Who's right? Me or DH?

[Molli526]

We talk a lot to DS to help him with language development. I made the mistake of saying kickering instead of kicking (once or twice :o) and now Dh has picked up the habit of adding -er to words where it doesn't belong. I say we should be pronouncing the words correctly all the time as Charlie is learning. DH says it is fine now b/c he isn't talking.

WHO'S RIGHT?

[Gracie]

You are talking to DH to help with language development?? :D

Anyway, I read the title of your thread only and said Molli's right! :D

And even after I read your post, I still think you're right!

Children are such sponges, at every age, and they pick up WAY more than you think they do. Just because they can't communicate themselves, doesn't mean they're not hearing and registering on some level.

Loren

[LaraW]

I think its right to say things correctly so that Charlie will learn correctly. I have read that kids know the correct way to pronounce words, they just sometimes lack the ability to actually do it. We don't babytalk to Natalie much - I say "its time for night night" or I say "bye-bye" instead of "good-bye" but that is really about it.

We have some friends who have a 2 1/2 year old, and they encourage his calling of his cup a "ba ba" (leftover from bottle, I guess?) and the cat a "mow mow" (meow meow). I personally believe in the concept of requiring your child to move up to the next level and don't think that calling a cup a "ba ba" or the cat a "mow mow" will do that. Of course, these friends tell ME that their DS is "going night night" so they talk to me like I'm 2 1/2 also. :rolleyes:

But that's jut MHO :o

[Angelina]

Even without reading the thread, I would say you are right, of course. But yes, just like Gracie, I still think you are right. Why teach him incorrectly? He may not be talking, but you never know what they are absorbing already!

Angela

[Jessica]

Originally posted by Gracie


Anyway, I read the title of your thread only and said Molli's right! :D

I thought the same thing!

I think your approach makes sense. Why confuse him?

[Gail]

Originally posted by LaraW
I think its right to say things correctly so that Charlie will learn correctly. I have read that kids know the correct way to pronounce words, they just sometimes lack the ability to actually do it. We don't babytalk to Natalie much - I say "its time for night night" or I say "bye-bye" instead of "good-bye" but that is really about it.

We have some friends who have a 2 1/2 year old, and they encourage his calling of his cup a "ba ba" (leftover from bottle, I guess?) and the cat a "mow mow" (meow meow). I personally believe in the concept of requiring your child to move up to the next level and don't think that calling a cup a "ba ba" or the cat a "mow mow" will do that. Of course, these friends tell ME that their DS is "going night night" so they talk to me like I'm 2 1/2 also. :rolleyes:

But that's jut MHO :o

MHO as well. To a tee.

[Beth]

They hear it and process it long before they repeat it -- talk to your kids the way you want them to learn to talk to you and others. The English language has enough nuances, rules and exceptions -- you don't make it any more challenging than it already is.

[tamawrite]

I'm with you, too, Molli.

[615bride]

Beth is right. Their receptive language develops long before their ability to produce language. My master's degree is in this and it actually came up in "conversation" - yay!

[Canice]

LOL! My first reaction (before opening the thread) was also "Molli's right" :p

Of course children speak the way their parents talk to them. That's why Charlie will probably speak English and not, say, Farsi. ;)

[bobmark226]

Have you seen any of reports about teaching infants to sign before they can speak? It's a bit controversial because some think this could slow up learning to talk, but most "experts" feel quite the opposite, and very small babies are amazingly able to convey certain things ("want more," "toy," etc.). All this kind of proves how susceptible they are, of course, but on the other hand Men are always right! ;)

Bob

[Molli526]

Thanks!

I appreciate all of you thinking I am right before reading the thread ;)

[MrsReber]

Bob, of COURSE men are always right ;) (at least that's what we let you think...)

The sign language thing is really cool, though. My kids are learning it at their daycare. It has a lot to do with cognitive development as opposed to teaching them simply how to speak. It uses a different part of their brains and they have indeed found that kids who learn sign language tend to do better on tests. I have nothing to back this up with, other than articles I have read in Parents and Parenting. Also, our daycare does it based on their own research. I think it's amazing, since I don't know sign language. The kids have taught me a thing or two!

Back to Molli's thread.....You are right.

[Grace]

I'm not siding with either of you, but only responding to say that my Mother spoke horrible baby talk/mispronounciations to all of us (and horribly enough, she STILL talks baby talk sometimes! :rolleyes: ), and none of us (4 kids) have language problems of any sort, in fact, we are all very good speakers. <I will admit to a nasally Chicago accent though :o > :D

What I mean to say is that I don't think it makes much difference. They will be hearing and talking to many people in life other than you and DH and will learn to speak properly regardless, IMO.

But that's not to say that if it makes you feel better not to talk that way around them that I think you're being ridiculous or overly-cautious either. Do whatever feels right, and don't sweat the small stuff.

Editing to add that DH's parents were only in this country 2 years before DH was born, and they used LOTS of incorrect English around him and his sister when he was growing up. Neither DH nor his sister speak with accents (like his parents do! ;) ), nor do they make the same mispronounciations/grammatical errors their parents do. And his parents make lots of grammatical errors even now (his mother always says "I seen this or that" .... it's like fingers on a blackboard to me....

