Shoes in the house, yes or no?

[Middydd]

Just curious if most people wear shoes in the house? Would you ask guests to remove their shoes? What about a party, can guests keep their shoes on?

I like to wear a pair of soft soled (non marking) shoes with a nice cushion in the house because of an old leg injury. If I go to someone else's house I bring my indoor shoes and change in the entranceway. Nobody has ever complained about my shoes but I hope I'm not offending anybody. Lots of households around here everybody removes shoes at the door, especially in the winter. I have one friend who insists you keep your shoes on.

My husband's family even removes shoes at the entrance to a hotel room.

[badunnin]

Depends on the weather. At my own house, I take mine off as a matter of comfort. Guests may do what they are most comfortable with. When visiting, I follow the wishes of my host/ess.

[foodlady]

We don't have a hard and fast rule about shoes, but tend to take them off at the door. (Because of winter and snow!) Most of our "company" are little people coming for a playdate, so they also take their shoes off. If I host a dinner party or something, I would expect people to leave shoes on. Honestly, I've never paid that much attention! My SIL has a fused hip and wears a lift in one shoe, so she always leaves hers on. I doubt you're offending anybody, especially if you're "changing" shoes when you come in!

[Aubergine]

this could've made a great poll!!! chez moi, there's never been a rule about shoes (other than mud, etc.). i automatically take mine off, for my own reasons, but i don't value my carpeting more than the comfort of my family and guests.:rolleyes: in fact, i rather despise people who insist that one takes one's shoes off at the door, altho' it's never ended a friendship. i have observed that kids are very adaptable on this one. i also get a laff when i pass other people's homes, and the dirty sneaks seem to 'live' on the front step, all 3-4 pairs of them. like that's what i want to encounter when arriving at someone's house.:eek:

fwiw, i do keep a stiff, bristly mat outside the main door, and another washable one inside every entry door. "Wipe your feet!" is commonly heard around here, although everyone's pretty well trained by now.

[Farhana]

No shoes. I request guests to take off their shoes. I keep my apt. super clean and shoes go everywhere, so we always take it off at the entrance. When I go somewhere I do the same unless insisted.

[Gumbeaux]

Just curious if most people wear shoes in the house? Would you ask guests to remove their shoes? What about a party, can guests keep their shoes on?

You're kidding, right?

[clairea]

The kids and I usually kick our shoes off right at the door, but it is just a matter of comfort. DH keeps shoes on, and it doesn't bother me. To be honest, I would find it very odd if someone other than a kid or a very close friend came to my house and took their shoes off. Maybe this is a regional thing, since we don't deal with the snow, etc. here, since I am pretty sure most people I know are the same -- anytime someone has wanted to take their shoes off at my house, they ask if I mind, first. I can only remember one time that we were invited to someone's home and asked to remove our shoes, and I was actually offended by it, since I had never heard of such a thing. Also, she had stone floors, and it was December -- it was cold!

[Chefzhat]

Ditto Clairea. I always wear shoes in the house. The boys take theirs off, but they are usually huge mess anyway.

I'd never ask a guest to remove their shoes. But that's just me.

Debie

[memartha]

I don't wear shoes in the house and don't allow the kids or DH to wear them in the house either. The kids' friends automatically remove their shoes when they come in. We have hardwood throughout the entire first floor, and the rubber soles on sneakers and casual shoes seem to leave tracks all over the floor.

When an adult friend comes over, I don't ask that they remove their shoes. If they decide to do so on their own, that's fine with me.

[hollysmom]

While I don't care if folks wear their shoes in my house, but what gripes me is when the 8 year old drops her shoes when she first comes in and leaves them EVERYWHERE! This kid pretty much goes barefoot all year in the neighborhood except when we have to leave the house.

I've started thinking about charging her a quarter for every shoe that I have to pick up.

SSM

[Middydd]

You're kidding, right?

I've been to parties where people insisted shoes come off, I've always felt silly in a dress and pantyhose feet or evening pants dragging on the floor because they're hemmed for heels.

[gertdog]

We don't wear shoes in the house- they come off in the entryway. We have old shoes for yardwork and such that live on the side porch and don't enter the house at all. We don't ask guests to remove their shoes. Some do, some don't, some ask, and we tell them whatever is most comfortable for them is fine.

[SandyM]

I automatically take my shoes off at another person's house, but that's based on my own comfort and the assumption that they'd rather shoes not be worn in the house. Best to err on the side of caution, right? ;) I remember Debie being aghast when I took my shoes off. Personal preference, dear. :D

At my house, as long as they're not caked with mud or dripping wet from snow, I don't mind shoes in the house. In the grand scheme of things, it's not a big thing to me.

[sneezles]

We don't wear shoes in the house but then we live on a ranch with ranch animals and ranch duties so there are days when the shoes/boots are full of muck. Guests can do as they please unless they've been in the pasture. :)

[clairea]

Now that I think about it, if I have guests in my home, I will put shoes on. I don't feel fully dressed for guests otherwise.

I always like it when these kinds of topics come up, because it always helps me remember how many different ways there are to look at even simple issues.

[Aubergine]

I've been to parties where people insisted shoes come off, I've always felt silly in a dress and pantyhose feet or evening pants dragging on the floor because they're hemmed for heels.

if i went to a party like that, i'd be wondering what else was expected to come off in the course of the evening.:eek: not a party i'd stick around long for.

thinking it through, i believe it's one thing to ask kids to take their sneaks off; it's quite another to have an evening party for adults in nice dress and ask them to park their shoes at the door.:rolleyes: i'd feel perfectly ridiculous in evening dress but sans Manolos.:D

[stacy7272]

DH and I grew up as in the house shoe wearers so that's what we did as adults. Then DS showed high levels of lead in his blood and since we don't have lead paint in our house we figured it was due to lead in the dirt (yes, dirt in Los Angeles has lead in it from when gasoline used to contain lead) so we cleaned our house from top to bottom and started taking our shoes off before we came inside.

When we went for the follow-up blood test for DS his lead levels were so low that the doctor said that the first test must have been in error because it is impossible for blood levels of lead to fall that quickly. We just hope that the test results didn't get switched with some other poor child whose parents won't be informed he/she has a high lead level. (DS has had more blood tests to confirm that it wasn't the second test that was wrong.)

That was all scary but we got a really clean house out of it! And we have sustained taking off our shoes before we come inside because it makes a huge difference - especially with kids!

It was also nice to have an excuse to have others take their shoes off - after all, our son could get brain damage if you don't! ;) Anyway, it since seems that lots of people we know have jumped on the "take your shoes off when you come into the house" bangwagon. I never knew of anybody who did that while I was growing up and now it seems like almost everyone I know does that now.

[trish_ks]

My best friend's family insists that you remove your shoes at the door, but they are Vietnamese and it's a cultural thing more than a cleanliness thing. Personally, I never wear shoes if I can help it (I can be caught taking my shoes off under my desk at work for most of the day!). But unless it's a close friend or family, I don't remove my shoes at someone else's house. Even if I had nice floors I don't think I would ask someone to remove their shoes in my house unless they're completely sludgey.

[gertdog]

this could've made a great poll!!!

Actually, it was- a few years ago. Not to discourage people from posting to this thread, just for fun if anyone wants to read the previous responses:

http://community.cookinglight.com/showthread.php?t=67819&highlight=shoes+house

[Gilgamesh37]

(treading very carefully---I used to belong to another board and the discussion on this topic got so inflamed that the mod had to lock the thread)

We generally are shoes-off inside our house because that's how we're more comfortable, but guests can do whatever they prefer. In the winter here people often do pad around sockfoot, but that's because you're usually of necessity in a big pair of boots outside.

As for feeling awkward being asked to remove your shoes---I went to a real estate open house once where everyone was commanded to remove their shoes. Several people had come in sandals---no socks---and were clearly uncomfortable to be walking around some stranger's house barefoot.....I'm betting they lost at least a few potential buyers.

[aggie94]

Growing up, there were NEVER shoes worn in the house, by us or by guests -- cultural thing. I never thought it was weird, nor did our guests (who were all part of the same culture). It was only when I started having "American" friends over from school that I realized that it might be unusual to have your guests remove their shoes before going inside. But none of my friends cared. They just thought it was funny.

Now, DH & I sometimes wear shoes around the house, sometimes not. We don't ask guests to remove their shoes but we also don't care if they do. It's all about comfort for us.

[Chefzhat]

I automatically take my shoes off at another person's house, but that's based on my own comfort and the assumption that they'd rather shoes not be worn in the house. Best to err on the side of caution, right? ;) I remember Debie being aghast when I took my shoes off. Personal preference, dear. :D

At my house, as long as they're not caked with mud or dripping wet from snow, I don't mind shoes in the house. In the grand scheme of things, it's not a big thing to me.

Oh yeah, you're welcome to take them off. I'd just never ask!

[jellyben]

We generally remove shoes when we come in the house, both as a matter of comfort and in an effort to preserve our carpet. When kids visit they usually remove shoes automatically or are prompted to do so by their parents. I prefer that they do so but would never insist. Many adults also remove their shoes, which is fine by me. But I would never ask anyone to remove their shoes unless they were obviously muddy.

There are a couple of neighborhood kids that routinely run around outside shoeless(to the park, in the stream, everwhere) and it quite skeeves me out I am tempted to tell them to put shoes ON when they come in my house!!

ETA I have found that people's standards for this type of thing vary widely. My kids and a neighbor kid were in my yard getting their socks all muddy. When they started to come inside I said they couldn't. The boy's mom said 'it's OK he can come in' and I responded in a lighthearted manner 'not in those socks he ain't!'

[kermit]

We always wore shoes in the house growing up, but DH's family never wears shoes in the house & pretty much a requirement that you take them off before entering his parents (or any of his relative's) homes. They are Chinese, so this is a cultural thing. It's the same for all my Chinese friends as well. They do supply house slippers for guests to wear, so if you aren't wearing socks they try to make it comfortable for you (at least that's what I think -- it may be that they don't want your dirty bare feet on their floor :D).

