Retraction (semi-long post)

[badunnin]

Ok, some of you know this story already, but most don't, so here goes.

I had a little glitch with the school I was hiring with (school A, we'll call it, the one where I went as a student). They called several people about me, including my previous employer, school B. Someone at school B raised concerns about me, stating that I had had an emotional breakdown and that I had inappropriate conversations with students. No specifics were given, and I don't know exactly who gave this information. I had never been approached during my employment at school B about any of this. Well, school A put my hiring on hold. They decided to try to find another candidate, said they would let me know in a week or so. If they didn't find anyone, they would take me (makes me feel great, eh?) This was last Thursday.

Fast forward to today. After a week of feeling sick, angry, livid, etc, I still hadn't heard anything. The district where I student taught, C, called asking if I could come in to interview. It was a part-time position, part German, part other classes. Sure. I rearranged my schedule a bit, made the interview, and they offered it to me on the spot. The principal hugged me she was so pleased. And I'm thrilled. They want me on staff, are happy to have me, and that is more than I can say for school A.

My mother and brother want to hire a lawyer. Technically in MI, a previous employer can only verify employment. School B could have cost me a career. I'm not sure if I want to go through that, but we'll see. Mom and bro do have a point.

I'm off for the weekend - dad's birthday is tomorrow (and I don't have a gift! Eek! But I am bringing cake! :D )

[CompassRose]

Bethany, that sucks! I'm so sad and angry for you!
:mad:

I sure hope this can be resolved (and School A comes crawling back). This shouldn't be happening to you!

Katharine

[Beth H]

They called several people about me, including my previous employer, school B. Someone at school B raised concerns about me, stating that I had had an emotional breakdown and that I had inappropriate conversations with students. No specifics were given, and I don't know exactly who gave this information.

Even if you don't end up pursuing legal action against the District you might want to find out the source of this information if possible. My DH works as an assistant principal and is responsible for a lot of teacher hiring - depending on how close the districts are to one another, there is a lot of "grapevine," unofficial information floating around out there about teacher candidates. Maybe this isn't as true where you live, but where I live in South Carolina, there aren't "six degrees of separation" - a lot of times he gets informal references on teachers from those who already work at the school. If this is floating around about you, even if it is untrue, it definitely could come back to haunt you.

[Schmee]

Bethany,I am so sorry that happened to you. You are right about the employer (school B)being totally wrong,they are not to discuss ANY of that with a potential employer. It sounds like things are going to turn out ok with school C though.
Tough one to call,the lawyer question,that would be a serious undertaking but it sounds like you could have a case.


Hope all goes well and you enjoy your new position!

[badunnin]

Originally posted by Beth H


Even if you don't end up pursuing legal action against the District you might want to find out the source of this information if possible. My DH works as an assistant principal and is responsible for a lot of teacher hiring - depending on how close the districts are to one another, there is a lot of "grapevine," unofficial information floating around out there about teacher candidates. Maybe this isn't as true where you live, but where I live in South Carolina, there aren't "six degrees of separation" - a lot of times he gets informal references on teachers from those who already work at the school. If this is floating around about you, even if it is untrue, it definitely could come back to haunt you.

I've thought about this. One of the employees (a teacher) at the school is an ex-BF. *sigh*

[Beth H]

One of the employees (a teacher) at the school is an ex-BF. *sigh*

Oh - that's not good. Have you considered calling the HR office in the "B" district?

[gertdog]

Wow, how awful. I'm so sorry this happened to you. I can completely understand why you might want to just put this behind you, but as you said, the unnamed reference at school B could have cost you your career and, as Beth said, this issue could resurface in the future. I'd deal with it now, whether you decide to do it through a lawyer or other means.

I'm really glad to hear about the position with school C, though- congrats to you on that!

(((Bethany)))

[Schmee]

I've thought about this. One of the employees (a teacher) at the school is an ex-BF. *sigh*
OOOhhh,not good,one would really hope that he would not stoop to something like that. Are you at all on speaking terms with him where you could do some digging?

[yorkshirepud]

This is kind of a double edged sword.

