Kids and chores

[krhm]

At what age did you start your children doing household chores? And what types of chores did you assign?

My daughters are 5 and almost 9, and we'd like to encourage more responsibility. They do have some chores, such as making their beds, and putting away laundry, and my oldest also helps with the trash. Yet they still seem to take many things for granted, leaving food, toys, and clothing all over the house. If asked to help with an additional chore, such as clearing the dinner table, they grumble and complain.

I'm just curious what others do to compare.

Kari

[lhall]

We started our girls with chores around age 4. We tend to be more lax in the summer, but they are getting better.

DD1 is 7 and she has to make her bed, put her dirty clothes in the laundry basket (upstairs) and set the dinner table. We also make her clean her room and the play room when they get messy. We don't help and she must pass 'inspection'.

DD2 is 4 and she asked for chores. She has to clean the table off after dinner, empty the small trashcans and put in new bags, and put ther dirty clothes in the laundry basket. We will add making her bed when she starts pre-k next month. She must also help clean her room and the playroom. She's still young enough that we help her mostly because you have to keep reminding her to stop playing and clean up.

I've also started making them help clean the house. I'm a recent convert to the disenfectant/cleaning wipes (I like the 3M ones with the scrubby side). These make it so easy to clean the bathroom. I give the girls each one and one cleans the bathroom counter then the toilet and the other cleans the shower. They also have to straighten up the living room and sunroom downstairs if they mess them up.

DD1 gets an allowance, but we don't tie that to chores.

Leigh

[krhm]

Thanks, Leigh, for your post. I don't think I'm being unreasonable about the small amount I ask my girls to do, but I have several girlfriends with children the same ages and those kids aren't responsible for anything. One mom even cleans their rooms!

Do you have a chart or anything (perhaps a schedule?) that helps to keep track of things?

[srahndennis]

I'll be interested in the responses, too!

DS just turned six. He brings his plate to the sink after dinner and definately cleans up his toys. He's been putting his dirty clothes, sorted in the correct basket, since he was about three. We really haven't done anything further.

[clairea]

My kids are 5 and almost 8. Pretty much daily (I occasionally let it slide:) ) they make their beds, pick up their bedrooms and any toys in the family room, put dirty clothes in the hamper, set the table, put away their dishes after meals, , and help feed the pets. I will ask them to do other things as needed (maybe 3-4 times a week) such as dusting with the swiffer duster, helping empty the dishwasher, emptying trashcans, putting away their clean clothes, etc.

Claire

[KimE]

I have 3 DD's and they started doing chores at about 6. One thing that has been mentioned a lot so far is cleaning their rooms and making their beds. I have never considered this a chore, it is their space and has always been expected of them, as well as putting the laundry in the basket.
I started out giving them little things like dusting, shaking out the rugs, and picking up the main living areas. Helping clear and set the table. As they got older about 11 they had to start vacuuming, one had upstairs, another downstairs and the other had to sweep the bathrooms. I had a list on the fridge and they would check off as they did it, so there was never any "I forgot". When they were a lot older about 14, in the summer when I worked they had to pretty much do all the house work, that way on the weekends or after work we could go do things because I didn't have to do cleaning at home.

As far as allowance goes, they received a little a week, but only due to doing chores. We never gave them money just to give them money. We always tried to teach them that cleaning your room is part of life, not to be rewarded and no one walks down the street and hands me money once a week, you earn it.

Hope this helps, it is a very important lesson is life that you are teaching them right now, just remember that when they start complaning.

Kim

[lhall]

No, I don't have a schedule.

We do distinguish between them. DD1 used to clean the table off and we made her scrape the plates & put them in the dishwasher. DD2 doesn't have to do that (or put up the placemats since she's too short to reach the drawer).

Some times I get them to dust or put their clothes away. I also make them strip the sheet off their beds.

Leigh

[krhm]

Kim, you make a great point about their rooms being their responsibility. I had a talk with DH last night, and I think that's what it comes down to for us. Right now they aren't really respectful of our things, and if they make a mess it's torture to get them to pick it up. I guess that changes the scope of my original question then!