Anyway, I thought it was very weird at first & didn't like it at all! I also hate seeing a big pile of shoes right at the entrance (doesn't seem very feng shui does it?!).

BUT... we have adopted the custom in our own home and I have to say I LOVE having clean floors!!!! Especially with little kids in the house. It's amazing how gross the floors get when you walk around with shoes on. I don't require my guests to remove their shoes, but I appreciate it when they do :). I also try to keep the pile of shoes at our entrance to a minimum. We each have a cubby for our shoes, & I try to make sure there's only one or 2 pairs per person in the cubbys (not our entire shoe collection lined up at the door like I've seen in other homes).

[funniegrrl]

At home I often go barefoot in warm weather, or wear sockies or slippers in cold, just because I'm relaxing at home and that's comfortable. Guests may do whatever they feel comfortable doing. In an urban/suburban home, I cannot imagine telling guests they had to remove their shoes. Ever. If they are muddy or whatever, I might point out the mat outside the door. I have hardwoods and area rugs, but would never value their condition or cleanliness over the comfort (physical and otherwise) of visitors.

If I went to someone's house and they told me I had to remove my shoes, I would gladly comply if they were from a non-American culture where that was the norm. If that wasn't the case, though, and it was just a matter of floor condition or obessive cleanliness, I would not think highly of the request. If their floors are THAT important to them, they can just leave me off the guest list next time.

[MikeC]

We never have "dress-up" parties at our house. I hate to wear shoes inside, and so normally, even for a party at our house, I wear slippers. But I would never ask a guest to remove shoes.

We always have a mat outside and inside the front door, but I would never place the cleanliness of our carpet ahead of the feelings of our guests. If a guest wanted to slip off their shoes, they would certainly be welcome to do so. And, very occasionally, when I'm at a good friend's house, I'll ask if I can slip off my shoes.

I realize that different cultures have different habits. If I was asked to remove my shoes due to someone's cultural habits, I'd probably be surprised, but I would do so gladly. But to ask a guest to remove shoes to keep my floors clean -- I would never do that.

I'm curious -- for those who ask guests to remove shoes, do you have slippers or slipper-socks for people to slip on? Or do you expect guests to walk around in socks and hose??

[leightx]

I think this is largely regional. Here in Texas, where snow and sleet are practically nonexistant, I very rarely encounter anyone that takes their shoes off as a matter of habit. Mine come off when I get home just because I tend to put my feet up on the couch or coffee table (we're very uppity here ya know ;) ), and the kids' come off just because they're kids. I don't ask them to take them off - but once they're off, they need to go into the shoe basket under our foyer table - or else we never find them again.

I did go to a party once where our friends asked everyone to remove their shoes at the front door. It was pretty comical to see all the guys taking off their boots (and yes - it was pretty smelly!! :eek: ). My biggest problem is that it is so uncommon a request here that you just can't be prepared - what if you have holey socks, or mismatching ones?? Not a huge deal, but it could still be embarassing. Pretty much everyone at the party felt uncomfortable (and some just looked ridiculous), and that was the point at which DH and I decided we would never have any sort of "shoe policy" at our house.

There is a lady in our mom's club that has a sign on her front door stating that all guests must remove their shoes (and the playgroup rules are quite long as well) - I find that a bit much, but at least you know about it in advance. :rolleyes:

[aggie94]

I'm curious -- for those who ask guests to remove shoes, do you have slippers or slipper-socks for people to slip on? Or do you expect guests to walk around in socks and hose??

Growing up, I recall my parents having lots of pairs of Chinese house slippers/sandals around for guests to use if they wanted. Not sure how many did, though.

[jmarie]

We never have "dress-up" parties at our house.

Same here....You know, I have never thought about the no shoe policy, but it must be mandated, somewhere, because everytime my family comes down, they all leave their shoes at the door and I have never asked them to remove their shoes. I never wear shoes and maybe they are taking their cues from me. I had never really thought about it.

DH's family never takes their shoes off at MIL's house, so I am assuming if they were here, they would leave their shoes on. I always remove my shoes when I go to anyone's house, but I think it is because that is how I do at home, more than I think of rules....because as I said, DH never removes his.

Interesting thread, because as I mentioned, it had never occurred to me.
Joyce

[VALERIEA234]

No!!!
I Have Light Carpets, We Do Not Wear Shoes, But House Slippers Yes.
I Always Take My Shoes Off In Our Friends Homes No Matter What Anyone Else Does.

V.

[ChristieinMB]

I vagually remember the earlier thread, I never take my shoes off, never ask guests to remove their shoes. I just toured an apartment building I own, noticed several tenants had piles of shoes at the front door. They are being told to keep them inside. I hope they're not "culturally offended", I don't anything about the tenants, I just don't like the way it looks for other tenants.

[Natasha]

We don't wear shoes around the house, but if someone visiting wanted to, that would be fine. I remember as a kid there being lots of "shoe on" and "shoe off" households. Now I can't remember the last time I visited a "shoe on" household, if I can call it that. Interesting - I hadn't even thought of the concept for a long while!

Natasha

[GingerPow]

The entire house has hardwood floors or ceramic tile. We have kids and dogs and company running in and out, so no matter what, I vacuum and mop all the time.

I have to wear my sneakers because I slip on the hardwood in just socks. I need the traction since I walk back and forth doing things all day. I would look like one of those funny home videos where the cat is trying to run, and goes nowhere because his paws are slipping on the floor.

I don't require that people take their shoes off, only if they're really messy. My SIL is from the Phillipines and I know that it is their custom to take the shoes off when entering a home. As a matter of fact, it is considered very rude not to.

We have a vacation home in Vermont and everyone takes their shoes off when they come to visit. Since it is so often snowy, or muddy Vermonters do that as a courtesy to not track a mess in, we do it as well when visiting people there.

[mbrogier]

Rob and I take our shoes off most of the time when we come inside. We have a boot tray by the back door for our wet/snowy/muddy shoes. I wear shoes when I'm cooking because the floor is hard and cold. In the winter we wear socks, and I have them for guests. I don't expect visitors to take their shoes off, and if I don't know you well and you removed your shoes I might wonder a bit about you. :rolleyes: :p It kinda skeeves me out to think of all the people walking around on the floor in their socks spreading their germs to me in my stocking feet. I'd hate to go to a party like that. It's different if it is family relaxing at home or close friends.

I have nice things in my home, but nothing is more important than my family and guests' comfort.

[moonbeam]

I take my shoes off, as do the kids. DH is definitely a shoe guy. I don't ask others to take off their shoes at our house, but it seems a lot of people do. We also have hardwood floors, so cleanup is not that big a deal. If I am going somewhere, I ask if they want me to take off my shoes, especially if they have light colored carpet and it is wet or snowy out. I don't care how well I wipe my feet, the bottoms still seem wet.
As to whether socks have more germs than shoes, I'd think shoes would be germier.

[donleyk]

[QUOTE=Gilgamesh37
As for feeling awkward being asked to remove your shoes---I went to a real estate open house once where everyone was commanded to remove their shoes. Several people had come in sandals---no socks---and were clearly uncomfortable to be walking around some stranger's house barefoot.....I'm betting they lost at least a few potential buyers.[/QUOTE]

I've ignored this suggestion before. :eek: As far as I was concerned this was business, I wasn't there as a guest and as such I left my shoes on.

For the most part we always kick our shoes off. Muddy ones stay in the garage, others are kicked off in the laundry room. We even have a shoe rack in there just for that reason. I don't expect friends to take theirs off but are welcome to and our dearest friends pack their slippers when they come over! That's comfort. :D

[olchik]

I never allow guests to wear shoes in my house and always take it off in another houses. I wear slippers at my home.

[BarbaraL]

Growing up, my dad would complain that we didn't always wear shoes; he felt shoes should be worn in the house. I usually don't wear shoes in my own home, unless going down to the basement. I usually put shoes on to cook, in case I drop something on my foot!

Growing up, my best friend was Chinese; her family always took their shoes off at the door, and I always did to (I was never asked to). In most of the home I go to, people have shoes on. If the weather is bad, I'll wear boots, and switch to inside shoes inside the door.

[laurelhiker]

I'm kind of torn on this issue. On the one hand, my husband and I do NOT wear shoes in the house, although the floors are mostly hardwood and ceramic tile and we keep our house on the cool side. Mostly, this is a germ issue. Out and about throughout the day, shoes pick up everything (including what lives on the floors of public restrooms) and no matter how diligent one is about using mats, germs can be stubborn. I hate the thought of tracking the world's disgusting elements all over my house. Clean floors are a secondary issue, but still important.

As for guests, most take their shoes off at the front door. If they don't, I will not make an issue of it. In fact, I won't even mention it. While I (and my husband) would prefer that all shoes come off immediately no matter what, I think guest comfort is more important. I have to admit, though, that I'm probably not very good at pretending to NOT look at their shoes as they walk through my house. I also don't know that I would be bold enough to place slippers at the front door in the hopes that guests would automatically make use of them - even though I think it's a great idea in theory.

As for family, most take their shoes off at the front door because they have been trained by us to do so. My father, however, refuses, and while this bothers us no end, we haven't (for various reasons) been able to simply ask him to remove his shoes. So he's been known to walk around in wet, muddy shoes all over the house, after which I spend a great deal of time on my hands and knees cleaning up. I tried the "germ" angle with him; bottom line, he's going to do what he wants. I hate this, but it's not worth losing family over.

When I am a guest in someone's home, I automatically remove my shoes, if only because it's what I prefer in my home. Truth be told, I would prefer, as a guest, to keep my shoes on. But I always remove them. Does that make me a hypocrite? Probably. :)

-- GG

[SusanMac]

This topic was one of my favorite Sex & the City episodes!! Seems like a perfect topic for Seinfeld...surprised he never tackled this one. :-)

[DmOrtega]

I had a freind who insisted that shoes be removed before entering the front door. One day it was raining, my dh, kids and I had to stand on the 5'X5' concrete porch together, which didn't have very much of a cover, and remove our shoes before entering her house. I thought that was just crazy. Normally we could go into the house and stand on her 3'X4' throw rug, just inside the door. We never felt comfortable going to this freinds house and eventualy we stopped. At our house it is up to the guests. I would never make people coming over for a party to take their shoes off unless it was stated on the invitation that it was mandatory. People have the right to know ahead of time how to dress for the occasion, not at the front door.

