Baptism question?

[Valerie226]

Our nephew has invited us to a baptism for their first child. we are not planning on attending.( too far, too expensive) Is a card adequate or is a gift expected? I don't have much experience with this...we are not religious nor are either of our families, and I'm not sure anyone ever mentioned baptisms at all. If they were done at all they were't "events". so we are pretty much in the dark. If so, what's suitable? it's a girl under a year old.

[Becky13347]

I think it would be fine to send a card and maybe write a short note inside. :)

Becky

[blazedog]

Depends on the relationship with your family - particularly your brother or sister as well as your nephew.

Gifts for these kinds of occasions are sent by family members even if they aren't in attendance - if the members exchange gifts on other ceremonial occasions.

I don't mean to sound confusing but the occasion merits a gift regardless of attendence among many families as it's a significant rite of passage. If no one ever sends gifts to grand nephews, then you don't need to send a gift.

I don't think actual attendence is dispositive - it's the tradition among the family and your closeness.

[ChristyMarie]

I think a card would be fine. I would not expect to receive gifts in their place.

[ellielk]

Personally, I would send a small gift just because of the nature of the occasion - something like a gift certificate in the $25 to $30 range from a childrens' clothing store (Baby Gap?) or a savings bond. I'd do this just because it's probably a big occasion for them. That's just me, though.

How close are you to the nephew? If this was someone you were close to as he was growing up, I'd say send a gift. If you feel that they were just sending invitations to everyone, and you're not particularly close to the nephew, then don't feel obligated.

Do you think your sibling will be insulted if you don't send something? Then, take into consideration whether you want to live with that.

Did you already send a baby gift? Then, I don't think you need to feel obligated to send something now?

Again, it's not necessary to send something and certainly not necessary to send something big but in my opnion, it would be thoughtful to mark the occasion with something small.

[Gumbeaux]

What denomination/religion are we talking about?

Baptismal gifts are not customary among Baptists or Methodists.

[Valerie226]

It's DH's sisters son. they were semi catholic .... non practicing. We used to be close to the nephew but since he married we don't hear much from him. We've met his wife at the wedding. I think her family is more religious ( but I honestly don't know what faith. we attended their wedding :confused: :confused: a couple years ago but I don't remember .....
our nephew is somewhat estranged from his mother and step father...much tension there.... so I wasn't sure about asking. maybe I will anyway. We already started savings bonds for the girl. Maybe a gift certificate. there's all sorts of weird family politics going on here, as usual, and it's probably impossible to do the right thing for everyone. If we send more than his mother does, for example, she'll get ticked... but at least it doesn't sound like something would necessarily be expected.

[Clover]

I think a card with a note written in it would be fine. In the Episcopal and Catholic baptisms I've been involved in, it's customary for the godparents to give a gift, and it's usually something that ties into the religious nature of the occasion or commemorates the event, and not anything big. It's not customary for other people, and anyone close enough to be invited to the baptism probably gave a baby gift already anyway.

[Chelle D]

I agree that a card is fine. When DS was baptized, I was surprised to receive some gifts. We did receive many cards and a sprinkling of gifts.

[Valerie226]

OK, done! a card with a nice personal note is what we'll do. I have no clue what stores they have (denver) and I'm not enthused about getting on the endless gift cycle for every conceivable event. Now that I've thought about it we've never been invited to a baptism by the other nieces & nephews. Like I said earlier, it was a surprise to me to even hear about it at all. There is enough rivalry between siblings already & we try to treat everyone equally so as not to add to the tensions. Thanks everyone for your thoughts.

[DeeK]

What denomination/religion are we talking about?

Baptismal gifts are not customary among Baptists or Methodists.

I think that might depend on your particular church or family. Our family is Methodist and gifts are customarily given at a Baptism. It is usually something related to religion (i.e.: a children's bible, a religion-based book, a Christian-themed stuffed animal, or for a girl a cross on a necklace.)

[emptyspool]

I love to give children's books for baptism. Sister Wendy does a book called A Child's Book of Prayer in Art which is a really beautiful book and something you could write a note in for them to keep. She is quite the art critic if you know anything about her.

Also Tasha Tudor does some childrens books - The Lord's Prayer and The Twenty Third Psalms are two I have purchased in the past but don't know if they are still available. The artwork is nice in those also.