The Me I Want to Be - Week of 3/27

[nixmom]

Hi Everyone!

How is everyone doing? I know we've all been super busy lately! Since I got back from my Dad's it seems like all I do is work and sleep.

Last week I was shopping for decorations for my apartment and I found something that really struck home with me. It was just a quote, framed beautifully, and when I read it I had to have it. It will now live in a prominent place in my home so I can see it daily. I wanted to share it with you guys, so here it is:

Life isn't about finding yourself - Life is about creating yourself.
-George Bernard Shaw

It sounds very simple, but is it? We all have those things we would like to change about ourselves. The things we talk most about are our weight and our physical activity level, but there are other things.

As a lark the other day a friend was reading out of the Birthday Book, or something like that - I can't remember the title. It was a personality profile according to the day you were born, your astrological sign, and whether you are a water, fire, earth or air sign. For me it was dead on target; for my Mom it was the exact opposite of how she really is. It made me start thinking about how much we truly can change about ourselves. How much is just written in our DNA, or the stars, or whatever you believe.

It doesn't really have to do with weight loss, but since this is the ME I want to be thread I think that can cover the whole me (and you!) and not just the weight control aspect of our lives. I think there are times (and judging by the absence of this thread for a while this may be one of those times for more than just me) when we need to step back from the scale and work on other parts of our lives. For me this has meant getting my "house" in order, not just where I live, but my life. There have been a lot of changes lately and I think I've finally found my groove, so to speak.

SO! After such a long-winded post, here is my question:

What is it about yourself that you would like to change? What changes have you made already that you feel make you more of the person you want to be?

I would like to change:
- impulse control! I have such poor impulse control, both with food and shopping. I want it - and I want it now!

- tolerance: I would like to be more tolerant of people and their differences in attitude and values and of their actions.

- procrastination: This is a biggie for me! Why do I wait until April to do my taxes when I know I will be getting a refund? That's just plain silly - but I do it almost every year.

Things I have changed:
- forgiveness: I am so much more able to let go of things than when I was younger. I used to hold grudges forever! I like that I don't stay mad for long periods of time anymore.

- responsibility: I am taking more responsibility for my own life and my own happiness than I ever have before.

- mindfullness (for lack of a better word): I am more concious of the choices I make at the time I make them, and am usually able to step back and think it through beforehand. This goes with my poor impulse control mentioned above, but it's a work in progress. Obviously I'm not there yet, but I'm working on it!

I hope everyone has a great week!

Lisa

[pbutterfly]

Lisa - what a wonderful topic!! Thanks for reviving this thread with such a great set of thoughts to ponder for the week.

In various groups (including this one), I've had discussions about how what we've learned from weight loss colors the rest of our lives (ie., learning to put our food needs first lets us better remember to take care of our other needs, or learning how to say no to the cheesecake teaches us how to say no to the endless requests to be on this or that committee)... but I think it's very true that there are ways we grow and change in the rest of our life that have the same effect the other way. And, as you rightly point out, healthy living - and the ME we want to BE, isn't just about the food/weight issues anyway!

What changes have I made already?
- Gaining self-esteem and strength. By learning who I am, and who I want to be, I have gained a lot more confidence in my own self and my own bounderies. I control me - and who and what I let in and don't... and how those experiences change me, or don't. This also means that I treat myself better than I have in the past, which is a much more healthy place to be (both on the physical side and emotionally!)

- The other side of that is that I am more free to be open to those new things and people because I don't fear that they will seep into me and control me. Nor do I feel any need to try and impact who/what they are or control them. This allows me to experience more and be open to more, which is exciting.

What do I still want to change?
- Organization. Inside my head and outside. If I were more organized, I would be able to get more done and actually plan to do (and become!) more of the things on my long wish-list of life!

- Forgiveness and patience. I've come a long way on this one, especially as it relates to other people... but I have a long way to go as well, especially in forgiving myself!


I'm sure as the week goes on and I keep thinking about this, more things will come to me!

Thanks, Lisa!
:)
lynne

[buffygirl]

Lisa, thanks so much for starting the thread. I've missed it but haven't had the energy to think up a topic.

What I still want to change:
I want to become less of a slave to my food cravings and emotional eating. I've made good headway the past few years, but still have a ways to go here.