[ChristieinMB]

Okay, I'm still floored, I've never had one guest remove their shoes at my house, am I giving off wrong signals. I would feel uncomfortable or rude entertaining guests without shoes. Also, the my desert home that I'm in now, is tile, that would be uncomfortable to walk on all day. I can't imagine giving a party and walking around "undressed". I am an informal person, I entertain informally, but I guess I don't have enough Asian friends. :)
My DIL is Asian, she never takes off her shoes at my house, her mother does not remove her shoes at her own house, I guess they are culturally challenged . :D
Funny thing, I remember moving into my beach house, loving my maple hardwood floors, then realizing it was not well sound proofed when my DIL (and son) were entertaining upstairs, as I listened in bed, her heels clunked all over the living room floor. I wasn't botherd by her, just the bad insulation.
You shoe off people, do you have baskets by the door? Do you have multi size/color slippers for guests. Do repairman remove their shoes?

[Leslie Ferguson]

I don't have a preference in my house (my carpets aren't that nice any more). But I've lived in places where it was the norm to remove shoes when entering the house and am quite comfortable doing it. When I lived in Hawaii the red dirt got everywhere and was a PITA to get out so shoes off. But then we also had indoor only shoes at the door if we wanted to wear shoes inside (and I mean the shoes were certainly indoors only - MOM was fanatical about it). When I was stationed in Japan it was a cultural norm to remove shoes. But there we kept house slippers (nifty little things really) at the door so people didn't have to go barefooted or in their socks/panty hose.

Right now, I tend to go without shoes but do wear slippers - mostly because the floors are cold here in Norfolk in the winter.

If I were going to enforce the rule of no shoes inside I'd probably provide slippers for guests. I would also imagine that I'd try to be flexible and if I was having a more formal affair (not that I ever do those things in my house anyway - I'm a little too casual for that) I'd allow people to wear their shoes - just because.

Interesting topic and rationale for doing (or not doing) shoes in the house.
Les

[dreamer]

I was not pleased some years ago when I visited a relative and they told us to take our shoes off at the door, because it would help keep their floors clean. I actually do really like the "clean" thing, but the thing was (and this continued to be true over the years)... their floors were clearly filthy!! :eek: So it always really grossed me out, plus got my socks dirty.
Then there was the time when they set all the food for a lunch outside, so you had to take your shoes on and off to go out and fill plates, glasses, etc. (I didn't have slip-ons.)
Then there's the issue of pants legs dragging on the floor when I'm shoe-less.
And the issue of my flat feet hurting after several hours without arch support.
A solution has been that I bring a pair of 'house-only' shoes with me when visiting. But you don't always know to do this in advance, as evidenced by other posts above.

[badunnin]

This reminds me of a few years ago when I visited the NH home of Dean Kamen (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dean_Kamen) . The house is massive. I mean, he had about 500 people for dinner. Anyways, we all wore hospital booties at the party - all except Dean. ;)

[Angelina]

I think it's rude to demand for people to take their shoes off. Sometimes people can be very uncomfortable with that, for various reasons. Some shoes get smelly, some socks have holes, some feet have a fungus that if you walk around barefoot you hope the host will catch it for making you walk around like that, or some feet just need the support of shoes.

I would never go back to a house where I won't be allowed inside with my shoes. My only exception is for cultural reasons, but then I would know in advance the shoes are coming off.

And if I have to take them off and my feet happen to be smelly, I will follow the host around like a puppy to make sure he/she gets his/her fill of it. Let's face it, nobody's perfect and sometimes it happens to the best of us.

Angela

[miller88]

Just wanted to chime in as another one who thinks it's ridiculous to ask adults to automatically remove their shoes. So many good reasons have been mentioned but the bottom line is the comfort of your guests. If you care so much about your flooring (and I am a clean freak!), you probaby shouldn't invite people into your home.

[bobmark226]

Seems like a perfect topic for Seinfeld...surprised he never tackled this one. :-)

Larry David used it for a "Curb" episode instead. Of course, Larry went to a dinner party, was asked to do so, refused, and it went from there. Very funny.

Bob

[Meganator]

We don't wear shoes in the house, at least not on the carpet. But I do NOT ask guests to remove their shoes. I DO ask repairmen and other servicepeople to do so, however. I don't actually pay very much attention to whether or not guests remove their shoes; I know that one family does, because they do in their own home (and we do, without being asked, when we visit them).

[stacy7272]

Do repairman remove their shoes?
Since I don't insist visitors take off their shoes even though we take off our shoes in the house, no, repairmen don't remove their shoes. The termite company that we use has their guys put little booties over their shoes before they come in which I think is an awesome idea - especially since they were here one time when it was raining.

DH has flat feet and has to wear shoes inside but they are shoes that he ONLY wears inside and I wear shoe-like slippers because my feet would get cold.

I take off my shoes when I go into other peoples' homes and I do hate it when I come away with very dirty socks. When it's a relative's home I will bring my slippers with me.

[gertdog]

Since I don't insist visitors take off their shoes even though we take off our shoes in the house, no, repairmen don't remove their shoes. The termite company that we use has their guys put little booties over their shoes before they come in which I think is an awesome idea - especially since they were here one time when it was raining.


The plumber we used a few months ago had the booties too. The painter we used brought a roll of paper and just unrolled himself a path from the door to the room he was working in. The paper was especially good since he didn't have to stop at the door to pull shoes on/off each time he needed to go out to his truck for something.

[beacooker]

This idea of going over to a friend's house and being asked to take off my shoes and put on some slippers that others have worn is really skeeving me out! Ew ew ew ew ew.

[ChristieinMB]

I would never go back to a house where I won't be allowed inside with my shoes. My only exception is for cultural reasons, but then I would know in advance the shoes are coming off.

How do you know in advance, other people's cultural expectations? Do I ask when issued an invitation? Instead of just casual, semi-formal, black tie, we now have shoes or slippers? Is there a delicate way to ask? Do I keep a pair in my car, what if I'm carless, maybe a specialty carryall bag for "emergencies"? Oh my, this is just so complicated, I'd rather be cultureless and crass! :) :)

[Robyn1007]

How do you know in advance, other people's cultural expectations? Do I ask when issued an invitation? Instead of just casual, semi-formal, black tie, we now have shoes or slippers? Is there a delicate way to ask? Do I keep a pair in my car, what if I'm carless, maybe a specialty carryall bag for "emergencies"? Oh my, this is just so complicated, I'd rather be cultureless and crass! :) :)

Most people who invite me into their home, I would at least have a clue or a suspicion that they might have a cultural difference. And, if it bothered me that much to walk around in socks then, yes, I would carry a pair of slippers in my car just in case. I already carry a pair of tennis shoes and a sweater and in the winter a blanket, what's a pair slippers added to it.

To answer the question, in my home, I'm shoeless because I love being barefoot (or in socks). In other's homes I follow what they are doing.

[blazedog]

I would think it bizarre if anyone from an "American" culture asked an adult to remove their shoes under normal circumstances -- i.e. there wasn't snow or mud but just normal street conditions. I would think that they need to get a life because wood floors and carpets are meant to be walked on -- and then vacuumed periodically.

Back East I can't recall ever being asked to remove my shoes under normal circumstances -- again, if one were wearing snow boots they would be left at the front but that's a different issue as no one would tracks wet into a house -- it's really the same as if one has a pool or lived on water -- you (and your guests) would rinse off one's feet or dry them to minimize damp and sand. But the guest or host would be prepared in those situations -- either because you have flip flops etc. And certainly if you are wearing boots in a snow storm, you pretty much expect to take them off at your destination.

I do understand cultural norms in terms of other cultures and would be fully prepared to remove my shoes in an Asian home as I have in Japanese restaurants. Many of those cultures provide slippers for guests though.

Absent that, I own my possessions -- they don't own me. My only experience with being asked to remove my shoes in a "western cultural" home was my ex SIL who lived in Vancouver and had a white carpet -- the whole family thought she should get a life and a darker carpet :D

[dreamer]

This idea of going over to a friend's house and being asked to take off my shoes and put on some slippers that others have worn is really skeeving me out! Ew ew ew ew ew.
Me too!!
And another thing I didn't mention in my post above, as far as having to walk around shoeless, is that sometimes the homeowners have pets walking around- and you know where they've been! :rolleyes:
I mean, I'm not totally consistent in all my habits either, but let's just say I'm with the group who likes to leave my footwear on! :)

[tbb113]

This idea of going over to a friend's house and being asked to take off my shoes and put on some slippers that others have worn is really skeeving me out! Ew ew ew ew ew.
I agree. It doesn't bother me to take my shoes off at a friend's house if requested, but it would bother me to put on her slippers.

All of us are usually shoeless at home but that is a personal comfort level, not a mandated request. Younger son kicks his shoes and socks off immediately (but he would live in flip-flops year round if given a choice). Older son kicks his shoes off at some point, socks come off at a later point (and usually a different location). I keep my shoes on the longest, but I don't put them on until I'm ready to leave in the morning (or if my feet are cold).

[stacy7272]

I need to ask, since it has been brought up a few times, why are some of you willing to respect the wishes of an Asian person but find the same wishes coming from a non-Asian person silly?

I'm actually unfamiliar as to the roots of the Asian cultural tradition of taking off shoes but unless it is religious I don't see why they would be deemed any more important than those of a non-Asian family.

My non-Asian kids only know taking off shoes when they go inside - all their friends do it too at their homes, Asian and non-Asian alike. So, isn't it their culture too? The tradition may not go back for generations but it is all they know.

