"Song for Myself"

[bobmark226]

Self-contained and self content, is loneliness a crime?
I take the day for quite a ride,
and I take my own sweet time.
--Paul Simon

About a month ago, I asked my roommate, Lucy, who'd lived with me for two years, to move out. There were other issues, but this was finally precipitated by bad kitchen behavior (Hello? You're scrambling eggs in a twenty dollar cup when there are at least a dozen bowls?) and a broken Polder scale....NO ONE FOOLS WITH MY KITCHEN!!! :rolleyes:

She moved out on Monday and because this was all going on, I shipped Lucky out to Tony's to avoid further commotion.

On Monday night, the wonderful reality of it all hit me. I was completely and totally alone for the first time since I moved there thirty five years ago! I went into the room, which is on the front and fairly bright, and did a few dance steps of pleasure to celebrate.

I've had four lovers there, more roommates than I care to count in the interim, and six dogs. I actually began to wonder if I could leave Lucky in Hoboken permanently, where he makes them quite crazy.

I've decided, for now, anyway, not to rent. This is going to mean a sharp financial adjustment, and while it's not unmanageable, it does mean there'll be less nonsense spending, but of course I always have the option to rent if it gets to be more than I care to carry.

Really, though, I'm tired of living with other people's idiosyncracies. I have enough of my own, thank you, and it will be interesting to see how this goes.

Then again, these bulldog puppies are awfully cute!

A new friend? (http://www.generalsk9.com/photos.html)

Bob

[Wendy w]

Bob, I say bravo to you! It has been my lifelong dream to have a place all to myself. I moved last year from a place where I had incredibly cheap rent, but the environment was unpredictable (some bb’ers may remember the saga of “Casa del Wacko”) to somewhere more pricey. Even though it is still a room mate situation, it is a better environment, and although it has put a dent in “frivolous” spending, I find that my piece of mind is priceless. Good luck to you with your decision.

I love bulldogs, but it may annoy Cordel.

[BarbaraL]

It sounds like you should enjoy your solitude, at least for awhile. I love my family, but I really do enjoy having the house to myself when they're out. DD's said the same thing (while worrying about hurting my feelings!). I've actually never lived alone; grew up with my family; had roomates at college (although I did have a single bedroom within a townhouse senior year!); back home with the family; moved into a house with roommates; then an apartment and house with my husband.

The puppies are adorable! Of course, without a roommate, you'll have no backup for feeding/walking him/her if you're not around.

[jem927]

Bob,

Good for you! Enjoy the peace and quiet of your place for awhile!

I remember when I bought my townhouse, the first night was absolutely wonderful!

No neighbors upstairs, no roommate, no traffic outside.. just perfect silence! It was wonderful!

Enjoy for a bit, then buy a puppy! They are adorable!

Jamie

[donleyk]

I'll second the bravo! And I wanted to say that bulldog pup couldn't be any cuter! Good luck.

[bobmark226]

Originally posted by BarbaraL
Of course, without a roommate, you'll have no backup for feeding/walking him/her if you're not around.

LOL, Barbara, I can tell you've never lived with a roommate. Most of them are quite useless when it comes to such practical things, although I did have one who loved a former Springer of mine so much he would disappear for whole afternoons with her, parading her all over town, and causing considerable anxiety.

Jamie, it did actually get kind of weird last night, the second night. I realized that I'd never bothered to lock the door properly because I was still waiting for her to come in!

BTW, Tony, my co-owner, already told me that he wants me to keep the room empty and not make it into a library, den or pantry. :mad:

Thanks for the bravos, too, although I'm sorry I missed the "Casa di Wackos," Wendy. I think.

Bob

[Wendy w]

Originally posted by bobmark226

Thanks for the bravos, too, although I'm sorry I missed the "Casa di Wackos," Wendy. I think.


The Casa de Wacko situation was definitely a difficult time that is well behind me. If I talk about it (especially the grand finale), I must have cocktails. :eek:

[gertdog]

Originally posted by bobmark226
Most of them are quite useless when it comes to such practical things, although I did have one who loved a former Springer of mine so much he would disappear for whole afternoons with her, parading her all over town, and causing considerable anxiety.


Hey, I had that housemate! I'd come home from work and he and Gertie would be gone, leaving me wondering if there'd been some veterinary emergency, or just a trip to the park. I can't complain too much though, because he genuinely adored her. I felt lucky to have a roommate who enjoyed my dog so much rather than merely enduring her enthusiastic presence.

I've only lived alone once, and only for one year. The apartment I could afford was a hovel, but it was all mine and I loved it! Enjoy your newfound solitude and unbroken kitchen toys!

[rosie_one]

I lived alone for about a year too... in a "lakeview" apartment in Chicago. Meaning if you stuck your head out the window (assuming you could chisel it open) and craned your neck to the far left, you could see the lake beyond the parking lot and the drive. Niiiice.

Hope you enjoy your solitude. I can imaging it would be nice.

