View Full Version : More sad news for my family

07-08-2004, 08:57 AM
Some of you know that my DH and I flew to New England last Wednesday for a 10-day trip to visit his family. We were there only two days when my mother called with horrible news; my much-loved grandmother died Friday morning, two months to the day after my grandfather.

If this had happened six weeks ago, none of us would have been surprised. She had been frail all spring and my grandpa's decline and death took a lot out of her. But in recent weeks she was bouncing back and looking and sounding healthier than she had in three years. I talked to her right before we left for our trip and she was making jokes and was very excited about her new, smaller apartment and her plans with friends and family.

One of my aunts found her on Friday morning. She apparently died as she was trying to get out of bed. The partially read book on her nightstand was Mitch Albom's, "The Five People You Meet in Heaven."

We flew to Detroit on Saturday and the funeral was Sunday, then DH and I stayed until Tuesday to be with family.

The nine grandchildren called her Bobi (bubbie), which is Yiddish for grandmother. Helen raised four daughters and helped her first husband build his furniture business. After my grandpa died in 1971, when I was an infant, she lived alone for seven years and then married my second grandpa, a widower she met at her apartment complex. They ran a gift and jewelry store together and enjoyed 27 years of marriage before he died in May.

I will miss her terribly. This past week has made me so grateful for family, both my own and my husband's. That Friday night, my DH's sister and her family drove out to see us and helped distract me with conversation. I also had my 11-month-old nephew to cuddle and play with. Later, at my aunt's house in Detroit, I was surrounded by relatives (we have a large extended family and many of them live in Detroit) and we all leaned on each other for support and, literally, cried on each other's shoulders. My grandpa's funeral and shiva were sad, but he was very ill and in pain and ready to die. This was different. My grandmother lived to be 85 and we are happy that she lived such a long and happy life, but we were not quite prepared to let her go. I will miss her terribly.

Thanks for listening.


Shirley Panek
07-08-2004, 09:07 AM
Jessica -

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Peace be with you.

07-08-2004, 09:08 AM
I'm so sorry to hear the news. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

07-08-2004, 09:08 AM
I'm so terribly sorry to hear of your sad news. Grandparents hold such a cherished place in our lives.

07-08-2004, 09:09 AM
There are no words . . . I'm so sorry for the loss of your beloved grandmother. You and your family are in my prayers.


07-08-2004, 09:10 AM
I'm so sorry, Jessica. Keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

07-08-2004, 09:11 AM
What very sad news. It sounds like your grandmother was a wonderful person. I'm so sorry for your loss.

07-08-2004, 09:14 AM
Jessica, I'm so sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

07-08-2004, 09:16 AM
I am so sorry for your family. Your grandmother sounds like a very special lady.

07-08-2004, 09:16 AM
Jessica, I'm so very sorry for your family's loss. Keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers.

07-08-2004, 09:16 AM
Jessica, I so wish I had the magic words that would somewhat help to asuage your pain. We do not know why our loved ones go when they do. And sometimes, it is just unfair. Maybe God saw your grandfather's suffering and saw how much additional pain it added to your grief and so He took her during a time of joy.

The great consolation, right now, is that they are together, wrapped in God's glory and they are dancing, singing and shouting His praises.

When I was in the 7th. grade, I lost a dear dear friend in a drowning accident. The news just very nearly sucked the air out of me, it hit me so hard. I was angry at my mom because she wasn't showing her pain, so I thought she wasn't experiencing my pain. I had never known pain like this. There was a song that started playing on the radio. It was by Frank Sinatra. To this day, when I am faced with the death of someone and whether I was able to be there, or not, the words come flooding back into my mind.
"Softly, I will leave you.
Softly, I will leave you.
Long before your arms, can make me stay.
For one more hour or one more day,
After all these years,
I can't bear the tears to fall,
So softly as I leave you there.
As I leave you there....
As I leave you there. "
And this song gives me comfort. I hope you find some comfort in these words. I am sure that if you could speak to your grandmother, right now, she would tell you something akin to the words in this song.
God bless you Jessica, my friend in God. May He wrap his loving arms around you and your family at this most difficult time and warm your hearts with the wonderful memories of your wonderful grandmother. She sure had a special grand-daughter in you.

Peace be with you.

07-08-2004, 09:19 AM
Jessica, I am so sorry for your loss. She sounds like a very special lady.

(((hugs))) to you


07-08-2004, 09:19 AM
((HUgs)) Jessica.

I'm so sorry to hear of yet another loss in your family.
It sounds as if you have many wonderful memories to hold onto.

You'll be in my thoughts and prayers!

07-08-2004, 09:21 AM
Jessica, I'm so sorry to hear about your loss.

07-08-2004, 09:28 AM
((((((((((Jessica & families))))))))))))))))))))))

I am so very sorry for your grief. :(

07-08-2004, 09:31 AM
(((((Jessica))))) I'm sorry for your loss. May your memories of the love and joy you had with your grandmother sustain you.

07-08-2004, 09:32 AM
I am very sorry for your loss...my thoughts are with you and your family. :(

07-08-2004, 09:38 AM
i'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother...naseer and i will be saying extra prayers for you.
my warm regards to brent.

Wendy w
07-08-2004, 09:47 AM

I am very sorry for your loss.

07-08-2004, 09:59 AM

Your post brought tears to my eyes, and I can only imagine the sadness you must feel right now. Your grandmother sounds like such a lovely person, and I hope you can take comfort in all the wonderful memories you have of her.

07-08-2004, 10:26 AM

07-08-2004, 10:30 AM
(((Jessica))) I was going to give you hugs on the TTC thread but I didn't want to butt in if you weren't going to let the rest of the board know.
My thoughts are with you and at least your gram is with her husband now.

07-08-2004, 10:36 AM
(((Jessica))), what a tough year it's been for your family. I will be keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. I'm truly sorry for your loss.

07-08-2004, 10:41 AM
Jessica - I'm very sorry to hear about your tough news. Will definitely be keeping you in mind in the days ahead -- and praying for blessings for you and yours.

Sending many hugs,


07-08-2004, 03:26 PM
So sorry to hear of your sudden loss, Jessica. Your Bubbie sounds like she was a special woman. May her memory be a blessing!

Kay Henderson
07-08-2004, 06:29 PM
I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. What a wonderful woman your grandmother must have been to be so special in the hearts of her family.


07-08-2004, 07:54 PM
(((Jessica))) I'm sorry for your loss.

07-09-2004, 07:35 AM
Thank you all for your kind words of support. Yes, it has been a difficult year so far, with my grandparents' deaths and the stroke my husband's stepmother suffered. We are muddling through and hoping for better times in the near future.

It means a lot to have your encouragement.