[blazedog]

I need to ask, since it has been brought up a few times, why are some of you willing to respect the wishes of an Asian person but find the same wishes coming from a non-Asian person silly?

I'm actually unfamiliar as to the roots of the Asian cultural tradition of taking off shoes but unless it is religious I don't see why they would be deemed any more important than those of a non-Asian family.

My non-Asian kids only know taking off shoes when they go inside - all their friends do it too at their homes, Asian and non-Asian alike. So, isn't it their culture too? The tradition may not go back for generations but it is all they know.

Interesting question. For me, it has to do with cultural expectations as my understanding of the Japanese has much to do with the specific type of housing in Japan in which small spaces double as sleeping quarters with tatami mats. I am less familiar with the specific Chinese custom of shoe removal as I have never encountered it.

In American culture, it is not culturally "done" for better of worse as most people neither remove their shoes at other people's homes as a matter of course nor do they request others to do so.

I have trod on expensive wood floors and Oriental carpets in my time and never been asked to take off my street shoes. At least in my opinion, flooring is meant to take the normal wear and tear of street shoes -- when is the last time you have seen people taking off their shoes in a movie or television program except in terms of a plot line in which the person is a little too "fastidious" -- I just happened to see the Sex & The City episode in which Carrie lost her Manolos coincidentally.

To me it's somewhat equivalent to the awful plastic wraps on sofas that some people had when I was growing up :D

It's hard to imagine being that worried about the wear and tear on my wood floors and rugs by my friends walking on them in their street shoes. I can't imagine going to a party in which the people were walking around in their barefeet at the host's request -- sorry but my personal thoughts would be why bother to have a party if you are that afraid of what your guests might do to your house? :D

[laurelhiker]

Although I've already stated that I'm divided on this issue, based on the types of responses here I have to ask -- why do all of you who are offended when asked (or it is implied that you do so) to remove your shoes upon entering the homes of others state, in so many words, that the homeowner should "expect" dirt and basically, "get over it"? I'm not trying to be argumentative, I just really want to know. I have an issue with germs (which is why I remove my shoes in my own home), isn't it possible that others have the same issue, even if they don't necessarily communicate it to you? And do you also believe that germs are something that people should just "get over"?

That said, if a guest fails to remove his/her shoes as they enter my home, I would have a hard time requesting that they do so for any reason. In fact, I have never asked a guest to remove his/her shoes. It's an uncomfortable thing to do (even as much as I dislike the thought of germs spreading throughout my home) and I'd really hate for anyone to feel uncomfortable in my home. Service people, etc. are another issue -- although I generally place paper or old towels down if the person hasn't provided his/her own protective measures.

This is a touchy subject and there are valid arguments on both sides. I just wonder why so many are quick to take such a defensive posture about it.

-- GG

[ChristieinMB]

It's hard to imagine being that worried about the wear and tear on my wood floors and rugs by my friends walking on them in their street shoes. I can't imagine going to a party in which the people were walking around in their barefeet at the host's request -- sorry but my personal thoughts would be why bother to have a party if you are that afraid of what your guests might do to your house? :D
Ditto from me

[clairea]

Laurelhiker, I can't speak for anyone else, but the reason it bothers me to be asked to take my shoes off is that, for me, I don't feel fully dressed without shoes. I posted earlier that even though I never where shoes when I am at home with family, I will put them on if I am having guests in my home. If someone asks me to take off my shoes in their home, they might as well be asking me to unbutton my blouse, or take of another article of clothing. I am not bothered so much by the fact that my host thinks my shoes might be dirty -- either they are bothered by people's shoes or they aren't and I don't take that personally. What bothers me is that my host is putting their concern with the condition of their floors above my personal discomfort, and they are willing to ask me to do something that makes me extremely uncomfortable just to keep their floors clean. The floors can be mopped, vacuumed, etc. when I leave, but chances are I won't come back.

[ChristieinMB]

I have an issue with germs (which is why I remove my shoes in my own home), isn't it possible that others have the same issue, even if they don't necessarily communicate it to you? And do you also believe that germs are something that people should just "get over"?
This is a touchy subject and there are valid arguments on both sides. I just wonder why so many are quick to take such a defensive posture about it.
-- GG
Since you asked... yes, germs are something that people should just "get over". Too much emphasis is placed on germs today. I don't worry about them much, I rarely get sick. I know some people that constantly worry about germs, won't read a used book, constantly fretting in public places, freak out touching cash. I can't imagine placing those barriers around my life. I'm not referring to the people with immune disorders, but regular healthy people. That said, it is your home, do what you want, I (and others) would be uncomfortable visiting.
I don't read the defensive posture that you do, this is just a discussion, very interesting at that.

[blazedog]

Since you asked... yes, germs are something that people should just "get over". Too much emphasis is placed on germs today. I don't worry about them much, I rarely get sick. I know some people that constantly worry about germs, won't read a used book, constantly fretting in public places, freak out touching cash. I can't imagine placing those barriers around my life. I'm not referring to the people with immune disorders, but regular healthy people.
I don't read the defensive posture that you do, this is just a discussion, very interesting at that.

There are some studies positing a link between the rising rate of allergies and other auto-immune diseases and the increasing hyper-cleanliness of homes.

Absent an auto-immune disorder, I seriously doubt there is any risk of diease borne by other's shoes in my home unless they are walking inside my refrigerator or I am literally eating off the floors (which I don't do). :p People don't generally get ill from feet -- they get ill from their HANDS which touch all kinds of surfaces -- which is why washing with soap and water frequently is the best prophylactic (and NO it doesn't have to be antibacterial soap to be effective. :D ).

[laurelhiker]

And if I have to take them off and my feet happen to be smelly, I will follow the host around like a puppy to make sure he/she gets his/her fill of it

Maybe not "defensive", but definitely a strong opinion here :)

It wasn't my intention to argue that everybody should be concerned about germs at equal levels. There's no real point in doing that in this thread. Germs are real, they have the potential to do damage. People are either bothered by them or they are not. My real question was, why is this a question of right or wrong? It doesn't matter what the reason is, clean floors, germs, religious belief, tradition -- if a person has a "shoes-off" policy, unless there are special circumstances (ie: disability, funky toes or smelly feet), really, is it THAT big a deal?

I am concerned about germs but not enough to offend my guests by making them uncomfortable with a request to "disrobe", so I guess I am taking both sides.

-- GG

[funniegrrl]

The "right or wrong" question comes in concerning the basic rules of hospitality and good manners. A host's primary concern should be the comfort of the guests. In Western culture, demanding that someone remove their shoes before entering the house -- whether it's because of a belief of germ issues, pristine floors, carpet condition, or whatever -- is simply rude. It places the host's personal phobias and concern over their belongings above the comfort of the guest. "Comfort" being defined in a social manner as well as a physical one. Can you imagine being invited to someone's home and then being told you must remove your blazer, or your jewelry? Never mind if that brooch is hiding a stain, or you have a hole in your shirt that the blazer is covering. You should be prepared! You should be ready to remove all extraneous articles of clothing if your host asks, because, by god it is their house! :rolleyes:

In the interest of good manners, the proper guest will of course remove shoes immediately if asked. This does not make the request justifiable, nor should the host be surprised if the guest declines future invitations. By the same token if the host only wishes to entertain people who are of a like mind regarding the undesirability of wearing shoes indoors, that is certainly their right.

[MikeC]

I find this whole discussion absolutely fascinating!

I have lived in Maryland all my life and have been to many gatherings and parties during my years of living here. I have never once been asked to remove my shoes in someone else's house. And I will admit that I would find it extremely uncomfortable to be asked to remove my footwear. On occasion, when I am at a very informal dinner at a close friend's house and I'm the only guest, I sometimes ask if it's OK to take my shoes off (purely for my own comfort), but I would be shocked at being requested to do so.

I was thinking this might be something of an "East Coast vs. West Coast" thing, and yet I see posters from PA who prefer guests to remove their shoes.

I was raised to believe that homes were meant to be lived in. That meant that plastic covers were never left on new furniture; that meant that even the living room was always available to be used, not just on extra special occasions; and that meant that our carpets were never white!

Honestly, and personally, I would be embarrassed to say to guests that I had invited to my home, "Please take your shoes off and walk around in your socks and hose."

[ChristieinMB]

My real question was, why is this a question of right or wrong? It doesn't matter what the reason is, clean floors, germs, religious belief, tradition -- if a person has a "shoes-off" policy, unless there are special circumstances (ie: disability, funky toes or smelly feet), really, is it THAT big a deal?
It isn't really a question of right or wrong, but is it polite or offensive. I find it offensive, so do many others, if one cares more about germs or flooring then the
comfort of their guests, they should continue to have guests dis-shoe at the door. It is not a big deal in my life, well, on second thought, it may help me choose my future friends. Then again, maybe my dirty shoes have offended others in the past, oh well. :)

[MikeC]

It doesn't matter what the reason is, clean floors, germs, religious belief, tradition -- if a person has a "shoes-off" policy, unless there are special circumstances (ie: disability, funky toes or smelly feet), really, is it THAT big a deal?
-- GG

I guess, from my point of view, it isn't a big deal as long as your guests know ahead of time that they will be asked to remove their shoes.

If you tell me ahead of time that I'll be asked to take my shoes off, then I can make a decision whether or not to attend. But I'd be pretty taken aback to arrive at someone's house and then be told that I had to take my shoes off before entering.

[Angelina]

Although I've already stated that I'm divided on this issue, based on the types of responses here I have to ask -- why do all of you who are offended when asked (or it is implied that you do so) to remove your shoes upon entering the homes of others state, in so many words, that the homeowner should "expect" dirt and basically, "get over it"?

I think my problem would be that such a request would put me on the spot. Imagine you get to a party and you walk in and you are asked to take off your shoes, with people all around you. What do you do if you have a reason not to take them off? Is there a delicate way to whisper to the hostess "No, sorry, my feet stink to high heaven". I would be so embarassed!! I wouldn't want to have to explain.

