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View Full Version : ISO advice, recipe ideas for father's b-day party


makedah
06-03-2001, 08:50 AM
Sorry for the long post, but it's fairly complicated...

My father will be 60 years old in July, and my mother and I are planning to have a birthday party for him. We don't have a total guest list yet, but there will probably be around 15-20 people there. We want a buffet-style meal or heavy hor d'oeurves (haven't decided yet) and we will have a bakery-made birthday cake. It's going to be primarily a stand-up and mill around type of thing. My parents don't drink, and my mother is anti-alcohol, so there will be no booze there or food that contains alcohol of any kind.

My mother and I are very excited about this, and its giving us an opportunity to bond. We haven't always had a good relationship, but recently, we've been chatting almost every day. The problem is that my mother and I ALWAYS clash in the kitchen at holidays so if there's going to be another blow-out, I can see it happening then. I'm the oldest, so I take a lot of responsibility in the household, which she really likes. However, we both have control issues, take different approaches to cooking and to top it all off, the kitchen is tiny. So you can imagine! I can already forsee some big problems. Example: We were chatting about what to serve. My mother asserted that the food should be really simple because the guests weren't coming for the food anyway. http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/eek.gif She suggested a roasted turkey, rolls, and some broccoli casserole. "No! No! No!" I screamed inside, but tried to play nice. I thought, "A roasted turkey in JULY? And I know she's only going to season that turkey with salt and pepper. Broccoli casserole? I believe my mother's broccoli casserole involves Cheese Whiz. We can't serve that at a PARTY!" So I'd like advice on how to avoid fighting with my mother about choosing dishes or the actual cooking. I thought about splitting the dishes - she makes two or three, I make two or three.

The second thing I'd like is some suggestions for what dishes to cook. We're southerners, my parents have a poor/working-class background and they like plain food. (When her cousin visited, my mother served stewed turkey wings, rice, macaroni and cheese, collard greens and pie.) I, of course, want to spice things up a bit, but I don't see the point in springing something too exotic on them or their friends. Keep in mind that I will be flying into town and can't bring my equipment (although I will have my spices in tow). The dishes I cook will have to be prepared without a food processor, for instance. We live in a fairly small town, so local shopping options are limited. I'll be in town about a week before the party, so I probably can't bring stuff like bread or fruit/veggies with me unless they can be frozen when I get there. We don't have a ton of money to spend on the party, so really expensive ingredients won't work. The good thing is that my father has a great garden and there will likely be tomatoes, yellow squash, zucchini and eggplant at the ready.

Finally, there are some health issues to consider. My mother and father have hypertension and my father has been successfully treated for high cholesterol -- the foods should not be too salty or fatty. My parents are also lactose intolerant - so no dishes that are heavy in soft cheeses. Milk can be an ingredient, however. Also, my father doesn't eat pork anymore. I know that at least one of the potential guests is diabetic.

I'm asking for recipe ideas early because I want to start trying out some dishes to help me decide.

I keep telling myself that the primary thing here is to celebrate my father's birthday and enjoy my family. I grew up eating this good, plain food so I don't want to seem like a snot (or a snob) now! But at the same time, I want to showcase my talents -- that's part of the fun of throwing the party. I want to enjoy cooking and eating, too!!! Any help on dealing with my mother (and myself) or suggestions for the menu would be greatly appreciated.

[This message has been edited by makedah (edited 06-03-2001).]

[This message has been edited by makedah (edited 06-03-2001).]

cammiller
06-03-2001, 10:10 AM
I can sympathize with your dilemma. My in-laws are of the same background, and there is always a turkey, ham, corn bread, and collards at every gathering.

Because your father has a big garden, you may want to make a pot of ratatouille (sp?). It would be a nice side dish and take advantage of every vegetable you mentioned.

Ham biscuits are always a favorite in the South. I use those little Pepperidge farm party rolls, slice them in half while still connected, butter the halves, add a little course ground mustard, then mound with shaved ham. Put the rolls back together, cover with foil, heat in the oven for about 10 minutes. Take the foil off for the last 3-4 minutes. These can be made in "bulk" pretty far in advance.

Try several cold salads, too. New potatoes steamed with the skins on, sliced, and dressed with green onions and balsamic vinagrette. Pasta salad with those fresh veggies cut up into it. A big fruit salad made with all those summer fruits.

A fruit pizza is nice, easy, and very pretty. Use a purchased tart base or make a sugar cookie base on a pizza pan, spread with a cream cheese/cool whip mixture for the "sauce" and then arrange fresh sliced fruits all over.

There's also a great marinated vegetable salad that uses corn, peppers, beans, pimentoes, etc. that sits for a couple of days and gets really good. Tastes sort of like bread and butter pickles. I can get you the recipe, if you want. It's a great make-ahead.

If your mother is still sold on a turkey, see if someone can do a deep-fried turkey. I have friends who rave about them. Even in the summer.

I hope some of these ideas help.

Cam

lindrusso
06-03-2001, 10:46 AM
I know where you're coming from, but it may be best to just let it go. You're on their turf, and it will be easier to just do it their way with maybe a dish or two of your own thrown in. I also live far away from my family and when I visited, I wanted to cook for them. BUT, I realized that I was most likely stepping on my SIL's toes, instead of helping out, which is what I had convinced myself I was doing.

If you don't have a great selection of ingredients in town and these people really prefer plain food, then your efforts will likely only succeed in stressing you out and leaving your guests wondering what the heck you're trying to get them to eat! http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif It's just not worth it (I know from experience - not with family, but with others I have cooked for!!!). And you said it yourself, the most important thing is to enjoy your family and to celebrate.

As for a suggestion about what to make, one thing that I can suggest is a veggie saute. The other night I sauted zucchini with shallots and some garlic. I tossed in some roasted red peppers and then put in a little balsamic. Later I decided that a few beans or pine nuts would have rounded out the dish very nicely. Anyway, that's one thing that would make use of the fresh garden veggies, would be low-fat and might not raise too many eyebrows!

Another dish to consider that would not be too "exotic", but it is tasty and healthy. It has Parmesan in it, but I'm including it because you said no soft cheeses:

TOMATO-ZUCCHINI GRATIN

3 medium zucchini, thinly sliced
4 medium ripe tomatoes, peeled and thinly sliced
3/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 teaspoon dried thyme
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon pepper
2 tablespoons olive oil

1. Mix together the Parmesan cheese, garlic, thyme, salt, and pepperl.

2. Arrange half the zucchini slices in bottom of an ungreased 8-inch square baking dish; top with half the tomato slices. Sprinkle with 1/4 cup Parmesan cheese mixture. Repeat, ending with the cheese mixture. Drizzle olive oil over the top. Bake at 400 degrees for 20 to 25 minutes. Serve with a slotted spoon.

Relax, let go, and enjoy yourself!! Take it from a semi-reformed control freak!! http://www.cookinglight.com/bbs/smile.gif