And adding more stuff as I remember it - my brother said "buckage" instead of garbage as a kid, so my mother ALWAYS said "buckage" instead of garbage because she thought it was cute. Still does. :rolleyes: Same with "casesuit" (suitcase), buh-sghetti (lots of kids made this mistake), hang-a-burr (hamburger), Joo-loo (for Jewel, the local grocery store) and the list goes on and on. As I said, my mother STILL uses these words (very annoyingly, I might add), because she still thinks they're cute. Whatever. I figured out how to say them all properly, no problem! :D

[gertdog]

I may find myself in a lonely little club here, but I'm going to respectfully disagree with many of the above responses. I think that you and DH can each talk to Charlie in the way you are most comfortable w/o having concerns about his language development.

The research I've read on "babytalk" (using silly/nonsense speech and/or a high pitched voice) shows that it helps facilitate infant-parent bonding and also helps the child attend to certain nuances of language such as conversational rules and turn-taking, shared points of reference, intonation, and phonemes. Babies like babytalk, and some researchers even suggest that babies are hardwired to be receptive to it, and adults are hardwired to use it precisely because it gets babies to attend to important features of language.

I've never seen any research suggesting that babytalk can be harmful to language development, only that it can enhance certain aspects. Nor have I seen anything suggesting that *not* using babytalk is either harmful or helpful. As I said above, everything I've read suggests that having the interactions is by far the most important thing, and it sounds like you and DH are both doing plenty of that. :)

[MrsReber]

That's the only problem with it- as Grace pointed out. Once the kids start saying these really cute things, you jump in and say them, too.

DD says "yerminade" instead of "mermaid". One of her favorite Disney characters is yerminade, so DH and I say it that way, too. Or DS will say "my do it!" when he wants to do something himself. He picked that up from his big sister.

I don't think there are lifelong effects from babytalk, I just always preferred to speak to my children in sentences using real words. I do use the sing-song voice and change pitch and all, but I don't babble. None of that "kitch-y-boo-boo-baby-gaa-gaa" stuff. Some woman actually scolded me for not speaking baby talk to my daughter. She insinuated that I did not know how to calm her if I couldn't babble to her. She proceeded to pick her up and babble to her. It made me sick. I wanted to hit her badly. Maybe I'm tainted from that experience and my MIL, who also makes me want to throw up when she babbles to my kids. :p

I have found, however, that my son has always tried to speak in short sentences as opposed to just saying a word or pointing at something. He'll say "I want to get down" or "I want some cheese". This has been going on since he started to say words.

[Gracie]

I was always a stickler about DD's pronounciation of words, however when she was just learning to talk DH owned a Pontiac Grand Prix. DD called it a Gand Pee and I NEVER corrected her!!! :D

Loren

[HejazSunKat]

Originally posted by Canice
Of course children speak the way their parents talk to them.

Oh dear...so what does it portend that my 2 year old grandson was being taught (by his father!) to call me 'bootylicious' last night as I was walking out their door? :D Good thing he's not going to daycare anymore. My new hair dresser also just told me her husband is teaching their 2 year old to say 'Yankees suck!'...Men!

[Canice]

Originally posted by HejazSunKat
My new hair dresser also just told me her husband is teaching their 2 year old to say 'Yankees suck!'...Men!

Nice. :rolleyes:

I knew a couple who were determined their kid's first words, practically, were going to be "go bears!". They're so obnoxious I'll work a second job to get the kid into Stanford! :p

[HejazSunKat]

Originally posted by Canice
Nice. :rolleyes:

I knew a couple who were determined their kid's first words, practically, were going to be "go bears!". They're so obnoxious I'll work a second job to get the kid into Stanford! :p

Yeah, I guess they think these things are funny coming out of the mouth of a 2 year old and I must admit, depending on what the phrase is, sometimes it is, but still, not appropriate. In the 'Yankees...' situation the mother's answer was: "When the kindergarten teacher calls saying our child is saying something inappropriate in class I'm handing the phone to you!"

[muriel3002]

Originally posted by MrsReber
That's the only problem with it- as Grace pointed out. Once the kids start saying these really cute things, you jump in and say them, too.

DD says "yerminade" instead of "mermaid". One of her favorite Disney characters is yerminade, so DH and I say it that way, too. Or DS will say "my do it!" when he wants to do something himself. He picked that up from his big sister.



I think the mispronounciations of kids are cute! I remember my DS saying "calla-pitter" for caterpillar (remember the book The Hungry Caterpillar?, and "pill-lo-lo" for pillow. We still call our pillows "pill-lo-los" to this day because it is just our way of remembering DS - now that he's 24. Oh, and he did learn to say caterpillar and pillow correctly.

Someday you'll look back and have great stories to tell - remember when you used to say "yerminade"? That was so funny!

[kbs]

Editing to add that DH's parents were only in this country 2 years before DH was born, and they used LOTS of incorrect English around him and his sister when he was growing up. Neither DH nor his sister speak with accents (like his parents do! ;) ), nor do they make the same mispronounciations/grammatical errors their parents do. And his parents make lots of grammatical errors even now (his mother always says "I seen this or that" .... it's like fingers on a blackboard to me....