And someone asked about my expectations of removing my shoes. I just have friends whom I know will ask, and they are Korean, Vietnamese and Indian. If I go to the house of Asian friends, I have a reasonable expectation that I will be asked, so I prepare myself.

Angela

[laurelhiker]

Rude to request, I don't think so. Rude to demand, definitely.

I'm going to stir the pot a bit. What about cigarette smokers visiting non-smoking households (I'm talking invited guests here)? Certainly, the smoker would be more comfortable being able to light up at leisure (or at least in the manner to which he/she has become accustomed in his/her own home), but is instead forced to smoke outside or not at all. Is guest comfort still of the utmost consideration here? I would venture to say that many would insist that cigarette smoke has far more potential to harm and offend than do dirty shoes, but really, does it? A person's home is personal, it is not a hotel, it doesn't need to meet the needs of every single person who crosses its threshhold -- yes, even invited guests. There is this notion in our society that a "guest" is something to be so highly regarded that one's personal habits and comforts should be DISregarded if they conflict with those of the guest.

The saying used to be "a man's home is his castle?"; nobody says that anymore. Miss Manners might agree that it is rude to demand that a guest remove his/her shoes, but I think she would also agree that guests who believe their hosts should "just get over" dirt or germs or scuffmarks on the hardwood are equally rude.

There is no one-size-all approach to this, so perhaps nobody should visit anybody for any reason -- ever. At least until they market the home decontamination chamber. :D

-- GG

[tbb113]

I find it hard to believe that you are really trying to equate shoes and smoking.

Smoking is BAD, it gets into carpets, paint, clothing, etc. The house needs to be fumigated afterwards to really get the smoke out. Shoes make a small mess that can be remedied by vacumming or washing the floor.

BUT...it's your house. Feel free to set the rules. Just let your guests know beforehand so that they can wear appropriate clothing (ie..pants that are hemmed to be worn with flats instead of pants that would be dragging on the ground since I hemmed them to floor length with 3" heels) or pass on the invitation.

There are also health reasons why I wouldn't want to be barefoot (planter warts, anyone?), foot/arch issues, etc.

And finally, why do my socks and clothes have less germs than my shoes?

[jellyben]

And finally, why do my socks and clothes have less germs than my shoes?


I would think shoes have all kinds of gross stuff from outdoors-animal feces and such. You might not think you stepped in dog doo, but you might have picked up some residue unknowingly? I am far from a germaphobe, but my kids and spend a lot of time on lying on the carpet and I get grossed out thinking of all the yuck that gets tracked in on shoes.

When we moved into this house we got all new carpeting. I was very relieved when people as a matter of routine took off their shoes. Maybe it is because of where we live(rain, anyone?) but I would rather remove my shoes at a friend's house than get dirt on their carpet. Carpet is expensive!

[laurelhiker]

Your shoes go everywhere you go -- through pesticide-laden park grass, through gasoline dripped from gas pumps, through public restrooms where people have "missed", through sidewalks covered in spit, chewing gum, dirty tissues, rotting food particles. Unless you are meticulous about cleaning them off after each use (with boiling water and disinfectant), merely "wiping" your feet on a mat, no matter how thoroughly, will not rid your shoes of every nasty little thing that has made its way into every little crack and crevice. And if you wear those shoes into your house, you track every single nasty thing you encounter into your home, where you spread it onto every walkable surface, on which every living being IN your home must walk. If you sit on those walking services, stand up, dust your hands on your behind casually, and then touch those hands to another surface (countertop, remote control, etc) you've just spread those germs even further. If you touch food with those hands then you've just INGESTED some of those nasty little buggers. No other article of clothing has so much potential to attract so much filth.

Ridiculous to worry about germs? Perhaps. But there's too much stuff out there that I CAN'T control, you can bet I'm going to be meticulous about what I can control, at least to some degree. But again, as I've said twice before, I have NEVER asked that a guest remove their shoes in my home. That doesn't stop me from wishing they would, though.

And as far as comparing shoe goo to cigarette smoke. It's all the same as I'm concerned, it's all potentially harmful and offensive. Just because everybody doesn't share the exact same hang-ups doesn't mean that one is more "valid" than any other. If a homeowner has a fear of red shirts and a guest shows up wearing a red shirt, the homeowner has a right to be freaked out by that red shirt. Does he/she have the "right" to request that the guest remove the shirt? Sure. But the guest also has the right to (1) take the red shirt fear into consideration and wear a blue shirt next time OR (2) decline any further invitations.

My problem with the direction of the argument (of the original question) wasn't which is better, shoes or no shoes? Even I am ambivalent there. My question was why were those opposed to "no shoe" requests so put out by them (when there wasn't a legitimate health concern involved). My own father is one who believes in wearing shoes into no-shoe homes DELIBERATELY to send a message to those who would request that he remove them -- sort of thumbing his nose at those "uppity" types. I just sensed a little of that in some of the responses here.

Never intended to raise so many hackles about it. Just thought it was interesting.

-- GG

[blazedog]

Your shoes go everywhere you go -- through pesticide-laden park grass, through gasoline dripped from gas pumps, through public restrooms where people have "missed", through sidewalks covered in spit, chewing gum, dirty tissues, rotting food particles. Unless you are meticulous about cleaning them off after each use (with boiling water and disinfectant), merely "wiping" your feet on a mat, no matter how thoroughly, will not rid your shoes of every nasty little thing that has made its way into every little crack and crevice. And if you wear those shoes into your house, you track every single nasty thing you encounter into your home, where you spread it onto every walkable surface, on which every living being IN your home must walk. If you sit on those walking services, stand up, dust your hands on your behind casually, and then touch those hands to another surface (countertop, remote control, etc) you've just spread those germs even further. If you touch food with those hands then you've just INGESTED some of those nasty little buggers. No other article of clothing has so much potential to attract so much filth.

Ridiculous to worry about germs? Perhaps. But there's too much stuff out there that I CAN'T control, you can bet I'm going to be meticulous about what I can control, at least to some degree. But again, as I've said twice before, I have NEVER asked that a guest remove their shoes in my home. That doesn't stop me from wishing they would, though.

And as far as comparing shoe goo to cigarette smoke. It's all the same as I'm concerned, it's all potentially harmful and offensive. Just because everybody doesn't share the exact same hang-ups doesn't mean that one is more "valid" than any other. If a homeowner has a fear of red shirts and a guest shows up wearing a red shirt, the homeowner has a right to be freaked out by that red shirt. Does he/she have the "right" to request that the guest remove the shirt? Sure. But the guest also has the right to (1) take the red shirt fear into consideration and wear a blue shirt next time OR (2) decline any further invitations.

My problem with the direction of the argument (of the original question) wasn't which is better, shoes or no shoes? Even I am ambivalent there. My question was why were those opposed to "no shoe" requests so put out by them (when there wasn't a legitimate health concern involved). My own father is one who believes in wearing shoes into no-shoe homes DELIBERATELY to send a message to those who would request that he remove them -- sort of thumbing his nose at those "uppity" types. I just sensed a little of that in some of the responses here.

Never intended to raise so many hackles about it. Just thought it was interesting.

-- GG

Perhaps I am mistaken but didn't you post earlier that you preferred NOT to take your shoes off at other people's homes? Why do you then think it odd that others have the same preference?

I think in America it is currently not the cultural expectation to be asked to remove one's shoes when visiting someone's home -- absent unusual weather circumstances.

As indicated by those thread, most people would think it to be an odd request -- not ALL -- but most and most people would prefer to leave their shoes on in most circumstances.

[Kristilyn1]

my husband and I battle about this a little bit, but like most things--I win :D

We all religiously take off our shoes at our house. I NEVER ask guests to. My parents do, because we do and our very closest friends do. I can see from this thread that I do need to let my family and friends know that they do not HAVE to take their shoes off. I may have been remiss in this and I'd hate for my guests, no matter how informal our relationship is, to think that they HAVE to take them off. I think it's rude. I have rugs, they can wipe their feet off and let's face it, even with all this effort, our floors still get dirty! We have a floormate to use on our hardwoods and I'm STILL horrified by how dirty they get.

I have a solution for people who expect guests to take off their shoes--buy those slip on booties like doctors and plumbers wear. You simply slip them on over your shoes and it allows you to keep your shoes on and it keeps any doggy doo doo off the floor. Then you can sleep at night.

Kristi

[Farhana]

I agree with laurelhiker. Shoes go everywhere, specially the public restrooms, I can't imagine those shoes are walking on my carpet :eek:. Also, why labelling people as "obsessive cleaner'', and being rude to those who don't want shoes in their house? They are not labelling others(who are for shoes) as pigs......

[laurelhiker]

Perhaps I am mistaken but didn't you post earlier that you preferred NOT to take your shoes off at other people's homes? Why do you then think it odd that others have the same preference?

Yes, I said that. I don't see the contradiction. I remove my shoes when in someone else's home, even though I would be more comfortable IN my shoes. I prefer people to remove shoes when entering my home but I don't make the request that they do so. I wish them to be comfortable. Therefore, I put guest comfort over my own concerns about germs.

I don't wear shoes in my own home because I think the benefits of NOT wearing them outweighs whatever drawbacks there might be. I don't wear shoes in other peoples' homes for the same reason. Why should I drag germs into their home if I don't want them in mine?

I don't see this as an issue of preference. If it were, it wouldn't merit much of a discussion. Instead I see it as one of aesthetics (not funny having muddy footprints on a white carpet) and of heath, which is of even greater importance. Most of those who posted in favor of a no-shoe policy seemed to say that they don't force this policy on guests. Neither do I. But a few of those in the shoes-all-the-time camp seem a bit militant in their view that we no-shoes should "get over it". I just wondered what was behind this attitude.

