Sad story, what to write to an acquaintance

[jjsooner73]

A found out today that the boyfriend of a former coworker died Saturday.
http://www.gsm.uci.edu/NewsAndEvents/MJMemorial.aspx

Apparantly, he died in a water polo playing accident at a charity MBA event at Stanford. He was at the bottom of the pool for about 30 minutes before anyone noticed.

THe girl I knew was on the phone when all of this happened and is experiencing tremendous guilt. She hung up the phone, realized she couldn't find him, and I guess that is when it was noticed.

I have her address and am going to send a card, I just don't know if there is anything I can say. The person she was talking to was an exbf and she has said she never wants to talk to him again. She just doesn't need to turn away from her friends now. She's only 25 or 26 and has lived a fairly sheltered life. I haven't actually talked to her since she moved, though knew through friends she was doing well and dating someone.

So tragic...

[Gecko]

What a tragic accident. I think all you can do is let her know that you are thinking of her, and there should she need you. It is probably her grief "talking" when she seems like she is pushing people away, it effects everyone differently.

[oceanjasper]

That is a very sad story. I can understand your friend's feelings of guilt. If it were me, I would be thinking about everything I could have done differently to change the outcome. I know that there were lots of people there, including the other players, who didn't notice he was gone, but as individuals, we tend to take it all upon ourselves and find the greatest deficiencies in our own actions. I hope she can find peace through it all. Letting her know that you are thinking of her is a really nice thought.