Got invited to a bris....

[nlh]

And I don't know much about what to expect. I just know it involves a sharp knife and a dr. Will we be up-close-&-personal during the ceremony or is it private between the family members and then the party is afterward? Can someone enlighten me? I feel like its an honor to be invited to one---isn't it just family and close friends usually? It's at the friend's house. Is this a formal occasion? Can someone give me a suggestion or two on what to bring as a gift? I really appreciate your help!

[blazedog]

And I don't know much about what to expect. I just know it involves a sharp knife and a dr. Will we be up-close-&-personal during the ceremony or is it private between the family members and then the party is afterward? Can someone enlighten me? I feel like its an honor to be invited to one---isn't it just family and close friends usually? It's at the friend's house. Is this a formal occasion? Can someone give me a suggestion or two on what to bring as a gift? I really appreciate your help!

Depends on what you mean by up close and personal and also what the parents prefer but traditionally the ceremony is performed in front of the friends and family -- no different than a baptism or a wedding.

As to gifts, an appropriate baby gift of some kind.

It's a party -- have fun -- should be lots of good food and drink after the actual ritual :)

[newtricks]

I've been to my nephews and it is indeed an honor. Their bris's were fairly small and in their living room. The actual "event" was right there in the middle of the group. I *think* it's appropriate to leave the room if you must (my sil's mom did - the jewish grandmother!) but I would have felt wierd doing that. Like I was rejecting the tradition so to speak?

Actually, I was pleasantly surprised at how quickly the boys settled down - as in almost instantly. It gave me the courage to be in the room when ds was circumcised. And may I say that in my experience the moile does a much quicker job than the doctor!!

Can't remember what gift I brought but I was in my 20's so maybe didn't even bring one :o :eek:

[tbb113]

It depends on the mohel as well. For both of my son's all of the 'prep work' was done in private and only the final snip was done in front of the group.

Any gift that you would give to a newborn is appropriate (cash, toys, clothing, books, etc)

[Aubergine]

it's analagous to a christening, and traditionally it is also when the baby is officially given his Hebrew name.

as for the cutting part, you needn't feel bad if you'd prefer to stand back a bit. as a Christian who (like most persons here) had both my sons circumcised 2-3 days after birth, and who was there with them for both occasions, it's not a happy moment for the babe, both in my experierience, and from the limited research done.

but! not to be a downer, just to agree that if you'd rather not be up close and personal at the cutting, be in the second row.

it is an honor to be invited, so think in those terms. and enjoy the opportunity to witness another culture's centuries-old ceremony! i know my Jewish friends felt similarly when they were invited to my children's christenings, and i recently went to my first Bar Mitzvah, which was endlessly interesting in its difference from our church's confirmation at a similar age.

[Lrimerman]

Everyone's responses are correct. However, I just wanted to mention that at both our son's bris' the mohel told people before the actual cutting part that they were free to look away or leave the room, many of us (including myself, my mom, my aunt) all left the room. There was no disrespect involved as we were told when it was ok to come back. We did hear a slight cry from my youngest son, but my middle one didn't even make a peep other than when he was undressed (didn't like the cold?). However, our non-jewish neighbors came and they remained in the room, the husband was very "green" after and upset as he didn't realize it was the actual cutting, thought it was just a ceremony. The mohel did explain, but he must not have understood.

We received baby gifts (clothes, toys, books, money, etc) just as you would for a shower or newborn gift.

Lisa