Just because dirt and germs aren't a big deal to some people, doesn't mean those things aren't important to others. I don't think hockey is a big deal, but I don't visit the homes of hockey-loving friends and loudly proclaim "hockey stinks". Simply being a guest in someone's home doesn't entitle you to anything other than graciousness and consideration from the hosts. You wouldn't wipe your dirty shoes on your host's face, would you? Of course not, but it might help to realize that some people don't welcome the (completely unintentional) icky stuff that travels on your shoes even as they welcome YOU into their homes.

Really, what I'm reading here is "I think worrying about germs and dirt is stupid, therefore I shouldn't have to remove my shoes". That's like saying that because I don't watch the Olympics personally; they should be removed from television. Or I don't like dogs, they shouldn't be allowed to walk in my neighborhood. People's homes are their private spaces, their refuge from the (often ugly) world. Whatever reason they have for going shoe-free, no matter how trivial it seems to someone else, is valid. Germs are just as valid as "tradition". Dirt is just as valid as germs. Etc. Ad naseum. (Again, disabilities are a separate issue altogether, and aren't pertinent to the issue at hand -- I can't see that a host would make a guest with a disability that requires shoes remove them.)

This is beginning to turn a bit nasty, I think. Maybe we would all do well to not take it all so personally.

:)

-- GG

[laurelhiker]

And the funny this about all this is, for YEARS I've avoided these kinds of online discussions because I've found that no matter what the issue, no matter what "side" I take on the issue, nothing good ever seems to come out of them. I thought this one was innocent enough and I thought what I had to say was fairly neutral. And here I am, flustered and feeling like I've been taken out of context. Doesn't anybody READ these things carefully before they respond?

Lesson learned.

-- GG

[ChristieinMB]

Just because dirt and germs aren't a big deal to some people, doesn't mean those things aren't important to others. I don't think hockey is a big deal, but I don't visit the homes of hockey-loving friends and loudly proclaim "hockey stinks". Simply being a guest in someone's home doesn't entitle you to anything other than graciousness and consideration from the hosts. You wouldn't wipe your dirty shoes on your host's face, would you? Of course not, but it might help to realize that some people don't welcome the (completely unintentional) icky stuff that travels on your shoes even as they welcome YOU into their homes.

Really, what I'm reading here is "I think worrying about germs and dirt is stupid, therefore I shouldn't have to remove my shoes". That's like saying that because I don't watch the Olympics personally; they should be removed from television. Or I don't like dogs, they shouldn't be allowed to walk in my neighborhood. People's homes are their private spaces, their refuge from the (often ugly) world. Whatever reason they have for going shoe-free, no matter how trivial it seems to someone else, is valid. Germs are just as valid as "tradition". Dirt is just as valid as germs. Etc. Ad naseum. (Again, disabilities are a separate issue altogether, and aren't pertinent to the issue at hand -- I can't see that a host would make a guest with a disability that requires shoes remove them.)

This is beginning to turn a bit nasty, I think. Maybe we would all do well to not take it all so personally.

:)

-- GG
I think you are getting way too emotional over this, no one is dictating your personal practices, it is just a discussion. I think you are the only one that has personalized it, maybe something from your childhood (father). I know, you have an issue with germs, okay with me.

[laurelhiker]

Nope, not emotional at all. Spent too much of my time today on this thread, maybe, but not upset. As I said, I see both sides of the issue, guest comfort and host concerns. As I said, I put guest comfort over my personal concerns. I was a bit curious about those who shared a "get over it" attitude and went from there. I explained my position there, felt like I was taken somewhat out of context, and further clarified my position. Obviously, I didn't do this well enough as each subsequent clarification also seemed to be taken out of context. Then I submitted a post which explained why I avoid these kinds of threads. This is about shoes. I thought I'd have some fun and learn something. What I learned was that my fear of these kinds of subject discussions was well-warranted. What I learned is that, from now on, I will stick to food-related topics. I'm sure you are all very sweet; it's just the nature of the internet that's ugly.

:)

-- GG

[badunnin]

Nope, not emotional at all. Spent too much of my time today on this thread, maybe, but not upset. As I said, I see both sides of the issue, guest comfort and host concerns. As I said, I put guest comfort over my personal concerns. I was a bit curious about those who shared a "get over it" attitude and went from there. I explained my position there, felt like I was taken somewhat out of context, and further clarified my position. Obviously, I didn't do this well enough as each subsequent clarification also seemed to be taken out of context. Then I submitted a post which explained why I avoid these kinds of threads. This is about shoes. I thought I'd have some fun and learn something. What I learned was that my fear of these kinds of subject discussions was well-warranted. What I learned is that, from now on, I will stick to food-related topics. I'm sure you are all very sweet; it's just the nature of the internet that's ugly.

:)

-- GG
Not emotional, just flustered. It's ok - we've all been there. The internet is far from ugly, IMO. I've been a part of some eye-opening and somewhat life-changing conversations here that have opened viewpoints to me that I wouldn't have experienced otherwise. Too bad you don't seem to view it that way.

[badunnin]

Bumping. (Anyone else having timeout issues?)

[laurelhiker]

badunnin...actually, I have had some great discussions online as well. But the few negative experiences I've had have been bad enough to leave me cautious and skeptical. Also, it's made me very careful of the words I choose in any discussions where "opinions" reign supreme. I wouldn't say this ranks as a bad experience necessarily, but I see signs that what I've written with care doesn't seem to have been read with care. I find that immensely frustrating. I really don't want to beat a dead horse with regard to specific comments/responses. Suffice it to say, that sometimes it's just better to admit you can't "win" (even if you're not specifically trying to) and just walk away before you DO become emotional about something that's ultimately not worth it. Most everyone on these boards seems nice, but I don't know them and they don't know me. Even in a virtual community, I don't want to have a reputation as a troublemaker. I read more threads than I participate in, I've witnessed plenty of instigating (not in this particular thread) and I don't want to be involved in that sort of thing.

Perhaps the prudent thing to do in this situation is to simply stop posting to a particular thread, period, rather than go into the reasons why. Somehow, sometimes that just feels wrong to me. It did today. Of course I don't believe that the internet is "evil". But there are many aspects of communicating online that could stand improving.


You all have a lovely evening :)

-- GG

[ChristieinMB]

Really Laurelhiker, others disagree with your opinion, and gave their own, it is not a personal attack on you as a person, don't take it that way. It is a discussion. Disagreement is not misunderstanding, your posts were understood by me, I just disagree with your point of view. You, obviously disagree with mine, I'm not upset by that. We all deal with germs differently, that is okay by me.
I enjoy reading other perspectives without taking it as personal insult.

[laurelhiker]

Really Laurelhiker, others disagree with your opinion, and gave their own, it is not a personal attack on you as a person, don't take it that way

This is the perfect example of what I find frustrating. I did not say I felt personally attacked. I said (repeatedly) that my statements were being taken out of context, in that, I asked a question and in lieu of an answer I found myself quoted. I apologize if you think it's out of line to be frustrated to the degree that I feel I should opt out of further discussion. That's all there is to it. I'm not angry now, nor have I been angry, emotional, hysterical, or otherwise inconsolable at any point in the discussion. What I am is disappointed in myself that I haven't fully learned from my other experiences (mostly from watching others, not so much from my own participation) that threads like these almost always degenerate into something somewhat less than enlightened. I take responsibility for my own part in this. I asked a question. I could have responded (once) to the initial post and left the discussion to others. But I didn't. I got involved, and while I don't regret my involvement, I thought it best to cease and desist before I did come to regret it. In the scheme of things, this is such a small thing. And as soon as I finish posting this, you are all welcome to chime in further on how I shouldn't take it personally, and it will be as if I'd never written this, or my previous post at all.

Because none of you know me, you will (mostly) all fail to see that my tongue is planted firmly in my cheek. But if it comforts you in any way to think that I am beside myself with indignation and emotion, by all means....

My father (with whom I apparently have many issues -- see above) always said "think before you speak", if I can offer any advice (to those who will take it) it is this: read before you post. Truly, it helps.

:)

-- GG

[PAMMELA]

I think this is a very interesting discussion!

I'm with the "Now that I think about it, if I have guests in my home, I will put shoes on. I don't feel fully dressed for guests otherwise" group.

If it's just me and DH, i'm barefoot unless my feet are cold. I would never ask guests to remove their shoes before entering (and I have very light carpet and I entertain a lot). Germs really don't bother me much, and I would be extremely uncomfortable being asked to remove my shoes.

[Erzsebet]

Personally I detest shoes in my home. I think this is just something that has carried over from being raised in a home with an obsessively clean mother. I absolutely have no problem if someone were to bring slippers or soft-soled non marking shoes that they only wear in the home. I see it as a sign of respect to remove mine when entering someone elses home--unless I notice that they are wearing shoes then I politely ask them what their preferences are. My daughter and her new husband attempted to wear their *flip-flops* the last time they were here and I caught myself staring at them the whole time (the flip-flops) because I couldn't make up my mind about them, lol.

[bobmark226]

My father (with whom I apparently have many issues -- see above) always said "think before you speak", if I can offer any advice (to those who will take it) it is this: read before you post. Truly, it helps.

-- GG

It's too bad your father also didn't teach you the lesson of keeping things in proportion. This is a message board, this is a fun topic and you've put far too much negative energy into it.

Bob

[ClaraB]

All right, I'm going to jump right in here because I don't think it's right for laurelhiker to carry the load all by herself :D . I don't wear shoes in my house, and I prefer that others don't either. I won't specifically ask adult guests to take their shoes off (I do ask my DS's friends to, because their shoes are usually pretty dirty), but if they ask, I will say that I prefer shoes off. No, I'm not a germ phobe (I don't believe in antibacterial soap in the home, for instance), but I do like to keep my floors cleaner than the ground outside. Plus, this is how I was raised - we always took our shoes off at home, and did the same at homes we were visiting (I grew up in Atlantic Canada - it may be a regional thing there?). I don't host functions where ladies wear 3-inch heels, so pants dragging on the floor isn't a real issue at my house. I think it's funny that those of you on the "other side" wouldn't hesitate to remove your shoes in an Asian home, out of deference to your hosts, but you wouldn't want to remove them at mine? Why the double standard? Or does my "culture" not matter to you?