Could initiating legal action further tarnish your image? You know, cast you in the 'trouble causer' category. I was fired from a job once and considered taking legal action for unfair dismissal. Though I know I could of won (the errors where those of my co-worker), the potential tarnish on my future career wasn't worth it.

Of course, I'm not saying to lay down and take it either. Like I said, double edged sword.

I hope you can resolve this and I'm sorry it all went down.

[jmarie]

I hate this for you. But, here, if you got a lawyer and checked it out, it would pretty much ruin you for the county. That may not matter where you are, but here we have the good old boy network. It could be similar where you are.

Good luck.
Joyce

[tamawrite]

How frustrating! I'd be inclined to fight it on principle, but then again, Joyce makes a good point about how it might affect your future. No real advice, but I'm sorry this happened to you.

[phantomcg]

Wow, Bethany, this really kind of puts you in a tough situation! Do you think that the ex is the one who made the statements to school A?

Definately take some time to completely think the situation through before you move in either direction. As others have said, winning the lawsuit might not be worth the damage you might do to your career. But, on the other hand, if I were in your situation, I would want to know the "who" and "why" of the "information" given.

Congratulations on school C's offer!

Good luck!

Cheryl

[sneezles]

That's a shame that it happened but your new school sounds as if they really want you...maybe this is where you're meant to be?

[colleency]

(((Bethany)))

[eas11]

I can just imagine how you were feeling- but you made it through that horrible week and have a great outcome!
In MA we too can only verify employment and answer a few simple questions, such as attendance, which has a paper trail. There are probably only a few people who would have given a reference-staff in admin/supervisory positions I'd imagine. I certainly hope they would not pass on gossip and hearsay from another employee, especially one who does not supervise you and never discussed any concerns with you. I personally would deal with the situation.

Congrats on your new job!!!!!

[wallycat]

I'm so sorry about this grief and glad you have a school that opened their arms to you.

If the issue that was brought up were not true, I'd be tempted to at least scare the crap out of them by threatening I was hiring a lawyer :eek:

[Escher]

Shade.

Nahmen Sie die neue Arbeit, und niemals blicken zuruck.

[ErinM]

Aw Bethany, that just sucks. :(

Here's what I'm thinking/action I would take:

First, find out what School B's (or the district...whoever sets the policy) rules are in terms of references. Are they only allowed to give "name, rank and serial number" type information or are they allowed to do more? This could be important as somebody has then violated a pretty icritical policy.

Second, if you're sure it was the ex, you may not have recourse agains the school, but you could potentially have something against him personally...not sure of the correct term, but I'm thinking slander or libel. Maybe you could sue for damages (Taking into consideration, of course, the expense/time it would involve as well as the potential career impact)

Maybe another thing you can do is have the people who you know will stick up for you write letters of recommendation about what a great teacher you are. Maybe have them address the accusations as being frivolous and provide evidence to show that you do not/have not engaged in the behavior you're being accused of.

Good Luck! I know what you're going through. There are some things happening with me that make me wonder if I'll be able to go elsewhere in my company. I don't know if this is true, but I do have that fear.

(((Bethany)))

[wallycat]

Originally posted by Escher
Shade.

Nahmen Sie die neue Arbeit, und niemals blicken zuruck.


Really?
I'm shocked, coming from you :o :p ;) ;) ;)

[Kristilyn1]

I would DEFINITELY get a lawyer. Sometimes you can screw YOURSELF up by pursuing things like this on your own. Just because you have a lawyer doesn't mean you are going to sue. Someone has defamed you and this could follow you from here to god only knows where. It's serious. Please don't doubt that it is. It may end up with the lawyer simply advising you on how to get the school to one)retract this information and two) apologize to you.

