It's going to be a lonnnnnnnnnng day

[Paula H]

The phone call I've been dreading just came - Dr Love's mother is indeed flying in to see us for the day.

:(

Seven hours. I only have to make it through seven hours with her. I can do that, right? I can do that without feeling the urge to cry/run/slap her, right?

Sure, I'm kinda people-d out after having Dr Love's father stay for the last six days, so I'm grumpy and just want our house back to ourselves. And Dr Love's mother hates me (you're right, hate is such a strong word; she just really really really dislikes me) and her every little fussing, indecisive move drives me bonkers, but it'll just be a fabulous seven hours.

Won't it?

[jellyben]

Deep breaths. Seven hours is nothing-you can do this!!

Good luck!

[sneezles]

Sure it'll be a blast! Just imagine yourself doing all sorts of crazy things in response to her "fussing, indecisive moves" but be sure to be the most pleasant person on the outside! And remember it's only for 1 day!!

[engineer]

Paula - I just want you to know that I'm in your corner should you decide to take action ;) But girl I know that you can 'dance' around any fuss she should put up - just hang in there. 7 hours and you get your house back!!! :D Besides Dr. Love loves you and it really doesn't matter how unpleasant she is....she leaves, he stays :cool:

[Paula H]

Sure it'll be a blast! Just imagine yourself doing all sorts of crazy things in response to her "fussing, indecisive moves" but be sure to be the most pleasant person on the outside!

During her last visit, I spent a great deal of the evening (we went out to dinner) fantasising about choking her/the waiter throwing her through the window/the chef threatening her with a knife/other diners ganging up on her (gosh, I sound like such a lovely girl, don't I?!?!), especially after she took twenty minutes of whining self-debate to decide what she wanted for dinner.

Of course, Dr Love, his father and I had already decided we would go out to dinner tonight, so now I get to live through it all again!!

[sneezles]

During her last visit, I spent a great deal of the evening (we went out to dinner) fantasising about choking her/the waiter throwing her through the window/the chef threatening her with a knife/other diners ganging up on her (gosh, I sound like such a lovely girl, don't I?!?!), especially after she took twenty minutes of whining self-debate to decide what she wanted for dinner.

Of course, Dr Love, his father and I had already decided we would go out to dinner tonight, so now I get to live through it all again!!


LOL! I hate whiners! Make Dr Love order for her! Or have his folks seated at a different table...like you do with kids that misbehave! :p

[Sookie]

Just imagine her in her knickers. That's supposed to work!

[Paula H]

Paula - I just want you to know that I'm in your corner should you decide to take action ;) But girl I know that you can 'dance' around any fuss she should put up - just hang in there. 7 hours and you get your house back!!! :D Besides Dr. Love loves you and it really doesn't matter how unpleasant she is....she leaves, he stays :cool:

Oh engineer, can I come over and hide with you??

I know that his mother doesn't (and won't!) change how Dr Love feels about me (she's already failed in her attempt to get him to break up with me), but it's just not particularly pleasant to be around someone who really doesn't like you but you can't avoid. And she's all so very very conservative and we're really.... not. She usually spends most of her time frowning at Dr Love's dreadlocks and my shaved head. And fussing.

Four hours til her arrival...

[wallycat]

Can you serve cocktails? :D :eek: :)

[greysangel]

paula i feel your pain...i have to go to the uk with chaz to see his mum and I'm dreading the two days with her and his sister. :( No matter how happy I make him and how wonderful his life is with me, they can't get past the fat :(

[little_bopeep]

Hey, Paula...did you ever used to watch "The Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin?" Every time his wife would mention her mother, he fantasized about a hippo trotting by. Give it a try. :D

[tbb113]

I chant the following to myself when my father visits
"everybody does something that annoys me, he just does a lot of them'. It helps for some stupid reason

[Wendy w]

Can you serve cocktails? :D :eek: :)

I second the suggestion. It will be over with soon. Hang in there.

[Paula H]

Can you serve cocktails? :D :eek: :)

You know, it's times like these that I really start to question why exactly it is that I don't drink alcohol... :D

(obviously I was single and not having to deal with "in laws" when I made this decision ;) )

[colleency]

Can you schedule yourself for a massage or a pedicure the next day? That way, every time you want to kill her, you can kind of meditate on your upcoming prize.