[MikeC]

The subject is so fascinating to me because the whole idea of removing shoes is so outside the realm of my experience.

I mentioned something in an earlier post, but I don't think anyone responded directly to it: For those of you who ask guests to remove their shoes, what do you do about guests who have never been to your home before? Do you warn "new" guests that you prefer not to have shoes worn inside your house so that they can bring slippers or slipper socks?

If I was warned ahead of time, I would probably think it unusual, but I'd bring a pair of slippers with me and figure that I would just be very comfortable for the evening! But I would find it very strange to be asked to remove my shoes without any warning.

[SusanMac]

I find it really wild that there is this much discussion over shoes in the house. Who knew this was such a hot issue with so many opinions! 4 pages of discussion. We should be some weird sociology experiment! Totally interesting.

I don't ask people to remove shoes in our house, but they typically do it automatically, & I do the same when I go to other people's houses. Not usually in summer, but always during the rest of the year. It's totally normal where we live. I never did it when living in CA or CO. It's now a habit. I've never had anyone bring slippers to put on.

[laurelhiker]

This is a message board, this is a fun topic and you've put far too much negative energy into it.

Bob

Ah, the game is afoot.

On the contrary, Bob, I don't think I've put nearly enough negative energy into it, and until I feel I've exhausted my virtually limitless store of negative energy, you are just going to have to "get over it".

You're too smart by half, Bob. There are dozens of things that my father didn't teach me! He didn't teach me, for instance, that the mediocre mind will do everything in its power to bring a higher intellect down to a medicocre level. I learned that one all by myself -- when a cogent argument presents itself, attack! Reduce the logic to emotion! Above all, insist that the arguer is taking it personally! And for heaven's sake, psychoanalyze!

In the midst of typing my diatribe, I realized something. I realized that the reason I never got an answer to my initial question is that it is impossible to defend the indefensible. "Get over it!" I have the right to subject the people of the world - particularly my hosts - to my filth! "Get over it!" Germaphobia is counterproductive!

That should keep you all busy for a while.

I now return to my regularly-scheduled life, where I will proudly continue to take myself too seriously to participate in "fun topic" discussions in ANY forum.

:)

-- GG

PSA for the day: Reading is Fundamental

[Angelina]

I think it's funny that those of you on the "other side" wouldn't hesitate to remove your shoes in an Asian home, out of deference to your hosts, but you wouldn't want to remove them at mine? Why the double standard? Or does my "culture" not matter to you?

At least for me, that is not the issue. It's just that I know ahead of time when visiting an Asian home that it's reasonable to expect the shoes to come off and I can prepare myself for it. But I wouldn't know when coming to your house the first time. :) And if a guest says "No", would you press them on it or let it go?

Not related to your post, but I was wondering...are people's floors really so spotless at all times? If you have pets/dogs/husbands, chances are that things get spilled. A glass breaks and as much as you try, there is always a stray piece of glass that manages to get away and sit in ambush. How about bathrooms? Water gets spilled and bowls are sometimes missed. I really would hate the idea of my socks getting wet in someone's bathroom! :)

Angela

[BarbaraL]

I've found this thread very interesting, "negative energy" notwithstanding. I like having my shoes off, but have at times wondered if my hosts might not like me kicking my shoes off (too "casual" maybe). The only reason I mentioned my Chinese friend is because the Oriental custom of removing shoes inside the house is pretty well known; and, seeing my friend remove her shoes, I just followed suit. Absolutely did not mean to disrespect any else's culture or preference, I was just unaware of it.

I think it's fascinating how different people see things different ways, and how something that's important to one person may not have even crossed the mind of someone else. Maybe that's why there's so much discord in the world. I try to keep an open mind, be alert to others' feelings, respectful of others and their customs, not take things too personally, and give others the benefit of the doubt. Makes life much more pleasant.

[dreamer]

Although I've already stated that I'm divided on this issue, based on the types of responses here I have to ask -- why do all of you who are offended when asked (or it is implied that you do so) to remove your shoes upon entering the homes of others state, in so many words, that the homeowner should "expect" dirt and basically, "get over it"? I'm not trying to be argumentative, I just really want to know. I have an issue with germs (which is why I remove my shoes in my own home), isn't it possible that others have the same issue, even if they don't necessarily communicate it to you? And do you also believe that germs are something that people should just "get over"?




-- GG
I suspect I'm not representative on this subject, but thought I'd contribute just my point of view, since I actually am sympathetic with the germ/dirt issue. As I mentioned in one of my posts above, my problem with it is that the people who have asked me to do this have an obviously dirty floor! (Yeah, strange, since they purportedly make the request to 'keep their floor clean'). They also have animals.
Anyway, were I to go shoeless, I'd definitely be grossed out about getting my socks/hose so dirty, and then having to put them into my shoes, getting them germy/dirty on the inside.
Also, I often would slip/slide on their floor when I lacked shoes.
Also, my feet hurt without the support of shoes.
They seemed oblivious to these types of issues--- until one time...I started bringing 'house-only' shoes when I went over there- and then one of them told me that they'd started doing this in their own home, because they'd discovered that their feet hurt without the support. :o :rolleyes:
I know this isn't the world's biggest issue but thought I'd offer my thoughts! I may even change my mind about it sometime, but this is how it strikes me now.

[funniegrrl]

ClaraB ... Your culture, and mine, is that there is not an automatic expectation that shoes will be removed, and that it would be rude -- highly offensive even -- that shoes would be worn into the house. The fact that you PERSONALLY feel that shoes should be removed is not a cultural norm, it is a personal preference. Big difference.

[badunnin]

The more I think about it, the more muddled it becomes. In my mind, when I leave my house to go visiting, I'm fully dressed, head to toe. My shoes are included as part of my outfit - I've chosen them for a reason, whether it be fashion or comfort. If I'm asked to remove my shoes, I'm being asked to remove an article of clothing.

[PAMMELA]

The subject is so fascinating to me because the whole idea of removing shoes is so outside the realm of my experience.


Yep, me too!

[Arete]

Here's an interesting article that I found:
http://www.naturalhomemagazine.com/backissues/04-01/KickShoes.asp

It mentions that in Alaska and Hawaii, it IS customary to remove shoes when entering the home (probably due to snow/mud in Alaska, and the red dirt in Hawaii.) So if someone grew up in one of these states, it is a part of their culture. The US is a huge area, and there are cultural variations by region. And I think the shoe issue may be one of these variations. However, with the general mobility of people these days, many people now live in an area that they weren't raised in, so they wouldn't know the cultural norms... Just a thought.

Editing to Add: It also mentions that in Japan, shoe removal is done for cleanliness.

[laurelhiker]

Ann Landers
Asking guests to remove shoes is common practice

Now, Dear Readers, this is Ann talking: I still say carpets are meant to be walked on, and hosts should not insist that guests remove their shoes. However, in some parts of the world, and certain areas of the United States, when it is expected that you remove your shoes or boots, DO IT. They have good reasons for asking. And I might add that providing alternative footwear makes the process more acceptable, especially for those with holes in their stockings

For the entire page, click here: http://www.s-t.com/daily/04-00/04-03-00/zzzadlan.htm

And further thoughts: http://www.bellaonline.com/ArticlesP/art29826.asp

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/living/2002346128_shoesoff24.html

And, because I believe in playing fair --

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/living/2002346129_shoeslite24.html

Thought these might be helpful, especially because they were not penned by me.

:)

-- GG

[funniegrrl]

As I said, if asked I would do it, because I believe in being a good guest and complying with my host's wishes. That does not mean I would think it a reasonable, hospitable request (barring weather-related issues).

[Grace]

This idea of going over to a friend's house and being asked to take off my shoes and put on some slippers that others have worn is really skeeving me out! Ew ew ew ew ew.

This skeeves me out too!!! I do wear mostly slippers or "soccer slides" at home myself, but sometimes I wear my shoes too. I don't insist people take off their shoes when they come in, but 99% of everyone who comes in just takes theirs off automatically anyway! But it wouldn't bother me a bit if they left them on. Some people ask me for slippers and I really need to buy some for visitors because I HATE giving them mine to wear!! It skeeves me to think their feet are in my slippers! It's a hang-up I have, I don't know why. Sorry.

As for other people's houses, I usually take off my shoes, but I'd prefer to keep them on. I have really, really ugly feet that I'm self conscious of, but if it's winter and I'm wearing socks, this isn't really an issue. But most people's houses are much colder than what I keep mine at, so I don't like walking around without my shoes, and I definitely don't want to wear THEIR slippers!! Yuck-ola.

DH is a Real Estate Appraiser, and his "work" shoes/boots are the only ones that NEVER come in the house. He goes inside lots of really awful homes, and anyone with a cockroach problem also has cockroach eggs (invisible to the eye) on their floors. So those can get picked up on his shoes and brought home, so those practically have a skull and crossbones on them, and aren't allowed anywhere near the inside of the house.

[kima]

Guess you don't want to hear that I got up in the middle of the night and traipsed about in your slippers Grace.. :o ;) :p


Just wanted to be you if only for just a brief moment.

[ClaraB]

ClaraB ... Your culture, and mine, is that there is not an automatic expectation that shoes will be removed, and that it would be rude -- highly offensive even -- that shoes would be worn into the house. The fact that you PERSONALLY feel that shoes should be removed is not a cultural norm, it is a personal preference. Big difference.See, if you had read my post, you would see that it is NOT my culture to wear shoes in the house - I specifically stated that I was raised in an area (Atlantic Canada) where it is not expected that one wears their street shoes indoors. The host may not be "highly offended" that you left your shoes on, but he sure would look at you funny ;) .

I personally think that this is making mountains out of molehills. I can certainly understand why many people would prefer to leave their shoes on - I'm just asking those "on the other side" to understand my POV, as well. Promise I won't make you take your shoes off at the door :) .

[Grace]

Guess you don't want to hear that I got up in the middle of the night and traipsed about in your slippers Grace.. :o ;) :p


Just wanted to be you if only for just a brief moment.

You wanted to walk a mile in my moccasins??!! :D :D How did it feel Maureen?!! Nevermind, don't answer that..... :D :D

[hollysmom]

Although my shoes leave my feet inside the door (comfort), and we go barefoot around here so much anyway (it is Houston after all), I have to wonder about the 'shoeless' folks method of dealing with cat and dog germs - the kitties dig in the kitty box and the dogs do their business outside and come back in.

SSM

[bobmark226]

the dogs do their business outside and come back in.

What? You think my dog dances around in it or something? :eek:

Bob

[hollysmom]

Not sure - what is that back leg scratching thing that some dogs do after they 'do their business' ? :confused:

Point is - there is still the 'outside' coming in the house whether on feet or paws. Trust me - I have 5 cats - sometimes 'outside' is cleaner than my floors :o

Of Course, now I have this mental picture of someone putting 4 little blue 'plumber's slippers' on their dogs' feet as it comes in...

SSM

[bobmark226]

Not sure - what is that back leg scratching thing that some dogs do after they 'do their business' ? :confused:


It's called marking and if Lucky did it, I would definitely make him wear booties and remove them at reentry. Not to be mean or anything, but that little baby of yours probably carries around more nasty little buggies than any dog or kittycat. :eek:

Bob

[hollysmom]

I agree - the 3 year old germ factory - more dirt than any other 'outside' concern. I also have an 8 year old. No dog has even passed around strep throat the way these kids do!

SSM

[mbrogier]

Ok, from this thread I have determined that:

*I will take my shoes off in someone's home if they ask me too, because I like to be a polite guest--barring dirty or wet floors or the host having nasty bare hobbit feet with noticeable plantar warts. (my hang up)
*I will not under any circustances use the bathroom unless their is a just mopped sign and a mop and a bucket right by the door. I don't know you THAT well. I know how clean MY floor is and don't traipse around public restrooms in sock or bare feet.
*I will bring pretty slippers whenever I visit the homes of anyone new...just in case.
*I don't expect you to "get over" your germ phobia, but don't expect me to "get over" my I don't want to walk on your floors soaking in YOUR foot germs and getting your warts or fungus hang up.
*I don't get the "culture" taking shoes off thing in America. No one sleeps on mats on the floor anymore. If you want me to remove my shoes, fine, but I can't assimilate to the so called cultures of every region in the US. Just tell me what you want me to do, but don't be surprised if I look at YOU funny.

I'm really laid back. I don't have many hang ups. I'll let you do just about anything in my house except smoke--Rob has asthma. (well, anything unsanitary would make me a little unhappy) I don't expect my cultural preferences to be practiced by my guests. I like the fact that we're all different. I like to meet new people. I like to make people feel comfortable in my home, and it is just my opinion that too many "house rules" destroys that feeling.

[ChristieinMB]

I'm really laid back. I don't have many hang ups. I'll let you do just about anything in my house except smoke--Rob has asthma. (well, anything unsanitary would make me a little unhappy) I don't expect my cultural preferences to be practiced by my guests. I like the fact that we're all different. I like to meet new people. I like to make people feel comfortable in my home, and it is just my opinion that too many "house rules" destroys that feeling.
Amen :) :) :) :) :) :) okay I needed more characters

[Peweh]

Your shoes go everywhere you go -- through pesticide-laden park grass, through gasoline dripped from gas pumps, through public restrooms where people have "missed", through sidewalks covered in spit, chewing gum, dirty tissues, rotting food particles. Unless you are meticulous about cleaning them off after each use (with boiling water and disinfectant), merely "wiping" your feet on a mat, no matter how thoroughly, will not rid your shoes of every nasty little thing that has made its way into every little crack and crevice. And if you wear those shoes into your house, you track every single nasty thing you encounter into your home, where you spread it onto every walkable surface, on which every living being IN your home must walk. If you sit on those walking services, stand up, dust your hands on your behind casually, and then touch those hands to another surface (countertop, remote control, etc) you've just spread those germs even further. If you touch food with those hands then you've just INGESTED some of those nasty little buggers. No other article of clothing has so much potential to attract so much filth.

-- GG

Interesting. But I would think people's HANDS could be carrying just as much or more dirt/germs. I know you said you don't ask people to remove shoes but perhaps you are obsessing about the wrong thing. I would bet most viruses are spread by some hand or sneeze initiated contact rather than foot.

[punkin]

This is an interesting thread. I've never bothered to think about this before. I go barefoot in my house (all hardwood) and so would never wear shoes inside. I live in an urban area. Like another poster mentioned, the places the bottoms of my soles touch are FILTHY. And, unlike hands, most people don't wash and disinfect the bottoms of their shoes. I also don't have pets. Or kids. And I keep my place very clean because I have allergies to dust. My family and my closest friends take off their shoes when they come over. It doesn't bother them at all. However, if I had someone over that I didn't know so well, I wouldn't ask them to take off their shoes. It would be impolite. I would just clean my floors thoroughly after they left. Does that make me a polite germaphobe :D

[tyroleancutie]

The "keeping shoes on" thing must be american because in Austria it's just what you do when you go to someone elses house. You take off the shoes. It's considered rude if you don't, at least in my family.

I don't ask people to take off their shoes but when it's a real nasty day outside and we have people over, I kindly ask them to take of them off. It's not that I really LOVE to clean the floors.

Our new apartment will have carpet floors in the bed rooms and the downstairs area where the living room will be - the place where we live now is hardwood floor only. I don't mind people running around with their shoes on hardwood floors but I am picky when it comes to carpet. I really can't afford getting carpet floors cleaned all the time because someone can't take their shoes off.

[mbrogier]

Interesting. But I would think people's HANDS could be carrying just as much or more dirt/germs. I know you said you don't ask people to remove shoes but perhaps you are obsessing about the wrong thing. I would bet most viruses are spread by some hand or sneeze initiated contact rather than foot.

First, that's apples and oranges. Second Um, I wash my hands regularly, and definitely after visiting the toilet. I also wash my hands after shaking other people's hands, definitely if I think they've been sneezing everywhere. The difference with walking around someone else's home in stocking feet is that my feet are damp from being in my shoes and then I pick up whatever germs you have including staph or whatever other lovelies you might have in your kitchen/living area. Germs love a nice warm damp area to grow. My hands don't provide that, but my feet do. I haven't noticed foot basins and sock dryers available to guests in most homes. With my hands I can choose what I touch. Since I haven't mastered the art of levitating, I prefer to keep my germs to myself and let you keep yours.

This is just a preference. If I dropped in on someone who wanted me to leave my shoes at the door or it was awful weather and my shoes are filthy--I will walk around your house in my stocking/bare feet. I won't be as happy, but I will do it. I said I'm really laid back. I don't have a ton of neuroses that control my life. I just wrote what went on in my mind when I thought about walking around in someone else's home in my sock feet and why in a perfect world I'd rather not walk around in sock feet.

ETA: No one said anything about obsessing but you. This is just an interesting discussion about different thought processes and ideas on this subject. I don't freak out about dirty hands or feet. I do have a crappy immune system and do what I can to protect myself. You may be surprised that I do not live in a bubble or a clean room. I don't use anti-bacteria hand soap unless I've just handled poultry. (hey, if you've gotten food poisoning you might consider it too.) I do not own every product that Clorox carries and sometimes even forget and touch my face in public. I rarely use purell. I prefer good old fashioned hand washing, but I'm not OCD.

[leebee]

If I had friends come over to, say, watch a movie or just hang out and it was raining, really muddy or very snowy, when they came in, I'd say, "You can put your shoes over there if you want to remove them," and indicate where the shoes can rest if they choose to. If they choose not to, I will clean up after them, with nary a dirty look nor rancor in my heart. I want my guests to be comfortable and feel welcomed in my home, which is no shining example of extreme cleanliness anyway. If I were hosting a "dinner party" or an event of some sort, I would not suggest they remove their shoes. In fact, if the event were one that people were dressing up for, I would likely put shoes on before anyone came in to complete my outfit. At a party or open house-type event where there were many people, I would never, ever ask guests to remove shoes, especially if it were rainy, etc. Why? Because if I missed a guest or someone refused, then my other guests would be stepping in whatever they tracked in, be it water, mud, snow or some sort of germy gunk. Besides, I do think it a bit odd, so I would be disinclined to request it anyway. I do remember my grandmother, who was polite to a fault, once faced a situation regarding dirty shoes. She lived in an area with a high iron-ore content in the soil, so when it rained, it created a slimy mud that stained everything. She had some unexpected guests show up, and they came to the door with their feet COVERED in orange goo. She quickly pulled two kitchen chairs up to the entry and said, "Oh, sit down so you can get those wet shoes off and we'll put them on the heater to dry while we visit!" This was a great way to keep the yucky shoes from entering the house and made it a service to her guests. I think that's what I would do if the situation warrants. But you're welcome in my house with your shoes on. I suggest it, actually. It hurts less when you step on the Legos.

[ClaraB]

But you're welcome in my house with your shoes on. I suggest it, actually. It hurts less when you step on the Legos.LOL - in our house we consider those "thief deterrents", although now that I think of it, thieves aren't particularly likely to remove their shoes at the door :D .

Sorry for the brief hijack....

[mbrogier]

LOL - in our house we consider those "thief deterrents", although now that I think of it, thieves aren't particularly likely to remove their shoes at the door :D .

Sorry for the brief hijack....

That's funny! Why is it always the ones with stark white carpet and toddlers who have the no shoe policy? I spend my time hopping around on one foot picking up lost legos, or worse those Christmas tree ornament hooks that get wedged in the carpet. Owee. Don't forget to give those back to your hosts! :D

[katze99]

In winter I use to wear pantyhose under my pants. But I hide them under boots. When I visit some friends, I keep a pair of cotton socks in my bag. In the house of my friends I can slip on the socks as soon as I take off my boots. So I avoid the pantyhose to be visible !