Please, please don't just let this go. An official opinion of you today may not seem that big a deal because you have another job offer, but what if 15 years down the road this person or information is used against you for another job? A big promotion? Running for public office? The other thing that could happen is this could dog you for years and keep you from opportunities and you will NEVER know if this is the reason or not. While I agree that litigation can hurt you in a school district---a charge of being mentally unstable seems like it would most likely do MORE damage. If you react immediately and decisively you are saying that this is NOT TRUE. You are defending yourself, not suing the school because you think you didn't get the job because you didn't unbutton enough buttons on your blouse. I am outraged on your behalf. Please consider at least meeting with an attorney.

Kristi

[aggie94]

Bethany,

I PMd you. I am taking off for the weekend and probably won't be checking email/PMs, but let me know if you have any questions and I'll touch base with you early next week.

Congrats on your new job!

[HejazSunKat]

Bethany - I'm so sorry this happened. Here's what strikes me: Why didn't school A give you the opportunity to respond to the information before they put your hiring on hold? I think that would have been the appropriate and fair thing to do rather than just take what they heard as gospel truth. The fact that they did not would make ME reconsider whether or not I wanted to work there. Even if they did relent and hire you I don't know if it would be a good idea to take it now as there would always be a cloud hanging over your head. They'd always remember this about you no matter how stellar you prove to be.

I would want to find out who was responsible for passing along these rumors and then make it clear to them that they had better back off. I'm assuming you were never disciplined for misbehavior at the other school and there is nothing in your record there so somebody with an axe to grind against you is shooting their mouth off inappropriately and perhaps illegally to the detriment of your career. You have a right to know who is spreading false information and rumors about you. It has already cost you one job and I'd want to nip this person's ability to effect future hirings NOW. If they've been called once as a reference why wouldn't they be called again a few years from now? I understand the concern that pursuing legal action might give you a reputation as a troublemaker in a small school district but I don't think you even have to take it that far. The threat of legal action in the form of a nice official letter from an attorney might be enough to shut them up for good and all you really want to do is put the fear of God into this disgruntled person so that you neutralize any future trouble from them.

Congrats on the new job...nice to go to a place where you're really wanted and if school A comes back and condescends to offer you their position it will be nice to tell them to bugger off! :D

[HejazSunKat]

Originally posted by Escher
Shade.

Nahmen Sie die neue Arbeit, und niemals blicken zuruck.

You know, it's generally considered rude to speak a language other than the prevailing one of the group you're with. If you'd like to do this how about providing the English translation from now on for those of us not fortunate enough to be multi-lingual?

[yorkshirepud]

Originally posted by HejazSunKat


You know, it's generally considered rude to speak a language other than the prevailing one of the group you're with. If you'd like to do this how about providing the English translation from now on for those of us not fortunate enough to be multi-lingual?

I think it means (or something along the same line):

Take the new work and never look back.

[Beth H]

Take the new work and never look back.

Yes, this is the translation (work or job), and - the "schade" means, "sorry."

[badunnin]

First off, thanks all for your advice and support. I did have a chance to defend myself to school A. The accusations were laid out, and I basically had to guess what school B was referring to. As far as the emotional breakdown, it was the 1st anniversary of my best friend's death by a drunk driver, and unbeknownst to me, there was a grim reaper day planned. It took me by surprise, I cried, washed my face, and was back in a classroom 20 minutes later. As far as homosexuality, I had several students come out to me - but they came to me, I certainly didn't out them. When one of them eventually came out to the rest of the school, it was revealed that I had known for over a year. I also had female students approach me about their boyfriends wanting sex – I tended to do more listening than talking in these cases. School A still decided to pursue other candidates.

My big complaint with school B is that if these offenses were so egregious, why didn't someone call me into the office and say "Beth, we need to talk about X, Y and Z." As far as the ex-BF, I know that he was privy to more information about me than others were, and I was in Germany when we broke our ties. I don't know what happened after that - I'm not on speaking terms with him now. I know that I do need to track down the source of this, whomever it is, and set it straight. Technically, however, school B is correct – I did break down, and I did talk about homosexuality with students. However, in my opinion, those are taken out of context. I feel that they were misrepresenting the situations.

I am happy with the new position, even though it isn't full time. The position with school A wasn't full-time either, but it was slightly more than this. School C has presented me with other ways that I can increase my pay, which is nice, and I will still be able to work for mom, which makes her happy. :)

[jmarie]

As far as homosexuality, I had several students come out to me - but they came to me, I certainly didn't out them. When one of them eventually came out to the rest of the school, it was revealed that I had known for over a year. I also had female students approach me about their boyfriends wanting sex – I tended to do more listening than talking in these cases.

Wouldn't this be a breach of confidentiality for you to report any of this. Regardless, you did the right thing. I bet the kids were glad to have someone they felt they could talk to. That is a big problem with kids today...so many pressures so few adults that they feel they can share with.

That school should be ashamed giving you that report. And the school who didn't hire you...Well, Bethany, you are probably off in the school you are in. Do what you feel you have to do. I am sure you have no regrets and wouldn't do anything differently. And I am sure those kids feel blessed that you were there. And that is what counts.

[Wendy w]

Bethany, I am very sorry that you are going through this but it is looking like you are best off with school C. Although it is a hassle to deal with school B, I wouldn't let them get away with it as they should be called upon the carpet for this one. I would complain to the Superintendent immediately. Good luck to you.

[Kristilyn1]

Originally posted by badunnin


My big complaint with school B is that if these offenses were so egregious, why didn't someone call me into the office and say "Beth, we need to talk about X, Y and Z." As far as the ex-BF, I know that he was privy to more information about me than others were, and I was in Germany when we broke our ties. I don't know what happened after that - I'm not on speaking terms with him now. I know that I do need to track down the source of this, whomever it is, and set it straight. Technically, however, school B is correct – I did break down, and I did talk about homosexuality with students. However, in my opinion, those are taken out of context. I feel that they were misrepresenting the situations.

:)

You might want to check this, but I think if there isn't an official record of this in your file, as far as your "reference" goes, it didn't happen. I don't think they can claim innapropriate behavior unless it is documented in your file. THAT'S the problem, what they are saying is completely open to interpretation. Crying is NOT a breakdown. They are interpreting things that were never documented or investigated. They are repeating RUMOURS~ Not okay.

Kristi

[Gracie]

Hi Bethany - no different advice to offer, just a big ((((((((((((Bethany))))))))))))))))

Good luck at your new job.

Loren

[donleyk]

Just want to pass along my good wishes for your new job.

[MrsReber]

Bethany, I agree, those comments are all out of text! I don't understand what teachers are supposed to do these days- don't be friends with students, don't listen to them when they come to you with a problem, but then the parents turn around and question the type of education their kids are getting. You just can't win! I have so many thoughts on this, but I will only say this-

Those kids came to you because they felt they could talk to you. As a parent, I'd want my kids to come to me. However, if they were not comfortable coming to me, I'd at least want to know that they had someone there who cared.

As for having a breakdown- well, I'm sure we've all had moments like that. It's part of being human.

Guess all teachers should be stoic, unfeeling, uncaring individuals? It saddens me to think of what it's come to. This is only one of the reasons I would love to home school my kids.

[Beth H]

I don't understand what teachers are supposed to do these days- don't be friends with students, don't listen to them when they come to you with a problem, but then the parents turn around and question the type of education their kids are getting. You just can't win! I have so many thoughts on this, but I will only say this-

Unfortunately it is a hard situtation for teachers. Male teachers particularly have to be so careful with female students. My DH (who now is an administrator) never sits in his office with a female student without the door being opened or another administrator/teacher being present. It's not that you can't be friends/friendly with your students, but often now teachers are afraid of parents coming back and accusing them of misconduct/bad behavior. It seems as though many parents are ready to sue the school or district at the drop of the hat. This is not to excuse actual misconduct, which certainly happens, but it makes all teachers more wary about getting too close with students.

[Escher]

Originally posted by HejazSunKat
You know, it's generally considered rude to speak a language other than the prevailing one of the group you're with. If you'd like to do this how about providing the English translation from now on for those of us not fortunate enough to be multi-lingual?

I have made over 1,342 posts to this board. About 2-3 have been in a language other than English.

Please forgive me if I give you the big: :rolleyes: