Toddler and Newborn sharing a room?? Advice please!

[Mac's Mom]

Hi - I'm a frequent lurker and am hoping some of you more experienced moms can offer me some advice! Thanks in advance...

Here's the situation: I am due in January with baby #2. Our son will be 21 months when the baby arrives. We would really like the kids to share a room, at least for the first year or so. Both kids will be in cribs - our son loves his crib. We already have the second crib on hand, so that's not a problem. By sharing a room, we will solve the problem of where to put the glider (we still rock our son for a few minutes every night) and we don't have to spring for another set of furniture just yet. We also get to keep our guest room intact, which is important because our family is all far away and when they come to visit, they usually stay a week or so. One other thing - we do plan to put the new baby in his/her crib from day one (no bassinet in our room). We did this with our son, and for us it just worked really well. He was happy and we were happy (I don't mind getting out of bed to nurse, etc. - I wake up completely anyway).

So that's the background... I'm wondering if we're crazy to think this will work!?!? The reason I am stressing about this today is because last night we had our first thunderstorm of the season and it woke our son up. Needless to say, there was a lot of crying and screaming (not out of fear - he wanted milk and we only give him water during the night) and it went on for two hours! :( This is out of the norm for him (he slept through Fourth of July fireworks no problem) but it was bad enough that it got me thinking - what if the baby wakes him up and this is the result? what if he wakes up and we want to let him cry, but he wakes the baby up? are we insane??? (can you tell I'm sleep deprived and overanalyzing today :rolleyes: )

So please - any of you who have experience with this sort of thing, please offer this tired mom some advice (pro or con)... I really appreciate your help!

Mary Beth

PS: One funny sidenote - when I went to check on our son last night, his crying woke up baby #2 in utero and for the next two hours, while the older one cried and screamed, the younger one never stopped flipping and kicking in my belly. Not sure if it was out of sympathy for his/her brother or irritation, but it kind of made me smile! :) And made me wonder what I'm in for... :confused:

[RunnerKim]

Our kids share a room - Lainey just turned 3 and Jamie is 5 months. It's working just fine. Jamie was in a cradle in our room for the first 12 weeks and for a little bit after that he would go to sleep in the swing downstairs and then we'd move him up to the crib after Lainey was well asleep. Now we put them down at the same time. Lainey's in a (toddler) bed so she can get out. Jamie was pretty close to sleeping through the night by the time he was in the same room - in fact it was Lainey who would be the one that would get up in the middle of the night the most often.

There are times when they will wake each other up when it's close to their normal wake up times. But just a couple of mornings ago Jamie woke up at 4am (he has a cold and I think he coughed himself awake) and was making a lot of racket but that didn't wake up Lainey.

I've heard it gets challenging when the 2 kids can intereact with each - so when the younger one is probably at least 12 months, more like 18 months maybe and progressively worse (kids and evening routine dependent).

Lainey has some issues with coughing and vomitting (asthma, sensitive gag reflex etc.) and i thought there's no way we can deal with that - which often involves cleaning up, changing bed sheets, etc. and have a baby sleep in the room. The worst is probably yet to come with the winter cold season starting but the couple of times we've had to deal with it, it hasn't woken Jamie up. It's amazing what they can sleep through.

We were all set to re-configure our computer room to put the baby in there too and decided to try them together first. I think it's worth a shot to do that if that's a better situation for the family and if it doesn't work out then you can move one to the guest room (and maybe when the guests are visiting you can use a pack 'n play in your room for the baby)

Kim

[Grizzly]

So I do not have personal experience as I have no children, but my brother faced this situation. He and his wife have two kiddos 17 mos. apart, both girls. They moved the 17 month into her own room prior to No. 2's arrival. She NEVER slept in the new room very well, but once No. 2 came she moved back into the same room with her sister and slept, well, like a baby. There was actually something about hearing her sister rustle that calmed her and actually allowed her to sleep better...

A hopeful scenario, I know, but they did not have problems even with night-feedings, etc.

[LaurenG]

I have a 3 1/2 year old(Ellie) and an 8 month old(Liam) and we are in the same boat. Honestly, I would recommend putting them in seperate rooms if you can. It's doable, but if your 2nd one doesn't sleep as well as your first, you will be an exausted mom with a toddler up throughout the night and up for good at 5am!!! We didn't have a choice because I have a home biz and need an office. Liam was colicky and ended up in our room until he was 5 months old! They do ok now, but Ellie used to sleep until 8am and now gets up at 6 with Liam. It just makes adjusting to 2 a lot harder in my opinion.

One of my good friends had frequent guests intown, so they bought their toddler a full sized bed instead of a twin, so their guests could sleep in her bed when they were in town and she sleeps on a trundle in their room. I thought that was a great idea!

[krhm]

When DD2 was born, we had two rooms, but they were right next to each other. DD1 was almost 4 at the time, and she would wake up when DD2 did. I think it really depends on your kids...DD2 was not a good sleeper and had a great set of lungs! :D

[Mac's Mom]

Thanks to all of you for your advice/experiences! I really do appreciate it. I think I am now leaning toward separate rooms - my 18-month old is usually a really good sleeper and I don't want to take the chance of messing that up while dealing with a newborn too.

Thanks again! And if anyone else has any thoughts - feel free to weigh in!

[erinl]

We had separate rooms, but right next to each other. DD has never been a good sleeper, but DS's crying never woke her up. Their pediatrician actually recommended I put them together. His reasoning was that hearing DD move around/snore, etc would make DS more secure and sleep better. Now DD is 3 and DS is 1 and they RARELY wake each other up.