[jtoepfert100]

I love DH, but living alone is heaven! For the most part, I had okay roommates when I had them, but I prefer to choose when I have people around me. I suppose this make me curmudgeony but so it is.:rolleyes:

Enjoy, Bob!

[MISSINDI]

I lived by myself for about five years and loved, loved, loved it - as much as I love having our house to myself when dh and our son are out together. Sometimes a little bit of peace and quiet is exactly what you need, as much as you love the people you live with.

Bob - enjoy your new-found freedom!! :D

Jen - WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR SIG LINE? You promised.... gosh, and the avatar too? What the heck is going on here? ;)

[Melman]

Enjoy the peace and quiet!!! My son headed to college 4 years ago. Our dog died not long after that. I have been in my house totally alone for nearly three years. I love it! I have friends and family nearby if I get lonely.

[SueK]

Bob, I can relate. I lived on my own for quite awhile before DH and I dated and moved in together. I still crave solitude a lot. When he's out of town and the girls are in bed, I love nothing more than sitting down with a good book and a nice glass of wine and enjoying the peace and quiet.

Enjoy your newfound peace!

[tbb113]

Enjoy your solutide Bob. I totally enjoyed being free of roommates and I'm looking forward to the day in the somewhat distant future when the boys grow up and move out :)

The puppies are adorable...it would be hard to choose just one.

[Kyra]

Enjoy your peace and quiet, Bob! I agree that living on one's own can be wonderful, especially in terms of solitude (and lack of broken items).

I have a suggestion to help offset the lack of income from a roommate. What if you took in the occasional lodger? For instance, maybe a pleasant, tidy, quiet person from the CLBB who wanted to visit the city and promised she wouldn't even step foot in your kitchen without permission (let alone break things) would be just the ticket. You could even serve breakfast, and call it a B&B in NYC for the CLBB!

Sorry, that was awful, but I couldn't resist. Here's wishing you wonderful times all on your own!

kyra

[jtoepfert100]

Originally posted by MISSINDI


Jen - WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR SIG LINE? You promised.... gosh, and the avatar too? What the heck is going on here? ;)

Alright, sorry - I get bored easily. I'll give you a few more days.;) Now, back to your regularly scheduled program. . .

[BarbaraL]

Originally posted by bobmark226


LOL, Barbara, I can tell you've never lived with a roommate. Most of them are quite useless when it comes to such practical things.

Bob

Actually, I was a roommate, and used to help take care of my roommate's cat (or take care of it when she wasn't around). I love animals, and am the regular dogsitter when friends go on vacation. I've had roommates that helped with the chores, and some who seemed to confuse me with the (non-existant) maid (of course, DH does that sometimes, too). :o Maybe that's the trouble, we're the practical, get-it-done ones -- the ones who make great roommates for other people.

[MiMo]

Oh, Bob...living alone is bliss. I have lived alone since I graduated college eight years ago and I love it. I went through many very lean times when every cent of my paycheck went to rent and other bills, but I wouldn't have traded my space and sanity for anything. The worst part of living alone for so long, though, is that I am having a very hard time committing (don't say the "M" word!) to my DBF. I just love the fact that we have separate residences (which some people think is weird, but I don't care).

Enjoy your space and silence. :)

[bobmark226]

Originally posted by Kyra
I have a suggestion to help offset the lack of income from a roommate. What if you took in the occasional lodger? For instance, maybe a pleasant, tidy, quiet person from the CLBB who wanted to visit the city and promised she wouldn't even step foot in your kitchen without permission (let alone break things) would be just the ticket. You could even serve breakfast, and call it a B&B in NYC for the CLBB!

Actually, Kyra, you're not far off from some thinking I've been doing which, oddly enough, did not include breakfast for CL BBers! There is a huge demand for short term stays, many posted at Craigs List for those who know it: exchange students willing to pay $1500 a month, researchers on short term projects, businessmen who need a place for a night or two a week, etc. All it would take is furnishing it lightly. And of course, if NYC gets the Olympics, the place could be a gold mine!

There is the issue of my beloved Lucky, though: he's quite insane. :rolleyes: Aside from that, it's most likely against co-op rules to generate that kind of traffic or use the space that way for obvious reasons. I know I'd probably be the first to pitch a fit if I found out a neighbor was doing it.

Bob

[eas11]

Originally posted by bobmark226


Actually, Kyra, you're not far off from some thinking I've been doing which, oddly enough, did not include breakfast for CL BBers! There is a huge demand for short term stays, many posted at Craigs List for those who know it: exchange students willing to pay $1500 a month, researchers on short term projects, businessmen who need a place for a night or two a week, etc. All it would take is furnishing it lightly. And of course, if NYC gets the Olympics, the place could be a gold mine!

There is the issue of my beloved Lucky, though: he's quite insane. :rolleyes: Aside from that, it's most likely against co-op rules to generate that kind of traffic or use the space that way for obvious reasons. I know I'd probably be the first to pitch a fit if I found out a neighbor was doing it.

Bob

Too bad, what a good idea.
Enjoy your time alone, Bob.