[KimE]

You know, it's times like these that I really start to question why exactly it is that I don't drink alcohol... :D

(obviously I was single and not having to deal with "in laws" when I made this decision ;) )

It sounds like maybe a good time to start :D

Just do the deep breathing thing, and be thankful it is not for a couple of days. 7 hours, just treat it like a bad flight, you have to do it to get somewhere you want to be :p

Kim

[Paula H]

Can you schedule yourself for a massage or a pedicure the next day? That way, every time you want to kill her, you can kind of meditate on your upcoming prize.

I don't think we can afford that (having just bought a thousand bags of paving sand... exciting, huh?), but maybe I'll tell Dr Love that he owes me a massage, and will collect tomorrow (the benefits of having my clinic in our home - massage table access!!), plus we've got the first tango practica of the year on Sunday - maybe I can just focus on those to get me through...

Thanks for the idea!

[mbrogier]

Just imagine her in her knickers. That's supposed to work!

Aagghh. Not until your great aunt hikes up her skirt in the middle of dinner out to pull up her stockings--in the middle of a very crowded restaurant. :eek:

Paula, Imagine you have attack bunnies. Every time she scowls or whines they bite her toes. :D

My BIL grows a beard every Christmas because his mom hates it. She tries not to say anything, but you can tell she is peeved. BIL's wife spends all her time crooning about how cute BIL is, and bitching to everyone else because she's perfect and we aren't. I spend most of my time (a solid week) in the basement bangin my head against the boiler.

You on the other hand are just being yourself. You and Dr. Love are very happy. Who gives a flying flip what she thinks. When my MIL waxes eloquent, I imagine the adults on Charlie Brown "wah whah whah wah..." I can't understand a word she's saying. Just sit and nod. As for dinner, I just act like I'm taking toddlers out. :D

[mbrogier]

I don't think we can afford that (having just bought a thousand bags of paving sand... exciting, huh?), but maybe I'll tell Dr Love that he owes me a massage, and will collect tomorrow (the benefits of having my clinic in our home - massage table access!!), plus we've got the first tango practica of the year on Sunday - maybe I can just focus on those to get me through...

Thanks for the idea!

So, you have all the supplies in case you DO go crazy and kill the old broad. Smart!

[clairea]

Oh Paula, I feel your pain. DH and I have been married 10 years, and I suffer through some grueling moments. Recently, he commented how unfortunate it was that one of my SIL's (who only married into the family a couple of years ago) got so sick she had to stay in the bedroom when they came to visit DH's parents :D Clearly she has a stronger sense of self-preservation than I do, and my DH is way too naive!

[Paula H]

So, you have all the supplies in case you DO go crazy and kill the old broad. Smart!

Snort! I hadn't even thought of that!!

Okay, now I have my happy thought for the day!

[engineer]

Oh engineer, can I come over and hide with you??

I know that his mother doesn't (and won't!) change how Dr Love feels about me (she's already failed in her attempt to get him to break up with me), but it's just not particularly pleasant to be around someone who really doesn't like you but you can't avoid. And she's all so very very conservative and we're really.... not. She usually spends most of her time frowning at Dr Love's dreadlocks and my shaved head. And fussing.

Four hours til her arrival...

Ok GF two things come to mind
1) you most certainly can come and hide and I personally guarantee that no one will find you. Who would want to come to the frozen northland to look? :eek:

2) I say relish ever delicious moment of being the liberal bee in her bonnet so to speak. Personnally I love to be in a situation where I know that I'm bugging the beegeebers out of someone who annoys me. It's fun just to push buttons and see what happens. ;)

Oh and don't forget I've got most of the training for forensic investigating so if you need 'help' getting rid of the evidence - give me a ring :D

How about imagining tangoing across her face in those lovely shoes? :p

[engineer]

paula i feel your pain...i have to go to the uk with chaz to see his mum and I'm dreading the two days with her and his sister. :( No matter how happy I make him and how wonderful his life is with me, they can't get past the fat :(

Jeanne - I'm so sorry that this is upcoming for you. If it helps DM doesn't think I realize I'm overweight so she feels it's her duty to point it out to me :eek: She's done it my entire life, not just 2 days every so often. Thankfully MIL and SFIL are wonderful and will feed me if I so desire. Too bad MIL is a major flake and makes me angry about the way she treats her only child :mad:

[Paula H]

It's D-hour!!

Smiles people, smiles!