I want excercise to become a regular part of my every day life again. I haven't worked out regularly since last June and am ready to get back to that.

I want to not take what people say to me so personally. This kills me at work. I need lots of work on this.

That is all for now. I will address my progress later.

BK

[pattiarl]

Thanks Lisa for posting a thread as I have gone for a long time and I'm thankful you provided a place for me to come back to.

I feel like I am struggling in so many areas rigth now that I don't even know where to start, but I'll try:

1) Control over food/Sabotage. I pretty faithfully go to the gym (and work hard while I am there) and then overeat--anything. It seems there is always one food item that trips me up--currently it's mini robbin eggs :). I've almost finished the bag and I bought it Saturday morning, before I went to the gym...go figure. I've been on a plateau for a year --is that possible--and I really need to jump start the losing again.

2) Organization. I am a clutter bug and I have a spare bedroom that could be a great home office if I could only throw away years of cooking magazines. I was on a roll for a while and then I lost interest and now they are piling up again.

3) Decision Making. I really struggle with decisions that I feel are permanent or semi permanent. I want and need a new coffee table but feel so unqualified to decide on a style that I continue to use my old Target one. I am too old to be using a $17 coffee table!

4) Spiritual. After growing up in a strict Southern Baptist home, I really haven't attended church as an adult with an regularity--until three weeks ago. Now I have found a comtemporary one that I really like, but I still won't talk to people when I attend the services--what am I afraid of??

Okay, I think that is enough of my quirks for one day.

Have a great week all.

Patti

[Kayaksoup]

thanks for starting this Lisa./ i have missed it while it was gone.

I would like to change:
My fear of rejection. It holds me back in so many things because I am scared that people will take one look at me and decide they want nothing to do with me or anything I have to say. so I say nothing adn don't reach out to people.
Procrastination. I am constantly putting things off till another time. Need to give myself a good kick in the butt and get moving

Things I have changed:
My own body image. Being with Rob has taught me that the most important thing is that I am happy and healthy, models be damned!:D If he can love me the way I am, I should be able too.
My dealings with food. Over time I ahve managed to shift my food obsession from eating it to just preparing it.

On personal notes, ((Kim)) , I saw your other thread and I am sorry you are going through this.
Linda

[badunnin]

Holy cow my life has been in a spin! Some good moments, some bad... all lessons to be learned.

I'm student teaching, and due to stress and activity, I have lost weight. In fact, I look pretty darn good!

Goals....

I'd like to like exercise. Threatening my body (If you don't shape up on your own it will be the gym for you at 5:30am!) seemed to work, but I know it's only a matter of time before I actually need to step foot in the gym again.

I'd like to be more organised. I'm getting there... my classroom is halfway organised, considering it's not my own. I can actually walk across my bedroom floor in the dark without worrying about tripping or needing a tetanus shot.

Get more sleep. Why can't I get to bed before 11pm? I'm exhausted all the time! 6.5 hours just isn't enough for this body.

Drink more H2O - the ongoing battle. I bought a case of mineral water, and keep it in my classroom, so I'm going through at least a litre a day now at work, plus another .5 litres at home. The no-bathroom break thing just really restricts my intake in the classroom.

That's all for now. Thanks Lisa!

[nixmom]

Every time I read this thread I learn something. You guys rock!

Lynne, I read your post and I was nodding - me too me too! I have learned so much about myself in the past few years and become more comfortable with who I am. I don't know if it has to do with being in my 30's that I've been able to take a good hard look at myself, but I like it.

I still haven't been able to overcome the body image issue, Linda. I don't know how to get over it but I'm working on it! Someday, I'm hoping. :)

Lisa

[Kayaksoup]

Just taking stock at the end of the week. I really laid off the exercise this week due to being ill. But at a certain point, your body just needs a rest.
Lisa, with the body image issue, I don't know if I could have resolved it on my own. Having Rob's support has really helped me out.
My new motivation is helping a friend of mine who is struggling to exercise and eat right. By helping her, I help myself too.

[buffygirl]

Hi Ladies,

Thanks, Linda, for the well wishes. I'm hanging in there.

I am just raring to go to get back to exercise. I don't feel quite good enough yet, but soon!

I'm doing pretty well with my eating this week. Trying to stick to my plan and eliminate sugar.

BK