My mom is from Germany and came to the US knowing virtually no English. Growing up, I never really even heard her accent, but she did have a slight one. Until the time I was 12, though, I always wondered why Wisconsin was pronounced "Visconsin", but was spelled with a W. Of course that was the way my mom said it and I did as well, until I finally figured out my mom was saying it with her accent.

I don't have children, but babysat ALOT as a teenager and never baby talked a child. When I was in college, I worked with a woman who would frequently say to her 1-year old "Is you a good boy?" AARRRGH! This drove me nuts! Whenever I got the chance I pulled the kid aside and chanted over and over again, "ARE you a good boy."

For the record, I agree with you Molli.

-Kim

[MrsReber]

Originally posted by HejazSunKat


In the 'Yankees...' situation the mother's answer was: "When the kindergarten teacher calls saying our child is saying something inappropriate in class I'm handing the phone to you!"

I keep warning my own DH about this. I'll say "call his/her father" WHEN the call comes. I know it will. He does not choose his words carefully around them. I give him 'the look' or he gets a sarcastic, but quiet "real nice, dad". I don't want to draw attention to the inappropriate word.

Muriel, I totally agree about the mispronunciations. DD used to call her little brother Yaggi. We have no idea why. She learned to say his name properly a few months ago and now corrects us when we say Yaggi. It's kind of sad. We were hoping that would last and she's always call him Yaggi as a pet name. I know, it's weird, but it was like a term of endearment between them.

[MaryH]

Originally posted by kbs


My mom is from Germany and came to the US knowing virtually no English. Growing up, I never really even heard her accent, but she did have a slight one. Until the time I was 12, though, I always wondered why Wisconsin was pronounced "Visconsin", but was spelled with a W.

You mean it's NOT pronounced that way? :cool: :D

[mlynn]

Originally posted by Gracie
I was always a stickler about DD's pronounciation of words, however when she was just learning to talk DH owned a Pontiac Grand Prix. DD called it a Gand Pee and I NEVER corrected her!!! :D

Loren

This reminds me of the time when I was a kid--my sister was reading the name of the car in front of ours in traffic and said, "Dad, I like that Grand Pric*." My dad almost drove off the road. :D

[jlo_of_hotlanta]

I would definitely speak correctly. I have a friend who thought magazine was maza-gine until fifth grade because her parents pronounced it wrong because they were baby talking, and when she picked it up, they never corrected her!

Ashley

[LaraW]

I am resurrecting this thread...

I get a monthly e-mail from babycenter.com, and this was in my email today. It made me remember this thread:

Talking to your chatterbox

Your baby is just beginning to understand many simple words and phrases, so it's more important than ever to keep talking to him. Give your chatterbox a head start on good speech patterns by repeating his words back to him using adult language. If he asks for a "bah-bah," for example, gently reinforce the correct pronunciation by asking, "Do you want a bottle?" At this stage of the game, it's best to try to avoid the tendency to use baby talk — it's fun, but hearing the right words is better for your baby's development.

Though it may sometimes feel silly, having conversations with your baby is a great way to encourage his language skills. When he rattles off a sentence of gibberish, respond with "Oh, really? How interesting." He'll probably smile and keep chattering away. Soon you may notice some words or gestures you actually understand, as well as other forms of communication, such as pointing and grunting.

Give your baby a play-by-play description of what you're doing — whether you're dicing onions for dinner or folding the laundry. As you put him in his stroller, say, "There you go, into your blue stroller. Now, let's buckle you in and get you comfortable. Okay, we're off to the park." You can also sing nursery rhymes, demonstrate actions that go with words (saying "bye-bye" and waving, for instance), and play games, such as patty-cake or ring-around-the-rosy, so he learns to identify key words and phrases.

He'll soon start to make the connections. Before long, he'll be clapping his hands together when you do and may begin to say "Mama" when he's looking at mom and "Dada" when dad comes into the room (though at this point he's still more likely to use the two names indiscriminately).

[stacy7272]

All I can say from my experiences with having two kids...RELAX. Either way, he'll be fine.

Currently my just turned 2-year-old daughter insists on calling cows "moos" and sheep "baas". Actually, I think it is so funny and cute...but I do say the correct name to her anyway.

[oceanjasper]

I don't have kids, so I can't officially say one way or the other. ;) However, I have a 3 year old neice that picks up on everything that is said.

I didn't even realize how much I used the word "actually" until she started saying "Well, actually, auntie..." She also still refers to herself in the third person. Can't really blame her when I always refer to myself as auntie, such as "Do you want auntie to help you with that?" It's like I am talking about someone else. :)

[Peggy]

Originally posted by Canice


Nice. :rolleyes:

I knew a couple who were determined their kid's first words, practically, were going to be "go bears!". They're so obnoxious I'll work a second job to get the kid into Stanford! :p

LOL!!:D That's my Dad! He's a big Cal man and we were taught to say "Go Bears" at a very early age. My DD mention to her grandfather that she might apply to Stanford and he turned pale and said she would be out of the family!;)

Peggy