[mbrogier]

Do you have a big enough shovel? I have two snow shovels I could Fed Ex real quick... :D

[Peweh]

Ooh, Paula, looks like I'm too late to chime in in time. Hope it wasn't too grueling. The 2 cents I was going to offer (assuming Dr. Love is privy to your pain with Mother Love) is set up a code topic ahead of time. It could be something as vague as a category like Produce or maybe a fake name of some neighbors. Every time she's pushing you over the edge say something like "Dr. Love, did I tell you there was a great sale on avocadoes this week?" or "I found the best recipe for sweet potatoes" "Did you see the McSweeney's new car?" deep down you will be venting to DL saying "I hate her freaking guts" and assuming he's receptive to the game he'll reassure you with "I hope it's as good as that new spinach dish we tried" or "we really must have the McSweeney's over again."

GOOFY I know but it's gotten me through some harrowing IL family events.

[gabbyh]

OK Paula....how did it go?? We want details :D

~Gail

[Paula H]

Well, I made it, and no snow shovels will be needed! ;)

Main thing I learnt - Dr Love really is the most fantastic guy I can imagine. And I love him sooooooooo much.

Sadly I was unable to join the greeting party at the airport, as I was finishing up with a client (LOVE my client), but apparently Dr Love's mother burst into tears as soon as she saw him. We're not sure if this was (a) happiness to see him, or (b) sadness that he still has dreadlocks, but Dr Love's first thought of "Oh god, here we go...". She was actually reasonably nice to me when they got back to the house, but I was going with engineer's being-myself/bugging-her philosophy and so had already decided that I didn't care about her attitude one way or the other.

Dr Love then (love him, love him!) suggested that he take his parents up to see the wind farm (about half an hour away from us) - sadly (yes, I can tell you're all upset for me), I had to stay home, as a friend was dropping off our weekly egg supply and I had to pay for them and give her some cheesecake (leftovers from dinner with both our fathers the previous night - gotta love EW's chocolate cheesecake!). They were gone for about 90 minutes, which was fabulous! When they got back, we had an hour to kill before dinner - sat around, they opened their christmas presents, mindless chatter about things... time for the restaurant.

At one point when Dr Love leant over to kiss me and tell me he loved me, I returned his kiss and whispered "everytime I squeeze your leg, it's because I'm trying not to strangle your mother. Oh, and I love you too". His leg is a little bruised today. BOTH parents fussed about our holiday later in the year (we haven't booked accommodation yet?!?!? it's a lot of driving that Dr Love will have to do!! doesn't he realise that!?!?! where are we staying?? we don't know!?!?!!?); the fact that we're going away because I'm going on a course (and have a two and a half day break during it) was apparently incomprehensible - surely we'd only be going somewhere because Dr Love had a conference to attend!?!?!?

I focused a lot on the food, and did the Charlie Brown "wa wa wahh wah wa wah wah" thing - it helped. Eventually we dropped them off at the airport a bit early (neither of us even got out of the car - just said "bye" and watched them deal with the luggage), came home, and enacted a ceremony that, basically, involved running around the house in our underwear and shaking our thangs in every room of the house. (just as well the curtains were closed!)

So, I survived. I think I now understand just how it is that Dr Love is such a very patient man; growing up with those two, you'd have to be or you'd go crazy.

Thanks for all the support and strategies - already counting down to next year's visit!

And just in case you hadn't heard - I love Dr Love so very very very very much.

[mbrogier]

I'm glad you survived!

[SueK]

Paula - your post made me LOL. I'm glad things went well and you made it through! :)

[cniles]

Well, I made it, and no snow shovels will be needed! ;)

I focused a lot on the food, and did the Charlie Brown "wa wa wahh wah wa wah wah" thing - it helped.
.

Oh Paula - I just saw this thread and you had me laughing!!!! So glad it turned out ok and you were able to shake your thangs after it all was over!!! Dr. Love is a lucky man = and I believe YOU are a lucky woman!!! :)

[engineer]

YEAH!!!! Paula. I'm doing my own happy dance for you. Not only did you survive but you were victorious :)

[Peweh]

His leg is a little bruised today. .
Better woman than I! My DH's leg would be FRACTURED. Congrats on rising above the occasion and getting through it. Have a great weekend! I cracked up picturing the shake your thang happy dance. I've done that!

[Paula H]

Better woman than I! My DH's leg would be FRACTURED.

I didn't mention the bit during dinner where Dr Love yelped in pain, did I??? ;)

[memartha]

I love the report. I'm so glad the visit went better than expected for you.

[Randi R]

I didn't mention the bit during dinner where Dr Love yelped in pain, did I??? ;)

Too funny, what happened? :eek: