utilizing help in the kitchen

[brendat4]

Hello!

I was wondering how you all handle helping hands when you have a crowd of people over? I often have lots of people that want to help with set-up/clean-up but am not very good about handling the delegation the day of the event.

We had my DS's baptism this past weekend and had a large crowd of family here to celebrate (12 adults, 6 preschoolers & 2 babies). I had lots of hands that wanted to help but felt like I was being barraged by questions every other minute...how do you want this cut (lemon bars)?...where are your serving spoons?...do you have more napkins?...the kids need towels for the (kiddie) pool...ugh! I swear it took me an hour just to eat my own lunch! And then it was time to feed the baby again! (I'm nursing so that makes it trickier for others to help in that way at least) I did call my sister the day before and asked her to be in charge of preparing her own kids lunch since they wouldn't be eating the sloppy joes I made. I told here where she could find everything and that worked out pretty well. One thing too is different styles...I'm ok with leaving dishes in the sink and cleaning up afterwards so all can enjoy the party but my grandma & mom much prefer to clean up the kitchen right away so I spend time delegating when I'm wanting to enjoy!

DH's sister and family just moved back to town, inlaws are a few hours away by car and my family is all here as well, so we will no doubt be having a lot more functions together in the future. MIL is of SOME help in preparing before the party but of very little help during the party since she gets very distracted socializing (which is what it is all about anyway!) Same goes for FIL--good ahead but not during.

Yes, trying to do it all ahead is ideal but at this stage of the game with a 5 mos. old and 3.5 year old and a DH that is a bit clueless in the kitchen (his job is usually doing the yard/picking up house) that just doesn't happen all the way. I do try to plan easy food menus (lots of make ahead dishes) but invariably I always forget some of the details.

Any suggestions? I'd love your organization ideas for functions like this! I'd love to have a function where I could actually sit and enjoy the party too and have people be more self sufficient so I'm not running all the time.

Whew! That was long but I hope someone can help! Thanks!

[sneezles]

I'm a list maker! Keeps me sane (;) ) for the most part. I've learned to let others do the cleaning up to the point of turning on the dishwasher (I'm always shocked at what others deem dishwasher safe :eek: ). The kitchen table is the base of operations...everything that is needed is put there (it's fairly large with the 2 leaves in it), tags are placed on all serving dishes as to their use along with the right utensils. Things are checked off as they are put on the table. This includes dishes, flatware and napkins.
When I know some of the group will be using the pool the stack of towels is set out by the pool that morning, along with bottles of sunscreen and extra goggles.
There are some who just have to help and I have learned to let them (although it takes some time to return eveything to it's proper place, it's better than offending someone).
Good friends have been in my kitchen enough times that they have taken over the cleanup and I have no worries! And I always appreciate someone who can take over a task without needing a lot of direction!

[MISSINDI]

Everybody always love to be in the kitchen when they come over ... hey, that's where the action is, but it makes it hard to work too. I always send one person to take care of setting the table, assuming I haven't already done it, and that a) gets things moving and b) gets a body out of the kitchen. When alcohol is part of the menu, and it usually is, my sister takes care of that. I give her the recipe and point her in the direction of the ingredients and that's one more thing off the list. The rest kinda just mill about, chatting, which is OK by me.

[Leonard]

I actually prefer company not to help me in the kitchen. Two weeks ago 12 of DH's family were locked in here for 3 days due to Hurricane Frances. I cooked 3 meals a day for 12 people!! Several years ago, my brother's girlfriend offered to help me in the kitchen. The next morning was trash day. Put out the trash off it went, only to discover my Henkel paring knife was gone!!!!!! She must have got it mixed up in the garbage. NEVER AGAIN have I let anyone lend a hand in the kitchen. Friends and family are more than welcome to sit at the breakfast bar and keep me company, but any kitchen utensils or equipment is off limits. I guess I still haven't gotten over that knife!!

[colleency]

I have a friend who feels uncomfortable at a party unless he has something to do. He is now in charge of washing all dishes. (We don't have a dishwasher.)

His instructions are not to come into the kitchen if there are two or more people trying to cook. (My kitchen is small.) And if he can't figure out where a clean dish goes, he puts it on the counter for me to handle later.

When I have helpers for the cooking (every Thanksgiving), I tape a recipe above each workspace. Then each person can cook their recipe without much help.

When someone asks me how things should be presented, I usually compliment them on their creativity and ask them to do it however they see fit.

I have learned that for sit-down affairs, it is best to have name cards at each place in advance. Don't try to figure that out at the last minute! But it's easy enough to have others do the table setting.

[Luika]

(I'm always shocked at what others deem dishwasher safe :eek: )
Totally agree! I've found (luckily, generally before the dishwasher was turned on) everything from expensive wooden-handled steak knives and gold-rimmed plates to inexpensive plasticware stamped "not for dishwasher use."

[brendat4]

Thanks to everyone for your suggestions. We have dinner club coming up this Saturday and I think I will just have in mind what each person can do BEFORE they come so that when they ask I will be ready. I'm going to try and have all the serving pieces labeled so that that will be easier also. There is one person who cannot stand to have any dishes in the sink for even 30 seconds it seems so she can be my dish washer (I agree about not turning on the dishwasher though).

Funny what you all say about what goes or doesn't go in the dishwasher. I am kind of picky too but I have the opposite problem with my MIL which is why I usually don't want her help much. She RARELY uses soap (I have no idea why)--just scrubs with warn/hot-ish water and hardly ever puts anything in the dishwasher. I know this is the way it was done before dishwashers were invented but I am weird about at least putting everything that a person's mouth touches in the dishwasher (i.e. utensils & glasseware). I guess I think it will get santized better.

Thanks for your help!

[Canice]

I've never entertained a crowd, so I have no suggestions. But I sure do wish people wouldn't insist on helping when you say "no thank you". I'm a firm believer that if someone says "no" to something you should take it as a no.