[Kristilyn1]

My son's are 6 and 9. We started chores at about age 5. They both make their beds, clean their rooms, put away dirty clothes. They each vacuum their own bedrooms, plus the other rooms upstairs. They each have to empty the bathroom garbage on garbage day, and often I ask them to bring it out to the curb. They both take turns taking the dog out for potty breaks and they take turns feeding her. They have to clean their playroom and I often (though not every day) have them empty and load the dishwasher. My oldest mows our front lawn, with the riding mower and both helped us load and spread about 4 yards of mulch earlier this spring--that was not required they volunteered to do it. Even with these chores, they constantly have to be reminded to pick up their rooms and would probably be total slobs if left on their own. They also each make their own breakfasts--every day and on stay home days, they make their own lunches (unless it's something that needs to be cooked) though my oldest can make pancakes and scrambled eggs unassisted. I just keep reminding myself that it's my job to make sure I don't send two more helpless men into the world for their wives to train! LOL

Kristi

[Chefzhat]

Kristilyn's right - better train them now, or some future daughter in law is going to be very unhappy with you!:)

My boys as 10 and 12, and they've been doing chores since they've been 5. Started out with simple things like emptying trash, making beds, etc. Here's where we are now:

12 year old: empty and fill dishwasher, vacuum lower level, put away clean clothes, yard work, clean his bathroom, cook dinner 1x week, make bed and keep room clean.

10 year old: make bed and keep room clean, vacuum upstairs, windex front doors, clean all TV screens, empty trash, put away clean clothes.

Here's my trick: I pay very well. If they do all their chores without me asking, I pay them allowance. If I have to ask, I don't pay. They still have to do the chores, though. This totally eliminated the "I don't need the money so I won't do my chores this week" argument.

I'm a tough old broad - just ask them!

[Kristilyn1]

I should add, we pay an allowance of $5 a week. It is not tied to chores though, because you never have the option of not doing chores! We are a family and we have a family home that all of us have to help out with. I believe the allowance is very high, but they are required to save approximately half of it, though exceptions are made periodically. They rarely spend it on cheap stuff and prefer to save it for bigger things. They've saved and bought their own Gamecube and all the games they have. They each bought a small fishtank and fish, etc. I like the idea of allowance because I dislike buying toys/stuff between birthdays and Christmas and this gives them the opportunity to have money to spend, but even more importantly to figure out where money goes, what you can get if you save it, etc. I feel if the amount was too low, it would be harder for them to figure out the lesson of saving. I think it's working too on some levels because when they spend their own money it takes them FOREVER to pick something out, versus mom's money can be spent in a heartbeat. They have learned some valuable lessons about buying toys that LOOK good, but are junk. They are learning this slowly, but surely.

Kristi

[MISSINDI]

With my stepdaughter, we started around 5. I'd have a list of things for her, with a dollar amount attached once she completed them all. When she was done, we'd take her to the bank, and half the money she had to deposit in her savings account, and the other half she could spend as she wished. As she gets older, the money increases, as does the complexities of the chores.

Our son turns 3 in a few weeks and LOVES to help out with chores: emptying and loading the dishwasher, clearing the table, putting things away in the refrigerator, etc. and I'll let him pick out a book at the bookstore for helping. I am crazy about reading, and grew up with a love for reading that I'd love to see him pick up on - so far, he seems to be. He disdains TV and never watches it, by his own choice. Unlike my stepdaughter (11), who will very happily watch static if that's the only thing on. Ugh.

[KimK]

My husband and I do the same thing Debie does. (In fact, she was sort of my chore mentor when I gained a stepson 6 months ago.) Pay a nice allowance, and if the kid doesn't do the chores on time, he doesn't get the money.....but he still has to complete the chores.

My stepson is almost 10 and lives with us full time. He LOVES chores. We create a monthly calendar with each day's chores on it. Every morning when he gets up, the first thing he does is check the calendar to see what chores are on the list. We found this works better than coming up with chores each day on the fly.

We have him do things like clean the front of the fridge and dishwasher, take out trash and recycling (and wash under those bins), wash under the sink, pick up sticks in the yard, sweep the garage, sweep the kitchen floor wash his bathroom sink every other day and clean the bathroom once each week. We give him 3-4 chores each day, depending on what they are. In addition to that, every day he keeps his room clean, bed made and sets the table for dinner.

We try to include chores where he's cleaning up after himself - washing the grimey fingerprints off the back door, wash the floor around the base of the toilet every other day, etc. - so that hopefully, he'll get sick of cleaning up his grime and be a little less careless. ;)

Stepson also understands that we will ask him to do additional chores at any time. He's so good about chores, when he saw me wiping down the front of the stove, he said "why don't you put that job on my chore list?"

[littlelion1961]

This is a good thread; as a parent of grown sons I would like to add regrets I have:

My sons could maintain a home and repair a vehicle by the time they were in high school - electronics, general repairs, etc. My husband was sooo talented in those areas and the boys tailed along with him once they could walk and learned many valuable skills.

My regrets: I never taught them to cook or basic nutritional guidelines nor did we teach them money management; so in those areas they learned by trial and error. After college they both had some major debts to overcome. (They took care of them, not DH and me.)

My advice here is let them see/participate with your budgeting processes and help them become comfortable in a kitchen.

~Paula