What were these people thinking??

[Wendy w]

Here are a few tales from the turkey hotlines. I can't believe some of these.


http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=519&ncid=519&e=74&u=/ap/20041119/ap_on_re_us/turkey_talk

[mschef]

Thanks for posting that. I needed a laugh! =)

[krhm]

I was going to post that too...how funny! Were they imbibing a little too much pre-holiday cheer or what?

[HejazSunKat]

I want to know how the woman in Colorado thought the Butterball people were going to help her find her turkey in the snow. :D

[Gilgamesh37]

Originally posted by HejazSunKat
I want to know how the woman in Colorado thought the Butterball people were going to help her find her turkey in the snow. :D

What, they don't sell Lo-Jacked Butterballs in Massachusetts? What's wrong with you people?

The one that kills me is the dry cleaner bag lady. I just can't even wrap my head around a mindset where you might think that was a workable substitution. All I can figure is she got into the cooking sherry.......

[KathrynY]

Heee - those are too funny!! Thanks Wendy, I needed a laugh today. :D

[mbrogier]

My husband was telling me about a talk show he heard on the radio last night about turkey tips. They had this chef from a Louisiana culinary institute who was also a spokesperson for a cooking oil company that made oil for turkey friers. The people on the show kept going on and on about how dangerous turkey friers were, and the poor guest kept trying to explain that it isn't if you do it right. He then mentioned that there was an indoor turkey frier--you would have thought that he had suggested holding the bird by its legs and hitting it with a blowtorch.

The Butterball lady didn't like brining, either. She kept saying that you could do it with their fresh turkey, but she didn't think it made a difference. :rolleyes: Someone needs to bring these people a good brined turkey.

One guy called in and said his wife microwaves their bird every year. :confused: He said that it browned well in the microwave. I've cooked poultry in the microwave, but I've never seen it brown...unless it got so dried out it started turning from white to tan.

[HejazSunKat]

Originally posted by mbrogier
One guy called in and said his wife microwaves their bird every year.

Shaking my head with incredulity. People like this, who must hate cooking so much, should just go out! :D

[Gracie]

Originally posted by HejazSunKat


Shaking my head with incredulity. People like this, who must hate cooking so much, should just go out! :D

Well then they would have to contend with the people that go out regularly. After many years of waitressing (in fine dining establishments) I have to say that 90% of the people that eat out on Thanksgiving do so because no one else would have them in their home for the holiday. Now before anyone gets all riled up, I do understand that there are circumstances where normal people end up eating out on Thanksgiving that's why I only said 90%. :D

Thanksgiving is second to Mother's Day for the worst day to waitress in the year. Everyone has a mother and everyone takes her out to eat on Mother's Day. For many people (that same 90%) this is the only time they ever eat out at a restaurant with table service all year. They don't know how to act and they don't know how to tip - and that's just the adults!

Thankfully, waitresses have each other so they can go in the kitchen and blow off steam or exchange an amazing customer story to help keep everyone laughing!

Loren

who, when it came right down to it, enjoyed her 16 years of weekend and holiday waitressing

[cangoss]

I made my first turkey since 1994 (when I was on junior year abroad in France) two weeks ago for my cooking club. It was a fresh turkey that I got at a local market. I knew that there should be bags of "stuff" in the cavity - I reached in and only found the neck and gizzard - no heart, liver, or whatever other gory stuff I was supposed to find. I didn't really like putting my hand in there, so I just decided that for some reason, my turkey didn't have the "stuff" and went ahead with it. I'm very embarassed to admit that when I carved the turkey, I found the bag... At least it was paper so it didn't melt and no one had to know :o

[MKSquared]

Originally posted by Gracie
Thanksgiving is second to Mother's Day for the worst day to waitress in the year.

<<sigh>>

Guess who's working on Thanksgiving Day, 3 hours from any family?

Anyhoo. I may well be one of those people calling the hotline this year, since I bought my first big ol' turkey breast, and I don't have a clue what to do with it.

[kbs]

Ok, I'll come out of the closet and say that I called the Butterball help line last year. It was my first turkey (but I make roast chicken all the time and I am not completely inept in the kitchen since I somehow manage to cook dinner every night without killing either my husband or myself), and I bought a fresh Butterball. When I opened it on Wednesday night I was shocked to see that all the liquidy juice that always accompanies poultry was frozen solid to the bird's rib cage. There was quite a bit of ice- about 1/2 inch thick that just freaked me out, so I called the help line.

Sat on the line for 40 minutes before my call was answered.

Spoke to the most insulting, sarcastic person I have ever dealt with in my life. Instead of just explaining to me that fresh turkeys are held at a temperature less than 30 degrees (hence the frozen liquid) she was just plain mean and made me feel like an idiot for 10 minutes before finally explaining the shipping temperature (why would I know this??????).

This year I bypassed Butterball all together and bought a fresh Plainville turkey at Whole Foods for twice the price. That'll teach them! :rolleyes:

-Kim

[HejazSunKat]

Originally posted by Gracie
I have to say that 90% of the people that eat out on Thanksgiving do so because no one else would have them in their home for the holiday. Now before anyone gets all riled up, I do understand that there are circumstances where normal people end up eating out on Thanksgiving that's why I only said 90%. :D

LOL...I believe you! I think I went out on Thanksgiving once and I remember feeling so pathetic it was embarrassing - as if no one loved us enough to cook for us. I don't think we ever did it again because it felt so humiliating. :D Going out on major holidays is always a mistake anyway. The waitstaff is overburdened and it's too crowded. May as well stay home and microwave a bird (guess this is how the woman above was thinking) that is assuming you can find your turkey in the snow.

[mbrogier]

I'm rethinking this going to a buffet thing...
(would it help if I flashed a wad of cash and reassured the waitress that we're sane and nice? :D )

MK, I'll be around on Thanksgiving, so post any questions here. I've been cooking turkeys for 10 years now (my mom HATES to cook). I promise I won't be TOO sarcastic. :p ;)

[kkapow]

ha! just read this thread and the story, and what a hoot! what i want to know is, did the husband who put kitty litter in the grill use clean or used litter? :p :o

karen :cool:

[mbrogier]

I wondered the same thing, kkapow. ;)

MK, I thought of you when I was sitting at my table waiting to order a soft drink before Rob and I hit the buffet. It took the waitress 30 minutes to get to us. Rob even saw her leaning against a wall talking. We were very nice and tipped her VERY nicely--I told him your story. There were some real strange families in that restaurant, and I'd need a break, too. I hope your evening wasn't too bad, and you made some money, too.

[MKSquared]

Awww! That's so kind of you to think of me!

I was scheduled for the lunch shift - because you know everyone goes out to eat for lunch on Thanksgiving :rolleyes: - and we cut down our staff to the bare bones, and I was one of the lucky ones who got to leave before 3 PM! Yay! I hightailed it to Cleveland and made it there by 6 - in time for grace before dinner, even!

I did notice that everyone who came in was really quite nice, both in attitude and in tips. That definitely made my day go by quicker. As a staff, we mostly felt sorry for anyone who was there by themselves, but who knows, maybe they felt sorry for us working! :D Thanks for helping that server out - it probably made her day.

Thanks for offering to help with my turkey, too! I relied heavily on my grandmother when I did cook it yesterday. It was a 5# breast that I cooked with a maple/orange glaze. The turkey was beautiful - until I attempted to carve the thing. :D I was nervous, though, when I opened it, and there was still a good portion of the neck still attached! :eek: Plus, since it was a breast, it seemed very comfortable to stand on its head ... :D