but the guys actually got pretty competitive with it, even though the prize was the floral centerpiece :confused: .

[MrsReber]

Originally posted by Peggy C.
No games no games no games. I'd throw a party with presents and the usual baby themed stuff.

I've been to 2 co-ed baby showers and hope that any I ever have to attend in the future are co-ed. It really cuts down on the episiotomy, mucous plug and breast feeding talk. (sorry if I've grossed anyone out or offended anyone) I'm a mature female who is not grossed out by this stuff, just don't need to know this info about my friends and acquantances let alone strangers.

Peggy, a girl after my own heart! I hated all that talk when I was pregnant. No, I don't want to hear about your friend's miscarriage, no, I don't want to hear about crib death, no, I don't want to hear about your 45 hours of labor and no, I don't want to hear about how many stitches you had! It's not what a first time mom wants to hear! I must've had a sign on my forehead that said "Please feel free to tell me your worst story about prengancy and childbirth!" That's why I'd be all for the safety pin game. At least people would have to think about what they were saying!

I have to say, though, that even though men think those games are stupid, it amazes me how much they have fun with them. Personally, I hate the games and my sister abstained. She knew I'd hate them.

[RebeccaT]

*whew* No games it is. Although I may see what DH thinks about the baby-bottle chugging contest. ;) :rolleyes:

I LOVE that cake, Susan! Thanks so much for posting it! And Lisa, I love love love that invitation. That's actually a quandary for me... the mommy-to-be picked out the invitations, and she really loves them... but they are girly. Thankfully, they aren't pink, but they do involve a baby bonnet. I will use them because she requested them, but it is going to be a lot harder to make the invite co-ed! :rolleyes:

I am thinking about getting a disposable Polaroid or two to take pictures to send home with the parents-to-be. I also thought about having each guest type or write something up about the "state of the world," something we could put into an album for the baby to look at when he is older. Kind of like a "this is the music that we were listening to with your folks, here's what was happening in politics, these were the movies we saw..." that sort of thing.

Too hokey?

[MrsReber]

Rebecca- awesome idea to have people write stuff down! My SIL did this for me and I still love to go back and read all the kind words and advice. She got some scrapbooking materials and made pages for me during the shower, complete with little stickers and cute borders! I just loved it. I even added on when I received gifts after the shower.

[KristinK]

Originally posted by pammy
I threw a co-ed baby shower for my best bud and her hubby a couple years ago. I would have loved for it to be a barbecue, but since she was due at the beginning of March, we had to have a mid-January brunch. It was very laid-back, and we served beer for the fellas.
We also threw a co-ed baby shower for my best friend from high school and her boyfriend last summer. Luckily, the shower was in July, so we were able to have a barbecue. Pretty much everyone there were friends of our from high school, plus a few of her college friends. But we're young, so the beer wasn't just for the fellas ;) Pretty much it just turned into an afternoon party, where my friend happened to have some baby gifts to open (oh and the guys were definitely much less interested in ooh-ing and aah-ing than us girls!).
And NO games!

[MusicMom]

My in-laws pretty much insist on "family" showers (not just co-ed, but kids, too!) DH doesn't understand why you would have a baby shower and not invite the father. I see his point, but I don't mind going to an all female party either.

Anyway, I hosted SIL's shower last fall, and just because there were children present, we had a couple of games. The funniest was the diaper the baby (doll) race. The kids also loved Pass the Baby (like hot potato). These wouldn't go over with all adult guests, so I think your plans are great- you know best what your friends would like to do. I love the idea of the photo album with notes!!

[Peggy C.]

Originally posted by MrsReber


Peggy, a girl after my own heart! I hated all that talk when I was pregnant. No, I don't want to hear about your friend's miscarriage, no, I don't want to hear about crib death, no, I don't want to hear about your 45 hours of labor and no, I don't want to hear about how many stitches you had! It's not what a first time mom wants to hear! I must've had a sign on my forehead that said "Please feel free to tell me your worst story about prengancy and childbirth!" That's why I'd be all for the safety pin game. At least people would have to think about what they were saying!



OMG, I can't believe people would ever utter those words to a pregnant woman, let alone during a party!

[aggie94]

Originally posted by RebeccaT
I also thought about having each guest type or write something up about the "state of the world," something we could put into an album for the baby to look at when he is older. Kind of like a "this is the music that we were listening to with your folks, here's what was happening in politics, these were the movies we saw..." that sort of
thing.

Too hokey?

If you're going to do this (and I do think it's a nice idea), can I suggest doing it informally? Maybe setting out an album where people can stop and write some thoughts in it when and if they feel like they have something to say throughout the day, versus a formal, sit-down in a circle, "Okay, everyone, it's time to write down your state-of-the-world thoughts for the baby" type of thing? I'm remembering back to a baby shower I went to where the host gave everyone a blank greeting card and you had to write a letter to baby, telling him a funny or nice story about his mother, for the baby to open and read when he was older. The mom was a coworker of mine but I really didn't know her ALL that well, and it was very uncomfortable and awkward to sit there desperately trying to come up with something to say while everyone around me was frantically scribbling down notes in their cards. I mean, what do you say? "Hi baby, I work with your mom but I really don't know her all that well so I don't have any cute or funny stories - I just came to the shower because I was invited and it would have been rude not to"?

Anyway, I'm guessing all your friends are probably close with each other and the parents-to-be, but in case they're not, it might be more comfortable to set it up as an "as-you-like" type of situation.

[RebeccaT]

Eva, good call. Although the guest list is primarily made up of people who have known either one or the other of the couple for at least 5 years, I think putting anyone on the spot would be a bad idea. I am thinking either inserting a request that they come prepared with something, either already written or in their heads, in the invite we send out, or just setting it up on a little card table for people to mosey over to at their leisure. Which do you think would be better?

[lisas3575]

Rebecca, could you do both? I'm the type of person that would rather spend some time gathering my thoughts and doing it at my leisure beforehand, but there will always be those who didn't have the time/inclination to come prepared but may choose to do it there. The bad part of me wouldn't tell people that they could do it there though, so that it didn't get out of hand.

[aggie94]

Rebecca, I'd go with the latter, only because most people I know would forget to bring something with them, no matter how good their intentions. But I think it's a good idea to mention it in the invite if you want, so you can get people thinking about what they might want to say. Also, you may have to nag people and remind them that it's there, or they might forget to stop in and write something down while they're there.

[emily]

It's also good to mention it before hand in case people want to bring pictures. I think having the card table set up as the scrap book station is a good idea.

Emily, who has no problems with baby shower games :p

[MrsReber]

Yes, Rebecca- request beforehand. My SIL made up the invitations to my shower and she added in that she wanted everyone to contribute a peice of advice or warm wishes. It gave people time to print out some really nice things. I even have a drawing and my neice got to write something for me and make it all pretty. Absolutely beforehand!

Peggy- people have said that and more! It is horrible. My MIL just LOVES to tell me stories about crib death and her miscarriage and her breasts. We must all talk about breasts and breastfeeding. And everyone had to tell me their preference for a boy or girl. I actually hated that stuff. I didn't mind the pregnancy so much (after the morning sickness) but people really need to think about what they're saying before they say it! I think a co-ed shower is better because it eliminates some of that stuff. Oh, and my DH would never ever go to a shower! He simply wouldn't be interested. Of course, if I had a co-ed shower, he would've been forced to go!

[Canice]

I'm going to my fourth this Sunday and, as Peggy said, hope never to go to another "ladies'" one. The "co-ed" showers I've been to have all been barbecues and just fun parties to congratulate the couple (seeing as the baby is, presumably, both parents' child) and enjoy being with them before they disappear into ParentLand ;) .
The only downside to the barbecue thing is that -- and I really hope this doesn't sound awful -- it seems to go on a lot longer than I might want to stay, but I feel it would be rude to leave before the gift-opening. One was on a Sunday and started late afternoon but they didn't begin opening gifts until 8, meaning that it was close to 10:00 when I got home. It's not the same thing as an all-afternoon/evening Saturday barbecue when various guests come and go throughout. I kinda like the invitations that say "from 11-2" or such :) .

[lisas3575]

I'm reviving this old thread because I'm hosting my first co-ed (friends and family of the parents) shower this June. Thank you to everyone for the input about games etc. Good to know.

Rebecca, how did yours turn out? I'd love to hear from you and any other people that have gone to/hosted a co-ed baby shower in the past year... I'd love to steal Emily's ute pinata idea, but it's not terribly appropriate with the grandparents in attendence...
:eek: :D
TIA! :)

[RebeccaT]

Hi Lisa!

Well, after all that great advice about a scrapbook etc., it turned out that I just couldn't get my act together to do all of that. The party ended up just being a cocktail party, with Asian-themed food (I could probably dig up a thread with my menu, if you want). The gift opening was nice, and the whole thing only lasted about 2.5-3 hours. Pretty low-key. Charles nixed the idea of Polaroids, scrapbooks, etc, and in retrospect that was probably a good thing. A lot of the guests were single guys, and I think they would have been a little cheesed out by that.

Good luck with yours, and have fun!

[Jessica]

I hosted a co-ed baby shower and the couple wanted games. I despise shower games. We ended up doing one where each guest brought a baby picture and everyone had to try and match photos to guests. It was pretty fun and a bunch of people thought my DH was me LOL. But I still prefer no games. We just had coffee, tea, punch and little desserts.

[rosie_one]

I'm throwing one next weekend. It's the third baby and so, you know, we are all kind of over the newness of it all. I'm serving mimosas (ginger ale for the mtb of course) with the cake. And I'm toying with the idea of having each guest pick up a present from the pile. One, two three OPEN!! Then going around the room and showing them off. Not traditional but I don't think anyone will mind in this group and then we have more time for conversation etc...

My least favorite game is the baby present bingo one. No, I take that back, my least favorite is the one where they take a tape measure to the MTB and place bets on how big around she is. Egads, as if you don't feel huge enough already.

[Beth Y]

Didn't see this post first time around, but our "crowd" has tons of co-ed baby/wedding showers and I second the advice on just throw a party and have gifts. The one pointer I want to give, though, is that to avoid the prolonged, party killing gift opening ritual, have a thought of where the parents to be will open gifts, put the gifts near there and then, when its time, let everyone know that they will be opening gifts inside, or whatever, if anyone is interested. There are many people, me included, who love to see people open gifts, but others who hate it and run for the doors. I have also seen it kill a party, where as soon as the gift thing is over, everyone assumes the party is over and leaves. If you don't want that, just let whoever wants to watch, do and let the rest of the people continue to mingle. That is what we do and it works out great. You will be surprised how many men watch!

This is a better alternative to not opening gifts at the party, which is what some people here are doing lately. It feels like to me the guest of honor just wants the presents without having to let the person know that they appreciated it. Don't even get me started on when this is done at kids bday parties......HOW are kids ever going to learn graciousness????? If you don't want your kids opening presents for 1/2 hour, then don't ask 25 kids to the party!!! Sorry, I digress.